Why do you want your desired Gender?

[1+2+3boys]

I thought this could be a fun thread or even deep and meaningful for some or just a way to get to know other members.

Anyway, What are your reasons for wanting a boy/girl? Appariently not everyone has GD so for those who do, why do you think you have it? :crawl:

I think I really want a girl because I was never close to my Mum and am quite disapointed with the Mother/Daughter relationship I was given so I feel I need to have a daughter to create my own special relationship to help heal and make up for the one I missed out on. So often whilst growing up I would think, I would be such a better Mum to a daughter than my Mum!
I know I don't need a daughter to prove it but my desire for one is so so strong.

I'd love to hear your stories :)

[1+2+3boys]

I must admit I'd love to do the pretty dress thing too. Reasons do not always have to be deep and meaningful

[vickyaust]

I have the same mother/daughter dreams as you. I too remember growing up thinking how different I would mother my daughter. It never occurred that I might only have boys. I have two boys and am now pregnant with my HT daughter :-)

[4BOYS]

Mine is that i have a really close relationship with my mum and i want to have the same relationship with my own daughter, and i dont want my mothers/grandmothers ect maternal lineage to end with me because i am the last girl in the family no sisters ,no girl cousins ect , if that makes any sense, i guess it sounds silly but it is important to me that i have a daughter to carry our maternal line :happy:

[motherofboys]

I have silly little reason and more meaningful reasons.
The main one being that there isn't a great history of mother and daughter relationships in my family, my Mum and Nan didn't have it, my Mum and I didn't have it. I know the mistakes they made, my Mum made the exact same ones as my Nan and I want the chance to put things right for myself and not repeat that history and to experience that relationship how it SHOULD be.
DH wants a Daddys little girl. DS1 has wanted a sister for years. So I want to give them that.
I feel a girl will complete our family.
A daughter would open up a whole new world for me. Different cloths and interests and toys.
The cute dresses and the chance to do her hair. (I know that she could hate all that stuff and not be girly at all, I'm not and she'd have 3 older brothers lol)
I want to use the name I have had for the past 8 years. DH uses it and it makes me want to cry because I'm so sure I'll have a boy and I want to shout at him to stop using it, she doesn't exist and will never exist!
If this baby is a boy my children may end up having to name it as I have no names I like left now LOL And if it comes to that the poor child will be called Jabba the Hut or Rabbit Face going by their suggestions so far.

[1+2+3boys]

Mother of boys, I love how you say having a daughter would open up a brand new world for you. I feel the same.

I wonder if being adopted has anything to do with it too. I have a nice relationship with my birth Mum and for some reason feel like I need to have a girl for her too. I feel sad for her because she chose to give me a loving couple at the chance for me to have a better life even though she wanted me so badly and then when she went to start a family again, had three boys. She never got her daughter but did have the chance to have one which must make things even harder for her.

[zebaniee]

I always wanted a brother and I don't want my daughters to have the same feeling of missing out.

[pinkin2011]

My GD is due to the fact that I had a terrible relationship with my mum and still dont have a great relationship with her.. she suffered prom depression when i was born and just never bonded with me so i would love to be able to have a mother daughter relationship of my own.
Another reason why my GD is HUGE is because I would love to be able to give my husband a daughter and my in laws a grand daughter as they lost their only daughter due to cancer which was tragic. they had 2 boys then their daughter and after she passed they tried for another girl but got 2 more boys so I would love to be able to do that even for my husband... I think this reason outweighs my first one..

[Mum to three girls]

I'm going to be honest and say that before we had children we had a girl preference but after three of them I wanted to experience both genders and DH was DESPERATE for a son. As the big girls have become older they're a bit more "girly" and I think he is craving that father-son (stereotypical) relationship.

[iluvmy4sons]

I always wanted both genders. I wanted to have the relationships with both. When I was growing up I saw me with 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls. I really wanted my 1st to be a girl because I had him so young and had a rocky relationship with his father. My 2nd it didn't matter and my 3rd a little. When I got pregnant with my 4th and found out it was a boy my GD set in big time. Carson was supposed to be me last. I did talk to my husband and we did try one more time. I also wanted a girl to dress her in pretty things and do girl things. I also wanted a daughter for my husband to have that experience.

