So mad at myself...

[BZ94]

So I've been in a really bad place the past few days. DS1 had the stomach flu Saturday night and I was up all night with him two nights in a row. He's better now but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and for DS2 or me to get it...I honestly don't think I can suffer any more sleepless nights. Between being pregnant and taking care of the kids and not sleeping, I'm feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted.

Which makes me wonder why the hell I thought I needed a third child to begin with. I physically feel like I can't handle the two I have. Oh yeah, that's right it's because I was desperate for a DD. Now I'm just so mad at myself that my desire for a little girl got in the way of plain old common sense. I know I'll love him and won't regret him when he's here, but am I going to completely fall apart physically and emotionally from the stress of having three boys? Other moms of three make it look like a piece of cake, but I'm really worried about my sanity and overall health...

[iluvmy4sons]

You will be okay. You are just run down. I have had bad insomnia with this pregnancy the whole time and for 2 weeks had to sleep on the couch because my husband was sick and coughing all the night and then my 3 year old had a cough for like a week. My husband has to wake up at 3:00am to go to work so I am always waking up at the time when I just get to sleep. After a couple of months with three you won't even remember what it was like to have two. Lots of hugs and I hope you or your other DS do not get sick.

[wannagirl21]

I was just thinking the same thing tonight but don't know what I'm having and I wanted more kids, but all I know is it's gonna take time to get adjusted to having three kids just like it took time getting used to two kids. I have a girlfriend who just had her third child and she said the transition going from two to three kids is much easier then one to two kids. But I feel your pain I feel the same way I told DH I don't want to be a physco women the rest of my life... lol.... take mommy breaks go to starbucks or a park by yourself and take breaks seriously that is the only way I don't go Mad!!!! it will get easier it alway's does even when it doesn't feel like it.

[*ruby*]

Pregnancy is HARD and all the hormones, tiredness etc all make everything seem so much worse. Once he's here i'm sure you'll never imagine not having 3. I always found the newborn stage way easier than being heavily pregnant. I hope you or DS2 don't get sick.

[bebetrois]

Hang in there. I have a 3 year old boy and a 22 month old girl plus 19 weeks pregnant with another boy and feel the next 21 weeks might be hard because of tiredness etc (I am 39) but I think I've always wanted a big family so it will be worth it in the end...even though 3 is not really a big family - it's bigger than a 2 child family, I had one very quiet shy twin brother and always wanted more brothers and sisters, I would like more but due to my age I'd have to have them all so close and that would be soooo tiring as it is my 3 will be all around less than 2 years apart. I think some would ask why I even wanted three since I had a boy and girl but for me it wasn't about gender.
Hopefully your hubby helps and you have some family support. Hugs xxx

[Violet_]

In the earliest part of this pregnancy, I'm 17 weeks, I was EXTREMELY sick that I just wanted to die and thought I was completely mad for having a fourth child. But then the morning sickness improved immensely and I'm coping okay again. There may be times when things are rough for a little while but you will get by. I had to lean on my hubby and sister in laws. They took the older kids out while I rested, came over and did my housework a couple of times as I was too sick to stand. But these things were temporary and we have managed. Similarly it was a bit tricky when DS3 was born. My oldest boy was late for school quite a lot (baby needed feeding, would scream all morning while I was trying to back his lunch, get the kids ready etc), but he did okay, despite it being a little challenging for a while. We are all doing well again. Everyone struggles as some time or another, no matter how perfect they appear from the outside. Don't beat yourself up or expect too much from yourself. You'll get through.

[Shenanigans]

Once he is here and you've adjusted you truly won't remember what it was like with just 2. It is an easier transition than 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. :)

[HopingWishingPraying]

I agree that 2 to 3 is no where near as much as a shock as 1 to 2 is. I REALLY struggled with the transition to 2 kids and I spent many MANY hours panicking about how I would ever cope with more kids (which I knew I still wanted). Honestly the thing that made my "bad days" the hardest was how much of a stew I would get myself in about panicking about how I would cope with more kids. When DS3 came along, aside from the first 8 weeks being busy when he was feeding very frequently I really have not found 3 any harder than 2. Sure, I have bad days but then I had bad days with 2 and I really dont think I have MORE bad days with 3 than I did with 2. I heard an analogy: When you have your first child, your child wants you to give your whole self to them.... and it is hard... but you CAN give your whole self to 1 child. But when you have a second child, and BOTH children want your whole self - you physically cant give your whole self to 2 different people. So suddenly you are pulled in 2 different directions, chosing between whose needs to meet first, sorting out fights, always feeling jealous that someone is crying or missing out whilst you attend to someone else. That was so true for me. I felt SOOOO guilty that Icould not give my whole self to both of them, and I ALWAYS felt like I was neglecting someone whilst attending to the other child. Learning how to jungle, to manage sibling rivalry, time management and how to split yourself in 2 was a really steep learning curve. It took me a number of years to feel confident and to stop feeling guilty. When #3 came along... sure it was busy... but none of the dynamics were new. I was probably a bit busier... but I wasnt so shellshocked by the sibling rivalry or trying to manage the needs of more than one child at a time... I was used to that. In addition, my older kids were nowhere near as jealous as my first had been when the second arrived... partly because they were now used to sharing my time and attention and partly because they did have each other to amuse themselves. When I used to be breastfeeding #2, number 1 would sit at my feet looking like an unloved puppy. This time they would be off doing stuff together, even if it was causing some type of unwanted chaos, and that didnt make me feel as guilty. I will also say that seasons change, I really found my first 2 hard for a few years and couldnt imagine it getting any easier ever... but it did. I am another one who finds the energy drain of late pregnancy much harder than the newborn weeks. Caring for sick children is hard at the best of times, you must be drained being pregnant as well. I hope that you find the transition to 3 is not nearly as hard as you are worried it will be. Big hugs.