The Unintentional Swayers Pop Quiz:

[meeks32]

Are you like me? Do you quiz your friends (both knowingly and unknowingly) when they get pregnant to guess what they are having, now you know about swaying?

I've written up the questions I ask, feel free to steal and use or post here to add new ones.

So far I've predicted 3/3 right for my friends, one more I am waiting to find out!



The Unintentional Swayers Pop Quiz:

Did you eat breakfast?

Did you snack through the day or eat 2-3 meals and not much between?

Did you eat meat?

Was your diet high in salt, fat and protein?

Did you eat lots of high nutrient foods like dark leafy vegetables, nuts, meat, dairy? Or high carb, simple/plain foods?

Sweet tooth or savoury for cheats?

Were you exercising? Weight training muscle building type or fat burning cardio type? How often?

Were you taking multivitamins? What and how often?

Were you taking medications? What and how often?

How often did you and your partner/husband 'do it'? Every day? Once a week? Every few days?

Were you gaining weight, loosing it, or staying the same?

Were you on any special diet or exercise program?

If you know around when you conceived, were you drinking alcohol at the time?

Do you or your partner smoke?

Did you have any fertility treatments? IVF? Clomid? Naturopathic treatment?

Do you have PCOS?

[meeks32]

Bump

[harleyquinn]

Mine is a little tongue in cheek so don't take it too serious but I am 5 for 5 now on FB friends
Is she always ball busting her DH directly or with passive aggressive comments? (I have a personal theory about your relationship with DH plays into swaying)

Is she married at all?

Do frequent statuses reflect the astonishing amount of work she has accomplished that day? Including work outs, organizing, getting miraculous stains out of the laundry

Is she always dieting

Does she always try to analyze the meaning of life (where am I going in life? type musings)

Does she have another child very close in age to the one she is pg with?

Keep in mind I know them beyond the basic FB profile but I really have been quite accurate so far ;)

[Adia]

Mine is a little tongue in cheek so don't take it too serious but I am 5 for 5 now on FB friends
Is she always ball busting her DH directly or with passive aggressive comments? (I have a personal theory about your relationship with DH plays into swaying)

Is she married at all?

Do frequent statuses reflect the astonishing amount of work she has accomplished that day? Including work outs, organizing, getting miraculous stains out of the laundry

Is she always dieting

Does she always try to analyze the meaning of life (where am I going in life? type musings)

Does she have another child very close in age to the one she is pg with?

Keep in mind I know them beyond the basic FB profile but I really have been quite accurate so far ;)

Now I'm curious...what is your theory on your relationship with DH in relation to swaying???

I will do the POP quiz tomorrow with more time, but I am a natural girl swayer so I fit the description very well!!

[harleyquinn]

Well I certainly don't want to insult anyone so feel free to correct me, throw used opk's at me or whatever! Its *just* a theory from what I have observed from an extremely small sample

The ladies who seem more at peace with the husband..meaning...getting emotional support from him consistently and affection, lots of lovey dovey type feelings maybe?? or just a sense of peace and security in the relationship, perhaps an even keeled personality of the man that doesn't cause much friction...everyone is able to think, feel, do as they wish and there is little conflict about each others actions and beliefs---and thats just a nutshell--of this type of relationship(its a very nice relationship) ~maybe girl~

Compared to husbands who are not that always that emotionally in tune, strong opinions, beat to their own drum and meanwhile wife has her own drum and they are not always in tune LOL, I think you get two of these types together (DW and DH) and ~maybe boy~

[harleyquinn]

Because husbands with all their wonderful and maddening ways DO affect how we feel on a daily basis and I don't know about anyone else, but my marriage definitely goes through an ebb and flow cycle. In some way, this may affect our hormones, I know I definitely feel different in the waxing and waning phases of our ever-constant pull and tug with this gravity we have towards each other!!! I wouldn't change it but it does make me think :) Maybe other women go through different phases (we are connected to the moon after all LOL) in their marriage and have boys or girls depending on what kind of phase their marriage is currently going through. Just a hair-brained theory;)

[Dreamofpink]

It's an interesting theory Harley! Thing is when it comes to everything but the subject of having more kids we have what you described as a 'girl' relationship. We don't see eye to eye over how many kids and ttc so you never know!! ;)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Cinss]

Interesting theory hq. I guess in my situation we had our girl first relatively quickly into our relationship when we were all lovey dovey towards each other, and our son 3 years on and the stress of ttc and swaying did drive a bit of a wedge between us, all good though but i can see what you mean.