[BoysMamaTTC4aGirl]

I want a girl because I see the amazing bond between my sons and DH b/c they want to be just like him and do everything just like Daddy does and I would love to have that same type of relationship with a little girl. Also, when boys grow up and get married, it just seems that mom kind of has to take a major step back so as not to "overstep" with the daughter in law. But I feel like you can always "mother" your little girl, especially if/when she has children of her own.

I have to admit though, I'm completely overwhelmed at the thought of putting together cute outfits and making sure her hair is cute all the time, etc. I'm a very girly person, but I've gotten so used to taking care of little boys, that all that extra effort seems very daunting. :worry:

[1+2+3boys]

Yeah I also don;t want to be the MIL too. I'd love to talk to my daughter about my pregnancies when she is pregnant and give her advice and be the maternal grandmother.
I also really want my partner to experience having a daughter. He is really good looking with amazing green eyes, dark hair and china doll like skin. It is a bit shallow and vain but I want to see what a girl of his looks like cos I think she could be a real beauty. His two older sons are really really handsome and you can see girls looking at them.
I don't care if she looks like me though, I just want a girl!

[4BOYS]

That is another reason too ,i dont want to always just be the MIL and the "other" grandparent

[sbowman]

I really don't know for sure why I want a girl. I just want one of each gender. I'd be swaying for a boy if my DS was a DD.

[Rainbow baby]

I have always wanted both genders!! I think you want what you cant have most of the time, everybody I have met with curly hair for example wants strait and vice versa. I am one of those... I want one because I don't have one, if it was reversed I would be obsessive for blue ( I am 100% sure of this) and I REALLY want to prove all those NOSEY busy body's wrong who keep saying I will never get a girl, I am not girly enough to be a good girl mum!
I also REALLY REALLY want to give my very close and loving parents a granddaughter as they have made no secret about wanting one :( I feel they deserve a granddaughter as much as I deserve a daughter.
My partner wants his own little girl to "protect" as well!

[I Love Ladybugs]

I have always wanted both genders!! I think you want what you cant have most of the time, everybody I have met with curly hair for example wants strait and vice versa. I am one of those... I want one because I don't have one, if it was reversed I would be obsessive for blue ( I am 100% sure of this) and I REALLY want to prove all those NOSEY busy body's wrong who keep saying I will never get a girl, I am not girly enough to be a good girl mum!
I also REALLY REALLY want to give my very close and loving parents a granddaughter as they have made no secret about wanting one :( I feel they deserve a granddaughter as much as I deserve a daughter.
My partner wants his own little girl to "protect" as well!

We almost have the exact same reasons...the only difference is that my parents have granddaughters from both of my siblings now that the SIL and brother had a girl last year after 2 boys! I always wanted the chance to raise both and if we had 2 girls, I would have swayed my heart out for blue!!

[bunnywabbit]

TTC a girl mainly for family balancing on DH's side. DH is really looking forward to the father/daughter bond. That, and he says he'd love a mini version of me. Not sure that's entirely a good thing! :oops:

[ELP]

I can't wait to be the MIL!!!!!! This isn't why I want blue but its a great bonus now you ladies have mentioned it lol!!!!

I have wanted add some more blue to the family as DH said I can have as many children as I want just as long as I kept the blues ahead of the girls! When the girls were storming ahead he was looking happy to pull the plug, but a little bit of, well generally bullying! from me meant I was lucky enough to have now maybe? have evened it up, meaning I am free to maybe sneak a few more;)

MIL, I cannot wait!!!!!!!

[Longingforgirl]

I haven't read any other answers yet, but my story is just like yours. As a child, I feel I have tried so hard to be close to my Mum, but she didn't care and didn't seem like she wanted a girl. I always admired other girls having a great relationship with their moms and felt like I was missing out on something.
Having a daughter is the only chance I have now to have such a mother/daughter relationship which seems to be so special.
I hope your dream will still come true!!! Wishing you the best of luck for your sway!

