2 or 3 kids? Anyone having regrets after having #3? or opposite?

[Cauliflower]

Hi,

I have always wanted 3 kids! Now I have two healthy boys, age 3 and 5, and I am so grateful. I wanted my firstborn to be a boy and I wanted a brother for him, thanking God every day for making my dreams come true.

I have only started noticing girls now, and of course want my 3rd to be a baby girl. My husband only want two kids. We both work and having two small children has been tiring. I am in the process of trying to convince him to have #3, but in that process having doubts whether it is going to be too hard with jobs and everything!

So:

Should have another bcz...:
- I will have my desired DD!
- I will have no regrets of not having 3.
- My sons will have another sibling.
- If one or both decide to study abroad, my house wont be empty when they leave.
- I want to experience pregnancy and baby just one more time.

Should have only two bcz...:
- Less time per kid!
- i will be cranky worn out, and not fun to have around.
- It is costly! All the vacations we want to have, how will it be possible with 3???
- Placing three kids in a car :(believe me I think a lot abt that. It is hard enough to fasten seatbelts on two of them.
- More time for us, less hectic life

Please do comment and share your expreiences!

[Rainbow baby]

I think you should do what your heart tells you! It is harder, it does cost more. The 3 car seats do fit in our car ok when we had to use 3! We got the 3 point harness ones so no trouble clipping them in and out put the eldest in the middle they can usually buckle them self!! We did have trouble with the lap belt type boosters clipping them in, so went out and brought the 3 point harness for all of them! All the bits and pieces and I wouldn't change having 3 if I could but hey we want 4! Yes you will probably be really tied the first few months but after that it really isn't that bad or maybe I am used to it now ? I do find though my eldest is left out a lot more and the little guys play together but in saying that they are all super close.

[Cauliflower]

Thank you rainbow baby!
I know in my heart I want 3 kids, boy or girl. I love children have always done. And I feel that I am not done yet, there is a baby missing...you know what I mean.
It is just that the heart says something else, and the brain starts to count, measure and rationalize it. having babies is about LOVE and nothing to do with rationalism, I guess;)

[Wanting-a-girl]

I think having my third was a great desicion no regrets at all because I had my first 2 when I was 16/18 so I feel that I didn't appreciate things as much at those ages.... I wanted my first two to be boys too :)

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I'm having my 5th. We're done after this one, but I have no regrets at all.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Cauliflower...I think all of those pros and cons just like you, and fully believe in my heart that I am missing out on one of my children should I not TTC again. I wish you the best and hope for pink bundles all around!!!

[PolishPrincess]

Cauli,
I just always wanted a larger group. I cam from three and I knew that I wanted my kids to have a strong sibling presence in their lives. I want one more (because I am totally whack) but I just like the feel of a big group and the love between siblings even more than what it brings to DH and me...

on the flip side you are exactly right about the negatives; There is more stress and more money loss...but vacations are not really that much worse unless it's Disney your shooting for, they just don't seem to get the big family thing.

I wish you all the luck, I know for me I have to choose what will leave me with the least regret.

PS- I LOVE that you wanted two boys in a row- they are fabulous aren't they!!!!!

[inshaallahxx]

Hey sister,
I know exactly what you're going through. I question this all the time as well. In the end though I know the regret will hurt more than any case of GD. I know the money will figure out, plus I'm okay not having a lot of money. I hope it teaches my children to work hard for what they have and the importance of faith. I could live with out a vacation and my heart will never yearn for one like my heart yearns for my unborn child.

If you ever need support or anything please feel free to PM or if you would like I could give you my email.
We are ttc at the EXACT SAME time, so maybe we can help each other through the wait. I will also pray for you.

[Cauliflower]

Thank you all for the answers, it feels good to get tis off my shoulders!

Polish Princess: We are doing the Disney tour in March so wen that is done, we are ready to become a family of 5 :) And yes I love my boys sooo much, they are so close!

Insha: Yes, we will be TTC together, soooo nice to have a TTC buddy already! And I am 99,99% sure I want 3 kids. It is just the 0,01 % that sometimes bother me ;) Thank you for your kind offer, I need all the support I can get.

[Princess of Pink]

I'm currently TTC #6 and have no regrets at all! I am a firm believer that you don't ever regret the kids you do have....but will regret the ones you didn't have when you had the desire. Good luck!

[fish2012]

yeap exact same concerns here, for me i didn't know about swaying when i got preggie with ds1, with ds2 i knew about it but was ready to get preggie yet opposie baby obvioulsy a boy! i cannot not try for my dream of a girl. i always wanted 1/2 children ideally girls............life is just getting easy now my boys are 3&21months...why add a headache?!

oh a dream of a little girl and one last preggie to enjoy and cherish.......never regret what you do, i know if i hadn't tried i'd regret it forever even if this is a boy (it probably is) i will fall in love for the forth time and i hope i will be able to set my desire for a girl aside (fx!)

follow your dreams what you're 80 you're not going think about 4 years of fitting 3 car seats in a car! (i know we've had to buy a virtual bus!)

[Cauliflower]

Ha ha, thanks fish.

Yes, it is going to be hard the first 2 years, but after that I can enjoy my lovely family, and I KNOW there will be no regrets even if this one is going to be another boy, which I a pretty sure is going to be (it has to do with a curse from my MIL!).

I am so ready!!! July, come soon!!!

[RedCanoe]

We only ever wanted 2-3 kids and now have 4. Definitely no regrets. DS3 was a failed sway too, and I wouldn't give him back for anything, lol! :)

I say go for it if it's at all feasible - meaning if you're struggling to feed the kids you DO have, don't have any more. But if you're meeting everyone's needs and can meet the needs of one more, then do it. Like a pp said, you won't regret the kids you have. And I doubt you'll regret the loss of a fancy vacation in the long term either. Not if your heart desires another baby. :)

[lobella2]

I always wanted 3. My husband was happy with 2, but gave in and we now have 3. I love having 3. My older 2 play well together and they are 5 and 8 so they are more independent. I also feel that you never regret the kids you have, but you may regret not having another. Now I feel I could have a 4th:) But my hubby would NEVER agree and that would make it so much harder to fit in the car and easily go out. Our car does fit 3 carseats easily. I say go for the 3rd. My 3rd is the sweetest little one and I am thankful for her every day.

[jd03pd]

I've always been told that you will never regret the kids that you have, but you may regret the kids that you don't have. I have three now and don't regret it one bit! However, my limit is still 4. :)

[WantingPink]

I have never heard anyone say they regret the children they have however, I have heard lots of people say they regret not having more or not starting earlier so they could have more. I really didn't want more than two kids however, I really wanted a girl and that seems more important than the magical "2" number I had in my head. If I had two girls I would want a boy also. I have always wanted to experience raising both genders... hopefully I will get that chance with #3!!

[geminispinkmoon]

My husband and I started out wanting only two kids, well we ended up with one baby and then twins so I'll never even know what it's like to have two! lol We will be ttc baby #8 next year, this will be our last baby. Having a large family certainly has it's stresses, but it also has it's many, many, joys and for us it has worked out beautifully. My husband and I LOVE our large family, we do a lot of things as a family too - we travel a lot, we hike, fish, camp, bike - you name it. It's all about perspective :) It's like the saying goes "I knew someone who was so poor... all they had was money".

Good luck with your decision! :hug2:

[Haking]

My DH and I wanted 2 but since DS2 was a boy he has agreed to try once more for a girl.

[moof4]

No regrets here! Beautiful all of them in their own unique way

[AmyCarlos]

2 kids are more than enough for me. With the rising cost of living 1 or 2 is the best.