[Goodus]

You might be on to something there Harley. Dh and I are always arguing. Not like in a mean sort of way although it annoys me no end :hair: but he has to argue on every subject! And of course I have to argue back ! And these are silly subjects like we were arguing earlier on about whether the moon affects us, or even our religious beliefs. And the way he argues is in a very argumentative way iykwim. Loud and like going to have a fight. So u think the act of arguing raises testosterone? I will have to tell him that

[meeks32]

I don't know, my husband and I don't fight hardly ever and in terms of arguing causing testosterone I can't see that for me.

Stress however, in general, is probably an indicator. But it's also subjective and less tangible to measure, and less easy to 'control' or 'wield' for swaying purposes.

Eg when I conceived ds1 I was stressed at work, although, I believe the moment I conceived was on our honeymoon so I was actually very relaxed. With ds2, ds1 was stressing me out majorly, that time I do think my t levels would have been off the chart.

[sbowman]

This is fascinating. I have to say that it is true for us. Although my husband and I have a great relationship and love each other very much...I feel like we argue constantly about stupid things, just because he likes to argue and so do I. Or maybe I just like being right. Idk. I feel like, thanks to my mother, I have a really *strong* womanly personality, like I would never let a man push me around, women can do anything men can do, etc. This is probably why I have boys. :/ I may need to work extra hard to get my testosterone down.

[meeks32]

My girlfriend who just had a girl argues with her dh constantly, and has this same personality has me. I can't see it being a factor. I think that's just everyone.

But controlling t levels by not entering arguments and keeping stress as low as possible cant hurt, to some extent that's the part we are born and raised with that we can't change.

[PolishPrincess]

I read this and went downstairs to explain it to my husband who loves to bicker and we immediately started bickering about whose fault it is that we bicker. We are just going to have to roll the dice I guess!:fight:

[Adia]

I read this and went downstairs to explain it to my husband who loves to bicker and we immediately started bickering about whose fault it is that we bicker. We are just going to have to roll the dice I guess!:fight:

That's funny!!:rofl:

[meeks32]

I read this and went downstairs to explain it to my husband who loves to bicker and we immediately started bickering about whose fault it is that we bicker. We are just going to have to roll the dice I guess!:fight:

LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

Because husbands with all their wonderful and maddening ways DO affect how we feel on a daily basis and I don't know about anyone else, but my marriage definitely goes through an ebb and flow cycle. In some way, this may affect our hormones, I know I definitely feel different in the waxing and waning phases of our ever-constant pull and tug with this gravity we have towards each other!!! I wouldn't change it but it does make me think :) Maybe other women go through different phases (we are connected to the moon after all LOL) in their marriage and have boys or girls depending on what kind of phase their marriage is currently going through. Just a hair-brained theory;)
or it could be two people with plenty o testosterone between them makes sparks fly and also more boys lol

[atomic sagebrush]

brilliant quiz Meeks!! I love it!!

[greeneyes]

Bwahahahaha!! Damn, I'm currently forever going to have boys! LOL. My ex and I totally fit your girl prediction and we had 3 girls. My dh drives me batty half the time and we hav 2 boys. :p

[BabyGirl4Me]

If bickering with your partner was what determined gender my DH's step mom would have a house full of boys. As it is, she has all girls (of course) and DH and I actually enjoy each other's company and rarely have disagreements over things and we have a boy. :(

[inshaallahxx]

While I don't remember fighting with my husband or first baby's dad when I got pregnant, I have always been hard headed, competitive and VERY VERY dominant.

[HopefulMonster]

Hmmn could it be because of a sense of enpowerment from arguing with DH? I'm a big believer in that it's not the act (in this case argueing) it's the way the act makes the woman feel.

If you argue with dh and feel unheard, victimised, hurt, powerless or whatever, then that would sway pink, where as if you argue and win, or at least feel like your point was heard and your opinion has been heard, then that would sway blue. Meaning that the same situation would sway differently for different women, but essentially for the same reasons. That's what I think anyway!

[Thorz300]

Hmmm interesting, my sister is the most stubborn, hard headed, argumentative, control freak I've ever met, and she has 4 girls and no boys! She fights with her DH all the time!

[4devochki]

Hmmm interesting, my sister is the most stubborn, hard headed, argumentative, control freak I've ever met, and she has 4 girls and no boys! She fights with her DH all the time!

