Feeling really low this morning

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Some of you may know the story of my SIL who just seems to get everything handed to her on a silver platter. Her parents gave her half the money for her house (hubby got nothing), her parents paid £10k for the lavish wedding, which I planned for her (its my job) and was my dream wedding (we got £1000 towards ours). SIL was up here for a while recently whilst they waited for their new house and MIL took her out for treats every day, drove her everywhere to look at furniture, waited on her hand and foot, etc. when they moved into their new house MIL went down and spent a week cleaning everything for them.

Well, as soon as she got pregnant I knew immediately that it would be a girl.

So, got the call this morning and she had a 4 hour perfect labour (what else!) and she had her little girl.

Now in laws are headed down there and we don't have anyone to look after kids tomorrow for our scan and they don't let children in - the dad has to stay outside with them. I don't blame inlaws, crickey its their grandchild!, but its just typical that it would happen, I even told hubby it would.

So, yet again, she gets everything. I just know that this little bean is a boy, and I'll love him no matter, but goodness it hurts so deep down.

[Bimby]

I know Im not in this group but just wanted to send hugs to you NS.
I was always jealous of my SIL too. They always just seemed to be so lucky!! They got a great house, had a boy and then a girl, her parents take them on overseas holidays all the time and everything just seems to go their way. It sucks sometimes but luckily they are lovely people so wouldnt wish anything but happiness for them.
I just wanted to say though just because your SIL had a girl doesnt mean you wont hun! I thought the same for myself, I just figured since my SIL had the girl I would be the one to miss out but it turned out not to be the case so there is no reason you wont be the same :) Wishing you all the best for your scan tomorrrow, big hugs to you right now and Im sending tonnes of pink dust your way for tomorrow x

[vickyaust]

So sorry its such a tough time for you. Your SIL is annoying the crap out of me.
Fx you get some amazing pink news tomorrow.

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Thank you. I just feel sick (physically) with jealousy and I hate myself for it, I hate how I've always felt jealous. None of it bothers my OH, which is good, he just doesn't seem to see it.

I think he could tell I was upset this morning as he just kept out of my way.

Bimby - thank you for the pink dust but I've just known from the beginning this is a boy. Tomorrow I'll get a blurry scan, as we always do, (SIL had perfectly clear scans and was sent for a 36 week one just because the midwife thought it would be nice if her to see the baby again, and she was given a a perfect face profile picture! I was sent for a 36 week one with Ds1 as they thought he was beech and wasn't even allowed to look at the screen! - same hospital!).

Like I said, she gets everything on a silver platter! She's not bought a thing for the baby, everything has been given to them - EVERYTHING!!!!

Argh! I hate getting this snippy and jealous, its so horrible.

[Butterfly Spirit]

Oh Northern,
I am so sorry that you are feeling really low. It must be very hard to see your SIL get a DD. Does she have any other children?
You are a great lady, and I'm betting that you have two terrific little men! Our kids are the same ages! :)
I wouldn't let this get you down, really! Just try to be positive and happy!
You have something to look forward to, you get to have your scan tomorrow right?
You aren't canceling? I hope not!
So just be happy and look forward to it! You might just have a DD yourself! There's no way to know until it's been confirmed!
xx

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Butterfly - thank you, you're very kind! Yes, it's her first baby, and she wants another so no doubt it'll be a boy.

Can't cancel tomorrow as its my NT scan, its just really sad because hubby will be sat right outside the scan room with the boys when I'll be having the scan by myself. Hubby will only get to see the picture :tissue:

I just keep breaking down today. I was prepared for her having a girl, I knew the minute she announced the pregnancy, but I didn't think it would hit me so hard.

[Butterfly Spirit]

Awwwww

It's going to be okay!

:hug2:

9278

Perhaps tomorrow I will be saying Congratulations on your DD!!!

[Bimby]

Maybe they'll let your DH and the kids in at the end so you can all have a sneak peak at bubs once all is ok. I hope everything turns out for the best hun.

[deaks66]

Northern i really hope its your turn to hear the news you want and that dh can pop in with the kids at some point.

[deaks66]

meant to add... even if you do hear boy, i bet youll be on here in 6 months time telling us how glad you are that you have 3 little guys and how wonderful he is.... see my signature... and i felt really low like you too :)

[Longingforgirl]

Northern I am so sorry that you're feeling so down! I have a SIL as well, and she is handed everything on a silver platter as well. Everything! And I hate it!! I kind of avoid seeing her, even though that is almost not possible. She doesen't have to do a thing for anything, everything just "happens" for her.

I too am so sure of this being another boy. I have PCO and I strongly believe that if you have PCO and don't sway, you can only end up with boys. Which I didn't want. I honestly don't want another boy, I think I cannot handle another one. Those two have been a huge challenge and I so wish for a girl. But I am coming to terms with it somehow. Today I feel "ok" about it being a boy. Probably just in theory because it is not proven yet. It just hurts and sucks so badly.

And I will be crossing all my fingers for you for tomorrow that you will see a perfect pink nub. Now it's your time!!! I hope you will get your DD as well as your SIL just got it. You're a lovely women and you deserve it!

