Tiggerian
January 21st, 2013, 05:43 AM
Sorry, but I'm feeling really low right now...
Just one month ago we were getting ready to start TTC'ing, thinking by the end of this year we'd either be parents again or be expecting. Now I don't know if we're going to even get started this year!!
I'm still waiting for my bloody MRI after having to cancel Friday due to snow (not my choice, every thing just shut down!).
I know they are hoping it will be small enough to be treated with medicine, but for some reason that freaks me out even more! I talked to a girl who said she had to battle for over a year before finding treatment that worked! A YEAR!!!
A year before finding effective treatment, then waiting for prolactin levels to be normal, than wait to see if it's stable, than maybe we can TTC... Looks like it might be years before we get to hold our next one in our arms...and it really upsets me!
It's so depressing!! All our plans for this year are just going down the drain. My mood is going very dark very quickly. I find myself always been angry, my temper is constantly flaring, I got no patience... Yesterday I broke down crying... don't know why, just did...
My kids especially are driving me mad! I can usually deal with them arguing and fighting or being loud. But lately I just can't! I got a headache 24/7 and they just really grind on me.. then I find myself shouting at them for stupid reasons.
I'm seriously Queen Bitch lately! I can't stand it.. I'm sick of waiting, I'm sick of feeling sick.. I can't sleep, eat, go to school, do my homework (I got an assignment in tomorrow and I can't even finish it because focusing for longer periods of time hurts my eyes).
I feel like my family are constantly demanding and demanding and I can't keep up! It's always something... They always want or need something and Heaven forbid we should do something for ourselves! Than if I don't respond immediately they go right up to my head and scream MUUUM in my ear, which HURTS my head!! I seriously get this urge to just slam my head into the wall just to make everything go away... I know that sounds insane, but I just can't handle it much longer!
Why did this happen!?? WHY can't I just for ONCE be normal and not get all the weirdest diseases and ailments!? Why is it affecting my mood and ability to cope so much all of a sudden!?
It doesn't help that I got zero help from family. I haven't heard from my parents or most of my siblings. Only one sister, who's in another country. My in-laws, well they don't like me, so fat chance of them helping.
This year was suppose to be so good... I was so happy because I felt like I'd finally have my little girl... Now I feel like I'm just loosing everything... I just can't cope right now... I feel like I'm sat in a very dark, lonely place... :sad:
Just one month ago we were getting ready to start TTC'ing, thinking by the end of this year we'd either be parents again or be expecting. Now I don't know if we're going to even get started this year!!
I'm still waiting for my bloody MRI after having to cancel Friday due to snow (not my choice, every thing just shut down!).
I know they are hoping it will be small enough to be treated with medicine, but for some reason that freaks me out even more! I talked to a girl who said she had to battle for over a year before finding treatment that worked! A YEAR!!!
A year before finding effective treatment, then waiting for prolactin levels to be normal, than wait to see if it's stable, than maybe we can TTC... Looks like it might be years before we get to hold our next one in our arms...and it really upsets me!
It's so depressing!! All our plans for this year are just going down the drain. My mood is going very dark very quickly. I find myself always been angry, my temper is constantly flaring, I got no patience... Yesterday I broke down crying... don't know why, just did...
My kids especially are driving me mad! I can usually deal with them arguing and fighting or being loud. But lately I just can't! I got a headache 24/7 and they just really grind on me.. then I find myself shouting at them for stupid reasons.
I'm seriously Queen Bitch lately! I can't stand it.. I'm sick of waiting, I'm sick of feeling sick.. I can't sleep, eat, go to school, do my homework (I got an assignment in tomorrow and I can't even finish it because focusing for longer periods of time hurts my eyes).
I feel like my family are constantly demanding and demanding and I can't keep up! It's always something... They always want or need something and Heaven forbid we should do something for ourselves! Than if I don't respond immediately they go right up to my head and scream MUUUM in my ear, which HURTS my head!! I seriously get this urge to just slam my head into the wall just to make everything go away... I know that sounds insane, but I just can't handle it much longer!
Why did this happen!?? WHY can't I just for ONCE be normal and not get all the weirdest diseases and ailments!? Why is it affecting my mood and ability to cope so much all of a sudden!?
It doesn't help that I got zero help from family. I haven't heard from my parents or most of my siblings. Only one sister, who's in another country. My in-laws, well they don't like me, so fat chance of them helping.
This year was suppose to be so good... I was so happy because I felt like I'd finally have my little girl... Now I feel like I'm just loosing everything... I just can't cope right now... I feel like I'm sat in a very dark, lonely place... :sad: