Advice needed!

[shiningstar]

I have two boys and I am pregnant with a surprise baby. I've gone back and forth on rather to find out or have a delivery surprise. I found out with both my boys. I've finally decided I need to know so I can cope with my feelings before the baby is born. My ultrasound is set for April 24th.. Eek!! I think I will have them put the results in an envelope and open it later that night. I was thinking about having my 8 year old read it to us over dinner. Not 100% on that because part of me just wants to open it alone so I don't have to fake emotions.

Anyway, here is where I need advice..
I told myself that I didn't want any pressure on having to tell others about the gender. However I accidentally told my mom the ultrasound date. She kept asking me everytime we talked on the phone. I can't believe I let it slip! She asked me today if I would call her right after we find out. Aghh!!!! I do not need this pressure. If it's a girl, I would LOVE to call her but if it's a boy, I need time. I have only 5 days until my ultrasound. I feel like I need to cover myself now just in case I hear boy. If I make up some story on the day I'm supposed to find out, I'm afraid she will suspect that something is up. I've thought about telling her they had to reschedule the u/s. Of course it will be torture having to wait to tell her if it does happen to be a girl but it's probably more important to have time to process hearing it's a boy. What would you do?

I REALLY wish I had just kept my big mouth shut. LOL!

[ocean]

I would just tell her the ultrasound date changed. Office called, they had to move the appt. End of story. You don't need the stress when you're walking out of the appt, of when/if you're going to call her. If it's a girl, and you really wanted to, you could always tell her the office moved the appt up and -surprise!- here's the news. No one needs stress on the day of the appt.

[4Giffins]

You could also just say they couldnt tell because the legs were closed and then take as much time as you needed. Then just be honest with her and tell her you needed time to process it on your own before answering to everyone! This is what we are planning to do as well. I havent made my appt yet but when I do Im not telling anyone! I threatend to not even tell DH! LOL..I told my Mom I am considering this plan and she is also asking me if I have made my appt yet. Even though I tell her everything and she has been there the last two times and Im sure will feel slightly left out I think she does and will understand that we just need this time to ourselves right now. It is nothing personal!! The pressure is huge and we need to be able to focus on ourselves and our new baby and not have to hear critisim from anyone!!

[Cinss]

I am just assuming that you and your Mom are close? I would just be honest with her, I'm sure she probably knows you would love to hear girl and if not it will be hard news for you to deal with, won't she be supportive either way? I think your gut feeling that she will know something is up if you tell her a fib about it, so it might just be easier for you if you tell her straight.

[KidAtHeart]

If you think your Mom could help you sort through your GD if you hear boy, then tell her. If not, you are perfectly within your rights to postpone telling her. You could even tell her sooner than you tell the rest of the world if she is the type to keep it to herself.

I confided in my Mom when I had bad GD after DS3, but I regret it now. She really just doesn't understand and now she worries about me. I don't think it's judgment so much as she just doesn't want me to be unhappy. My Mom and I are close and I really thought she would understand - but then she has three girls (and two boys) and just doesn't get it. My sister has two boys so I confide in her now, lol!

[ocean]

Cinss makes a good point & I've rethought my answer. It all depends on the relationship you have with your mom. With my mom, I'd just tell her that she's stressing me out and to please not to ask about the u/s or call me on the day -- I'll call her when I'm ready. If your mom would understand that, it's better for both of you. Keeping track of fibs just adds its own stress!

[shiningstar]

Thanks everyone! We are close but nobody (except dh) knows the extent of my gender desire & the gd I experienced with ds2. I want to keep it that way because it makes me feel vulnerable for others to know.. even my mom.

I'm going to call her on Monday and tell her it was rescheduled for later. My doctor's office has done that before so it's feasible. I'll just tell her when I'm ready. For some reason I told everyone right after I found out with ds2 and it was really hard. I desperately need time to myself, if I found out this baby is a boy.

I appreciate the advice!!! I'll let y'all know how the ultrasound goes. I'm sooo nervous!

[mommymachine]

I was really glad I was honest with my mom with DS3. The support I got was amazing. I was very sad and it was very helpful to here her say how much fun three little boys will be and encouraging stuff like that. When I got pregnant with DD before we knew gender she said "well 4 little boys will be even more fun!" It was nice to have her encouragement right away.

[shiningstar]

I decided not to lie about the date changing. My mom called this morning to tell me about a dream she had last night. In the dream I called to tell her I was having another boy. She told me that another boy would be great and that she's happy either way. I told her that we are having them put the gender results in an envelope and I'm not sure when I will open it. She told me to take my time and tell her when I'm ready. I feel relieved that I can have time to myself to go through this.. I find out tomorrow! :)

[KidAtHeart]

Best of luck to you!! I hope you hear what you want to!

[Yuzu]

I'm just checking in to see if you've heard anything yet.

[Funkyfry]

That was nice of your mum to say what she did in the phone all. Best of luck

[Adia]

Checking in to see what you found out. It sounds like your mom will be understanding no matter what.
Let us know! We understand the anxiety!!

[shiningstar]

Oops, I just saw this.. We are having another boy! I had some sadness at first but I'm coming around to the idea of 3 boys. :)