:luck::luck::luck:

[Thorz300]

I'm so sorry, I wish I had words to help take away the pain and jealousy, but to be honest, if I had the right words for that, then I would be one happy woman, because I too get very jealous of those near me (my sister) who seem to just get everything they want without effort (sister has DS then got DD) it stinks. I really hope we both get our girls! Good luck!

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Thank you all. Tomorrow is just the 13 week scan, and I've never had a detailed shot so doubt I'll see a thing.

I've moved my gender scan to the 30th march though, so only 30 days to go rather than 37 - they wouldn't do it the week before that as I'd only have been 16+2 ;(

[cvd]

Ahh! I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I can 100% relate!!!! Although rather then jealousy I seem to have more anger unfortunately. My SIL has 3 kids (BBG) and they both work great jobs, have an INSANE amount of debt, but make income off a rental property and live in my inlaws paid off house for FREE and at the end of the month can hardly afford food for the kids. My inlaws are constantly giving them money, helping them with trips, renovations, bills, bought them cars. WE have a single income (which is less then ONE of theirs), so I can stay home with our son, bought our own house, pay our bills ALWAYS, I work my BUTT off watching our finances to make sure all bills are paid so we get any debt other then our mortgage and yet STILL manage to have savings for us and our son at the end of each and every month. My inlaws give us NOTHING, they help us with NOTHING, I understand we are better off financially then my SIL because we are responsible with our money but she is almost 10 years older then us - how will she learn anything if it keeps getting handed to her? I'd also like to mention her baby girl is 9 months and since the day she got pregnant my inlaws has been buying them baby stuff, I am almost 27 weeks and have not received even a pair of socks for our baby. She got all new furniture, a ton of clothes and we have had to purchase EVERYTHING for this baby on our own.

Sorry I didn't mean to write so much but I just wanted to let you know I am sooo on the same page as you haha! I understand you know, I'm not my MIL's daughter but it angers me how much they favour her over my DH, he works his friggen butt off for his family, we try so hard to have what we have and they just throw everything away but always get more.

[Northern_Shutterbug]

I've just spoken to my mum and even she says I'm being stupid. She's sad that I feel so jealous and sad, but still thinks I'm being silly. She also predicted SIL would have a girl (this is the lady that's been 100% right on gender prediction, even with triplets who were all boys, and mixed twins before the mother even knew it was twins!). She, like I know deep down, is sure that I'm having another boy.

I really thought she would be someone I could speak to about it as she knows I'd love a girl and knows how my SIL gets everything she wants. But obviously I was wrong.

I'm sorry ladies, I know I sound so melodramatic, but I just feel like I'm in a hole and sinking further. I love my boys with all my heart, I honestly do, and I never thought I'd be like this, but I'm really hurting

[fish2012]

Hey northern I'm an only and am hurt when I perceive different behaviour towards my dh and favourite ds and my sip who obviously is a girl it is hard.

Can't take kids I to scan stupid ds1 came to my scan for ds2! Can you strap them in double buggy surely allowed in then!!

Oh life hurts some days hun could you ask a friend to have older one and sneak lill one in with you?

Hugs xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Huge (((hugs))) Northern, I know just how you feel. :heart: not my SIL but other people who just seem to have everything so easily.

[WantingPink]

Northern sorry you are having such bad time. I know how hard it is to see people around you get a DD. I can't even imagine how difficult it is when it is a SIL that always gets everything. I don't have a SIL but I do have a BIL that gets more than his fair share of handouts from DH parents while we get nothing. I really do hope that you get your girl!! I think if you heard you were having a girl it would take the sting out of all of that.

[Longingforgirl]

I am sorry you cannot even talk to your mom about this. Sometimes you just need some comfort and understanding people around. My mom has never ever understood that either and I have been disappointed a lot. That is just sad and I am very sorry that she does not understand. I think nobody can really understand how gender desire and also gender disappointing is feeling if they haven't been there themselves.

That's why I'm glad about this forum *happy* You can always come here and people will understand.

I really feel for you and really hope that you will indeed get your DD. Even though noone seems to believe in it. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

[Butterfly Spirit]

How many hours until your scan Northern?

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Just short of 7 now. Starting to feel really nervous now. Had loads of dreams about it last night and was very nervous.

[wilma_five]

Good luck with your scan! 3rd boys are the most cutest ones, they really are!!
With your SIL, don't let it bother you. I'll bet she's fat and ugly, has a troubled marriage etc. (not that I know offcourse is true but EVERYONE gets someting to deal with that makes them jealous on others).

[Butterfly Spirit]

Just short of 7 now. Starting to feel really nervous now. Had loads of dreams about it last night and was very nervous.

Well if it helps at all.. I dreamed of my doc doing a scan, and I said to him "So you are telling me that you are seeing boy parts, correct?" and he said "Yes."

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Good luck with your scan! 3rd boys are the most cutest ones, they really are!!
With your SIL, don't let it bother you. I'll bet she's fat and ugly, has a troubled marriage etc. (not that I know offcourse is true but EVERYONE gets someting to deal with that makes them jealous on others).

Unfortunately, she's not fat, is quite pretty and glamorous, has tons of friends and is very happy in her marriage :hair: