Cut offs

[TTC5]

How do cut offs work and what are we aiming for?

[iluvmyman]

I think these might help

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?2728-abstaining-frequent-release-and-mixing-cutoff-with-O-12&highlight=cutoffs

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?1359-Shettles-method-of-timing-for-boy-and-girl-Part-1&highlight=cutoffs

[gizmo77]

i think from what i read on here, the aim is increasing (for boy) or decreasing (for girl) dh's sperm count. and trying to not let faster y sperm wait too long for egg (for boy), verse allowing slower x sperm to hang out and stay a while to wait for egg (for girl).

no expert here.

[Flava]

What I understand x and y sperm are the same size and has the same speed.Only Shattles said different but he was wrong.

[TTC5]

So how many days before O should we abstain?

[TTC5]

I think these might help

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?2728-abstaining-frequent-release-and-mixing-cutoff-with-O-12&highlight=cutoffs

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?1359-Shettles-method-of-timing-for-boy-and-girl-Part-1&highlight=cutoffs

TY xx

[iluvmyman]

I had DH abstain for 3 1/2 to 4 days. I think this method is up for debate on the need for it, but I went for it anyway. 3-5 days for ttc boy I think is ideal w/ 4 being the best.

[gizmo77]

I had DH abstain for 3 1/2 to 4 days. I think this method is up for debate on the need for it, but I went for it anyway. 3-5 days for ttc boy I think is ideal w/ 4 being the best.

if 4 is the best (i read that too), why doesnt everyone try 4? whats the debate?
the only thing i can think of is that every mans body is diff...

[Flava]

if 4 is the best (i read that too), why doesnt everyone try 4? whats the debate?
the only thing i can think of is that every mans body is diff...

You see IDK...:worry:lot's of advice are different here the on IG...atomic even says don't do tbm and I don't see anything wrong with tbm .So for the cutoff I think we will do 3 days but not sure yet...guess I need to learn more about it .

[daisyfay311]

Does anybody know about bd'ing leading up to O? I was thinking about dtd every 3-4 days to keep sperm count good and then dtd the night of the positive opk. But now I can't find where I thought every 3-4 days was a good idea so it's possible I'm making that up. Sooooooo much info, I swear sometimes I think I'm going in circles!

[gizmo77]

Does anybody know about bd'ing leading up to O? I was thinking about dtd every 3-4 days to keep sperm count good and then dtd the night of the positive opk. But now I can't find where I thought every 3-4 days was a good idea so it's possible I'm making that up. Sooooooo much info, I swear sometimes I think I'm going in circles!

there is a link..ill see if i can find it. but it says that sex every 2-6 days (with 2-4 days being the best) is meant to keep optimal sperm available. as far as opk, i thought to wait 12hrs after your positive opk?? but i guess it depend on the brand you use...

[gizmo77]

Does anybody know about bd'ing leading up to O? I was thinking about dtd every 3-4 days to keep sperm count good and then dtd the night of the positive opk. But now I can't find where I thought every 3-4 days was a good idea so it's possible I'm making that up. Sooooooo much info, I swear sometimes I think I'm going in circles!



heres one:

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?1171-How-to-raise-sperm-count-and-sway-blue!!


and here:

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?1381-Shettles-method-of-timing

[iluvmyman]

The whole idea of timing at all is up for debate which totally makes sense, although letting DH's sperm hang out and kinda gather up the troops sounds fair too. I think DH and I were just Seeing what happened w/ DD#2 and that took almost a year. When we finally had enough of it taking so long we started to DTD every other day. Of coarse I had very little info about the whole ovulation process at that time. W/in a month we had a BFP w/ dd#2. With DS#2, I have no idea of the cutoff time since we weren't trying at all. I like the idea of not dong it for a couple days so I went for it.

Gizmo, I think the debate is wether it necessary at all to do a cutoff. Atomic said most pregos are conceived w/ sperm already waiting days before ovulation and I didn't want to hit that cuz the whole girls live longer but I can't remember if that's even true or not.

I get so confused too w/ all this info and coming over from IG is hard because you have pre-conceived notions. I really am just going w/ my gut and on the best info I have and can remember. I did do the 4-day cut-off w/ not sex for a couple days after so it was just the one shot.

Daisy, the every 3-4 day thing sounds reasonable especially if you know when you will ovulate. I could tell you what IG says about cutoff for boy but it's just more info to keep in the back of your mind. Highest count of sperm between 2-6 days w/ day 4 being the highest but after 7 days it will decrease.

Atomic is right I think when she says to read the info, get educated on what's out there and go w/ your gut. It's really hard to know anything for sure.

[atomic sagebrush]

if 4 is the best (i read that too), why doesnt everyone try 4? whats the debate?
the only thing i can think of is that every mans body is diff...

The debate is how many times can you DTD and up your odds of pg. Some guys sperm numbers recover really fast so you could do 2 or even 3 attempts in the "boy" window and have a better chance of getting pg. You could DTD two days before O (since cutoffs really don't sway that much if at all) and on O day and double your chances of pregnancy without really even dipping too deeply into the girl-zone.

So why not just DTD like 8 times in a 6 day period, you can do that but the problem is, lower sperm count seems to sway pink, not blue, and the sperm numbers need a couple days to recover. What you DON'T want to do is DTD too soon (the first batch with the 4 days of abstaining will have the highest numbers, but if you dont' time it right all the sperm will prob. die, missing the egg) and have all that first batch of sperm die off, then DTD like 5 more times in a row without giving any time in the fertile period for the sperm count to have recovered. So if you DTD like 6 days before O and then every day through O that would prob. sway pink not blue even though you had the 4 days of abstaining.

That scenario is kinda farfetched for blue so I will give a more realistic one. Let's say you plan on DTD 1 day before O and O day after 4 days of abstaining. But something goes wrong and you O a day or two late, and maybe your OPKs aren't clear or you aren't using OPKs. It is well within the realm of possibility that your first shot has very high sperm count but it could be 2 or 3 days before O. Maybe some sperm will live but at least some will die in that time. So you DTD the next day (which you think is O day) and you think you're in the clear. Then the next day, you either get a clearly pos OPK or start having a lot of EWCM and cramps and realize you never actually Oed. What do you do then?? Well, you could DTD two more times trying to hit the day before O and O day, OR you could take a break for two days and DTD once on O. It's prob. best to wait the 2 days and DTD once on O for a boy.

Does that make any sense? Kinda roundabout way of explaining it. :/

[atomic sagebrush]

The whole idea of timing at all is up for debate which totally makes sense, although letting DH's sperm hang out and kinda gather up the troops sounds fair too. I think DH and I were just Seeing what happened w/ DD#2 and that took almost a year. When we finally had enough of it taking so long we started to DTD every other day. Of coarse I had very little info about the whole ovulation process at that time. W/in a month we had a BFP w/ dd#2. With DS#2, I have no idea of the cutoff time since we weren't trying at all. I like the idea of not dong it for a couple days so I went for it.

Gizmo, I think the debate is wether it necessary at all to do a cutoff. Atomic said most pregos are conceived w/ sperm already waiting days before ovulation and I didn't want to hit that cuz the whole girls live longer but I can't remember if that's even true or not.

I get so confused too w/ all this info and coming over from IG is hard because you have pre-conceived notions. I really am just going w/ my gut and on the best info I have and can remember. I did do the 4-day cut-off w/ not sex for a couple days after so it was just the one shot.

Daisy, the every 3-4 day thing sounds reasonable especially if you know when you will ovulate. I could tell you what IG says about cutoff for boy but it's just more info to keep in the back of your mind. Highest count of sperm between 2-6 days w/ day 4 being the highest but after 7 days it will decrease.

Atomic is right I think when she says to read the info, get educated on what's out there and go w/ your gut. It's really hard to know anything for sure.

I am really trying super hard to get everything organized in a more understandable fashion and I hope you guys can bear with me while that happens. Please let me know if you want more info in any one area or if you ahve any ideas to make things easier to understand...the one thing I want to avoid is a big dense FAQ where everything is all lumped together and no one can find anything, which is why I have the separate threads, but I can see that the separate threads have their own issues too!!!

