What next!!!!

[Mrs_P]

I am so sick of problems at the moment, feeling really sorry for myself - sorry to moan but hoping someone can tell me it will be alright!

I have just picked up son up from school and he has chicken pox - my little girl is due next week. It feels like this pregnancy has been doomed from the beginning i seem to run into one thing after another. I rang GP and they said she'll be fine as long as she stays inside me she will only really be at risk if she's born whilst he's still contagious.

All well and good but i have 6 days to go and another son who has not had chicken pox and my middle son has been contagious from 2 days before the spots, so its most likely my youngest will have already caught it. It can take up to 21 days to show so one way or another one of them is going to be going through it around her. What do i do? Doctors advice was to keep her well away from her brother and hope its cleared up before she comes. But what about my other son, i can't send him away for a couple of weeks just in case (i was dreading spending one night away from him whilst i deliver and how he will cope - i have never left him) but unless he is showing symptoms he will be catching before the rash comes out so i won't know to keep her away (its air borne so she'll catch it being in the same room).

It feels like i'm just being tempted with the idea of a daughter and that one way or another she will be taken away

[Dana-Alicia]

My son came home with chickenpocks when my youngest was only a few weeks old. I was so worried! I phoned my GP and he said it usually doesn't cause a lot of problems. He did get it and wasn't sick from it, just had a few pocks. But the thing is they don;t become immune, so he will probably get it again.

[mommymachine]

Oh my gosh! That's such a load of stress that you don't need right now. Are you planning on breastfeeding? That will help her immunity some. Hope someone who know better than I chimes in.

[Mrs_P]

no idea what to expect, done some online research and some of it says its really mild as long as the baby inherits your immunity - other parts seem to say it can be really dangerous and even fatal if the baby catches it properly.

With a 14-21 day incubation period and ds3 still to catch it its looking more and more likely that one of the boys will have it (or be getting it) when she is born - really don't have any idea what to do (other than cross my legs but with her due in 6 days i doubt she'll stop in another 3-4 weeks!)

[queen-bee]

This is tough.. I would consider different even extreme options like getting someone help you with the boys (your parents or DH taking time off) and try to be isolated with her in a separate room. I remember doing this when DS3 got rash after chicken pox vaccine, I was around 8 weeks pregnant with my precious ht girl. Luckily it was school holidays and my 15 y.o. was a great help looking after two younger kids. Take care and hope this will be over soon and the whole family will be enjoying your little newborn princess.

[Rainbow baby]

Ahh my eldest just got over the pox, my other two boys didn't catch it and my niece who I baby sit didn't get it either (12 months). Nor did I or any one else. We were just told to keep a very good hand washing and bathing routine used a lot of antibacterial sprays. Do not share cups, cutlery normal things you would share...bath towels and washing sponges and hair brushes and so forth. As soon as the pox scab over they are apparently not contagious any more. My boys took 4-5 days for all of the pox to scab over.

[OneLastDream]

Ah mrs p - please try not to worry. Ds1 caught chicken pox when ds2 was 4 months old. Ds2 did catch it but they bathed together and I didn't breast feed for that long. But, I was told it is unusual for little ones to get it as they should have your immunity if breast feeding. I would speak to midwife and maybe another doctor - NHS direct or something as your doctor seems to be saying things that will be so difficult for you to follow. At the end of the day you need to do whatever is safest and what makes you feel better but I think you are like me and then would want dveryone involved. How old is ds3? Is he only 2? If so he won't remember xx keep your chin up xx lots of love xx

[Mrs_P]

thanks girls, doesn't seem any better for having slept on it. My little man is nearly 3 but he is such a mommies boy he never wants anyone else. I am considering keeping them apart until he has spots as there is no way he will avoid it now - he's been far to close to his brother its more a matter of when than if.

