BZ94
May 22nd, 2013, 11:59 AM
So DH's cousin's wife just posted on facebook that they are expecting a baby girl in the fall and when I saw it I just started crying. I really don't know why this bothers me so much as she already has a DD who's 12 from a previous relationship, and a DS who is the same age as my 5 year old (they are in preschool together and good friends as well as cousins) so she already had her PP, what do I care what she has next?
Maybe it's because before I found out I was having my third DS she kept saying "Oh I really hope you have a girl" and when I found out I was having a boy she said "I think I'm more disappointed than you are." Which wasn't true, but just shows how well I hide my GD. I really do like her --in fact I like her more than all the other cousins in DH's family, so maybe I was hoping we'd be going through the baby boy thing together, but now I know that with our babies months apart I'll always be comparing them and feeling bad that she gets to do all the girl stuff while I'm left with the boys.
I just feel like the closer I get to my due date -- any day now -- the more GD I have. DH and I STILL have not agreed on a name, I'm normally a small person but am currently HUGE and anticipating a 9+ lb baby (my last was 9.5 lbs) which makes chasing/carrying/cleaning up after my other two DS's incredibly painful and exhausting, and I just keep wondering why I am doing this again for another boy. I *know* I'll love him as much as I love the other two, but life could be getting easier again when instead it's getting harder, all because I was stupid enough to look around and think "everyone else gets their girl, why not me?"
Maybe it's because before I found out I was having my third DS she kept saying "Oh I really hope you have a girl" and when I found out I was having a boy she said "I think I'm more disappointed than you are." Which wasn't true, but just shows how well I hide my GD. I really do like her --in fact I like her more than all the other cousins in DH's family, so maybe I was hoping we'd be going through the baby boy thing together, but now I know that with our babies months apart I'll always be comparing them and feeling bad that she gets to do all the girl stuff while I'm left with the boys.
I just feel like the closer I get to my due date -- any day now -- the more GD I have. DH and I STILL have not agreed on a name, I'm normally a small person but am currently HUGE and anticipating a 9+ lb baby (my last was 9.5 lbs) which makes chasing/carrying/cleaning up after my other two DS's incredibly painful and exhausting, and I just keep wondering why I am doing this again for another boy. I *know* I'll love him as much as I love the other two, but life could be getting easier again when instead it's getting harder, all because I was stupid enough to look around and think "everyone else gets their girl, why not me?"