[1+2+3boys]

I haven't read any other answers yet, but my story is just like yours. As a child, I feel I have tried so hard to be close to my Mum, but she didn't care and didn't seem like she wanted a girl. I always admired other girls having a great relationship with their moms and felt like I was missing out on something.
Having a daughter is the only chance I have now to have such a mother/daughter relationship which seems to be so special.
I hope your dream will still come true!!! Wishing you the best of luck for your sway!

thanks :) I feel like I have a hole in my heart that only having a daughter could fix, as much as I love all my sons

[boys,boys.boys!!!]

Ive never been someone who wanted more than 1 girl, i always imagined having 2 boys then a girl. My mom died when Ds2 was 8 months old and although i have always wanted a girl i think the desire to have 1 got more after that, i think more than anything i want to replace the mother/daughter bond i have lost. I see my sister in laws doing thing with their mom's and their own daughters too and it breaks my heart to even think i may never get to experience that :-(

[1+2+3boys]

Ive never been someone who wanted more than 1 girl, i always imagined having 2 boys then a girl. My mom died when Ds2 was 8 months old and although i have always wanted a girl i think the desire to have 1 got more after that, i think more than anything i want to replace the mother/daughter bond i have lost. I see my sister in laws doing thing with their mom's and their own daughters too and it breaks my heart to even think i may never get to experience that :-(

Same here, I only ever wanted one daughter. I always dreamed of having two boys and a girl and I think if I had to choose all one or the other it would be boys but it breaks my heart thinking I will never get to experience that special Mother daughter relationship. It must be hard having lost your Mum :( I remember someone losing their Mum who had all boys who was done having kids and she was devastated that she would never have a Mother/Daughter relationship again. Hugs to you and I hope you get your girl

[katewantsagirl]

I want a daughter to dress her up cute, have a mini me, i want my husband to have a daddys girl. I think he would fall in love with a girl. Hes in loce with our bots but i just think it would be different with a girl

[KidAtHeart]

It's funny, some people had a terrible relationship with their mother and want a chance to rectify it. Some people had a great relationship with their mother, and want the same thing for themselves in the future. The frilly, frivolous stuff is always mentioned, but so is the longing to have someone just 'get' you the way your boys might not (even though some boys are closer to their mothers than girls are). At the end of the day, I'm convinced it's biological. It's evolutionary. It's a force stronger than anyone of us can know. You can put a zillion reasons down, all valid because you feel them, but I really think that it's a built-in emotion. Men wanted boys to help them hunt and gather. Women wanted girls to help them care for the family. We all want a mini-me to carry on our own legacy when we're gone.

Don't be too hard on yourself - sometimes we just can't explain what the heart wants!

[annec]

I want a girl for various reasons. I have two sons and they are my universe. they are from my previous mariage and i would not want my current partner to have any comparison issues etc. Since he just wants a child and i want a girl, it works out pretty good :)
obviously i also want a girl because when my sons grow up and have their own kids, they might be closer to the maternal grandmother...so of course i want to have grandchildren that are closer to me.
besides that, having a girl is pretty scary...not looking forward to the teen years - especially since i will most likely be dealing with menopause...fun (NOT).

[ThePack]

I'll be the odd one out :)

Growing up we were a family of all girls. I was a tomboy. I did a lot of babysitting and found the boys much easier to handle for me: easier going, much cooler toys ;). Girls seemed like too much drama and emotion.

So as an adult, I just expected to have boys, with maybe 1 girl as it would be nice to experience both.

I had 2 girls. I refused to dress my oldest in anything too pink or frilly at first. I got over that eventually and have really come to appreciate my girls. My world for awhile was filled with pink, purple, glitter, and sparkles. I didn't have a great relationship with my mom, but my daughters and I have a pretty cool relationship. It's taught me a lot and has been healing in a way.

