Kpeanuts
April 9th, 2011, 06:20 AM
Hi all - apologies in advance for this essay!
This month is the first month TTC after my m/c in Feb, waited for a normal AF before trying again. I finally managed to do the best pink sway (that I could manage - really tried as many things as possible in comparison to the previous 12 months) in the 13 months we’ve been TTC. (I refer to ‘I’ in the sway because I didn’t get DH to do any swaying other than having to DTD as many nights as possible :wink:).
However, I now have really irrational thoughts, and anyone other than you lovely ladies on here, would probably have me sectioned!!
As I said, the sway was what I’d hoped to do, and now I’m feeling so negative that it’ll be another BFN (and I’m only 4DPO!).
I feel that because it was a sway I was actually proud of, there’s no way it’ll happen. ALSO I realised its our 13th month of TTC and we DTD on CD13. I’m not superstitious but I’m thinking OMG not brill.
Other thoughts (and totally irrational too) was that I didn’t really want a baby in December so near Christmas, so I have silly thoughts that ‘typical’ it will be due then. BUT I want a baby so much I don’t really care when it is (in my more logical moments). The one positive was that I believe you are more fertile following a m/c so I do have a tiny hope in my head somewhere.
One last niggling thing is when (sorry - IF) I get a BFN, I’ve got to go through all this swaying again next month. I think all the ph strips, rephresh, CBFM, OPK’s, BBT, CD timing, vitamins and DTD has finally haddled my brain!
Sorry for the rambling, needed to get it all out. Has anyone else had such irrational thoughts and driven themselves crazy with them??
xx
This month is the first month TTC after my m/c in Feb, waited for a normal AF before trying again. I finally managed to do the best pink sway (that I could manage - really tried as many things as possible in comparison to the previous 12 months) in the 13 months we’ve been TTC. (I refer to ‘I’ in the sway because I didn’t get DH to do any swaying other than having to DTD as many nights as possible :wink:).
However, I now have really irrational thoughts, and anyone other than you lovely ladies on here, would probably have me sectioned!!
As I said, the sway was what I’d hoped to do, and now I’m feeling so negative that it’ll be another BFN (and I’m only 4DPO!).
I feel that because it was a sway I was actually proud of, there’s no way it’ll happen. ALSO I realised its our 13th month of TTC and we DTD on CD13. I’m not superstitious but I’m thinking OMG not brill.
Other thoughts (and totally irrational too) was that I didn’t really want a baby in December so near Christmas, so I have silly thoughts that ‘typical’ it will be due then. BUT I want a baby so much I don’t really care when it is (in my more logical moments). The one positive was that I believe you are more fertile following a m/c so I do have a tiny hope in my head somewhere.
One last niggling thing is when (sorry - IF) I get a BFN, I’ve got to go through all this swaying again next month. I think all the ph strips, rephresh, CBFM, OPK’s, BBT, CD timing, vitamins and DTD has finally haddled my brain!
Sorry for the rambling, needed to get it all out. Has anyone else had such irrational thoughts and driven themselves crazy with them??
xx