I just keep hoping if he starts to come down with spots soon and she is late then maybe i will get away with it - although thats highly unlikely, feels like she could fall out any second and he doesn't have a hint of anything. Just seems bad that i may have to stop him meeting his sister even if he is not ill (as by the time i know he is ill its too late she'd have it)

[RKT Mama]

If you have had it she will get some immunity anyway, however if you should get it, seek medical advice urgently.
I would look at the situation when she is born, chickenpox immunoglobulin is available which provides some protection as well if they are worried although its a bit of a horrid injection for a newborn

[missmegrn]

Just popping in on this....chicken pox can also be spread via the air from those who are contagious to those who are not immune to pox. Good luck in keeping everyone pox free

[1+2+3boys]

Oh man, what a pain. Have you talked about vaccination for the son who does not have it yet? I think I have heard it is never too late and if he already has caught it then he would get a really mild version of it. Not sure though but worth asking your doctor or researching for the safety of your newborn.
I hope all turns out O.K and fx for an overdue bub this time

[Mrs_P]

thanks girls, they don't seem keen on the idea of a vaccine over here, keep saying normally its mild and that there is no reason to assume it won't be with my other little guy - he will get it its just a case of when but since ds2 has been ill since tuesday/wednesday now its unlikely ds3 has caught it from the same source as he's fine so its looking like he will get it from ds2 now so we have no wait the incubation period out - oh bugger i was really hoping he'd get it sooner!

does anyone know how easy it is to catch, how airborne it is, as in if i kept her upstairs and him well away would she still be likely to catch it? From what i have read she can't have the vaccine as a newborn but will ask the hospital when i go into labor as the chances are unless she rocks up in the next day or two that ds2 will have recovered but ds3 won't yet have the spots

[dloui128]

thanks girls, they don't seem keen on the idea of a vaccine over here, keep saying normally its mild and that there is no reason to assume it won't be with my other little guy - he will get it its just a case of when but since ds2 has been ill since tuesday/wednesday now its unlikely ds3 has caught it from the same source as he's fine so its looking like he will get it from ds2 now so we have no wait the incubation period out - oh bugger i was really hoping he'd get it sooner!

does anyone know how easy it is to catch, how airborne it is, as in if i kept her upstairs and him well away would she still be likely to catch it? From what i have read she can't have the vaccine as a newborn but will ask the hospital when i go into labor as the chances are unless she rocks up in the next day or two that ds2 will have recovered but ds3 won't yet have the spots

I found this online for you How do you catch chickenpox? - Health questions - NHS Choices (http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2586.aspx?CategoryID=200)

I would say keep her in a completely different room with no contact at all until he gets it and the blisters crust over

[Mrs_P]

Spent much the whole day in tears, now i know i'm crazy and hormonal and i'm sorry to moan at everyone on here i just have no-one else to speak to. My mom has been chatting to my SIL who is a nurse and they have decided that the best thing to do if both of the boys haven't both had it and are recovered is to take my baby away when she is born.

My SIL reckons that the separate room thing won't work they need to be completely isolated to keep her safe so i have to choose one of them to leave. My son and i are so close and he is such a mommas boy that i cannot leave him for potentially 2 weeks (i have never left him before even over night and he is likely to be really quite poorly with it as it will affect his other health issues to making him feel really rough) so its apparently best all around if they take my daughter - just like that; i'm not have any contact with her and i can't breast feed her but its justifiable then cause i know she'll be safe and we will have years together after and on top of this my husband thinks its the only way to ensure she's safe and its a good idea, we've waited years for her what will a couple of weeks matter! i feel like my heart is breaking and am spending every moment hoping my son gets sick and i don't go into labor.

My midwife and doctor are no use and the internet seems really hit and miss - some sites say she should be protected and only get a mild case if i am immune and breastfeeding her - some say its really dangerous in newborns under 4 weeks and that 1 in 5 that catch it will die from it (which she would be if i brought her home and she gets it off them - she'd be 2 weeks old with it).

I have no idea what to do - am i just hormonal and wreck cause of that?!? What you all do?

[deaks66]

hang on a minute, since when do your mum and SIL get to decide?! its your baby and your decision, dont be bullied! i would imagine that when you have given birth and have your long awaited baby girl in your arms that the last thing you will want is for her to be removed from you. Try and take things as they come a little. If you explain to your little man about how poorly the baby could get he might not mind a few days at grannies house so much... promise him he'll get spoilt rotten.

[Dreamofpink]

Mrs P, I can't believe you're having to deal with all of this! I really really feel for you. Chicken pox is horrid and I thought I had a lot to deal with in April when I was newly pg, ds1 had Chicken Pox and a fractured ankle in a cast (all diagnosed on the same day :sigh:) and then 10 days later ds2 came down with it whilst ds1 was still in his cast. It was a rough month but we got through it and knowing I was immune meant I didn't have to worry about this LO. I wish I could come and look after your DS3 for you or wave a magic wand to make it all go away.