Funny, you don't look like my sister. And she lives in Denver.

[meeks32]

Hmmm interesting, my sister is the most stubborn, hard headed, argumentative, control freak I've ever met, and she has 4 girls and no boys! She fights with her DH all the time!

Yep I'm not buying this arguing/mood sways stuff at all. Not sure how the thread ended up on this topic. I agree with atomic, it's about diet, maternal condition, sperm count (via frequency) etc. diet lowers t production, and sure a stressful job or fighting at home will raise t, but it's different for everyone and totally immeasurable and often out of our control. Lets focus on what we CAN do and measure.

[harleyquinn]

Not to split hairs or be obsessive or grinding or anything ;) BUT have you read about the maternal dominance theory?

I'm not quite sure we CAN measure maternal condition, personally. I"m not quite sure we CAN measure sperm count either. (not in my kitchen anyway) I'm not quite sure testosterone has to do with anythiing at all...unless it is related to cortisol etc and how they all interact TOGETHER and for your individual chemistry..throw blood sugar in there as a cause and effect of stress/cortisol. Prob diff for EVERY person, so thats why swaying will never be a sure thing.

What we CAN measure is how interactions with others (ie a husband who you HAVE to see every day;) ) *possibly* can affect all the above^ factors by looking at your responses and state of being/mind by this person who is constantly there. Even possibly the environment in which you were raised, can affect your coping skills and thus how you respond to stress as an adult.

[meeks32]

Not to split hairs or be obsessive or grinding or anything ;) BUT have you read about the maternal dominance theory?

I'm not quite sure we CAN measure maternal condition, personally. I"m not quite sure we CAN measure sperm count either. (not in my kitchen anyway) I'm not quite sure testosterone has to do with anythiing at all...unless it is related to cortisol etc and how they all interact TOGETHER and for your individual chemistry..throw blood sugar in there as a cause and effect of stress/cortisol. Prob diff for EVERY person, so thats why swaying will never be a sure thing.

What we CAN measure is how interactions with others (ie a husband who you HAVE to see every day;) ) *possibly* can affect all the above^ factors by looking at your responses and state of being/mind by this person who is constantly there. Even possibly the environment in which you were raised, can affect your coping skills and thus how you respond to stress as an adult.

I have, yes. Thing is, if maternal dominance and what you point out is true, I have two thoughts.

1. I'll have boys no matter what because I am a decision maker and highly organised etc, this probably makes me quite dominant. I will never change this so why sway?
2. Even assuming I'm not just naturally dominant, I never fight with my husband, ever, he makes me laugh and is such a complimentary opposite, I can't see how this theory would lead me to having boys.

My point was more the things I can change easily like diet and frequency and overall fertility or chances of conception are what I'm banking on. Not just because I believe atomic is right about them and the theories behind them, but because those are the things I was radically boy friendly on when I conceived ds 1 and 2.

But everyone is different.

This thread was supposed to just be me posting my swaying pop quiz for people to use and try out on their pregnant friends to see how accurate some of these theories may be. Mainly for fun. Also for people to add in questions to make the quiz even better. No idea how we got onto a swaying theory debate. ;-)

[harleyquinn]

I don't see it as a debate at all...I see sharing experiences as improving information for all. :)

This WAS part of my pop quiz, because MAN...it has held true for FB friends but maybe there is something subconcious I am basing it on...but I really do great predictions based on personality alone.

I think YOU, have a complimentary opposite in a husband says alot...it completely supports my theory. (not debating hon :) )

And yes, I am totally with you on actually DOING what we can to sway...ie the diet, lower sperm count, change our hormones...but it can't hurt to change as well the way you respond to life circumstances. Thats why I think if you are suddenly overwhelmed in life (ie AS sway) you kinda change *who* you are. Thats why people spend so much energy trying to relax during a girl sway...if you aren't charged up all the time (ummm due to that fiance we married long ago LOL), it can help.

Idk...I have done the declined maternal condition(for 2 boys conceived at 95pounds), low PH, my husband has lower sperm count due to varicole, I have no signs of high testosterone...I can't help but wonder what else is at play here.

SO just keep the marital relationship in the pop quiz just for my sake and my streak of boys...LOL :)

[Goodus]

I have been asking girl mums what they eat and one told me she usually eats a plate of broccoli if she cooks meat for her family. She also like coffee, chocolates and red wine.

