Fear of what?

[Aussiemato2]

I do not know if I am in the right place to vent and or ask advice but have decided to try swaying for a daughter,but have a HUGE fear and great doubt. I have two wonderful boys,with my first pregnancy I wanted a boy so bad and got him,with my second I wanted a girl very bad,did not get her,I was so very devastated,and strugeled the rest of the pregnancy and felt I was cheated not to get a daughter,once my son was born I felt sooooooooooooooooooo much guilt and bonded with him in an instant it was so amazing I love him so INCREDIABLY much,its almost like the Gd caused my bond to be stronger to him once he entered the world.Like many can agree I would never exchange him for a hundred girls!But I do have reservations that if my sway "fails" that I will again have GD and what if it is much much worse.I would without doubt love another son,but will be saying goodbye to the dream of a daughter.My fear is really real !!!do I just bite the bullet or wait?any advice? my boys are 8.5yrs and 14mths.

[Wanting-a-girl]

I think maybe you should wait and think about it... Swaying is not a guarantee and you should have a baby cause u want a baby so then sex doesn't matter as much... I have three boys and wanted my 3rd to be a girl so bad but he's a boy... I never had GD... I only tried for a fourth time cause I wanted a baby not just a baby girl...

I think you need to think about it a bit more....

[Fl-Mom-x3boys]

wanting a girl, how do you know it's a boy already?

[2lovelyboys]

Aussiemato2, your not alone, there are a few women here ttc a girl who feel the same way, I am one of them! I love my boys soooooo much and feel blessed to have 2 happy healthy boys. I also dream and pray for a little girl!

I suffered GD with DS2, I wanted to find out gender at my scan to enable me to deal with feelings before he arrived, it worked!

I have had to make the decision whether to continue to expand my family and risk having DS3 or stop with my 2, I decided that I want another child in this house (would feel like someone was missing otherwise) boy or girl, I know there is a chance it will be a boy but am swaying and doing as best I can in an attempt to push the odds in favour of a girl! It is a scary process and I am always second guessing my decisions but when (fingers crossed) I get a BFP I will know I have done all I can!

Just know you are not on your own!

[Cinss]

If HT is an option for you or at least something you can think about go that route, other wise you are taking a gamble, its really good when it works out in your favour but not so good the other way, swaying is not 100%

[wannagirl21]

I think she know's swaying isn't a 100% and I completly know how you feel, I have two boy's as well and each of them have a special place in my heart. I will be honest I was terrified at the thought of swaying cuz it's not a 100% and that's what scared me. but swaying is something where we can try and up our odds of our DG and I think if you truely want another child and want a girl and don't want to go HT, atleast with swaying and whatever the outcome is atleast you knew at the end of the day you did what you could to sway your odd's, and if it's a girl that would just be wonderful and if it's another boy at least you knew you did what you could and you won't have any ( what if's) in the back of your mind and if it is a boy thenmaybe you can find peace in your heart to stop at that and just know you did what you could to get a girl. ( make sense). Which way you decide but know you will have ton's of support from these ladies if you decide to sway and they help every second along the way.:happy:

[sbowman]

I understand how you feel. I have a lot of guilt because I experienced GD with my second boy. I was one big pity party for myself a few months ago, and then only a few weeks after finding out the gender we also found out that he wasn't going to make it. But I think this experience has helped me get into a mindset where I would be fine with either gender when we TTC again, as in even if it is another boy I would be over the moon happy despite having swayed. I think if you're not in a place like that, then maybe swaying isn't the best option for you and you should seriously consider going HT instead or just waiting for a time where you would be more at peace with potentially having a third boy.

[LacePrincess]

If I may, I don't think Wanting knows it's a boy yet. What she's saying is that she's sure she's not risking GD and is definitely in a place where she will love and bond with either gender.

I 100% agree. Swaying isn't even close to 100%. It may not even be 50%, tbh. If you tend towards either gender then swaying *may* bring you towards your desired gender, but if you start at, say 90% likelihood of making blue, and you sway then any increase over 10% of having a girl is still a sway. But it still doesn't mean you are LIKELY to have a girl, kwim?

I always caution people to please, please, for your sake and the unborn child, don't try until you KNOW you want a baby. It's of course understandable to have GD, and if we're on this board we've all been there!, but you really have to know that you will be happy with another boy if you try again.

Personally I would've TTC again years ago for #4 if I knew it was to be a girl, but I knew I couldn't deal with GD. It wasn't until this year that I knew I was ready to have another baby, period. And I can tell you 100% for sure that if it's another boy, I will be as over the moon as if it were a girl. If you can't say the same, then please wait until you do or look into HT.

[fish2012]

If I may, I don't think Wanting knows it's a boy yet. What she's saying is that she's sure she's not risking GD and is definitely in a place where she will love and bond with either gender.

I 100% agree. Swaying isn't even close to 100%. It may not even be 50%, tbh. If you tend towards either gender then swaying *may* bring you towards your desired gender, but if you start at, say 90% likelihood of making blue, and you sway then any increase over 10% of having a girl is still a sway. But it still doesn't mean you are LIKELY to have a girl, kwim?

I always caution people to please, please, for your sake and the unborn child, don't try until you KNOW you want a baby. It's of course understandable to have GD, and if we're on this board we've all been there!, but you really have to know that you will be happy with another boy if you try again.

