Hello All, be honest, am I too old?

[jaynebelle]

:worry:Hi All,
Totally new to the site, i'm a 40 year old mum, my hubby is 41, we have a 17 year old son, and would love a daughter, but fear our ship may have already sailed! Anyway, lovely to be a member, looking forward to receiving your advice and opinions xxxx

[atomic sagebrush]

NO you are not too old!!! I got my DD at 41, hubby had just turned 42. Eldest son was 20!! Welcome!

[luckylass]

Nope I don't think you are too old either. I am 32 and was just talking to my consultant about this a while ago as there was a thing for years here about 35 being the end for women ttc but he told me with medical care etc being so good these days that 46 is the new 35 and he has plenty of women in their mid 40's having 2 and 3 no bother. Best of luck with concieving a little girl.

[jaynebelle]

Wow,
That's fantastic Atomic! I feel as though we're in a fantastic position to have another child, financially and emotionally, and I feel healthier than I did in my 20s when I had my son! To be honest, I dropped a few hints to friends and family that we may be considering adding to our family, and i've been met with some really negative comments such as "What about DS 1, he'll be embarrassed by you having a baby "(hes 17) and most people have been really insensitive, then I find myself worrying about the possibilities of birth defects, with us both being older...one things for sure, if we don't go for it, im sure i'll regret it , but its tough when everybody around me has been so negative...:worry:

[jaynebelle]

Thanks Luckylass, such positive news!! Just what I needed to hear !:highfive:

[The Anchor]

Welcome jaynebelle! I am 40 and going for #3 - had my first at 36. We are not too old :)

[Butterfly Spirit]

No you aren't too old either one of you! Go ladies GO!!!! :D

[jaynebelle]

YAAAYYYY!! Thanks ladies, just what I needed, some positive words of encouragement!! My gran had 11 children in total, and was 44 when she had my uncle, so i'm hoping I inherited her fertility genes!! xxx

[Hobbermittens]

You are not too old! I just had a baby a few months before I turned 40. :)

[RedCanoe]

some really negative comments such as "What about DS 1, he'll be embarrassed by you having a baby "(hes 17)

Even if this is true atm, and it may not even be how he feels, I think that giving your son a sibling is a wonderful gift. I read an article a while ago written by someone who grew up as a single child - basically she was saying that it's not the 'lonely childhood' that everyone thinks of that's hard (she had lots of friends and was not lonely as a child) but being an only as an adult. Having to worry about and care for your aging parents on your own is hard. Losing a parent as a single child means that you are going through it alone, with no one else who this is also happening to who can be there to ease things. So if you had a DD (or another DS), your DS1 may not appreciate it right away, but he will someday. :)



the possibilities of birth defects, with us both being older...

While it's true that your odds are higher, it's still much, much more likely that you would have a healthy baby than a baby with birth defects. The odds are still very much in your favor.

And no, I don't think you're too old at all! :)

[Princess of Pink]

Go for it hon....you are nowhere near too old!!!

[dloui128]

Even if this is true atm, and it may not even be how he feels, I think that giving your son a sibling is a wonderful gift. I read an article a while ago written by someone who grew up as a single child - basically she was saying that it's not the 'lonely childhood' that everyone thinks of that's hard (she had lots of friends and was not lonely as a child) but being an only as an adult. Having to worry about and care for your aging parents on your own is hard. Losing a parent as a single child means that you are going through it alone, with no one else who this is also happening to who can be there to ease things. So if you had a DD (or another DS), your DS1 may not appreciate it right away, but he will someday. :)




While it's true that your odds are higher, it's still much, much more likely that you would have a healthy baby than a baby with birth defects. The odds are still very much in your favor.

And no, I don't think you're too old at all! :)

I am an only child and I didn't mind it when I was younger but now that I am older I hate it, it's lonely, I wish I had that sibling bond that I see, I wish my kids had aunts and uncles and lots of cousins like I did growing up. If I could financially do it I would of had a boat load of kids so I knew when they got older they would have a huge family and never be without each other

[WantingPink]

No way you are too old. I am turning 38 in a couple of days and was joking with my ultrasonographer about how old I was and she looked at me like I was crazy. She said I wasn't even close to being old for having a baby. She said that more than 1/2 the patients in the practice are over 35 and another 1/2 of those are over 40!! She said she had just gotten done scanning someone who was 47 and baby was perfectly healthy. Not sure why your family is so down on the idea but I say go for it! Especially if you take good care of yourself and feel like you are healthy. I would love to have one more in a couple of years!!

[jaynebelle]

Thanks for your words of encouragement ladies, we're going to go for it!!:happy:

[Pearl327]

My mum had my youngest sis at 42. 4 months before my eldest sister got married at 23. My MIL also had her 6th DD at 41. My aunt only met her DH at 37 she married when she was 39 and then had 2 boys followed by a girl.

You are definitely not too old.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Go for it! I had DD3 month before I turned 40 and planning a sway starting September aka at 41 :)

[Mum23boys]

If everything in working order your not too old - your body will tell u when it's too late until then its your call :-) good luck

[mommymachine]

My mom had me when she was 40:)

[inshaallahxx]

My aunt had her son at 41 he's is abnormally smart but other than that perfectly fine.

Also in my opinion you and DH knows what best for your family no one else!

[atomic sagebrush]

Wow,
That's fantastic Atomic! I feel as though we're in a fantastic position to have another child, financially and emotionally, and I feel healthier than I did in my 20s when I had my son! To be honest, I dropped a few hints to friends and family that we may be considering adding to our family, and i've been met with some really negative comments such as "What about DS 1, he'll be embarrassed by you having a baby "(hes 17) and most people have been really insensitive, then I find myself worrying about the possibilities of birth defects, with us both being older...one things for sure, if we don't go for it, im sure i'll regret it , but its tough when everybody around me has been so negative...:worry:

People are very negative about it but that all goes away when you hold that little bundle! My sons don't seem embarrassed about it, they sometimes get annoyed with having to do some extra chores and being pestered by their little sibilings, but I think it's been a good learning experience for them.

BTW I was an only child until I was 11 and I really really enjoyed having young siblings.

[sugarNspice]

My mom was 43 when I was born and I am smart and healthy! Ovarian reserve is different for every woman--there's no question that the risks of birth defects are higher later in life, as are the risks of miscarriage, but as someone else on here already said, those risks remain very small. Probably the biggest problem is that it can be hard to get pregnant at all. But if you can and do, chances are you will bring home a smart, healthy and beautiful baby.
I'm 38 and nowhere near ready to give up yet.

[b9mos]

Hello and welcome. You are never to old.

[LoveMyKids]

Janebelle, you are not too old to have a baby! I know so many women who had healthy babies at 40+, and it doesn't surprise anybody. My dh's coworker had her first baby at 38 and her last one at 43 (almost 44), and two more in between)) All the kids are absolutely healthy. Just today a friend of mine told me about her client who got pregnant at 48 years old and just had her baby shower:flowerz: She has two sons (23 and 19 y.o.) and actually thought that she was going into menopause and then found out she was pregnant:pregnant: This is really amazing!

[2lovelyboys]

Hello and welcome! My mum had my youngest brother when she was 39, I think provided you are fit and well then you shouldn't have a problem :)

[juneluv11]

Glad to hear people don't think you're too old! I'm 36 myself! :)
Best wishes!!

[Little Lunasa]

Best wishes from me too! I'm 42 and planning on swaying pink April/May :)


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