A Little Sad Right Now!!!

[purplepoet20]

First, I am not very close to my dad, he acts more like an uncle to me then a dad. I don't expect much from him but when I do talk to him I hope he would listen, be supportive, and be happy for me... Quick Life Brief...

I am the 2nd oldest and have 2 younger sister. Growing up with a lot of kids is hard but what I really wanted to hear most was "Piper I love you" all I ever heard was "I love my kids" but he would tell my brother (C) and 2 sister (M and J) that he loved them and direct it to just them.

I tried my best to impress him and wished he would say he was proud of me. I can sing, write stories and poetry, sew clothing, cross-stitch, and I am good at guess the ingredents of resturant food and copy it at home. But my dad doesn't know any of this because he is never there for me. He missed every school/church chore preformance but made it to my bro (C) and sister (M), and told them how well they did and they could become a singer. The only time he read a poem of mine (about him) he sad it was to sad and he didn't want to read my other poems, no "you are great" "you could get it published" "my child is so talented".

And DS2 middle name is my dads first name but yet at 14mths old DS2 has never met my dad. My dad travels to WV every 2 mths to see my bro and his family but has never come here and I am a 5hr drive.

....

He is the only one (other then hubby and a close friend) that knows about us swaying and even trying for #3. I told him in hopes of having someone to talk too. Someone to be excited with. Someone to say go for it you can do it. But you know what he said yesterday after he asked how everything was going with the research... "you will get another boy" not once did he say I hope you get a girl, or anything that was supportive... I guess it is my fault for once again trying to be close to him and looking to him for support.

I haven't seen my mom in 5 years, my sisters are to selfish to care, my brother has 2G and 1B so he wouldn't understand, and I don't want to tell my mom-in-law because she would get her hopes up and I don't want to hurt her if it is another boy.

I just wanted my dad to be my dad. I feel like he killed my girl :SS:

[Flava]

:hugs: don't be sad! Just because he said that it's not true! You can have a girl for sure!!
And honestly I would not even talk to him. (but it's just me so don't get angry at me )
I just think he don't deserve all this caring from you. He didn't even saw your baby wht?

[ELP]

Firstly, WOW!, I'm rubbish at all the things listed:) And seondly thats sad that he shows no interest:( r the rest of your family for that matter. I know it's not real life but your in the right place now and evryone will be excited and routing for you here:) Real life families can be an utter let down sometimes xx

[purplepoet20]

We are going to Cali next mth so I can get at least one picture of him with DS2... he met DS1 when he was 2mths old and 12mths and not since.

We decided this time to not stay with my dad so we are going to San Diego to spend a week at the beach and a day at the zoo. We will see my dad for a little bit and then he can drive to see us if he wants. The trip is for us to relax and for the boys to have fun.

[mindyjean]

I can relate because my dad and I are not close, and I miss having that relationship in my life. We actually haven't seen each other for over 4 years now, he has never met my second son (lives about 30 minutes away).

I can also relate to the swaying non-support. We haven't told a single soul we are going to sway. We haven't even told many people we would like a 3rd child---but my mom feels the need to always tell me that two kids is enough. "She" only had 2 kids, so therefore everyone else in the world should do the same. It makes me feel like she won't love a 3rd grandchild? And she is such a wonderful grandma to my 2 sons that I don't understand where it comes from.

Don't let his words upset you--be strong and stay positive about your sway!!!!! Parents have such a huge influence on our lives, but don't give him your happiness. :(

[purplepoet20]

My mom-in-law told her husband that she wants more grandkids.... she didn't know I was listening. She only had 1 baby and has 1 step-granddaughter and she stepped in as a grandma (for her neice/goddaughter kids) after her sister passed. But she is a great grandma to my boys... DS1 says he is grandmas boy and never says mama/dada boy. He sleeps with her when she/we visit each others house, she lives in Las Vegas.

I want to tell her so bad that we are trying for #3 but I really want to surprise her with the US gender picture.

[purplepoet20]

I am feeling better, after talking to hubby... He said that all this will make me stronger and I will be a better parent because of it.

Thank you for the comments. It is nice to have sisters in swaying :)

[1pinkwish]

I can relate cause my dad has NEVER been there for me either. I would always do things like you described where I would try to give him another chance to show me he loved me, but it always gave him the chance the let me down yet again. I finally got over that and now let the relationship be what it will be. He gets out what puts in and nothing more. It's sad! It's not what I wanted, but it's what I got. But, I let my expectations of my dream "dad" go so that I could finally stop letting him hurt me over and over again for not being the person that I wanted him to be. And I am better off for that!

Anyway, now about your next baby... Believe me, when I tell you that NO ONE knows what your baby will be and your chances are as good as anyone elses that you will have a girl one day too!

This last pregnancy, I didn't find out what I was having until birth. And everyone that commented on gender told me I had no chance of a girl. DH told me (AFTER our baby was born) that his brother had sent him an article the day after we announced we were pregnant showing the odds of have an opposite after 3 of a kind were so low, and he added the comment "Don't go shopping for pink yet." Thankfully, dh didn't tell me about that while I was preggo or it would have really bothered me then. I had people telling me my belly looked ALL BOY (I think I even made a post about that here! LOL) And no one would give me any hope at all it seemed that I might possibly ever have a daughter. But, SHE is here today, 6 weeks old already!!! ALL GIRL!!! And shocked quite a few people!!!

It can and does happen! Try not to let him get you down. I don't know what his motivations are of telling you that--selfish or protective, but your dream is still alive!! I wasted a lot of time focusing on those negative comments that I could have spent just enjoying being preggo. Don't make my same mistake if you can help it! GL!!! Sending you any PINK DUST I might have left-over!! I got a tubal this time, so I won't be needing any more baby dust! LOL

[My Fabulous Children]

WOw ... I am so sorry Hun, but don't be sad :hugs: you will get your girl. This site is a great place to learn. I wouldn't share anything with him again or even talk with him, but that's just me please don't get me wrong- anyone who doesn't care about me I won't care about them either EVEN if it was my dad.

[Hobbermittens]

You deserve better than that! He should be more supportive. I can't believe he hasn't even met his own grandson and you are living so close!

Don't listen to what he said about your sway. He has no idea what he is talking about! You can get your girl! I am sorry that your dad isn't taking it seriously.

[LolaInLove]

I totally agree with all the comments above. It's always such a shame when parents don't give you their best, but that is the reality for a zillion people, I'm sure. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, hun. But YES, you can make a daughter and WE are all here for you so you know you've got a lot of virtual shoulders to cry, ears to listen, and cheerleaders to encourage you along. :HH: