Am I the only who gets so jealous of others who get a daughter?

[retrolove1]

Hi

Would be nice to hear that I'm not the one who gets jealous from others happiness.

I feel very mean and guilty for it. Good friends of mine first got the son they wanted and have just found out they are expecting a daughter now. I was happy for them but at the same time I kind of resented them and didn't like them for a bit. I know it's silly but I can't help it.
When I find out friends and family are expecting I want them to have sons only because that's all I have.

I'm rubbish at swaying and just can't eat hardly nothing. I don't know what supplements me and DP should be taking. I think I am feeling that what ever I do isn't going to work and I will never have a daughter.

I do really love my boys, it's the thought of never having a daughter that gets me upset.

[HopeandDreamG]

You are in the right place. We have all felt the same. This is a great place to vent and get good info. If its easier there are sway plans specifically tailored to you that you can purchase. this is a great option if you don't feel like doing the leg work. You sound kinda deflated so think this could b a great option for you.
Good luck

Oh, and to sway you can eat a reasonable amount of calories. It's not hardly anything. There are great diet/food/meal ideas in the members section on ttc girl

[inshaallahxx]

I'm the exact same way! Every one around me is having girls or has their boy, girl pair. It doesn't help that two girls I'm not too found of just had a girls and found out she is having a girl. (this burns me inside). I try so hard to just change myself so I don't feel ugly. For example those girls I don't like I tell myself that I'm happy for them and they deserve happiness too, they also deserve their girls. I also sit and tell myself why all these girls that are having girls are blessed, I'm just as blessed if not more because I have two boys that are obsessed with me, a husband that is head over heels in love with me, and a beautiful stable family. A lot of these girls I know don't have this. Which I pray one day they will but why am I so down and jealous if I'm blessed with so much to be happy with.
I'm literally am crying as I type this. I pray all day that I'm blessed with a girl but I think I'm suffering GD before I even tried to get pregnant. I trying to come to terms that I will never have my girl.
I'm scared to let myself want a girl so bad. But I'm also scared that if I conveince myself it will be a boy but then feel that I will give myself that if I keep thinking that. (I'm a big fan of THE SECRET, if any one knows what that is, pretty much the law of attraction.) So then I think I need to just picture myself with a little girl and truly believe I will have her next but once again I get scared to let myself want it so bad.
I hate being jealous of others it's a horrible feeling. I guess all I can do is pray!

[inshaallahxx]

When I find out friends and family are expecting I want them to have sons only because that's all I have.


I do really love my boys, it's the thought of never having a daughter that gets me upset.


I feel the exact same way :tissue::tissue:

[PolishPrincess]

Within the three years that I had my third boy there were seven friends and family members I know that started out with two boys and went on to have a girl. I a was literally the only one out of eight to have a boy. I don't know if this is a comfort to you but as much as I still long to have a daughter the jelousy has greatly subsided for me. I do want a daughter badly but (I know this is going to sound hokey) I don't want THEIR daughter I want MY daughter so I remind myself that either I am going to have my DD or she never was meant to be but either way no one on this planet is raising MY daughter so there less to be jelous about. I know that is weird thinking but if you knew me IRL...I'm just a weird gal I guess. God Bless and I hope you find comfort on this site and from those around you, no one should have to suffer in pain alone and on here you are not alone!!!:hug2:

[retrolove1]

Thank you for the replies.

HopeanddreamG- I would like purchase the personalised plan but DP isn't too sure about it. I can do a good sway (if doing it correct) during the week but at the weekend I snack too much.

Inshallah- I'm glad I'm not the only one. I feel exactly the same. When are you going to TTC? I also find that some family's seen to already have it all and still get their girl. I have booked myself in with a psychic too. Saw a psychic 2 years ago who said I will have a girl so want to see if a different person will say the same. Not sure if I believe in that or not but at the moment will try anything.

Polishprincess- thank you and you are right. Did your GD going away or are you swaying towards a girl currently? Did you sway on your previous pregnancies?

