anyone else out there!!

[jen75]

I have always wanted a dd. i have 3 ds, 17, 13, 10. GD has not gone away. I love my boys so much, but i stand on the rugby pitch through love and hate every minute. i am sick of hearing stories about battles, robbers and i am sick of modern warfare, black ops and camo wear. i want to look after my labrador puppy on the wee, listen to stories of rainbows and princesses, watch ballet and instead of doing yet another boy party i want to do a party i enjoy too. This is not going away, it hasn't passed or got easier with time. i am an only child of an only child on my mothers side and my father has a brother, my mother was was diagnosed with cancer last year and i am faced with the very real prospect of being surrounded by nothing but boys. I know they love me but they do not understand me at all and their boy efforts actually bring me more pain. and of course lots of guilt as having GD of course makes you feel that you are a terrible person. i have been for 1 high tec sway BFN and dare not try naturaly just now as i feel that i would rather have nothing than another boy and i do not think i could do another 20 years of raising boys. I long for some peace in my life and i am destroying my relationships with those around me. i work with children in the Early years and so i am faced every day with the differences there so clearly are between the sexes. i am still working, but will not see anyone who has a dd on a personal level its too hard. I keep thinking if you just try you may get her this time, but i secretly think it will never happen for me. it is very hard to write this but i have recieved support here and read the posts of like minded people and hope you will not judge me too harshly fro something that of course i would change if i could. no one wants to feel like this.
Thanks for reading.

[Thorz300]

I'm sorry to hear this.... I'm pg with baby #4 but don't know gender yet! I feel I just can't make girls. It's hard for me because I have 5 siblings ant they ALL have girls! 1 of my sisters has 4 girls no boys and the other has 2 girls no boys, why can't I have 1 ???
I wish there was a magic pill we could all take that would ensure we get our DG! Sorry again for your pain!!

[Mrs_P]

I wish i knew what to say but i do understand where you are, for me i tried so hard to beat my gd and i thought i was getting there but i never truly got over the idea of not having a daughter - even though i still don't actually believe it will happen for me especially with all of the problems we have had along the way.

I love my boys more than anything in the world but that uncomplete feeling for me was just too much - i had to try again. If it is something that is so important to you would another try at ht not be an option - not very many women fall pregnant on their first go but a lot seem to catch on the second or third cycle. I know money must be a big hurdle but if it is something you have been through before at least you have a hubby on your side and know how it all works maybe it is worth another shot for something that seems to be very important to you (it was something my hubby was against but i would have tried)

[Lisa Wright]

Hi
All I can say is I feel exactly the same. I have 3 boys 15, 13 and 4 and I am going for pgd this year in Cyprus and am hoping and praying it will work as I really can't imagine never having a daughter it's a heartbreaking thought. I have just returned from a holiday with my mom and I also want that kind of relationship so bad. So you really aren't the only one so don't feel bad xx

[jark22]

I had a very hard time when I found out #3 (this baby) was another boy. My mom died from leukemia almost 11 months ago. My little guy will be born 9 days after the 1 year anniversary of her death. I only have a brother.....no sisters - and my grandmother died almost 3 years ago. I am close to my SIL but she lives in England.....as do my nieces. I am surrounded by penises..... I will never ever have a mother daughter relationship again. However, I am now super excited for my third little guy. I feel like I have gotten over my GD for now. I'm not super girly or like really girly things anyway (and if I want to do something girly- I have friends to go with me). But, I'm worried about what life will be like when these boys are grown. Everyone says "A girl is yours for life- A boy is yours till he finds a wife". I am determined to be happy with what I've been given. It is hard to know that I will never get the experience of a daughter though.....

[jen75]

Ladies thank you for your words of support and encouragement. If we had the money i would try high tec again, but sadly not. I am also upset because we went to Dogus and i now realise having found this site post treatment that this is not a good place to have gone and feel our money was wasted I wonder if i can bear to try swaying again, and potentially sign my self up for blue and rugby for another 20 years, seeing as it has not worked for me in the past. I would just keep going, but because of complications i have had my 3 DSs by c section so this would have to be the last. I am thinking of taking Clomid as i have fertility and miscarriage issues anyway. what does anyone think? My last sway was a while ago and there is much more info now and i have the help and knowledge of many many ladies through this forum and plan to try to be as informed as possible before making any decisions. I would love to hear from any of you as often when you are the person living it you cannot make the best decision, but people looking in have a better perspective. Thanks for reading,

[Pink rose]

Hi I totally understand how you feel, I have 2 boys & am terrified of swaying incase it fails - I have decided to go to cyprus genesis this summer for ivf pgd. I also feel the older my boys get my gd is getting worse the longing, emptiness & desperation I feel to have a daughter is unreal so I decided on high tech. We aren't rich by any means but I am doing this praying it works I need to find peace in my life & enjoy my family dont want to look back with regrets. My dh wants me to sway again & then go high tech if it dosent work out, I explained to him if we get a daughter & try again I wouldn't mind another son I just need one girl he thinks I'm crazy but it's my hearts desire. I can't spend my life feeling this way I hate gd and the pain it brings I just want to be happy x

[sugarplum]

Hi, I can relate to your story so much! Feel like the outsider in my house sometimes. I'm pregnant with boy #3, and very hopeful that I can make peace with never having a daughter - but, honestly, I fear that won't happen. My husband wants to have a 4th child but there are so many reasons not to. If by some miracle I could be guaranteed a girl next time (without going HT), I reckon I probably would go for it. It's a tough one....I'm investigating HT but doubt I will consider it due to my age.