BD timing help PLEASE

[Wishonastar]

Hi ladies, Well January is the month for us!!!Two weeks left!!!Been loosely following the diet... So hard when it's Xmas and new year!! But cutting down salt etc.. Upped my calcium, taking cranberry and folic acid, have DH on cranberry so all that's left is when?

With my first DS we DTD 7,4,3,2 before O and with DS2 we DTD 6,4,3,1 days before ovulation... So should we abstain for 7-10 days this time as that would be opposite to doing what I done for my boys? OR

Should I abstain with a cutoff of 2-3 days before O with a once off BD?

Or should we abstain 7-10 days, DH do FR on his own then closer to O do frequent BD till after O? DH is 30 as well as me.. We will incorporate the hot showers and I will take Zyrtec before BD...

Hopefully someone has conceived boys same as me and can help with how they girl swayed )

[rainbowflower]

that sounds like a very traditional sway!

I don't necessarily agree with "doing the opposite of when you had boys" approach because not everyone does ALL things that sway blue when they conceive blue. Naturally most of us have a mix of things that sway pink and some that sway blue, and then mother nature chooses for you.
saying that, frequent BD is different to frequent release , because the latter means less attempts and lower CM/pH/testosterone/total swimmers trying to get the egg for you. Either frequent release with a couple of attempts at pos OPK or abstain with one attempt at pos OPK would be good for you.

I wouldn't try a cut off - there's no evidence it sways (in fact, evidence suggests strongly that timing doesn't sway), and it can just make it more difficult for you to get pregnant at all

[Wishonastar]

Thanks so much for your response... Would you agree with 7-10 abstinence during AF....BD 3-4 days before O after abstinence, then get DH to do FR for about 3-4 days (as iam worried about too much testosterone raising my ph) then BD day before day of O and day after O?

[rainbowflower]

you're right that does sound complex!
if you plan on abstinence I do feel you only need to do one attempt to get the most of the lower sperm count from that (I believe that lowers them in a different way than FR, as with abstinence you'd have lower sperm count but those in that sample would be "older" sperm). I don't know what a second release following abstinence would contain - whether it would be new fresh sperm or more of the older ones. Atomic - have you seen any studies on this?

FR is likely easier to do. Personally we'll likely do CFR again, but if doing regular FR we'd release and BD on alternate days

[Wishonastar]

Thanks for all your advice... What is CFR... One term I haven't heard before :worry:

[black&gold]

compressed frequent release. My understanding is that dh releases (on his own, or with your help..whatever) once or twice and then as soon as possible after that you make an attempt.. basically he's released so much that the amount of sperm will be very minimal. I could be wrong as I'm still new to this but I know thats what CFR stands for :)

[rainbowflower]

compressed frequent release. My understanding is that dh releases (on his own, or with your help..whatever) once or twice and then as soon as possible after that you make an attempt.. basically he's released so much that the amount of sperm will be very minimal. I could be wrong as I'm still new to this but I know thats what CFR stands for :)
that's right, he pretty much empties his supplies with the first release, and then if you DTD within 8 hours he doesn't have anywhere near as much left to come out when he releases again. After the next 8-hourly release the quantity he releases levels off and is at the minimum end of the scale.. .i.e. very low sperm count and concentration.
of course if you DTD in less than 8 hours he will have even less still as it won't have had as much time to build back up

[Wishonastar]

Thanks ladies, wow another link to add to the chain :) this is going to be one interesting month :D CFR does sound "safer" would we do this every night till O confirmed? Or just around day before day of and day after O?

[rainbowflower]

it depends how long you'd be able to keep going for
most men wouldn't be able to do releases every 8hrs for too long!

around pos OPK or during the fertile window would be perfect timing for CFR

[Wishonastar]

Thanks, will DEFINATELY try this around O time... Fingers crossed!! Thanks for all your advice

[rainbowflower]

good luck, might be worth investing in some quality OPKs (and making sure you have enough of them to test twice a day nearer OV time) if you try this approach!