I think you're definitely right, it's inevitable that he'll get it but the timing couldn't be worse. Is there anyway that you could stay with your Mum or SIL and let DH look after DS3? Or send DS3 to your Mum? I understand you really don't want to be apart from him, all we want to do when they're ill is look after them and all they want is Mummy anyway. It's an awful position for you to be in, but I really think you need to play it ultra-safe. I could never bring myself to deliberately infect mine at a chicken pox party (urgh!) just in case they're one of the odd ones that reacts badly. You've always expressed a worry that DD'll make it to you safely and I'm sure that DS3 will understand in his own way. It's heartbreaking for you though to have to keep them apart, introducing siblings is such a wonderful and special time. I hope you get through this okay, can your midwife or GP really not offer any decent advice at all? Crikey, perhaps the labour ward will have something to say about it. I'm thinking of you and hope you can find a solution quickly and satisfactorily. :heart:

[Dreamofpink]

BTW, your SIL may be a nurse but she's not thinking of that crucial time when you're bonding with DD. You already have a very strong bond with DS3, which as heartbreaking as it would be, I'm certain would survive with no lasting problems if you're separated temporarily. However, those early days are absolutely vital for her learning to feed, bonding with you and for your own mental well-being.

I spent the first 6 weeks apart from DS1 as he was born at 30 weeks and spent that time in the NICU. It took me a year to come to terms with it even though I could visit him everyday during that time and knew that he needed that care to survive. I needed a professional peri-natal counsellor to help me understand and make sense of the very traumatic time that we went through. It would be unbearable for you to be apart from DD like that and totally unforgiveable that your SIL and Mum make the choice for you.

I don't want to sound heartless, it's not my intention as I know you love all of your children fiercely and equally, however I believe that DD should be the priority as she'll be so little and is at the most risk. DS3 is older and easier for a relative to take care of and probably won't remember the separation. I understand that it's excruciating for you to be apart from him, but it'd be for the best. I hope my experience doesn't cloud my answer too much, also my boys are very close with my parents so I'd have no problem leaving them with my parents if they were ill and I had no choice. I'm sorry but I don't know how close you & your boys are with your Mum. Forgive if I've overstepped the line. Sending you a huge hug :hugs: and don't beat yourself up for crying a lot over it all, it's an awful situation to be in. :heart:

[Emily]

Oh you poor thing! I would write down all the possibilities and then ring th eNHS helpline and ask them what they think. Explain that your doc has been unwilling to commit. They have different operators with different areas of expertise so should be able to pass you on to the right person.

You will feel happier with whatever is decided if it is an impartial recommendation based purely on the facts. Big hugs to you.

[RKT Mama]

I would have thought that the risk of not breast feeding her would be far higher than her contracting chicken pox. It's pretty rare for breast fed babies to get chickenpox if mom doesn't have it and you are her best protection.

[Cinss]

My SIL reckons that the separate room thing won't work they need to be completely isolated to keep her safe so i have to choose one of them to leave. My son and i are so close and he is such a mommas boy that i cannot leave him for potentially 2 weeks (i have never left him before even over night and he is likely to be really quite poorly with it as it will affect his other health issues to making him feel really rough) so its apparently best all around if they take my daughter - just like that; i'm not have any contact with her and i can't breast feed her but its justifiable then cause i know she'll be safe and we will have years together after and on top of this my husband thinks its the only way to ensure she's safe and its a good idea, we've waited years for her what will a couple of weeks matter! i feel like my heart is breaking and am spending every moment hoping my son gets sick and i don't go into labor.

What you all do?

No way! Leave your son with them, its only 2 weeks max and he will be FINE. He may be a mummas boy but honestly he's not even 3 yet? He wont be that bothered by it, he may cry when you leave but he will be FINE after that. Its probably going to be harder on you than him. You need to spend the first days/weeks with your newborn.

[wilma_five]

I agree with Cinns. It's only 2 weeks and takes the stress away! If something does go wrong you would never forgive yourself. You have to concentrate on your "almost to be here, newborn"

[Tiffani3]

Oh no mrsp was a nightmare. Personally I would take the baby and stay with your mum for a while until it all blows over. At least then ds3 will be in his own home with daddy.
You can have a really good rest plus really bond with that little lady and she will be safe!!
I hope you sort it hun xx xx xx

[Mrs_Incredible]

Thinking of you mrs_p. Hope everything is ok x
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