A boy mum and co worker snacks all the time lol although she admits to smoking.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hmmn could it be because of a sense of enpowerment from arguing with DH? I'm a big believer in that it's not the act (in this case argueing) it's the way the act makes the woman feel.

If you argue with dh and feel unheard, victimised, hurt, powerless or whatever, then that would sway pink, where as if you argue and win, or at least feel like your point was heard and your opinion has been heard, then that would sway blue. Meaning that the same situation would sway differently for different women, but essentially for the same reasons. That's what I think anyway!

this was true for me :agree: I was actually kinda scared by DH a few times right before we got our DD. :s (not that I recommend it)

[atomic sagebrush]

I think it has to go beyond just maternal condition because there are women who eat the exact same thing and have diff. genders - and there are women who weigh 85 lbs and have boys. Plus, I've talked with scads of people with all boys and all girls and even tho I can't describe it exactly *and won't try because people get offended* there is something there. Exceptions on both sides but there is something there. It is NOT that boy moms are bitchy and mannish and NOT that girl moms are weak or milksops. Not at all.

And I think it also has to go beyond maternal dominance because I know some women who are large and in charge and have all/mostly girls, who are living on Craisins and iceberg lettuce, including my mother who is kind of a bada$$.

[BabyGirl4Me]

I think it has to go beyond just maternal condition because there are women who eat the exact same thing and have diff. genders - and there are women who weigh 85 lbs and have boys. Plus, I've talked with scads of people with all boys and all girls and even tho I can't describe it exactly *and won't try because people get offended* there is something there. Exceptions on both sides but there is something there. It is NOT that boy moms are bitchy and mannish and NOT that girl moms are weak or milksops. Not at all.

And I think it also has to go beyond maternal dominance because I know some women who are large and in charge and have all/mostly girls, who are living on Craisins and iceberg lettuce, including my mother who is kind of a bada$$.

Atomic, for those people who fit the all boy mom profile or all girl mom profile, are they the ones who can conceive the opposite gender or do these people sway sway sway their hearts out and still get all of the same gender??:nails:

[atomic sagebrush]

I absolutely, totally, 100% believe that every person can conceive a child of either gender or else I wouldn't be doing this. All swaying is, is a way to hopefully up the odds that it happens sooner, and not later - if we were willing to "Duggar it out" we'd all get an opposite eventually, but most of us don't want to do that.

Read this set of essays http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/25293-three-essays-swaying.html People get pissed at me for shooting down the "magic bullet-light switch" paradigm of swaying, but the thing of it is, if swaying cannot be 100% and it does come down to some extent to luck, that's GOOD. Even tho we can't be guaranteed a baby of a certain gender from magic pink pills, it also meant that no one is doomed to only conceive boys from now until forever. It can happen for EVERYONE and will happen for most...swaying or no.

[BabyGirl4Me]

Even tho we can't be guaranteed a baby of a certain gender from magic pink pills, it also meant that no one is doomed to only conceive boys from now until forever. It can happen for EVERYONE and will happen for most...swaying or no.

I've been spending most of this past week second guessing myself and today I was thinking about throwing all the work I've done away and forgetting about TTC totally but this, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks Atomic. :HH:

[meeks32]

Urgh ok so now it's time for me to admit why I can't buy into the emotional sway side of things.

I am dominant, opinionated, in charge of the household, organised and often VERY stressed, overwhelmed or made to play bad cop/alpha mum to my two very full on boys. I find myself trying to be calm and echo the 'girl sway' emotional philosophy then a day later I'm finding myself snapping at my eldest for endangering the youngest, or wanting to yell at him (I don't, but I want to) for crashing, breaking, whinging his way though the day). Of course as any normal mum I am almost always fair and calm on the outside but I am often stressed or tense on the inside and wild with anger sometimes (also on the inside) because my eldest is so difficult and relentless. He's also beautiful and one of the best things I ever did, don't get me wrong, but I do stress and feel 'boy friendly' emotions and reactions constantly, that I feel I can't control no matter how hard I try.

This just makes me want to give up.

Here I was thinking I could ignore that side of swaying (after many months failing to change my behaviour) but I can't! Thing is, when I conceived ds1 I had very few of those emotions and stresses, and with ds2 I was on a high after having a near miss serious health issue I felt I had a second lease of life. So if anything back then I was as 'girl friendly' as my personality type will ever be, and now I'm far more boy friendly.