Now, as my youngest is 12 years old, I've gone through a divorce, single motherhood, and remarriage, I've just never gotten over the longing to have a boy, my buddy. We are starting HT this month to find him.

Good luck to all of us!

[dloui128]

I always wanted 1 of each like most people, I always thought before I had kids that I would have all boys probably because I was a tomboy growing up. I had a good relationship with my mother, not during my teenage years though lol it wasn't really until I was married and having kids of my own that we actually became really close. My relationship with my dad was and is indescribable, i am daddy's little girl all the way, he is my universe, I talk to him more than my mom, we still have daddy and daughter date nights and I'm 34! I confide in him and there is nothing I hide from him. So when I started trying for kids initally i wanted a daughter because I wanted my husband to experience exactlly what I had with my dad. When I had DD2 I didn't have GD but I longed for a boy because all my friends would tell me how boys love their mommies, I figured it had to be something like girls are with their dads and I wanted to experience that.

[mumof6]

i was raised by my grandparents so i never had a mother daughter relationship and was and still am not close with my grandmother either.
i dont have any close female relationships - i do not get along with my sister, my own mother has been around but i dont really think of her as a mother.
I want that mother daughter relationship that i missed out on. i have 6 boys and likely expecting a 7th boy so i will never get that chance

i would also love a little girl because my boys are always aksing for a sister and ask why they cant have one and why we have so many boys and no girls.
i feel it's important that they experience having a sister.

and lastly just a little selfishness - i want a daughter for myself
my dh has our boys to do all the guy stuff with but when it comes to who they wanna hang out with and do things with it's always dad and i'm the one left by myself

[1+2+3boys]

Not related but just adding this here since it was the last thread I started and don't want to start a new one.

I think I have made peace with myself and decided to shut up shop. Not with the intention of definitely never ever having any kids again but no plans for any more in the not so distant future. Not only is it not smart to have another in the next 2-3 years at the least because of my relationship issues but I don't think I could handle it and being totally honest with myself, I only wanted three to begin with and chose to go 4 when I didn't get a girl. My boys are hard work but the best and only work I want to do and I want to do it right.

I talked to someone recently whose lifelong dream it was to have children who never got to and it breaks her heart to this day and I know I am truely blessed with my beautiful boys. I hope I can now put my feelings of thinking I need a daughter to rest and know I am an awesome boy Mum, I grew up a tomboy so I have so much to offer them as they grow. ♥ Love my 3 boys

[fish2012]

aghhhhh i don't seem to be able to win here! i wanted a dd for me really to be first choice grannie, the wedding to plan the closeness i have with my mum etc! got preggie with twins! sadly lost one but my surviour is a princess now considering doing it all again so she can have a sister! LOL ughhhhhhhh!

I wanted all the sway stress to be over, i have my dream and now its changed to a new one - i think its partly as i feel they were both girls loss was at 15wks so not totally sure

:drama:

[Mummy-P]

I would like a son to complete our family. My husbands father was a violent man and walked out on 4 children while they were at a very young age and my DH was forced to become the man of the house and go out working from 14. He has never had a good father son relationship and I would love to have a son so he can show how he's the dad his own father could never be and do all the things he missed out on with his son and bestow his love on his boy like his old man never did on him.
My DD1 always asks me for a brother too, partly coz I think she thinks she is Peppa Pig and our DD2 is her best friend Suzy Sheep so we need a George to make us the full set!
I always see lovely boys clothes in the shops now and think I can't wait to dress my son in these. My own mum was very close to my brother too and although she was like a best friend to us girls, I think he took it the worst when she died because he was always the mummy's boy with us 2 sisters.

