It Finally Happened...

[Sihaya]

Someone used the girl name we have had our hearts set on for 6 years (since I was pregnant with #1). The same name my 5yo calls the next baby by even though I'm not pregnant yet. The name I hear when I imagine calling out to my daughter.

The person who used it is my best friend from middle school who lives an hour away. We don't really see each other or hang out more than once every couple of years, so it's likely it won't be a problem for us to still use the name. But, man, I didn't expect it to hurt so much. We don't know any other kids IRL who have the same names as our boys and I was trying to ignore that our girl name has been steadily climbing in popularity ever since we chose it.

(Sorry if this isn't the right place for a vent like this. I had a lot of trouble deciding where to put it. Didn't put it in Baby Names because that's a forum for pregnant ladies and I'm not.)

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so so sorry. :( I totally understand!!!

[ThePack]

Totally know how you feel. When I was pregnant with DD#1 my husband and I only agreed on 1 name (and it was the only girl name I liked).

When I was 4 months pregnant, our friends named their daughter that name (we had never talked about it-just a coincidence).

So I let my husband pick our DD#1's name. By the time DD#2 came, we had moved out of state, so we went ahead and used the name I really liked. What's funny is the name fits her better than it would've fit DD#1.

[dloui128]

That stinks! It's good that she doesn't live close so you can still use the name, but I imagine it still stings. You never know though, one day when you get your little girl you might look at her and the name you had thought you were going to use all these years just doesn't fit anymore and something else comes to you :)

[Pangea]

I'm sorry, it must really sting. Apparently my mum did that to my aunt, my aunt had two boys and was going to call her daughter my name if she ever had one. A year after I was born she did have a girl but she called her something else.

[ELP]

Maybe take it as a good sign that shes getting closer! So the next announcement of that name will be yours:)

[BabyGirl4Me]

I'm really sorry to hear that! DH really likes a girl name that someone else in our family wanted to use, but she's having a boy. I told him that I wouldn't agree to using that name because she wanted to use that name. You just don't do that to people.

That was really not cool of that lady to do that to you. Can't wait till you get your DD. You can still use that name, or maybe your baby will just let you know what she wants her name to be. We had a different name picked out for DS originally my DH wanted to use, but when I saw him on the ultrasound, the only name that would work for him was the name we gave him, lol. Good luck and hope you feel better. :HH:

[atomic sagebrush]

I did just want to mention that if you love a name you should use it even if it's getting more popular. Firstly because there are so many names out there now, even the most popular names aren't really that common because as a percentage of names, even then no. 1 name isn't used that often. And secondly because you can pick a really unusual name and over the course of a few years, it suddenly becomes very popular. This happened to us with our oldest sons' name, Wyatt. people thought we were insane when we named him that but now it's one of the most popular names.

[Sihaya]

Maybe take it as a good sign that shes getting closer! So the next announcement of that name will be yours:) What a great way to look at it! I really hope that is the case.


That was really not cool of that lady to do that to you. Can't wait till you get your DD. You can still use that name, or maybe your baby will just let you know what she wants her name to be. We had a different name picked out for DS originally my DH wanted to use, but when I saw him on the ultrasound, the only name that would work for him was the name we gave him, lol. Good luck and hope you feel better. :HH: We haven't shared our girl's name with very many people, and this person had no idea, so she didn't do anything wrong. Since we grew up together and have similar tastes, I understand why she chose the name, I just didn't expect it. It's been a rough week, and this was just the last straw, I think. (The fact that it's her 2nd daughter isn't helping matters.)

We picked a different name for DS#1 after we saw him, but we named DS#2 exactly what we had been planning to, so I know it could go either way.


I did just want to mention that if you love a name you should use it even if it's getting more popular. Firstly because there are so many names out there now, even the most popular names aren't really that common because as a percentage of names, even then no. 1 name isn't used that often. And secondly because you can pick a really unusual name and over the course of a few years, it suddenly becomes very popular. This happened to us with our oldest sons' name, Wyatt. people thought we were insane when we named him that but now it's one of the most popular names. Thanks, Atomic! I am a huge name nerd and have spreadsheet with 6 different tabs tracking popularity trends and all kinds of things. I know a name can surge suddenly and there's nothing you can do about it, but I'm doing everything in my power to prevent naming them something that will make them Emma M. in a classroom full of Emmas. My name is Stephanie and I was never the only one with my name in any class or group. Even now, there are 5 of us in my moms' group at church.

[BabyGirl4Me]

Thanks for clearing that up Sihaya. I thought she was stealing your name out of spite or something. Still sucks that someone else grabbed the name and I can relate the agony of finding out someone else is getting yet another girl when you yourself are longing for your 1st daughter. That alone is enough to make you crazy. I have a popular name too and was always known by a last initial, which I hated, but I got over it and still finished grade school relatively unscathed. ;)

I do hope your baby girl is on her way to you right now, and hopefully you'll either get to use the name you love so much anyway, or maybe another name you like better will unexpectedly come your way. Good luck!

[Funkyfry]

The same happened to me!! I went ahead and used it anyway.

[Becca.lms]

I definitely understand! That's why we haven't told anyone our girls name. My sister outright tells me she's taking my name if she has a girl.

[Sweet mummy]

I'd still use the name!

For my DS1 I had my heart set on Lucas and my friend in Australia named her DS1 the same name so I had to choose another name. Then she had a DD and called her Ella....the exact same name I would have chosen for DS2 if he was a girl!!! We'd never had a discussion about names so it wasn't malicious but just the weirdest coincidence ever!! On another note for DS2 we did use another friends son's name but with a different spelling and I asked her if it was ok first...she was honoured!


If I ever have a DD I'm still going to consider Ella :)

[The Anchor]

Ouch that stinks. My dear grandmother's name was Isabella, and I always loved it. My best friend knew too, and when she was pregnant with her girl, actually asked me if it would be okay if she used it (it was just starting to get popular). I wasn't even married yet, so I told her to go ahead, but it still stung. Honestly, she might have used it even I'd said no.

I'm not sure what the name is, but is there any way you can switch up the spelling, or add something on the end? I remember my girlfriend was all miffed that someone took her name, but she turned Ella into Aala (pronounced Ayla).

[Becca.lms]

I'd still use the name!

For my DS1 I had my heart set on Lucas and my friend in Australia named her DS1 the same name so I had to choose another name. Then she had a DD and called her Ella....the exact same name I would have chosen for DS2 if he was a girl!!! We'd never had a discussion about names so it wasn't malicious but just the weirdest coincidence ever!! On another note for DS2 we did use another friends son's name but with a different spelling and I asked her if it was ok first...she was honoured!


If I ever have a DD I'm still going to consider Ella :)
My sons middle name is Lucas and Ella was one of our girl choices!

[Sweet mummy]

My sons middle name is Lucas and Ella was one of our girl choices!

Excellent choices ;)

[HopefulMonster]

Aargh that sucks!! Even worse as you can't even be mad because she didn't do it on purpose! Things like that really bother me. Someone we know just bought their little kid the exact same swimsuit I was going to get mine so now I have to choose another one an I am majorly irritated lmao!!

It's funny though because some people just don't care. A close friend used the same middle name my I gave mine for theirs without a second thought.

[Sihaya]

I'm not sure what the name is, but is there any way you can switch up the spelling, or add something on the end? I remember my girlfriend was all miffed that someone took her name, but she turned Ella into Aala (pronounced Ayla). There is no alternate spelling or changing it at all, but the upside is that it is a name with 3-4 nickname choices and they seem to have chosen a nickname that I don't like as much. That's also the reason I think we will go with the name no matter what she looks looks like, because she is likely to look like one of our 4-5 choices for what we'll be calling her.


It's funny though because some people just don't care. A close friend used the same middle name my I gave mine for theirs without a second thought. Yeah, sometimes I wish I cared a lot less. I would agonize over something like that for months and then, if I decided to use the name, I would be self-conscious and worried that they were upset with me about it.

So, it is still weird to have "our" name pop up on my Facebook feed every day. I am hoping ELP was right and it was some kind of sign that our little girl is on her way since the day my friend's baby was born was CD1 of the cycle we conceived! :running:

[atomic sagebrush]

I hope I'm not the only one dying to know what this name is!! :)

[Sihaya]

My lips are sealed until a baby girl is in my arms! :)

In other name-related news, SIL just (knowingly) stole one of our top boy names for the baby she is having in August. She stole her first son's middle name from us too, merely a week after I mentioned the name to her in passing. Then, to add insult to injury, after she stole it she misspelled it! BIL does nothing but make fun of my sons' names, and I want to just ask him, "If you hate our name choices so much, why on earth does your wife keep taking them?"

[bunnywabbit]

When my sister was due with DD1 she was going through names with the family, I mentioned Brooke as a possible name. 'Oh no... don't like that, it's... blah...'. Brooke Ella was born eight weeks later. My brother really liked the name Summer for a girls name for when he eventually married and had kids. My sister used to always comment on '...why would you want to call your kid that?!' (ok, my brother wants/wanted to call his daughter Summer Quinn, but she turned her nose up at both names). Of course, she beat my brother to it - when she had DD2 guess what she was named? Go figure!

Me? I think DH and I are going to stick with more traditional names, although DH did think it'd be an awesome idea to give DD my name as a middle name (Tannya). Hate hate hate my name, especially when I was little at school - I had a 'weird name that nobody could say properly and nobody could spell...' My middle name's no better!