4 of a kind

[motherofboys]

I found out almost a week ago that I'm expecting boy number 4. I had prepared myself from a very obvious boy nub at 12 weeks and was fine hearing boy. I've been fine up till now but today although I feel excited for my baby boy and feel I'm beginning to bond with him I'm starting to feel a little down too. I'm sure its just a minor dip and I'll be ok again soon but I can't help hope they were wrong even though there was an obvious bulge between his legs.
I feel my family isn't complete yet but I'm not sure if another baby is on the cards for us. I didn't sway and I want to sway just one time so I can know I did everything I could but then I am scared I'd be really upset if I swayed and it failed!
It would have been so much easier to just get a girl. I think it is probably because DH brought it up last night when I was looking at baby stuff on line. Everything was blue and he started saying "you wanted to buy pink" then he apologised for being 'rubbish' and only making boys.
I just want to go back to feeling OK with my 4 boys, but I'm worried I wont get another chance.

[lollylegs]

Even with the love we have for our boys, the grief we experience for the daughter we may not meet is real and will, I imagine, come and go. Go gently with yourself and say what you need to say here, in safety. (hugs)

[motherofboys]

Thanks. I wouldn't change any of my boys for girls and I do love them so much, I just didn't think it was a lot to ask for a daughter in the mix somewhere.

[atomic sagebrush]

^^^ that is always how I felt too, I just thought, was it so much to ask for one little girl in 4 tries and 20 years?? Somehow the injustice of it was what hurt the most of anything, because I would see practically everyone have boys and girls without any effort whatsoever. Even now it gets to me sometimes because I had to wait so long and now i feel like I won't be there for her when she is a mother herself. :( Not that I would trade her for anything in the whole wide world but I wish I could have had her a few years ago instead of now when I'm old enough to be her grandmother.

I hope your little pink one is right around the corner.

[motherofboys]

Thanks, I had a bit of a melt down last night and feel better today. I feel so much worse for wanting a girl now that I know his a boy. And I want to try again but am scared of getting another boy, because then there will be no more trying again.

[Yuzu]

I was in your same situation. When I found out I was having my fourth boy I felt a little down, but I started to feel worse over time. And then I felt guilty for wanting a girl and not appreciating the fact that I was pregnant with a healthy boy. And because of my age I may not be able to get pregnant again. What's helping me is that my boys are really lovely, and if I'm blessed with another one...oh well, I'll just be the mother of wonderful sons! And I do have plenty of blue baby clothes!:bigsmile:

[motherofboys]

I'm feeling much better. Some baby clothes I ordered arrived. He doesn't really NEED anything but he deserves some stuff of his own and buying baby clothes is fun and helps LOL I've chosen the pram I want as its one of the few things we needed as the previous one wont fit in our car when the baby comes. Choosing clothes has been ok, but I also need a moses basket as I lent mine out and the person 'lost' it! And that is proving hard. I don't want to do neutral anymore with hopes the next is a girl. I'm going for blue because I think even if I did get a girl she could still use these things and I'm most likely going to get another boy if we do have another in the future so may as well face facts now and buy blue, blue, blue. BUT the blue moses baskets, especially in my price range, are quite plain and although I found a few that are OK I haven't found one I love yet, and all the girls ones are so pretty with little patterns all over them.

[Yuzu]

One of the hardest things to deal with (for me) is the fact that the girls have all these lovely colors and patterns to pick from and the boys only have blue. But I have seen some Moses baskets in pretty green patterns, which would be nice for a girl too.

[atomic sagebrush]

I also found that dressing up the boys really helped a lot with both DS 3 and 4. I found pink, lavender, and pastel yellow/green/orange stuff for my sons at old navy!! they really are doing a lot better for boys clothes than they were even just a few years ago when everything was maroon and covered in footballs. The surfer/guitar/puppy/monkey styles for little boys are just absolutely darling. When my oldest two were little, you could choose between sports team, and other sports team LOL, or Hanna Andersson that cost $50 for a little sleeper.

[a&jmummy]

You all can have my PINK dust ! have it all !
i have 2 girls and i have to tell you at first yes it's lovely picking out pretty outfits making them look beautiful !
here is what i have grown to hate !
1: you spend ages ironing their beautiful clothes , it last 20mins top ! somebody will pick them up n scrunch their clothes grrr or the inevitable they will get dirty !
2:girls take ages to get ready ! boys vest shirt , trousers socks shoes quick comb thru their hair and your out ! Girls all the bows , and frills and TIGHTS !
3:hair omg my 2 lil ladies are 5 and 3 the arguments we have when doing hair ( it hurts , i don't like it like that , chewing their hair !) drives me crazy !
4: the drama lol every kid no matter the gender has tantrums when he/she is frustated ...but with girls you would think it's the end of the world !

All this said i love my lil "DRAMA QUEENS" with all my heart !

[My Three Sons]

I am right there with ya...found out boy #4 today. I know exactly how you feel.

[zebaniee]

Congratulations on your new addition my three sons. When I found out my second child was a girl I felt grief to the point I thought I needed a counsellor. The feeling lifted, but it took me a long time to feel happy about the new addition.

This is a safe space if you need to chat.

Wishing you all the best :)

[rachel]

i totally understand you im having my third boy and cant afford to have another i just have to be grateful for what i have