Xx

[pink carol]

Hi, retrolove!
Don't feel guilty, don't feel ashamed! All swayers for either sex have been in the jealousy spot and like the other girls said, this is the ideal place to vent your feelings.
I have been cured of the "girl" jealousy the hard way.
I have a six-year-old boy and last July I lost a five-month pregnancy with DS #2. I had to deliver him stillborn.
I thought the moment I learnt he was a boy was the unhappiest day in my life, till I found that the unhappiest day in my life was the day I was announced I had lost him. Since then, I am not swaying anymore. We want to begin our attempt in about two weeks and I can wholeheartedly assure you that I'll be ecstatic if I can welcome a healthy boy that is born and lives and is healthy.
I can no longer understand why I found girls so much nicer than boys. Ever since this devastating loss, I have taken more to boys and almost hate myself for ever thinking that I would have loved a girl more than the tiny angel I lost.
I am no longer jealous of my all-girl friends. I appreciate the fact that I have one lovely boy and have learnt to appreciate the sweetness and uncomplication of boys. I have not gone to the point of saying that I would not welcome a girl, on the opposite. I have learnt not to have expectations about a baby and rather appreciate the enormous privilege of being granted the blessing of carrying a life in your womb, especially since getting pregnant has been an uphill journey for me. The last three years I have had two miscarriages, a molar pregnancy and a stillbirth.
I think your secret yearning is quite legitimate, but when you have been in my place you sober up and really appreciate whatever gender your baby is.
Me for one, I would give all the girls in the world not to have lost my little boy.
I just wanted to share my experience with you. But till seven months back, I remember I was so jealous of my friends with girls that I could hardly stand meeting them. I swooned at the sight of Hello Kitty things and pretty girls in pink. I could hardly take girls off my head!

[retrolove1]

Thank you for your reply Pink carol.

That is why I feel so guilty for resenting people with girls because I'm am extremely lucky to have two healthy boys and I am very pleased that they have had a healthy baby.

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you had to go through and I so hope that you have a healthy and happy pregnancy.

I hope my GD will go once I've had DS3 (TTC in April) I guess it's still the fact that I may have a daughter at some point that keeps me GD instead of moving forward.

Xx

[Bigwish]

I feel the exact same way :tissue::tissue:

Me too! Exactly the same feelings!

[Bigwish]

Hi, retrolove!
Don't feel guilty, don't feel ashamed! All swayers for either sex have been in the jealousy spot and like the other girls said, this is the ideal place to vent your feelings.
I have been cured of the "girl" jealousy the hard way.
I have a six-year-old boy and last July I lost a five-month pregnancy with DS #2. I had to deliver him stillborn.
I thought the moment I learnt he was a boy was the unhappiest day in my life, till I found that the unhappiest day in my life was the day I was announced I had lost him. Since then, I am not swaying anymore. We want to begin our attempt in about two weeks and I can wholeheartedly assure you that I'll be ecstatic if I can welcome a healthy boy that is born and lives and is healthy.
I can no longer understand why I found girls so much nicer than boys. Ever since this devastating loss, I have taken more to boys and almost hate myself for ever thinking that I would have loved a girl more than the tiny angel I lost.
I am no longer jealous of my all-girl friends. I appreciate the fact that I have one lovely boy and have learnt to appreciate the sweetness and uncomplication of boys. I have not gone to the point of saying that I would not welcome a girl, on the opposite. I have learnt not to have expectations about a baby and rather appreciate the enormous privilege of being granted the blessing of carrying a life in your womb, especially since getting pregnant has been an uphill journey for me. The last three years I have had two miscarriages, a molar pregnancy and a stillbirth.
I think your secret yearning is quite legitimate, but when you have been in my place you sober up and really appreciate whatever gender your baby is.
Me for one, I would give all the girls in the world not to have lost my little boy.
I just wanted to share my experience with you. But till seven months back, I remember I was so jealous of my friends with girls that I could hardly stand meeting them. I swooned at the sight of Hello Kitty things and pretty girls in pink. I could hardly take girls off my head!

Dear pink carol, wow, i could have ticked the 'thank you' button, but that wouldn't do right to what your post means to me. I think you've just pushed me the last bit to be in peace with another boy, if that happens.... The last couple of days I was really thinking about how much i loved my boys and how proud i am of them! Makes me wonder why i really wanted a girl so much. Your post has made me come in peace with another boy! I couldn't thank you enough, it just made me cry...

[atomic sagebrush]

Have you read the following essays? http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/24628-le-diet-faq.html

the diet is meant to be easy to stick to - you're not supposed to be eating nothing, there is a lot of variety in the LE Diet.

[atomic sagebrush]

Within the three years that I had my third boy there were seven friends and family members I know that started out with two boys and went on to have a girl. I a was literally the only one out of eight to have a boy. I don't know if this is a comfort to you but as much as I still long to have a daughter the jelousy has greatly subsided for me. I do want a daughter badly but (I know this is going to sound hokey) I don't want THEIR daughter I want MY daughter so I remind myself that either I am going to have my DD or she never was meant to be but either way no one on this planet is raising MY daughter so there less to be jelous about. I know that is weird thinking but if you knew me IRL...I'm just a weird gal I guess. God Bless and I hope you find comfort on this site and from those around you, no one should have to suffer in pain alone and on here you are not alone!!!:hug2:

That is exactly how I felt - I did feel some annoyance at times when people seemed to get everythign they wanted very easily but I just wanted HER (IKYKWIM) and the moment I saw her, it was like "oh there you are, I've been waiting for you."

[PolishPrincess]

Retro- Let's see...I "swayed" with my third through timing and all things stupid and luckily God was gracious enough to send me the most wonderful baby. This time I did diet, I am doing a couple extra things, but heavy heavy prayer. I have a different relationship with God now. I have no fear of a fourth boy. This is the most ironic night for me. I was looking for a pic of my husband and came upon all these baby pictures of my three boys. One cherubic face after another. I am the most blessed person and Pink Carol I can't thank you enough because we all need that reminder of how precious life and health really is. Your post was such a blessing to me thank you.
See I believe that the Lord has given me the Desire for a daughter. I believe that it may very well be that he has planned a fantastic boy number four for us that we will love like crazy and he will complete this family. Or perhaps I will never get pregnant again because that in itself is a miracle. So I look at my swaying as a type of prayer, but I am careful not to get too extreme with it. I am starting to wane too. I just love my boys. My three year old held my face yesterday and said, "mommy I love the way you smell." He is an angel. I thank God every that I don't call the shots. I could never get it this good.

[Peanut41]

but I just wanted HER (IKYKWIM) and the moment I saw her, it was like "oh there you are, I've been waiting for you."

Now you have me feeling all emotional and teary eyed!

[1+2+3boys]

Same here, When someone in my twin support group announces they are having a girl or girls (espeically after boys) I can't bear to read it. I know someone who lost her twin girl just before birth and it is the most horrible thing I can imagine and has made me more accepting of being happy with what ever I get next time. But I am scared to think about the future because as happy as I will be with healthy boy number 4, I would always have a longing that could never be met

[vickyaust]

I totally feel the same. I have a girlfriend who is expecting a girl after two boys. No swaying or HT. She just knew she would have a girl. Whatever! How annoying.

[pink carol]

Thank you, Bigwish, for your words! You make me cry too!
Like I said, I have learnt to love boys to bits and to be totally at peace with the lack of a girl in my life.
If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again and carry it full term, I can tell you honestly from the bottom of my heart that I'll be delighted to welcome another boy if that is the gender this life chooses to be.
I have totally gotten over this girl jealousy and I wish other girls in the site would realize the richness they have in their boys and how wonderful boys are without going through the hell I've lived.
But that doesn't mean I don't understand them because I've been there too. Now I'm at peace with the jealousy. Wish I could be equally at peace over the loss of my boy, but if somehow my post makes a difference in the life of other girls in the site, I'll be more than satisfied.

[SurroundedByBoys]

Im right with you all... I had such disappointment when I found out about my second son, I cried. I moped. I threw internal temper tantrums. I bemoaned the fact everybody was having a girl but me, some their second. Then as soon as he was placed in my arms, I fell in love. I cant say what if I did this or that, because then I wouldnt have my little beastie. The thought of not having a daughter actually hurts and makes me ill... I can accept the fact I might have a third boy for our final child, and I will love him. I'll just always have that part of me thats sad.

[inshaallahxx]

Inshallah- I'm glad I'm not the only one. I feel exactly the same. When are you going to TTC? I also find that some family's seen to already have it all and still get their girl. I have booked myself in with a psychic too. Saw a psychic 2 years ago who said I will have a girl so want to see if a different person will say the same. Not sure if I believe in that or not but at the moment will try anything.



I'm going to start in July. It's so far and I'm so anxious to try! I've just been praying non-stop for a girl.

[retrolove1]

Thanks for all of the replys.

I really do realise how lucky I am to even have two healthy boys and I do welcome more boys it's just the fact of NEVER having a girl. I guess since being a young girl when you play mums and dads I have always had a daughter.

If I find out I am expecting another boy there will be a brief moment of sadness like their was with DS2 but it will soon disappear, but the dream of having a girl I don't think will ever go. I know this is very selfish especially after what Pink Carol went through and I hope I never ever lose a son because I understand completely how equally precious a boy is to a girl.

I'm sure one day I will look at the girl babies clothes (the o so cute dresses, tights, pretty coats and shoes) and instead of my heart longing to buy it all I will not care and look straight to the boys clothes. I just can't imagine it be until I've had my third and final child.

I do feel like a complete b****h for still feeling this. :sad: Please don't hate me. I will continue praying.

xx

[6bluewant1pink]

Oh YES i get super jealous! I hate feeling like this:hair: I have 6 boys so imagine hearing boy after boy after boy after boy after boy after boy. When friends/family/or even women i do not know that i see out with a few boys(i am not trying to offend anyone on here) then i see that baby girl i just wanna scream WHY NOT ME!!! I get so sick to the stomach jealous! Sometime i feel like they are rubbing it in my face like HA HA I got my girl and not you :mad:

Oh and i do not understand when i notice women that have at least 1 girl and get all mad cause they want another girl but end up with a boy like my sister. OMG i would die to be in their shoes they just do not know how lucky they are to have a chance to experience having at least 1 daughter!

[retrolove1]

6BlueWant1Pink- I bet that is so hard, I feel like that with having two boys!
Have you swayed for any of your previous pregnancies?

I some times feel that people even strangers must look at me and think that I must really want a daughter and feel sorry for me.

You really do deserve a little girl. Are you currently pregnant or TTC?

Xxx

[MamaK4]

No, you certainly aren't the only one. I feel awful when I feel jealousy or resentment towards friends who have a girl, but the thoughts of "why them and not us" do float across my mind. This time I went into it just sure we're going to have boy #4, so if somehow we end up with a girl they'll need the smelling salts to bring me back to!

[6bluewant1pink]

Retrolove1 Yes i did sway with my 6th child. But i did a lot of the sway stuff (from another site) i had learned. Which really in fact swayed boy i later learned after having him. I hope you get your girl. I think you have a way better chance than me. Well i tell every women that who has less boys than me.

[keepthefaith]

I feel like this!!

[Dana-Alicia]

I felt like this, but it's got a lot better since I had DS2. I could never imagine I would have two boys so when I found out DS2 was a boy, I was in shock. How could I love another boy just as much as I love his brother? But the day he was born was def the best day of my life, along with the day his older brother was born. A baby is a baby and they were all miiiine! Okay also a little bit DH's babies ;) But I don;t care anymore who has a girl and who has a boy. Because they are not my babies and my babies are so perfect I almost feel sorry for other people their kids are not as awesome as mine :giggle:

I also lost a daughter and after going through this hell on earth all I wanted was a healthy baby. And that is still all I want and hope for. BUT I do not feel complete without my girl. A sister for my angel and my boys. I hope we all get what we want, so we can feel peace. I really long for that feeling to know I have all I ever wanted.

[Peebell85]

Dana-Alicia, you are totally spot on!

[Rmarie]

I feel you 100% I'm the only person in the family that has all boys and every year my family gets together and do a family portrait with mother& daughters only and I can never participate:(

[atomic sagebrush]

:( ugh that makes me mad and sad!!

[Mrs_Incredible]

That is awful, do they realise how hard that must be for you? X


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[Rmarie]

Exactly they don't at all...so I just take that time and do family portraits of our own with me the hubby & boys:)