ive lost hope

[aimee83]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. I have 2 dds age 3 and 5, 17 weeks with my 3rd, this whole time I hoped it was a boy, pregnancies were so different from the beginning, everyone was saying they think it was a boy. At 15 weeks the tech thought girl but wasnt confident, and everyone on here from ramzi and skull theory guess, girl. And in my heart i know it's a girl. I feel like i haven't bonded with her because i was do sick, Hospitalized, from a cyst and them got hyperemesis, at home with a picc line and iv fluids. Very expensive. Thank god, for good insurance though. I just really wanted to give my dh a boy, he says he doesn't care i think mostly because our oldest is very tom boyish and plays hockey and loves to do everything daddy does. But what about when they are older? Will he feel differently?I was just really hoping for a miracle, and kind of wish the tech wouldn't have guessed at 15 weeks, so I could have lived in my dream world a little longer. I have 4 friends with kids and all of them have 2 kids, 1 boy 1 girl. So of course all I ever hear Is poor my hubby, I hope this one is a boy he's so out numbered, and did you have another one just hoping for a boy. And the one friend is a guy that has 2 older brothers, I really wanted to say, well does your parents wish you were a girl. Did you "mess" everything up for them.

And this will probably be the last baby for us, i stay at home, with my hubby being the sole provider things gets expensive and I need to think about.when they are older :(

Thanks for letting me vent girls, i know once she's here I will be so in love, and I do love seeing her on the ultrasound, I'm just not looking forward to all the disappointed looks and all the comments, about how sad they feel for us and my dh.

[aimee83]

With both my older girls I dreamed of them from early on and they came out looking just like my dreams, and they look nothing alike, and i knew they were girls. With this one I just started dreaming about it a month ago, and in my dreams it's a 10 pound boy, that has the same characteristics of my first daughter. So I feel like I'm not bonding with her at all, at night I dream of a boy and I spend my days day dreaming and googling wrong unsound predictions at 15 weeks. I feel like a horrible mom :-[

[RKT Mama]

There are lots of mums, myself included, that have been in that same dark place you are.
I have 3 sons and I still resent my youngest for being a boy even though he is my dream child compared to his brothers and I love him more than life himself.
I said 3 kids and that's it, but 4 years later my GD is bad enough that I am trying again. Even though it is completely irrational and crazy. At nearly 20 weeks I am still trying to ignore the fact that there is a baby in there because I am petrified to hear "boy".

Don't give up hope, especially when you haven't yet had a formal girl/ boy scan. And if it is a girl, you still have options ahead of you: acceptance, trying again naturally or high tech and adoption.
I pray you get your boy but if you don't, I hope you find an option that doesn't involve giving up hope.

[fish2012]

aimee i hope you get your boy, life is so sad hear we are wishing with all our hearts to hear girl (knowing inside it'll be another boy) while you're there thinking the opposite.

I wish there were a magic bullet for all of us, i hope you find peace however it works out

[Justonetime]

I feel the same way! I've had 2 csections with my 2 girls n I'm haven another with this one due in June. They told me girl on Wed but there's no lines like with my other girls. They said they say girl because they didn't see any boy parts. Also the heart rate is 132 with this one and the other 2 were high 150s. I've had dreams of haven a boy and we swayed big time! I even made sure to only have sex after ovulation so id either get preg with a boy or no preg at all. I'm carrying really low and want sours n salts. Everything says I should have a boy but the ultrasound. I've felt boy the whole time n its so different than the othr 2. I'm going again at 22 wks and well know for sure! I've spent the last couple days in bed crying because this is our last chance and have wanted a boy evry preg. I love my girls and I know ill love this one too but its just sooo hard to deal with right now. It feels like a hole in my heart to know I won't give my husband his lil man hes always wanted too. I keep praying everyday for a miracle at 22 wks! I've heard of more stories saying they were told girl and it came out a boy.. please dear God!

[zebaniee]

I had terrible gender disappointment with my second DD. I swayed for her to be a boy but it wasn't meant to be.

My DP and I have decided to add to our family again and I am swaying like mad.

I have actually said to DP, what happens if it is another girl, do you want to terminate the pregnancy? I was horrified that I actually said/felt this, but I am desperate to have a boy.

My 'plan' was to have a boy and a girl. I never had brothers myself and I felt I was missing out on that as a child so I really want my daughters to have one.

[zebaniee]

Void, your post could have been me. My pregnancies were both different so I was sure I was having a boy. We were already talking about trying again before our second daughter was born. I love her so much and wouldn't change her for the world, but I was disappointed.

[4devochki]

I could have written your post 5 years ago. Our last pregnancy was with twin girls, and though I thought I would collapse from GD when they arrived, I was too grateful that they were healthy, as I was already 41.5 and sometimes those things don't turn out well...they are such beautiful, charming, intelligent, gregarious, funny dear girls. I can't be sorry for a second...and yet I feel utterly torn up inside that my boy is not coming.

I don't know if that's what you want to hear. As you say, you will surely love her when she comes...I hope you get your dream, still.

[aimee83]

Thanks everyone for your replies. We decided to do a 4d ultrasound a few days before my 20 week one so our girls can be there and also my mom and his parents. Just to make it more special. I'm also hoping having my girls there will make it special and i won't be so sad. My sister in law and hubby are the only ones who know how I really feel. And my hubby keeps reminding me this is the last

[Adia]

Aimee83 and so many others, how I relate!! WHen I found out about DD3 we were crushed.

RKT said it so well and their seems to be something so bitter about the third of the same gender. BUT many of us have proven that our GD babies own our heart like no other and even if we have GD after our GD babies, we wouldn't trade that little bundle for anything.

DD3 threw me into the dark depths of GD when I was prego but once she was born I was easily able to separate my GD from her. She's my mini-me and I can't get enough of her.

Like RKT I am insane enough to try again but I'm in a different place now and I think I can deal with another girl if that is what happens.

Hang in there, just tell yourself that 3 girls is very special and soon enough it will be. GD may not go away quickly but it will change its tune once you have a baby to hold....I promise!!:hug2: