32 week u/s on Monday ... any chance the penis has vanished?

[mummypink]

After finding out at my 18 week scan that we are expecting our 3rd boy I've experienced a huge array of emotions.
Joy and amazement seeing our little baby on the u/s for the first time, relief that everything looked good... followed by what I can only describe as grief that I'm not expecting the daughter I hoped and prayed for so hard.

Of course with that comes guilt at what a horrible person I must be not to be over the moon to be expecting another baby. Anger with myself for being so selfish, jealousy and sadness when I see other mums with their daughters. Finally I've been getting my head around it, choosing a name for him helped a lot. Imagining my three boys as they grow up together, and thinking about how special that is going to be.

Now I have another routine u/s on Monday, my 32 week one. All of a sudden I'm obsessed with searching the net again for incorrect gender guesses. I was supposed to be ordering some sleepsuits etc this week but can't bring myself to press the order button just in case there is even the tiniest possibility on Monday I'm going to be told the last tech was an idiot and got it completely wrong.

With my rational head on I know this is never going to happen, I never saw a potty shot but the tech was certain and from the profile shot I was given all the techs and experienced people on here are certain it is a boy.
I wish I could just stop torturing myself. :rolleyes:

I'm hoping that this scan will be kind of therapy for me, I'll see definite evidence that even I can clearly see so that I can get on and prepare for this little mans arrival. I know that as soon as he arrives I will absolutely love him to pieces and not want to swap him for anything. But right now it is still so hard.

Everyone around me seems to be having baby girls, I never imagined I wouldn't have a daughter one day. Life doesn't always give us what we want, I know. I have another friend who struggled for years with fertility to even have one baby, and has been trying for 2 years to provide a sibling. I keep trying to put myself in her shoes and give myself a serious kick up the backside. I have two beautiful healthy little boys, and I pray I am lucky enough for this little one to be healthy too. So why can't I let the gender thing go?

My dh would happily have another after this, I kind of feel like there isn't any point as it will most likely be another boy. I wouldn't be having another to have a baby, I'd be doing it to have a daughter.
HT is out of the question, we couldn't afford it and it isn't something I would want to purse to be honest.

So I'm left praying for one of three things, that by some miracle I'm actually expecting a girl, or by another miracle I'm expecting twins and the girl has been hiding behind her brother, or failing both of those miracles please may my gd disappear so I can enjoy my beautiful family without the ache in my heart for a daughter.


Sorry for the ramble. xx

[mimi]

I am so sorry. I have 3 little boys myself and I know how you feel. I have 2 sisters. One of them has 4 DDs and the other has 1 child, also a DD. All my friend have DDs. My husbands friend told me just yesterday that he and his GF are expecting their 2nd DD. I am so jealous of them and I feel guilty that I am jealous. I also try to tell myself that I should feel blessed with what I have since so many women out there would be over the moon to be able to have a child at all.

I don't think we are bad people though. I think of it this way. I am not unhappy with any of my DSs. I love them to death. But since I was little I always daydreamed about my future kids and there was always a DD in that picture. So its almost like when I had GD I wasn,t sad that I was having boys. I was mourning the DD that I was never going to have if that makes sense.

I have known 2 women who had incorrect 20 wk scans on gender (my DH was supposed to be a girl! Lol. But that was 27 years ago). My mom was also told my younger sisters (they are twins) were boys at 19 weeks and they of course were girls. That was 22 years ago. I guess my point is, I'm sure incorrect gender scans do happen but with the new ultrasound technology, I wouldn't get myect y hopes up. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I am worried about how it will effect you if you do.

I will be thinking of you and hope you find peace. I'm sorry I don't have more to say or some magical bit of wisdom that can help you. I just want you know that you are not alone and that you are not selfish or hateful for feeling this way.

Congratulations on your little one.

[tanyagirl]

girls I hear where you are coming from I too have three boys and in the same sitution as you all , I too don`t mourn having boys at all I love them to bits I just mourn not ever having a girl just one . With my last ds I am totally happy with him but just would of loved him to of had a little girl friend come along for the ride. I too have to battle this all my friends atm are around me popping out having girls a close friend the other day that she is having a girl caused terrrible GD flare ups they are just awful. I don`t think we are horrible just human its natural to wan`t to parent a female child , to the op I really hope they got it wrong at the scan I really do and if not I hope the GD does fade for you but don`t beat your self up if you have some I think it is all pretty natural thing for us mums that have all of one gender xxx

[Claire33]

I am also pregnant with my 3rd boy. I saw his "equipment" myself on the scan, so I am not in doubt that it is a boy. It's so difficult, I wish this GD would go away, it's horrible. However, I have to find a way to cope and be positive for this little one. He will after all be my child and I will love him with all my heart.

I would advise you to try to prepare to see a boy on your scan, rather than hope for a girl. The chances it's a girl are really very minimal. If you're having a 3D scan, try and focus on his face, what he'll look like etc. so that it's a positive experience for you.

[mummypink]

Thanks for all your reassurance lovely ladies, I'm so sorry so many of us are going through the same thing. I am so glad I found this site though otherwise I would be feeling so alone right now.

