shiningstar
May 17th, 2013, 03:08 PM
This is where I'm at in my GD journey..
I'm doing ok most days. I even find myself excited about my new little boy. Of course I still have pangs of what if. I'm hoping that will get better with time.
This baby was a surprise. I had thought about ttc #3 this summer, but I wasn't 100% sure. I remember thinking about swaying but then at the same time dreading that part. It was in the future so I didn't put much thought into when and how we would try for #3. I was happy & content with my 2 boys. I never visited gender sites anymore. I didn't think about gender. I didn't obsess over other families. It was sooooo nice.
Well fast forward to the beginning of this year when I found out I was pregnant. We had an oopsie around Christmas. Honestly I wasn't that worried about getting pregnant. I didn't think it would happen that easily. Well, it did. I was in sheer panic mode for a couple weeks after I got the BFP. Then I started thinking maybe, just maybe God was blessing me with a daughter. I still tried to convince myself it was a boy. However it's hard not to have some hope of getting your DG.
I found gender dreaming shortly after I got found out I was pregnant. I read about the low everything diet and got excited. As it turns out I was just finishing a semester of college when we conceived. When I started school at the end of August (4 months before I would conceive) my eating habits changed. I was eating so little. Never ate breakfast. Never snacked. Just ate 2 moderate sized meals a day, if that. I lost about 6-8 lbs. from the summer until I conceived. I wasn't doing any excercise so that was all from my eating habits. I thought maybe the timing was perfect since my body chemistry had to be different from when I conceived my boys. With them I was more well nourished.
I guess that wasn't enough of a nudge to get me a girl. So now I'm playing the blame game. Even though I was eating less, I definitely had some of the no-no foods (red meat, potatoes, bananas). I feel like diet is such a big part of swaying and I messed up. I just wish I had gotten the chance to do a real sway. With ds2 I did an Ingender sway and couldn't get pregnant. I dropped most everything and conceived my sweet little boy. I first found out about swaying in the summer of 2008. It makes me sad to think I've had this knowledge for almost 5 years and never got the chance to really use it. I feel kind of cheated. It's silly but I envy people with just 2 boys who have that chance of swaying for #3.
I don't know what the point of this post is other than to vent. I think this blame is the one (big) thing holding me back from getting over GD. I keep thinking it was something I did or didn't do. I know I need to let it go... I'm just finding it very hard.
Thank you for listening! :)
I'm doing ok most days. I even find myself excited about my new little boy. Of course I still have pangs of what if. I'm hoping that will get better with time.
This baby was a surprise. I had thought about ttc #3 this summer, but I wasn't 100% sure. I remember thinking about swaying but then at the same time dreading that part. It was in the future so I didn't put much thought into when and how we would try for #3. I was happy & content with my 2 boys. I never visited gender sites anymore. I didn't think about gender. I didn't obsess over other families. It was sooooo nice.
Well fast forward to the beginning of this year when I found out I was pregnant. We had an oopsie around Christmas. Honestly I wasn't that worried about getting pregnant. I didn't think it would happen that easily. Well, it did. I was in sheer panic mode for a couple weeks after I got the BFP. Then I started thinking maybe, just maybe God was blessing me with a daughter. I still tried to convince myself it was a boy. However it's hard not to have some hope of getting your DG.
I found gender dreaming shortly after I got found out I was pregnant. I read about the low everything diet and got excited. As it turns out I was just finishing a semester of college when we conceived. When I started school at the end of August (4 months before I would conceive) my eating habits changed. I was eating so little. Never ate breakfast. Never snacked. Just ate 2 moderate sized meals a day, if that. I lost about 6-8 lbs. from the summer until I conceived. I wasn't doing any excercise so that was all from my eating habits. I thought maybe the timing was perfect since my body chemistry had to be different from when I conceived my boys. With them I was more well nourished.
I guess that wasn't enough of a nudge to get me a girl. So now I'm playing the blame game. Even though I was eating less, I definitely had some of the no-no foods (red meat, potatoes, bananas). I feel like diet is such a big part of swaying and I messed up. I just wish I had gotten the chance to do a real sway. With ds2 I did an Ingender sway and couldn't get pregnant. I dropped most everything and conceived my sweet little boy. I first found out about swaying in the summer of 2008. It makes me sad to think I've had this knowledge for almost 5 years and never got the chance to really use it. I feel kind of cheated. It's silly but I envy people with just 2 boys who have that chance of swaying for #3.
I don't know what the point of this post is other than to vent. I think this blame is the one (big) thing holding me back from getting over GD. I keep thinking it was something I did or didn't do. I know I need to let it go... I'm just finding it very hard.
Thank you for listening! :)