being in limbo

[mt9178]

I have 4ds and long for a girl. DH does not want to have anymore kids. We just use condoms so there is always that chance that we could get pregnant. I am so torn, I hate living in limbo not knowing if we could be or not. Part of me wants to just have my tubes tied and then the door would be closed on the matter. I have a box of girl blankets and clothes, all purchased when I was pregnant with #1 and #2, sometimes I think I need to just bite the bullet and donate the box and get it out of the house.
Limbo stinks :(

[iluvmy4sons]

Hugs!! I am pregnant with my 5 and will find out on Thurs if it is a dd or another ds. I was were you are 6 months ago. Neither of us will get anything permanent done so we will always probably have a chance. I might decide to try an IUD but I keep hearing stories about them. I know I will forget the pill. I never been on any type of bc. My last 2 and this one I just kept track of my cycles. Good luck with your decision.

[4devochki]

I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish DH wouldn't tease me with his "maybe, somedays" so I could just grieve that we have 4 girls, and that's it, period, full stop, time to get over it. For us it's not so simple as condom/no condom--donor egg or adoption...neither of which is really fully acceptable to both of us. So I'm almost at that place of giving up, despite DH...

Have you really come to terms with whether or not you want to have a fifth child of either gender, just for you? Do you honestly want to? Then the dream lives on...but if you have second thoughts as to whether five is a good idea, logistically, financially, etc., then maybe your blanket-donation thoughts are trying to tell you something.