Yep, I am certain I will get confirmation it is a boy, it is just that niggle of doubt driving me crazy. So I'm actually not so worried about how I will feel after the scan as I think it is actually what I need to accept it is a boy.

It is a 2d scan, but I'm always amazed just seeing the baby on the screen. xxx

[mummypink]

Just wanted to update to say I had my scan today and it was absolutely amazing. Pretty much 100% that it is our 3rd boy, he was curled up tight so we couldn't see his willy but we could see his scrotum so I've accepted it is def a boy. We got some fantastic pictures, including close ups of his face and I am just so in love!

I was worried that I would come out of the scan today feeling the same sadness I felt after my first one, but I'm really pleased to say that I just felt overjoyed that our little man is looking happy and healthy. I hope that gives some of you hope that are feeling so low about not getting your dg right now. I know how horrible it is, and even though I am pretty certain this is our last baby I am keeping the option open that maybe one day we will have one more and perhaps it will be the daughter I've been dreaming about.

For now, despite all the swaying etc this little boy has decided he wants to be part of our family so he must be meant to be. I cannot wait to meet him, see what he looks like, find out what personality he has. I'm totally in love with him already. xxxx

[lisvna]

Amen! You go girl!

[Adia]

Honestly, I was in a lousy slump after finding out DD3 was indeed, my 3rd girl and not the boy I was longing for. I did the internet searching for incorrect u/s too.

I PROMISE, PROMISE, PROMISE it will be getter when that little monkey is in your arms. The things that changes is when you hold that baby they are all yours and they need you so much. Does that mean gender desire will go away, no, but it will be a separate set of emotions that does not involve you new baby.

Hugs honey, I know EXACTLY how you feel!!

[Gimmeapinkone]

I was devastated when we found out we were expecting DS #3. He is now 10 months old and we can't imagine life without him.

Enjoy your new little blue bundle when he makes his appearance!

[hopingforsaskia]

After finding out at my 18 week scan that we are expecting our 3rd boy I've experienced a huge array of emotions.
Joy and amazement seeing our little baby on the u/s for the first time, relief that everything looked good... followed by what I can only describe as grief that I'm not expecting the daughter I hoped and prayed for so hard.

Of course with that comes guilt at what a horrible person I must be not to be over the moon to be expecting another baby. Anger with myself for being so selfish, jealousy and sadness when I see other mums with their daughters. Finally I've been getting my head around it, choosing a name for him helped a lot. Imagining my three boys as they grow up together, and thinking about how special that is going to be.

Now I have another routine u/s on Monday, my 32 week one. All of a sudden I'm obsessed with searching the net again for incorrect gender guesses. I was supposed to be ordering some sleepsuits etc this week but can't bring myself to press the order button just in case there is even the tiniest possibility on Monday I'm going to be told the last tech was an idiot and got it completely wrong.

With my rational head on I know this is never going to happen, I never saw a potty shot but the tech was certain and from the profile shot I was given all the techs and experienced people on here are certain it is a boy.
I wish I could just stop torturing myself. :rolleyes:

I'm hoping that this scan will be kind of therapy for me, I'll see definite evidence that even I can clearly see so that I can get on and prepare for this little mans arrival. I know that as soon as he arrives I will absolutely love him to pieces and not want to swap him for anything. But right now it is still so hard.

Everyone around me seems to be having baby girls, I never imagined I wouldn't have a daughter one day. Life doesn't always give us what we want, I know. I have another friend who struggled for years with fertility to even have one baby, and has been trying for 2 years to provide a sibling. I keep trying to put myself in her shoes and give myself a serious kick up the backside. I have two beautiful healthy little boys, and I pray I am lucky enough for this little one to be healthy too. So why can't I let the gender thing go?

My dh would happily have another after this, I kind of feel like there isn't any point as it will most likely be another boy. I wouldn't be having another to have a baby, I'd be doing it to have a daughter.
HT is out of the question, we couldn't afford it and it isn't something I would want to purse to be honest.

So I'm left praying for one of three things, that by some miracle I'm actually expecting a girl, or by another miracle I'm expecting twins and the girl has been hiding behind her brother, or failing both of those miracles please may my gd disappear so I can enjoy my beautiful family without the ache in my heart for a daughter.


Sorry for the ramble. xx

You have written almost exactly what I feel. I just recently had my morph scan and was told boy (even though, like you, I didn't see it as such) so ill be visiting my iridologist to confirm one way or the other.

My feelings of girl were (still are) SO SO strong. I know that the likeliness of it being a girl after all is slim to none, but I can't help but hope for a miracle.

Sending lots of hugs to you friend. I know exactly how you are feeling. :(

[mummypink]

Thanks Hoping, my fingers are firmly crossed for you that you get told girl at your next scan. I'm due any time now and I am seriously excited about meeting our new man, our family isn't going to be what I originally planned but I know he is going to be an amazing addition and one I will never regret.

I promise you will feel the same if you have it confirmed you are having a boy, you just have to get through all the horrid gd feelings first. Hugs xxxx