[JP2007]

I would love a little girl, but my reasoning is probably the opposite of many. I do not have a great relationship with my mom and am really nothing like her. I did not feel like I could tell her anything growing up and we were never close at all. She has some issues and has really caused more problems in my life when I would have loved someone to support me and lean on. I often feel like I am her mother, and wish our relationship was different. I would love a daughter so that I can raise her the way I wasn't raised, and develop that close and trusting relationship that I feel like I missed out on my whole life. I also like the idea of having someone to shop with and do girly things, that never hurts :)

[1+2+3boys]

I would love a little girl, but my reasoning is probably the opposite of many. I do not have a great relationship with my mom and am really nothing like her. I did not feel like I could tell her anything growing up and we were never close at all. She has some issues and has really caused more problems in my life when I would have loved someone to support me and lean on. I often feel like I am her mother, and wish our relationship was different. I would love a daughter so that I can raise her the way I wasn't raised, and develop that close and trusting relationship that I feel like I missed out on my whole life. I also like the idea of having someone to shop with and do girly things, that never hurts :)

I so totally understand that. I keep reminding myself that I do not need a daughter to know I would parent one better than her. It would be so nice to have one though. As far as the shopping goes, I have started to make sure I buy things for myself that are pretty since I have no daughter to buy them for, even though money is tight. Shhh, don;t tell DP!

[thehappypixi]

I'm not even sure anymore to be honest, I had GD when I found out my second was a boy, but once he was born I loved him to pieces. I guess it crept back seeing my nieces with my sister in laws, they have mini-me's and I guess I'd like one too! I'm not overly girly, at all. If I had a girl she would be getting the same hand me downs the boys did, there would be no pink or ribbons in sight, I'm not sure anyone would know it was a girl til she sprouted boobs! My boys have long hair and wear whatever they want, play with whatever they want. I'm not into gender roles for children.
I just always thought my family would be large, and I took for granted it would be mixed. After two boys I panicked a bit that I would not get the chance to raise a daughter. The things I could teach her would differ from the boys, especially when it came to relationships, her body, and eventually children of her own. That's what I'd miss if there were no daughter for me :)

[ocean]

Happypixi - Well said, and I agree totally about my possible future daughter getting the boys hand me downs! I too don't believe in gender roles for children, my oldest is in love with princesses right now and though it's fun for me to learn about something different than construction vehicles, I'm just happy if he's happy. May we both have the opportunity to raise 'both sides'.

How large a family do you want, in a perfect world?

[thehappypixi]

Four :)
I like even numbers, and I have four of everything! Four dogs, four cats, four chickens, OK - five quails and three guinea pigs, but I think the guinea pig is up the duff!
Best laid plans and all, but I think if I had a boy next, then a girl, I might go for five. If its all boys then ill stick at four, I just think if go for one last chance if I had a daughter to give her a sister, maybe?! I don't know! Long way in the future :)

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

Fish I know how you feel!!! I have never had twins, but got my dd the 3rd time around. My dream changed from getting a girl to giving her a sister. I went on to try 2 more times to give her that and came out with 2 more boys...lol. I have made peace somewhat with my dd never having a sister. I have so much on my plate with 5 kids that having another isn't an option.

I have a very close relationship with my mom. I have 1 sister that I haven't spoken to in almost a year due to her issues with alcohol and mental illness. I think I was worried about my little girl ending up feeling like an only child like I do. But my boys are so sweet and loving that I don't think she'll ever feel like she's alone.

[ocean]

Three- I think it is TOTALLY awesome that your daughter will get to say she has FOUR BROTHERS!! I dreamed of having older brothers, to protect me and watch out for me. (I had 1 sister). And she has younger bro's too - she's a lucky girl.

[1+2+3boys]

I would so go for number 4 if we had heaps of money so we could still afford good schools and me hire help with housework and never have to get a job

[CocoG]