Personally I would've TTC again years ago for #4 if I knew it was to be a girl, but I knew I couldn't deal with GD. It wasn't until this year that I knew I was ready to have another baby, period. And I can tell you 100% for sure that if it's another boy, I will be as over the moon as if it were a girl. If you can't say the same, then please wait until you do or look into HT.

lace congrats on your bfp hun xx

[Aussiemato2]

I thankyou all for your encouraging and supportive words.I understand all of your points. I wouldn't be unhappy with another boy,just letting go of that dream to parent a girl.(not sure if I could go on to have a fourth) Although my husband and I have somewhat agreed to maybe go HT for a girl if the third is a boy.The problem I have with HT is that you are not guaranteed a baby at the end of it let alone a specific gender,there are numerous things that can go wrong....... the potential for none of the embryos to be of the DG, or you could get the gender of choice but it or them may not stick, or even miscarriage ,even with PGD.plus having to pay for more than one cycle! I am not convinced that the financial expense outways "just a potential" chance of getting the DG! The $17,000 could go to the children I already have.even with my age my chance in one cycle is about 60% success- that's for the ivf not necessarily the PGD.I guess as a last resort it is an option.last year I was 100% all about HT until I really researched my options and outcomes.I am sure alot of ladies out there experienced it too,but as much as I want a daughter I feel my closest bond will always be with my "GD" boy! Its incrediable,I think I put it down to guilt of being "disappointed" at first! of course I love my first son the same ,but I wanted a boy first ,sorry if that sounds crazy-but I know what I mean.lol.again,Thankyou ladies I believe I have came to the right place for support and I have now decided to sway- I already paid for my personal sway plan- so wish me luck and extra pink sparkly baby dust! lol.

[LacePrincess]

Good luck for sure! And yep, you're so right, HT is no magic solution either. It definitely has drawbacks, risks, high rate of failure, and for most of us the biggest factor is the immense cost.

A difficult decision for sure, certainly. I hope you can come to a decision you can find peace with. :)

[mimi]

I think I understand how you feel. This will be our 4th and final child. So I will be happy with either gender but I think hearing boy this time will be different than any of the other times because this time there won't be a little voice in the back of my head saying "well maybe next time". There won't be a next time so if I hear boy again I will finally have to let go of my dream of a DD. So right now I can still tell myself "maybe next time" but when or if I get a bfp there will be a sense of finality. So that might be sad and that makes me afraid to try kind of.

FX to all of us for bfp's and healthy babies!

[inshaallahxx]

I'm in the same boat as you girls. Two boys and want a little girl so bad it hurts.
I know swaying is not 100% but I feel it will put the odds on my side. I also know that I will love a my little boy if that's what I have. I had GD with my second boy. I think about having a boy and it depresses me but then I look at DS2 and I realize how much I will love any child of mine boy or girl BUT I REALLY WANT A GIRL.
I know we are gong to try because I think the regret of not trying will consume me where as if I had a boy I would be disappointed but know once the baby is born I will love it dearly and I would not regret anything.
The regret of not know would be a million times. worse.
I also can not only afford going HT. So natural is the only reasonable method for us.

And like I said I know swaying isn't 100% but I would like to make my chances as high as possible

[Am3a]

Hi Aussie, I'm new here and really wish I'd found GD a couple of months ago as I wish I'd factored diet into my attempts. :-/

I am currently doing tracking through a fertility clinic, after a gf of mine with 3boys and a baby girl suggested it to me. She 100% believes she has a baby girl because of this.

Basically I have a blood test on day 2 of my cycle, day 6-7, day 10-11 and an internal scan to check for eggs, and then according to my levels, I'm guided as to when to bd to conceive a girl. Another bt day 15-16 to check I've ovulated and to test progesterone.

I'm currently in my 2ww of my 3rd cycle in 4 months. Last cycle I had a mmc.

I have 2 amazing little boys who are the loves of my life but (like most of us) feel I'm still waiting for my BFF to arrive.

Just wanted to let you know there are other options. I'm in oz too.

💗

[nuthinbutpink]

Am3a- curious- what is this method? What levels do they check? Is this a company or doctor?

[Am3a]

Hi nbp, this is a proper fertility clinic, one you would go to, to have IVF. I had to get a referral from my GP, then I had to see one of the specialists for my initial appointment and now I only deal with the nurses. This is not gender selection (it's illegal in Australia). It's just a precise tracking system. I take no medication for this. On my BT forms they test E2, P4 and LH. When I have a scan they count my follicles on both sides and measure the biggest one (coincidently, the 3 cycles I've tracked my left ovary has always had the biggest follicle).

It costs about $350 a cycle, plus initial setup costs; appt with specialist, full blood count, full internal with 3rd party specialists = $400.

Hope this helps!

[Mum3blue]

Hi Am3a - I am an Aussie as well - I am curious whether you will share the name of the clinic and where it is located. Any extra help is always welcome.

[Am3a]

www.hollywoodivf.com in Sydney and Perth. Happy to help with anymore info. 😊

[Mum3blue]

Aussiemato2 - I know exactly how you feel. I am paralyzed with fear thinking that I will have another boy if we try for 1 more. We have 3 of the most amazing boys in the world ... but I don't think I could have another - I felt my GD was so bad with the 3rd - didn't exist with the other two, although I felt sad that my first wasn't a girl - that passed very quickly. I think the hardest part is mourning the dream ... I still haven't let go of mine. I recently decided I didn't want to do HT for various reasons - but just not sure if I can even bring myself to try again.

Sorry - I don't think that there is any real advice in their other than sharing my own experience.

[Mum3blue]

Am3a - I would love to know how this works in more detail and how your gf got her girl using this method - worried though that it will hijack this post.

[Am3a]

Ok let's make a new thread... How do I do that? I'm using the app on my phone and can only reply to messages?!