For those who had another after their DG

[Lilian78]

Just wondering how many of you ladies still want(ed) another girl or boy after having one . . . I have BB and a HT DD, and find myself preferring a girl for the last baby we're planning.

I've seen some people have e.g. BBGB or GGBG, and have a really hard time with the last one.

How much did your desire decrease after "success," and if you did have an opposite the next time around, how did you feel about it?

[ilovemykids]

I would LOVE to have another DD - and even would be happy with another DS (or so I think) but sadly we are done having kids as there are some medical reasons I should be done and also DH would be near impossible to convince for another. If both those situations changed I would definitely be wanting another regardless of gender.

[1pinkwish]

I'm done having kids, but I would think that if I were to ever have another baby, I would probably hope for a girl just so that my lone DD would have a sister. But, I don't think it would bother me if the baby ended up being a boy cause at least I do have my one girl now too!

In fact, I kind of like the fact that she doesn't have a sister cause I'm hoping that will just make us closer when she's grown cause she won't have another female to lean on. I know me and my sis talk WAY more than me and my mom do, and a lot time is spent talking about my mom. LOL I love my mom, and we are close, but as a mom she still does crazy things from time to time and so I use my sis to vent that out too. But, like I said, since my DD won't have a sis, I'm hoping that will strengthen OUR relationship. :)

[Lilian78]

In fact, I kind of like the fact that she doesn't have a sister cause I'm hoping that will just make us closer when she's grown cause she won't have another female to lean on.

This is what I keep telling myself :) I just find it frustrating that I still care . . . I did not have GD (disappointment) with my boys (and definitely wanted at least one boy), but I'm actually more scared about having it with #4. I figured I just be proactive with #3, which I was. But there's really no option for proactive, because I'm defininitely not having 5!

Just interested in whether others got over "it" once they had both genders . . . or how dysfunctional I am LOL.

[TTC5]

When we have our boy (being positive here lol) I can imagine I will want another, LOL!

[skrimpy]

I am one of those moms that would have happily been an all boy mom... swaying for a boy with my 2yo then getting a surprise girl has made my current pregnancy very hard (baby girl due in about 4 weeks). I'm starting to look forward to just having a baby now... but I (obviously) desire to sway for another boy when this little one is a toddler.

[fivebabies]

I have BBGB and had some GD with #4...not bad or for long but it was there. I still want another girl!

[nuthinbutpink]

This is what I keep telling myself :) I just find it frustrating that I still care . . . I did not have GD (disappointment) with my boys (and definitely wanted at least one boy), but I'm actually more scared about having it with #4. I figured I just be proactive with #3, which I was. But there's really no option for proactive, because I'm defininitely not having 5!

Just interested in whether others got over "it" once they had both genders . . . or how dysfunctional I am LOL.

I obviously don't know how YOU would feel but I do think that it can be a win/win with your existing DD. Either she becomes the Princess and gets to do everything without interference from a little sis or she ends up with a sister to share stuff with. Either way, I can think of the positives for HER. Your feelings- are the tied up in your hopes for her or yourself? Can you distinguish between them?

[familiesr4ever]

I have BBGB and with my last one I honestly had myself convinced he was a she, so was my dh, in fact when we had the u/s and they said boy, I remember feeling like I wasn't even in the room any more and I remember my dh letting out a huge sigh of suprise. I am totally in love now and really never had gd, I think I just assumed since we had had a dd, that we were going to have dd #2 and give our dd a little sister. Which to me, 2 boys and 2 girls was the dream family. Anyway, it is really hard because since she was 2 she has told everyone and I do mean everyone, that she was getting a little brother and litter sister. Well she got her little brother, now she asks us everyday, when she is getting her sister. So, it is hard to see her with friends that haver sisters and she tells me she feels left out. My dh and I are looking into HT to try for a second dd, because I really want her to have that bond. I have a sister and I am more close with my Mom than my sister so I don't worry that my dd will be closer with her sister than me and if she is, then I will have raised not just one great and loving daughter but two. GL on your decision.

[Lilian78]

I obviously don't know how YOU would feel but I do think that it can be a win/win with your existing DD. Either she becomes the Princess and gets to do everything without interference from a little sis or she ends up with a sister to share stuff with. Either way, I can think of the positives for HER. Your feelings- are the tied up in your hopes for her or yourself? Can you distinguish between them?

I'm starting to love you NBP :) I'm not sure my daughter should be the only princess LOL. She's enough princess as it is . . . wanting a girl is definitely more for her than me--but thank you for helping me realize it also really is about me. I thought about doing HT again for a while, and ultimately, was sad about the possibility of choosing a girl when I already have one (definitely uncomfortable about the thought of wanting another one like my daughter, rather than my boys--and actually, kind of upset about the thought of never having at least the possibility another boy??). But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't about me at all--for me I think it's more about control (having had it before), and "perfection"--how great would BBGG be? I know in the end it will be fine either way--just for some reason have a really hard time with having a stronger desire for a girl, after having one already. If you had told me I'd be obsessing about a perfect balance a few years ago, I would have told you were crazy!

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm starting to love you NBP :) I'm not sure my daughter should be the only princess LOL. She's enough princess as it is . . . wanting a girl is definitely more for her than me--but thank you for helping me realize it also really is about me. I thought about doing HT again for a while, and ultimately, was sad about the possibility of choosing a girl when I already have one (definitely uncomfortable about the thought of wanting another one like my daughter, rather than my boys--and actually, kind of upset about the thought of never having at least the possibility another boy??). But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't about me at all--for me I think it's more about control (having had it before), and "perfection"--how great would BBGG be? I know in the end it will be fine either way--just for some reason have a really hard time with having a stronger desire for a girl, after having one already. If you had told me I'd be obsessing about a perfect balance a few years ago, I would have told you were crazy!

You could use MS again and be guaranteed a transfer(or close to it unless something went really poorly). You have struggled with this for a while now and if you really want another girl and not just another child, go HT. You know what to expect and in the grand scheme of things, it is a week at the beach this summer. It would make me nervous if you put back 2 though if you did not want to go from 3 to 5! I would likely only opt to put back one. Sisters are great. I am sure brothers are too but sadly, my son will just have to focus on his bond with his dad. I am sure he will be just fine though like your daughter will too if she is the only girl! I could see myself in the same situation if I had 3 and not 4. 4 is a lot and we are so done!

[Lilian78]

You could use MS again and be guaranteed a transfer(or close to it unless something went really poorly). You have struggled with this for a while now and if you really want another girl and not just another child, go HT. You know what to expect and in the grand scheme of things, it is a week at the beach this summer. It would make me nervous if you put back 2 though if you did not want to go from 3 to 5!

I know . . . I think I've just spent too long obsessing (biggest gap I've had between kids ;)). And I definitely already thought about the possibility of doing MS again and twins LOL. I would probably transfer 2 (just don't believe much in SETs). If I'm going to have 5, I'd rather have BG twins :D Plus, I planned to use all embryos . . . I didn't have any leftover, but what if I did the second time around, and already had 4 kids and frosties (lol)? I've been through all levels of analysis and stressing. I think if I'm honest with myself I don't care any more than the average person, but doing HT before gave me a whole new level of obsession (it's not really that I want to do HT again, but that now it's a possibility).

I think another big part of the issue (oddly enough, and the reason I started this thread), is the fact that I had a daughter last. Rather than just being resigned to having all boys, now I can dream about her having a sister (maybe something like the awesome relationship my boys have), etc. I actually can't think of anyone who had something like GGBG/BBGB and was not upset with #4 (sigh).

Thanks for all your help--someday I'm going to stop the obsessing and just make some kind of decision :)

[Halah]

Well, I don't have my DG. But if I did get a girl and then had another pregnancy I'm pretty sure I would want it to be a boy. I have always only wanted one daughter. Who knows though, maybe I would actually not care about the gender for once. That would be pretty nice!