I have a brilliant relationship with my mom, I see her most days and if not speak on the phone she's like my best friend. I just want to have the same relationship with my daughter that I have with my mom. I don't think its the same with boys - they won't want to do girly things like shopping and I'm not into sport! I always imagined having one of each so when DS2 popped out I decided straight away I wanted to try again for a girl. I love them both to bits but feel something is missing. I'd love to go out buying all the pretty girly clothes too - I said to DH if DS2 has been a girl he would have been Bankrupt, he will be anyway if we have a third!!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Loved reading all of these posts. I want a daughter so I can relate better to one of my kids. I want to be able to help them and know what they are going through and with all boys, I fear I don't have ability to relate to them completely because let's face it we are just so different. The mysteries of men will always baffle me. I fear I won't be able to help them and they won't seek guidance from me, leaving me out of the loop in my own family! It's a lonely feeling. Aside from that, one day when I am older and my kids become adults I will want that daughter around to be my friend and confidant. My mom and I are very close and she and my father are divorced. We are best friends and I can't imagine my life without her. I want to be loved like that by my kids! It's a love only a mother-daughter can have. I want a daughter to ask for my help, to appreciate what a mom does for her kids when she has her own family. Men, boys, don't understand child bearing/rearing, they don't understand the sacrifices a women makes for her children. I know since I have become a mother, I have a completely new perspective on who my mom is and how much she gave of herself. I appreciate her so much more. I want a daughter to someday remind my two beautiful sons to call me and ask me how I am ❤️.


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[Houseofblue]

Simple- because I don't have one. ;) If I didn't have a son I'd want one too.

My more superficial reason is because I want to buy pink for a change. ;)

[snipsnsnails]

I always wanted a bigger family, 4 was my limit. I just thought I would I eventually get both, but it took until #4 to get there. I had a brother, only nephews and really wanted a girl baby. My mom and I have a great relationship and look back on everything she got to do. Prom dress shopping, wedding dress shopping, painting toe nails, etc. I wanted that experience.
It really came apparent to me when I was around my mil who had 3 boys. She was really crafty and her boys loved her but to this day I still see her stare at little girls and she often gets left out because she has all boys. It really bothered me and didn't want that future, I wanted both. My daughter will be her 3rd grand daughter, but I couldn't wait to have granddaughters. I simply wanted a daughter.

[foxymrsg]

I'm very close to my mum and really want that close mother daughter relationship too! My older sis has 3 girls and my other sis has girl and boy so feel left out to! Ha!
Also DH's side is all boys for generations! Want to bring some pink in the blue! Lol Feel bad for MIL too as she had two boys and now has 5 grandsons and know she longs for there to be pink somewhere!

[vickyaust]

I also wanted a DD cause I'm not close to my mum and I crave a much better relationship with my DD.
I also wanted to give my husband a DD. I adore father/daughter relationships. He's a beautiful man and adores having her.
Now my DD is here I feel so complete as a mother. My perfect family.

[flowerlily]

The reason I want a DD is cause I lost my mum when I was 4, she had me and my brother.
My father got married twice since, and had 9 more kids one with ex and the rest with my latest stepmother.
Me and her get on sooo well, I couldn't have wished for a better stepmother, she is just the best.
But we never had that bond between mothers and daughters have, (she knows and I know).;)
She herself wanted a DD which is the reason she had all those kids (5 boys, 3 girls), but she had a DD after her first Ds, but sadly she passed away at the age of 2. And after the 4th boy she got 2 DDs in a row, and then an oops fraternal (bg) twins. :o
I've always seen her talk about wanting a DD cause she has/had a great bond/relationship with her mum.
Though she was great with me, I remember her (I was 8 when she married my father) doing my hair, dressing me in cute dresses, telling me fairy tale stories, but there was something missing...::that bond::...:(
As you can see I've had plenty of practice with kids, and I loved every minute of it, there was something so maternal about me (although, I've to admit it's never the same with your own, lol).
In fact, I still love doing my sister's hairs, taking them shopping,dressing them in cute dresses(the youngest is 7) whenever I visit them.:cool: My step mum says jokingly that she retired from all of that now she has her dreams come true!
Now, I'm pregnant with my 3rd (have 2 DS) and hoping, praying this is my DD, so I can have with her of what I've missed with my own mum.