Sigh

[harleyquinn]

Meeks (hugs) to you lady.

I totally understand and if anything, giving up will move you in the right direction but not giving in, if that makes sense.

I will respond to this more if I can when I have time, but I know AS will have better advice than me. :)

There is no such thing as boy friendly emotions. Those are mom emotions. I could write a book on this! I do however think there may be a tie in being emotionally "in tune" but that treads on what some get upset about. It isn't just your husband. Its anyone. The hubby is just THERE, so the easiest one to point a finger at and maybe rightfully so in *some* cases.

You conceived DS2 in an emotional high and well being...I conceived 2 in declined maternal condition (but a total bitch tbh) so...I dunno..no magic bullet here in how we are supposed to act, weigh, behave, eat, have sex, buffer our vg's, drink alcohol, smoke, not smoke, take vitex, douche, beg for clomid, etc etc etc

All you can do, is look at yourself and see what fits. xx I am a TOTAL fan of the nuts and bolts sway...just lower the sperm count and do one attempt and use the mechanical methods of swaying if changing who you *are* is just not possible. Swaying is not meant to mess with anyone's head, in my firm opinion (imfo) LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

Meeks, my DS 3 is a human dynamo and absolutely just the same as your DS 1 is, and probably to a factor of 10. Then my DS 4 idolizes him and even tho by nature he's more laid back, he follows in his brother's footsteps - day in and day out it is like a long parade of destruction and tantrums and whingeing and breaking up physical confrontations and hours long arguments regarding socks and chewing gum. I am ALWAYS in the midst of a hurricane of emotions and every day feels like a constant battle between the forces of boyness and the forces of Kristin LOL. but I still got DD in the end despite this. We ALL can get DD. I don't mean to make anyone feel discouraged at all, that is not at all my intent.

But I have to explain for people why it is that 85 lb people can get boys and why women with Masters Degrees have more boys - it CAN'T just be diet, KWIM??

I do not think that being upset and stressed out = boy friendly emotions. I really, really don't. Successes and overcoming challenges DOES sway boy, but being constantly under assault from stress (even if it comes in a tiny and adorable package), over time your body kind of gets tired out and you just can't make the superhigh levels of hormones any more. That's actually GOOD for your pink sway.

[atomic sagebrush]

You CAN'T change your personality for swaying. That's why I hesitate to even bring it up, because I think we shoudl focus on what we can change instead.

Don't take up tae kwon do, don't enter a beauty pageant, don't run for president of the PTA or take Fluffy to the dog show (altho JJ got her DD while running for office!!) but aside from that, DON'T sweat that which you cannot change. :)

[meeks32]

You CAN'T change your personality for swaying. That's why I hesitate to even bring it up, because I think we shoudl focus on what we can change instead.

Don't take up tae kwon do, don't enter a beauty pageant, don't run for president of the PTA or take Fluffy to the dog show (altho JJ got her DD while running for office!!) but aside from that, DON'T sweat that which you cannot change. :)

That's exactly what I was trying to say but better. That was/is my approach because I don't feel I can change my personality. But no I'm not running for president right now, *smile. Or beauty pageants (not that I would anyway) but ds1 made sure of that by giving me the worlds biggest stretch marks. Scratch that, craters. Nowhere except my tummy. It's a constant source of poor body image for me but I'm over it! At least I can't get any worse with more kids, since number 1 did such a good job of wrecking me!!!

[PolishPrincess]

I don't know Atomic, me in a beauty pageant? That's kind of a slam dunk! :rofl:

[atomic sagebrush]

:) :) :)

[meeks32]

I'm supposed to be off peeing on an opk, but couldn't resist logging back on to share some more life-affirming sway info, to help motivate us long-termers... Yet another girlfriend who I did my little swaying pop quiz on just had her 20 week scan and confirmed my prediction she's having a boy!

Seriously, if she was having a girl I was going to die. She had the most boy friendly diet and lifestyle ever, yet she was convinced she was having a girl. I was convinced it was a boy with every fibre of my being.

Its her 2nd bub, and she didn't care either way, she just thought it was a girl. So i'm not condemning her or gloating in her 'failure' or anything. But I love a little perk up when my conviction for swaying wavers or when i'm having a tough diet day.

But anyway, keep swaying ladies, it works, it so works! This is 4/4 recent girl predictions that have confirmed GD swaying so far! I used parts of the pop quiz on her.