[atomic sagebrush]

Just wondering how many of you ladies still want(ed) another girl or boy after having one . . . I have BB and a HT DD, and find myself preferring a girl for the last baby we're planning.

I've seen some people have e.g. BBGB or GGBG, and have a really hard time with the last one.

How much did your desire decrease after "success," and if you did have an opposite the next time around, how did you feel about it?

In my experience with some of my friends, they almost had MORE GD after getting their DG because it wasn't just for them, it was to give their little ones a brother/sister of the same gender. HOnestly that has been something that was a saving grace for me with my opposite is knowing that I "gave" my DS 3 a brother his same age. I totally understand it.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm done having kids, but I would think that if I were to ever have another baby, I would probably hope for a girl just so that my lone DD would have a sister. But, I don't think it would bother me if the baby ended up being a boy cause at least I do have my one girl now too!

In fact, I kind of like the fact that she doesn't have a sister cause I'm hoping that will just make us closer when she's grown cause she won't have another female to lean on. I know me and my sis talk WAY more than me and my mom do, and a lot time is spent talking about my mom. LOL I love my mom, and we are close, but as a mom she still does crazy things from time to time and so I use my sis to vent that out too. But, like I said, since my DD won't have a sis, I'm hoping that will strengthen OUR relationship. :)

This is kinda my thinking too. I can really see it both ways and that is why everyone's GD is jsut a little bit different.

[atomic sagebrush]

This is what I keep telling myself :) I just find it frustrating that I still care . . . I did not have GD (disappointment) with my boys (and definitely wanted at least one boy), but I'm actually more scared about having it with #4. I figured I just be proactive with #3, which I was. But there's really no option for proactive, because I'm defininitely not having 5!

Just interested in whether others got over "it" once they had both genders . . . or how dysfunctional I am LOL.

Sorry for the 9 million posts but something else that I have seen, is one lady who had horrible GD with her first son, swayed pink and got a daughter, swayed for a sister for DD and got her too, is now contemplating going high tech for another son!!! So you just never know what your heart will tell you!! You may have a change of heart at any point - I know I have!!

[Lilian78]

In my experience with some of my friends, they almost had MORE GD after getting their DG because it wasn't just for them, it was to give their little ones a brother/sister of the same gender. HOnestly that has been something that was a saving grace for me with my opposite is knowing that I "gave" my DS 3 a brother his same age. I totally understand it.

This is exactly it . . . it seems wrong, but it is worse in some ways (not all, LOL--I'm definitely not complaining!). It's just hard when everyone still cares so much even though we're now more balanced. I think I care less (I love having both, and will be fine with just one girl), but everyone else cares more. DH has to point out every little girl (he's loving having a daughter and wants another), I can assume DD would want a sister (and I'd definitely like her to have one), and even my boys want a girl for my daughter. DS1 repeatedly tells me she needs a sister so they can be like him and DS2 (so sweet, but come on!!). I don't think I'd have the family pressure if I had 3 boys LOL.

[Lilian78]

Sorry for the 9 million posts but something else that I have seen, is one lady who had horrible GD with her first son, swayed pink and got a daughter, swayed for a sister for DD and got her too, is now contemplating going high tech for another son!!! So you just never know what your heart will tell you!! You may have a change of heart at any point - I know I have!!

OMG, you're going to have to tell me who this is (just kidding)! Sounds like me . . . I have no overall gender preference but just wish I could pick every time :D If I had 2 girls and 1 boy I'd probably be going crazy to have another boy :)

[kaseybaby]

I had to make a promise to myself that if I swayed and got my DG, then I would not sway for my 3rd baby. That what will be will be. I can be a control freak, and I want to just take it easy the next time I TTC. If got blesses me with a girl this time, then I have to move on with my subsequent pregnancies.