[Wishonastar]

Got my hands on some of them
Already.... Now just to wait :)

[mkarntz1980]

With my swayed DD (now 13 months) we BD everyday for about 10-12 days once i got a pos OPK we BD that night and stopped. now im swaying again, well i was but im not getting pregnant, so im not even really thinking about timing.

[Wishonastar]

As O approaches I'm getting more and more nervous about BD timing :/ DH is a very active, high libido man... So this is why I have chosen AB as its something we don't do... We have regular sex so AB just makes sense? Right? Or am I just trying to convince myself lol... I wish there was a crystal ball to tell me what to do next week :(

[atomic sagebrush]

we have seemingly been hhaving better results with bd only once so I would do either abstain and 1 attempt or fr with one attempt

best evidence indicates timing does not sway


can anyone post a link to the jellybean essay I'm on my kindle

[atomic sagebrush]

compressed frequent release. My understanding is that dh releases (on his own, or with your help..whatever) once or twice and then as soon as possible after that you make an attempt.. basically he's released so much that the amount of sperm will be very minimal. I could be wrong as I'm still new to this but I know thats what CFR stands for :)

that is hurry up fr

for cfr he should hAve2-3 attempts for two to three days and then attempt

can someone post links for frequency

[atomic sagebrush]

As O approaches I'm getting more and more nervous about BD timing :/ DH is a very active, high libido man... So this is why I have chosen AB as its something we don't do... We have regular sex so AB just makes sense? Right? Or am I just trying to convince myself lol... I wish there was a crystal ball to tell me what to do next week :(

I think abstain with one attempt is a good sway both effective and easy to do as long as he is under 35

[Wishonastar]

Thanks Atomic... That's what i planned from very beginning but when you start reading all
The info out there you begin to doubt everything...'I will still with AB and one attempt with a cut off...'thanks so much :)

[Wishonastar]

Atomic should i do a 2-3 day cut off or BD when I get my positive opk? My cycle is generally an average of 27 days with O occurring on cycle day 16... By this time DH would have abstained for 14 days "hopefully".... His 30 years old, very active...

[atomic sagebrush]

timing does not sway. bd only one attempt at pos opk.. cutoff does not sway and prevents pregnancy.
got my girl with bd at pos opk

[Wishonastar]

Thanks Atomic, feel much more confident going with the positive opk... Is 14 days abstinence ok for DH? I'm having a hard time controlling him already :/ but I'm determined and he "partially" is... My only scare would be him having a wet dream.... Yes he IS that bad! High libido which why I'm certain AB is good for us.... Should i still take Zyrtec an hour before bd? And should I jump and dump or lay with hips propped for a while? Was thinking hips propped due to me reducing sperm count so much already?

[Wishonastar]

I found the jelly bean essay... Such an excellent way of describing it! Thanks so much

[atomic sagebrush]

The positive OPK plan is better for many reasons so I'm glad you're open to that.

14 days abstinence is more than is needed. Go with 7-10 days instead esp. if wet dreams are a concern. If it does happen, then have him release 2x a day for 2 days and then switch to straight FR at that point or use the hurry up FR as a rescue if you're nearer to your attempt.

Zyrtec should be taken 6 hours before because it takes time to get going. You can take it for anywhere from 1-5 day(s) before attempt and/or just save it for day of attempt.

Up to you on J and D - you could also do a compromised J and D after 5 minutes, which is usually what I recommend with abstain + 1 attempt.

[Wishonastar]

Thanks Atomic, so now AB will be 9 days, is that ok? And I tested his ph this morning and its between 7 & 8 more closer to 7.. So would you recommend maybe staying away from Zyrtec completely? Or use it? If I do use it, it will be 6 hours before on attempt day only... Will this be ok considering the 9 days AB?

[atomic sagebrush]

I honestly don't know what is best. I'm sorry, wish I did.
how much cm do you have??

[Wishonastar]

At the moment I don't even have enough to test PH! I have never been this dry after AF! I guess that's my answer!