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[2boysJustOneGirl]

With a 2 years old and a 6 month old, some days at home can be extremely trying. Those days, when I haven't had enough sleep or skipped a meal to look after one of the boys while my husband works 12 hour shifts...I look at my life and think how unrewarding all this will be. My boys won't ever understand what I have done for them as they are men, they will never have the weighted shoulders of a mom. Sometimes I think these tough days would be easier if I just had my girl, had something to look forward to other than soccer games, fishing trips and eventual complete severance of any child-mother bond once my boys marry. I will be the disliked and isolated MIL. The thought of that is heartbreaking and the absolute loneliest feeling in the world. I am the odd man out in my family. Actually beyond my family, I am quite alone as I can barely stand these women around me with daughters AND sons. I want my sons but I also want my girl...like all those other women, who take it for granted.


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[jsophia922]

I want a boy and a girl, but I want a boy first because I am the oldest of three kids (I have two brothers), and always wanted an older brother. H doesn't have any sisters, but is also the oldest of three and always wanted a little sister. We want to give our daughter an older brother, and our son a little sister. If we don't succeed it's okay, but we want to at least give it a good try :)

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I always wanted a boy then a girl and before we had any I didn't really care either way. Then our second boy came and the very harsh reality set in...I was a mother of sons. No daughter. You think it won't matter as long as your kids are healthy and happy, but trust me, all that changes. I never imagined I would end up so desperate for my daughter. I always thought I would be happy with whatever I got. It's hard when dreams are lost.


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[trifecta]

I wanted a boy and then a girl. Growing up I was the youngest in a GGBG family. My middle sister is a cousin my parents adopted and really the same age as my brother--only two months older. My sisters were really bossy and full of tricky female aggression whereas my brother treated me like a little buddy. He would let me hang out in his room and we would listen to records or he would play guitar for me. We played video games together. We would hike to a pond nearby and collect specimens for his microscope. My sister was my mother's clear, spoiled favorite. I don't think all older sisters are bad but I was afraid my background would make me afraid to bond with an oldest girl and that I would not handle sibling rivalry well. I was relieved to have a boy first. I wanted a girl next because I had also envisioned doing the activities I enjoyed as a child with a daughter, like ballet (which I still do for fitness). I also wanted a chance at a better mother-daughter relationship. My relationship with my mom is fine now but she really preferred my sister and defended her bullying. Our relationship became even more distant when I was a preteen because my mother got breast cancer and my sister became a teenage mother. My mom really checked out of our relationship first because she was sick and then because she took over raising my sister's daughter. I bought my own bras, never told her about my first period, and just didn't really have a comfortable relationship with her. I always imagined mothering my own daughter differently and "knowing" I would one day get to do that was a consoling thought. I should also throw in that for a long time before I had kids my ideal family was one boy. Coming from a family of four kids and being somewhat emotionally neglected I felt critical of larger families. I really enjoyed my oldest son so much after he was born that I knew I would have another. I thought, "Ok, I'm ready for the girl now." It just didn't work out that way.

[WillowsGirl]

I always wanted a boy then a girl and before we had any I didn't really care either way. Then our second boy came and the very harsh reality set in...I was a mother of sons. No daughter. You think it won't matter as long as your kids are healthy and happy, but trust me, all that changes. I never imagined I would end up so desperate for my daughter. I always thought I would be happy with whatever I got. It's hard when dreams are lost.


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This exactly.

[lemonade]

It's not that I mind having my 2 sweet boys, it's just that I can't imagine *never* having a girl. Since I was 5, I've been daydreaming about my future daughter. My DH's limit is 3, so now that I've had 2 boys in a row, the pressure is REALLY on, and I hate that.

I do feel lucky to have had 2 of the same gender close in age, because they'll always be friends, and my older son's adorable wardrobe is getting a second run. But there's always this feeling at the back of my mind that someone is missing.

[butterflywarbie]

from the first pregnancy i wanted a girl, and here i am 5 boys later lol, id just like to do more girly things unlike the rugby karate that ive gone to watch for the past 18 years,id also like her to have the childhood that i think i missed out on, going to ballet classes pamper partys, shes going to be so blinking spoilt and im counting down the months to go to genesis whooophooop xx