Getting ready for Tuesday - big scan

[prayforaboy]

As many of you know that I have swayed blue and really hoping for my sway to work. I know that I will have some GD if it is not blue but I think I will handle it better than I think I will. My family wants this baby to be a boy much more than I do and the pressure is to make everybody happy. But I have convinced myself in last week that I love girls and if I end up being girl’s mommy….that would be fun too. There will be temporary disappointment among some family members, which I totally understand…because this is their last chance to have a grandson (we have all girls in hubby's family:giggle:) . But I am sure everybody will get over that feeling and love my new little girl.
My fear is that I will not handle the news right way and cry…. and make other people sad too. Can you ladies please help me on how did you handle the gender desire situation with family members. Did you have a family with strong desire?
For now I am praying for healthy baby and boy is a plus.

[cvd]

Hey prayforaboy,
Good luck on your upcoming scan, hope baby is healthy and you hear blue!
Our family had a strong desire for a girl as did DH and I, this is our last baby, the way I decided to deal with it since I knew I'd be a little upset and I knew our families would be too is I actually moved my gender scan ahead a week last minute and we didn't tell anyone we were going. I had about a week to process it myself with just DH and decide how we would tell everyone and deal with their responses etc. I realize that isn't really an option for you since your scan is Tuesday but I hope someone else has a good idea or that you hear boy anyway :) Good luck again!

[nuthinbutpink]

I agree with not telling family and change your appointment. It's awful when everyone is waiting with baited breath for the results. I always let it sit with me until I was ready. It didn't make it all better but eased the pressure of THE day.

[prayforaboy]

I guess i have already told everybody about Tuesday....may be I can lie that baby did not cooperate? I hope baby does cooperate :) But you are right I need time to let it sink first.

[4Giffins]

I know how you feel! It would be so much easier if we didnt have the pressure from friends and family. I honestly dont think I would even care if I didnt have to listen to everyone talk about how we only have girls and there are only granddaughters in the family yada yada yada..like its a bad thing! I think the lying about the scan date is a great idea and I plan to do it also, even if only a couple days difference at least it will give DH and I time for it to sink in and be ok with it before having to listen to all the coments we will be sure to get!

With both of my girls my DH wanted boys! I was so mad after my scan with DD2 cuz there was so much pressure on me to have a boy that I felt liked I failed when the results came in as a girl. I was sad after the scan but only cuz everyone else was disapointed and to this day I still am so mad at myself for feeling that way. I tell DH all the time that I cant believe how great having two DDs is and who wouldve thought! Not his parents that make it such a big deal that they have 6 granddaughters yet see them twice a month even though they live a block away! At the end of the day we are the ones that raise the children and will love them no matter what so why do we let others put that pressure on us? I dont know and Im trying to sort that out myself. Sorry for the ramble, I do know that having two DDs is wonderful in every way and although I would love to know a son I dont feel like my days are any less complete or enjoyable without one. I refuse to be sad this time if I hear girl because they are so great and I cant believe I ever did anything but celebrate them now that they are here! I really dont want to make that mistake again :)

[Ipadmad]

Prayforaboy - I've also got our gender scan tomorrow (hoping for pink!).

I'm sort of wondering if we're doing the right thing finding out, I guess the fear of not hearing what we want to hear.

Fingers crossed for you!

[dloui128]

Good luck Tuesday. I agree with everyone family puts so much pressure on us even if they aren't doing it intentionally. In the end it doesn't matter what they want because we are the ones raising the children. My whole family wanted me to have a boy since its all girls in the family, but they wouldn't dare say anything to me like that because I think they are afraid to face my wrath! Lol

[prayforaboy]

Thank you ladies.....
4Griffins - you reminded me a great thing - when I found out with my DD that it is a girl ( i wanted a boy to get this family pressure off and enjoy my second pregnancy without gender pressure) I had mild gender disappointment but once she was born..... it was a different story... I love her to pieces and I have never loved anybody that much :) ... so i regret feeling sad during ultrasound. It was all waste of precious emotions. Less than 24 hours remaining for me to find out.............. I had two dreams tonight - one I got an email it is a boy and another someone pointing towards me saying one girl and one boy is good. Keeping my fingers crossed.

[ELP]

Good luck tomorrow!!!!:luck:

[Ipadmad]

Pray - how did you gt on?
I'm expecting blue again. Feel quite sad today (and also guilty for the inevitable sadness). Hope you've heard blue too xx

[prayforaboy]

I will know in 45 mins.......... so nervous..... OMG...

[cvd]

Keeping an eye for an update!!!

[cvd]

Pray - how did you gt on?
I'm expecting blue again. Feel quite sad today (and also guilty for the inevitable sadness). Hope you've heard blue too xx

Sorry you didn't hear pink :( hope you're doing ok! I felt guilty about the sadness as well but it's normal, I had a big cry in the car after lol do something nice for yourself!

[Emily]

Pray - how did you gt on?
I'm expecting blue again. Feel quite sad today (and also guilty for the inevitable sadness). Hope you've heard blue too xx

Sorry you are feeling sad. I was the same when I found out about DS2 but can hand on heart say that he is the best thing that has ever happened to our family. I had post natal depression after DS1 for all sorts of reasons so was a bit anxious that I would have it again especially as I was having another boy but he has brought us all together in such a wonderful way.

I worried that I would be out on a limb but was given this advice -" Just learn how to make a good paper aeroplane, build a Lego car and name the ten biggest dinosaurs and you will never be left out!"

[Ipadmad]

I'm sort of getting my head around it to be honest.
Ds1 and Ds2 are gorgeous and I just need to look at them to bring me back to reality. I have to also remember how lucky I am.
Thank you for posting.
Pray, I'm thinking of you, fingers crossed for you!!x

[aabroo]

Good luck, Hope you hear BLUE.

[4Giffins]

Cant wait for an update! Stalking!! :fx:

[4 blues~hopingforpink~]

Goodluck! I hope u hear blue! Fingers and toes crossed for you!

[prayforaboy]

It's a girl

[Adia]

Oh honey, sorry you didn't hear blue. I have been their twice and I know how it hurts.

Their is nothing like a sister and you will love seeing your girls be sisters.

Have a good cry and take your time to cope!

Big hugs!

[cvd]

It's a girl

Aw, I'm really sorry you didn't hear boy. I was routing for you. Do something nice for yourself today, hope you're doing okay.

[4Giffins]

Oh pray..Im sorry you didnt hear boy! How are you handling it? I will say that giving my daughter a sister was the best gift ever! I never had one and Im so happy that they will have eachother in life! I never knew how great it would be and love watching them interact from day to day. As you said regarding you first DD the disapointment you feel now will seem so silly when the precious babe is here! Try not to let others get you down, I know how hard it is!!

[Pearl327]

Congratulations on your 2nd daughter. Sisters are great. I should know I have 5 of my own and 6 sisters in laws. I will definitely be hoping for a girl next time. I hope your family are all excited for you.

[Ipadmad]

Pray, thinking of you. I hope you're ok. Congratulations xx

[prayforaboy]

i m sad...and shocked.

[Ipadmad]

Oh pray, I can totally understand how you are feeling right now. Such a mix of emotions isn't it. I feel so exhausted today, from the stress of today. Cruel twist of fate, me hearing boy and you hearing girl. But everything happens for a reason, I really believe that. And you know that in your hearts, your little girl will take such a special place in your heart and you wouldn't swap her for the world. I grew up one of three girls and its the one thing that gives me peace with having 3 boys. It is wonderful growing up with same sex siblings. Take care x

[prayforaboy]

I m trying to get past denial ... I took off from work n now crying for loss of son I will never have. I m okay with my lil baby girl but sad about not having my boy. This is our last for sure.

[dloui128]

Congratulations on your little girl, I am so sorry you didn't hear boy and I am sure nothing I say can change the way you feel but having two girls really is awesome, my girls are the bestest of friends and I am so glad they will have each other when they get older and start having babies of their own, it is definitely a special bond they have

[cvd]

I m trying to get past denial ... I took off from work n now crying for loss of son I will never have. I m okay with my lil baby girl but sad about not having my boy. This is our last for sure.

Ah I know exactly how you feel. This is our second boy and also our last baby for sure (DH is getting a vasectomy after I am recovered from my csection so there is definitely no chances lol). It's tough at first but as each day goes by you'll get more and more excited.

[Princess of Pink]

Congratulations on your little girl, sorry you didn't hear boy. Sisters really are wonderful!

[prayforaboy]

I can't believe it but I am doing much better than an hour ago.... I am buying into the idea that it a girl... I will be fine with two daughters.

[aabroo]

Of course you'll be fine. I am so sorry you didnt get your little boy.:hugs:

[4Giffins]

I can't believe it but I am doing much better than an hour ago.... I am buying into the idea that it a girl... I will be fine with two daughters.

Thats great to hear! Your family will be complete and even if its not societies idea of the pigeon pair, its still a perfect pair to me! This is silly but even sometimes when I think of or see families that have one of each I feel sorry for their children because they will never experience a bond like my girls have!!

[peonymama]

I agree 4Giffins! If I only had 2 I'd want two of the same for that reason exactly. My boys are the best of friends!

[prayforaboy]

I think it will take some for me to get past my dream of having a son. Yesterday I could not sleep.......constantly thinking about my gender desire.

[Ipadmad]

Pray, I slept really badly too. I woke up loads and each time, I just re-remembered that I'm not carrying a girl. It's really hard to come to terms with and everywhere I look, there are baby girls!

However, I do feel less sad today than yesterday overall. I'm just hoping it continues to get easier each day.

Hope you're ok x

[prayforaboy]

all of my friends are having boy.... and I AM JEALOUS... I am going through a very rough day... NOW I know what is a real gender disappointment. Even random people around me are having boys..... but me. I am just clueless and mad myself for nor going hightech in the first place.

[dloui128]

all of my friends are having boy.... and I AM JEALOUS... I am going through a very rough day... NOW I know what is a real gender disappointment. Even random people around me are having boys..... but me. I am just clueless and mad myself for nor going hightech in the first place.

is HT an option for you if you want to go for a 3rd?

[The Anchor]

So sorry prayforaboy...GD is a hairy beast. HUGS.

[juneluv11]

So sorry about not getting a boy. I've got 2 DD and they are so good together! Once she comes, I'm sure you won't look back! Congrats!

[ocean]

OP - I've felt the same self-anger/sadness with myself for not going HT for my 2nd. I think many of us don't know how we'll feel until we're there and FEEL it. Regret is a bitter pill. Does it make you want up try for a 3rd like it has me? With HT. 3 just wasn't the plan AT ALL though...and I wonder if I'm going too far with this sadness of mine.

[KidAtHeart]

Well, I did go HT for our fourth... and it didn't work. We had two cycles and neither reached the retrieval stage. So we spent a ton of money - but on the other hand, I can truly say we tried everything. We just couldn't do any more cycles. It is too expensive and too stressful. I'm pregnant now - naturally. I am 30 weeks along and didn't find out... though yesterday we had an ultrasound and I have an envelope with the gender taunting me. I think I've decided to wait one more week until after my baby shower, and then find out privately with my husband. I really do want the surprise, but it's probably more important in the scheme of things to find out and have to time to adjust to the probable reality of four boys. Four boys, wow!! Never thought that would happen! I never thought four kids would happen, period! But here we are. btw - this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned, but it was a last ditch effort to try. I was about to get an IUD put in and move on. I have to think this little person really was meant to be a part of our family!

[KidAtHeart]

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post. My point is that even going HT is not a guarantee of getting your desired gender. Yes, if you make it all the way through you are pretty much guaranteed gender, but a lot can happen on the way for it to be unsuccessful. It's a long, hard, expensive road. Don't beat yourself up for not doing going through it.

[ocean]

KidatHeart - (and I'm hijacking a bit too) - you're giving good thoughts, thanks. I try to tell myself that if I'd ever even gotten to the consult stage before, I wouldn't have continued. I thought at the time I was okay with either gender after multiple m/c. I thought at the time that whatever I got was 'meant to be'. And even as my doctor said, 'you just get what you get.' My DH wasn't comfortable with anything other than natural conception and said he'd blame me and the process if the child had any problems. And as you say - it's clearly a long, hard, expensive road. The only way it'll happen with #3 is if I REALLY still want this in 6+ months.

[KidAtHeart]

HT is like going through a rabbit hole. Even the consult is a couple hundred bucks. What was the hardest for me was having to keep the whole thing a secret. Very stressful. Now I am SO glad I kept it quiet. It actually makes it easier to keep other things a secret now (I'm pretty much an open book most of the time). But I've come to realize that some things are really just none of other people's business.

If your husband's not on board, then there's your answer. You really need the support going through HT.

Having said all this, I don't regret going HT. It answered any questions I would ever have on the issue. If this baby is a boy again, I won't have any 'what ifs' - the gender is totally out of my control.