[TTC5]

I think dh's sperm count it fine, we have 4 girls and when trying for them we bd every day pretty much, lol.
Just can't figure how to do my cut off as my ovulation is so random =(

[iluvmyman]

To be honest, Atomic, it is sooo hard to stop thinking like I did on IG (I only posted like 2 times but I read so much on IG). I sort of had a plan in mind after reading so much there and it's hard to deviate now. In fact, it's hard to keep everything together w/ all the research from then and now. I'm so scared to mess up and not conceive a boy so I will literally try everything even if it's been totally de-bunked. I might regret it though if I don't get a BFP this month with only DTD once near O. You are so much more relaxed and I just can't seem to do it. I wrote this on the other post, but I would love to have "Your" thoughts and passions written out on an easy guide like on the "other" website. I think this would help out a great deal.

I like the threads you post and they are so informative and I can tell how passionate you are! "I" just can't seem to let go of some of the things and I don't want to take my pre-conceived notions and put them into the thoughts of others on GD. Why am I always crying! :)

You are doing such a great job and I don't want to like slap you in the face, I guess, by giving IG info that you don't necessarily believe in. I don't even mean it sometimes, I just get confused. I do agree that the major focus on PH and timing is misguided a little and diet and supps should be focused on. I sure hope that's right. LOL!

I liked the FAQ's (although I never liked the term FAQ's for that) since I knew where to get all the info. I used the guide most often though. I don't know, I just need to start again at all your sticky's and change my thinking a little.

Quick and easy since I got confused on the post you just put up here. Do you think there is any merit to abstaining 4 days or so to DTD if you are confident in your time to O? I know problems can arise with things not actually working out the "perfect" way and I think you told me that doing it only once at O might not be the best way. I can't find the post where you talked to me about that. Sorry to make you keep repeating yourself. I'm thinking about next month seriously now since I don't think i'll be getting a BFP.

[atomic sagebrush]

Iluv, just know I'm not offended at all and I TOTALLY appreciate the info...when I was writing things up for this site before it was online I asked people and they all seemed to hate the FAQ (and I personally find the FAQ difficult to use because if you're looking for one thing you have to go through a lot of info on other topics) so I thought, well whatever I do, I better not have a FAQ LOL! I guess every way has its own set of problems! Give me a couple days and we will have our own FAQ (but I promise I will never tell anyone to read it!! ;))

I~personally~ would aim for DTD TWICE during my fertile period for blue to increase sperm numbers and my odds of pg, so if I was very confident when I would O, I would DTD 2 days before O and then on O itself. That way you are still mostly in boy timing zone but you've

Since you want to include timing in your sway (and I can TOTALLY understand why you want to try everything, I would do the exact same thing - and did when I was swaying pink, because I didn't believe in calcium then either but I still took it!!!! - then abstaining for 2-4 days and DTD once at O (if you are using OPKs, then just BD 12 hours after your positive) is considered the "proper" timing for blue.

Ugh I knew that was confusing when I was writing it but I got interrupted a lot!! KIDS! ;)

[iluvmyman]

LOL! Oh, I totally know about the kids interuppting. :)

I was really thinking about where I was at on the milk and other sway techniques and I think I have my inner thoughts together. Ok, here I go.....less than 15% daily calcium means that I'm not thrilled cuz I love dairy. DTD only once and after 4 days or so of abstaining seems like the most hard core way to go. Ions feel like there is something I'm doing to sway. EW's and BS to up PH feels like I'm doing something extraoridinay. All of these things are debatable and may even hurt your sway.

If I don't do these things or I'm not really putting crazy effort into this sway or if I don't feel somewhat punished, missing out, or seriously sacrificing (like dairy) then I'm not "swaying" at all. I guess, if it doesn't feel miserable, then it's not good enough. I swear this is not a normal personailty issue for me.

I didn't however, enjoy the BFN so I might DTD twice. My concern would be, if you DTD the 2 days before, you would have little girls waiting there to get to the egg 1st (this is incorrect shettles info now, right, that girls live longer? )and also that less sperm soldiers would be ready for the 2nd attempt 2 days later. I don't want however, that DTD only once 12hrs after 1st OPK to lessen my shot at pregnancy. Augh! I thought I read to DTD the 2nd night of + OPK was the right timing for boy. LOL, this is why I really need to re-read all of "your" sticky's. :)

Either way, when we try again this month, I have already blown the diet on the 2WW, and will be swaying outside my pre-conceived "Perfect" sway anyway.

Let's hope for a BFP, because, if this goes on too many months then I will start struggling w/ being in the "summer" birth territory and I've given birth to my 2 DD's in July and both DS in the winter (Nov/Dec).

Atomic, this was NOT supposed to take more than 1 attempt. :) I suppose I should have had a "what if I don't get a BFP" scenario in mind. Man, if i was in my 20's this would not be so rushed. :)

[TTC5]

What do we do if O is irregular??

[gizmo77]

LOL! Oh, I totally know about the kids interuppting. :)

I was really thinking about where I was at on the milk and other sway techniques and I think I have my inner thoughts together. Ok, here I go.....less than 15% daily calcium means that I'm not thrilled cuz I love dairy. DTD only once and after 4 days or so of abstaining seems like the most hard core way to go. Ions feel like there is something I'm doing to sway. EW's and BS to up PH feels like I'm doing something extraoridinay. All of these things are debatable and may even hurt your sway.

If I don't do these things or I'm not really putting crazy effort into this sway or if I don't feel somewhat punished, missing out, or seriously sacrificing (like dairy) then I'm not "swaying" at all. I guess, if it doesn't feel miserable, then it's not good enough. I swear this is not a normal personailty issue for me.

I didn't however, enjoy the BFN so I might DTD twice. My concern would be, if you DTD the 2 days before, you would have little girls waiting there to get to the egg 1st (this is incorrect shettles info now, right, that girls live longer? )and also that less sperm soldiers would be ready for the 2nd attempt 2 days later. I don't want however, that DTD only once 12hrs after 1st OPK to lessen my shot at pregnancy. Augh! I thought I read to DTD the 2nd night of + OPK was the right timing for boy. LOL, this is why I really need to re-read all of "your" sticky's. :)

Either way, when we try again this month, I have already blown the diet on the 2WW, and will be swaying outside my pre-conceived "Perfect" sway anyway.

Let's hope for a BFP, because, if this goes on too many months then I will start struggling w/ being in the "summer" birth territory and I've given birth to my 2 DD's in July and both DS in the winter (Nov/Dec).

Atomic, this was NOT supposed to take more than 1 attempt. :) I suppose I should have had a "what if I don't get a BFP" scenario in mind. Man, if i was in my 20's this would not be so rushed. :)

i hear ya. personally, im a perfectionist and NEED or prefer strict guidelines. some ppl work better when given freedom. im just taking into account what i THOUGHT i did with my 2 DDs (one born in june the other in feb) and doing the opposite. thats ALL the info i have on myself. i have no blood tests, minerals count, etc (i didnt sway with both dds for either gender but always wanted/thought they would be boys). i only know what i did and after reading all the stickies and IG and whatever, MOST things makes sense. *i* believe calcium = girls bc i was on calcium SUPPLEMENTS (bc i read its good to do that for bone growth in fetus), so i started earlier than when i TTCd. i believe the timing, shettles etc for ME bc i bd''d EVERY day starting from as SOON as i saw anything remotely thick and stretchy.
after studying my body hard core recently i now know that i BARELY have creamy CM (maybe 1-2 days) and have mostly EW, so why didnt i get a boy? prob bc i we dtd everyday (no chance for sperm to replenish), ate a lot of chicken (didnt i read somewhere that red meat was better for boys), cheese, yogurt, etc.

i guess what it comes down to is we can do everything hardcore sway for boy/girl but you still may get the opposite..bc like atomic has said in her stickies....boys/girls have been born thru out history without supplements, calicum pills, etc...and there are boys and girls born in every month winter or summer, etc. so i/we can just try our best and hope it works.

having said that, i STILL want a BOY!!!!!!!!!

and i love this site. i think atomic and viviene and whoever (sorry!) do a great job with it!! really APPRECIATE IT!

[LolaInLove]

Iluv, I thought it would take me one shot with opks....I got pg with my girls without even trying, albeit in my 20s. Now, at 35 I feel a bit more rushed, but I will be ttc again on month 12, so here are a few things I've learned since swaying this long: you will always second guess your sway, even if you feel like it was perfectly planned. You may take some time to get pg, so don't let the bfns get you down. You may have several months before you get a bfp, or hey, you may get a bfp on the first try. You never know. Best to have some "breathing room" in your mind about that. Also, you will adjust your sway month after month if you take some time to get pg. I like to think of it as personalizing your sway even better each month. Your opinions about various factors may change from month to month, but it doesn't mean you have a crappy sway if you don't incorporate one thing or another. It's all really a crapshoot anyway (see Atomic's DICE theory). All this mostly to say, don't get down if it doesn't happen right away. I don't get pg on a one-shot deal. I DTD like Atomic suggests above, on O-2 and then O, and sometimes on O-1 and then O. Next time, we are going for the SMEP or Deanna's plan, because I just want to get pg before I get too depressed about it all and just give up. Just do what is best for you, physically and emotionally, and get yourself pregnant first and foremost.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think dh's sperm count it fine, we have 4 girls and when trying for them we bd every day pretty much, lol.
Just can't figure how to do my cut off as my ovulation is so random =(

BD every day may sway pink even in a man with very high sperm count because you don't allow enough time for the sperm numbers to recover. For best results, instead try DTD every two days in your fertile window since your O is irregular, you will allow enough time for sperm count to recover inbetween BD sessions but you'll still be avoiding the girl timing zones.

So - any time you think you may be fertile (you see EWCM), DTD, skip 2 days, DTD again. If you get a + opk in there, then BD 12 hours after UNLESS you just BD.

[atomic sagebrush]

LOL! Oh, I totally know about the kids interuppting. :)

I was really thinking about where I was at on the milk and other sway techniques and I think I have my inner thoughts together. Ok, here I go.....less than 15% daily calcium means that I'm not thrilled cuz I love dairy. DTD only once and after 4 days or so of abstaining seems like the most hard core way to go. Ions feel like there is something I'm doing to sway. EW's and BS to up PH feels like I'm doing something extraoridinay. All of these things are debatable and may even hurt your sway.

If I don't do these things or I'm not really putting crazy effort into this sway or if I don't feel somewhat punished, missing out, or seriously sacrificing (like dairy) then I'm not "swaying" at all. I guess, if it doesn't feel miserable, then it's not good enough. I swear this is not a normal personailty issue for me.

I didn't however, enjoy the BFN so I might DTD twice. My concern would be, if you DTD the 2 days before, you would have little girls waiting there to get to the egg 1st (this is incorrect shettles info now, right, that girls live longer? )and also that less sperm soldiers would be ready for the 2nd attempt 2 days later. I don't want however, that DTD only once 12hrs after 1st OPK to lessen my shot at pregnancy. Augh! I thought I read to DTD the 2nd night of + OPK was the right timing for boy. LOL, this is why I really need to re-read all of "your" sticky's. :)

Either way, when we try again this month, I have already blown the diet on the 2WW, and will be swaying outside my pre-conceived "Perfect" sway anyway.

Let's hope for a BFP, because, if this goes on too many months then I will start struggling w/ being in the "summer" birth territory and I've given birth to my 2 DD's in July and both DS in the winter (Nov/Dec).

Atomic, this was NOT supposed to take more than 1 attempt. :) I suppose I should have had a "what if I don't get a BFP" scenario in mind. Man, if i was in my 20's this would not be so rushed. :)

I completely understand and that is how a lot of people feel too. Like swaying has to be this big complicated ordeal or it won't work. I really think that's why swaying has evolved to be so ridiculously strict. It's almost turned into an OCD-like set of rituals involving alchemy and transmogriphication LOL. But it doesn't fit in with nature - if it had to be like that to conceive a baby of a particular gender, then the human race would seriously have died out long ago. It cannot be that hard to conceive kids of both genders because most people manage it at least once without giving it a second's thought.

To answer your question, if you DTD 2 days before, there will be some sperm of BOTH genders there waiting for the egg. Shettles has been 100% debunked because both X and Y sperm are roughly the same size and live the same amount of time (if anything, Y may even live LONGER!) It ~is~ possible that less numbers of sperm will be produced (because the maximum number seems to be at 4 days abstinence) but it is going to be different for every guy at every time. Some guys recover quicker than others do and some months are probably better than others (I seriously think my husband's sperm sneer at frequent BD - he can still DTD 2 times in a row and he is 41 years old. :p) So just because one study says 4 days is best, that doesn't mean anything for you personally. 4 days was best for the guys who were in the study, on average, but I really do think that 2 days is totally adequate for most men. And even if less sperm is produced, it will probably be like the difference between 22 million and 23 million or something like that - there will still be PLENTY of sperm on hand.

If your DH is taking supps to help with sperm quality and if you are doing things to help with increasing EWCM, then even if his count is slightly less than it might have been if he had abstained for 4 days instead of 2, it won't matter because you have done SO MUCH to help those sperm survive, it's not going to make any difference if he makes 22 million sperm rather than 23 million anyway because more of them will survive to make it to the egg. You will still have every chance at conceiving a son and in fact you'll up your chances because you BD twice instead of just once...does that make any sense? Another kind of roundabout answer there. :/

[atomic sagebrush]

i hear ya. personally, im a perfectionist and NEED or prefer strict guidelines. some ppl work better when given freedom. im just taking into account what i THOUGHT i did with my 2 DDs (one born in june the other in feb) and doing the opposite. thats ALL the info i have on myself. i have no blood tests, minerals count, etc (i didnt sway with both dds for either gender but always wanted/thought they would be boys). i only know what i did and after reading all the stickies and IG and whatever, MOST things makes sense. *i* believe calcium = girls bc i was on calcium SUPPLEMENTS (bc i read its good to do that for bone growth in fetus), so i started earlier than when i TTCd. i believe the timing, shettles etc for ME bc i bd''d EVERY day starting from as SOON as i saw anything remotely thick and stretchy.
after studying my body hard core recently i now know that i BARELY have creamy CM (maybe 1-2 days) and have mostly EW, so why didnt i get a boy? prob bc i we dtd everyday (no chance for sperm to replenish), ate a lot of chicken (didnt i read somewhere that red meat was better for boys), cheese, yogurt, etc.

i guess what it comes down to is we can do everything hardcore sway for boy/girl but you still may get the opposite..bc like atomic has said in her stickies....boys/girls have been born thru out history without supplements, calicum pills, etc...and there are boys and girls born in every month winter or summer, etc. so i/we can just try our best and hope it works.

having said that, i STILL want a BOY!!!!!!!!!

and i love this site. i think atomic and viviene and whoever (sorry!) do a great job with it!! really APPRECIATE IT!

I know a lot of people want to be told, "Do X,Y,Z" but the problem is there is no guarantee and we don't even KNOW what the right things to do are, really. It just feels dishonest to me to tell people to perform this strict, unvarying set of rituals that isn't even proven by science and then blame them when it goes bad, because EVERYONE had that moment where they ate a burger or had an ice cream cone and no one's sway failed because of it. Plus it hurts people's sways and lowers their chances because I am with ya 110%, it's different for every person and you have to look at what you did and didn't do before (because for me, I also ate tons of calcium and took calcium supps and I have 4 boys!) I WISH I could tell everyone just to do this very simple list of things and give them a guarantee but I just don't feel good about it.

PS - I'm not saying anyone is overtly blaming anyone when their sway goes bad but I know for a fact that attitude is def. out there and I didn't appreciate getting yelled at when my sway went bad.

[iluvmyman]

You ladies are all SO wonderful. I think the emotion and that we will do anything for our children plays a roll here but the opposite side of that is the GD if we don't get the desired outcome. I think my heart as been being worked on about having a healthy child at all and I've mellowed out a bit after the 1st attempt. We can only do what we can do and that's the truth of it. I think you have a healthy attitude about it, Atomic, and it's so great to hear from you. I'm personally going to try to DTD on CD12 & CD14 this time to up my chances. I'm a bit dissapointed about my diet but I'm ready to give it a go either way and even thinking about girl names just in case.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have everything crossed for you Iluv. ((((hugs)))) and prayers.

[TTC5]

Atomic and everyone else how does my plan sound?

Ok so I tend to get a fade in pattern like this.. I go from clear - to a starting to darken up this lasts a day maybe 2. Then i get a very close to + and next day a def +. I am considering to DTD on the NIGHT of the def +. I will get DH to release on the evening that the tests start to darken up giving us a 48 - possible 72 hr abstaining period before DTD.

Thought??? I need help!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic and everyone else how does my plan sound?

Ok so I tend to get a fade in pattern like this.. I go from clear - to a starting to darken up this lasts a day maybe 2. Then i get a very close to + and next day a def +. I am considering to DTD on the NIGHT of the def +. I will get DH to release on the evening that the tests start to darken up giving us a 48 - possible 72 hr abstaining period before DTD.

Thought??? I need help!!

That sounds like a great plan! Excellent!

[gizmo77]

I know a lot of people want to be told, "Do X,Y,Z" but the problem is there is no guarantee and we don't even KNOW what the right things to do are, really. It just feels dishonest to me to tell people to perform this strict, unvarying set of rituals that isn't even proven by science and then blame them when it goes bad, because EVERYONE had that moment where they ate a burger or had an ice cream cone and no one's sway failed because of it. Plus it hurts people's sways and lowers their chances because I am with ya 110%, it's different for every person and you have to look at what you did and didn't do before (because for me, I also ate tons of calcium and took calcium supps and I have 4 boys!) I WISH I could tell everyone just to do this very simple list of things and give them a guarantee but I just don't feel good about it.

PS - I'm not saying anyone is overtly blaming anyone when their sway goes bad but I know for a fact that attitude is def. out there and I didn't appreciate getting yelled at when my sway went bad.

well said. even tho i saythat i NEED stricter guidelines, its more about me being strict with my own set of rules, not necessarily forcing ppl around me to be the same way. when i do something i do it all the way. i know in my heart that NONE of this stuff is 100% proven or will work for sure. and even if it was scientifically proven it STILL wouldnt be surefire bc like you have said studies are based on a small sample of ppl. so i cant even believe in science 100%. i can only believe in God 100% (altho some can question THAT too). thats why i keep telling myself, go as far as you can, then pray for it! and see what happens! i will be happy with healthy children (and a boy!!) jk! but i will still try to go all the way with the sway! thats why it bothers me personally about some of the conttradtictions but then i just take it witha grain of salt and remind myself nothing is guaranteed...
ps i would never ever ever hold you or anyone responsible for a failed sway. but i can defly see how initial emotions of a failed sway could come out as 'blame.' its a normal part of grieving. nonetheless, not nice!!

[TTC5]

Thanks Atomic!
Have had a pretty good cycle this last one (even tho not knowing 100% when I o'd I think it was close to day 14) and I am spotting this morning day 28 :)

Oh god, this is it..... lol..... eeeekkk!!

[atomic sagebrush]

well said. even tho i saythat i NEED stricter guidelines, its more about me being strict with my own set of rules, not necessarily forcing ppl around me to be the same way. when i do something i do it all the way. i know in my heart that NONE of this stuff is 100% proven or will work for sure. and even if it was scientifically proven it STILL wouldnt be surefire bc like you have said studies are based on a small sample of ppl. so i cant even believe in science 100%. i can only believe in God 100% (altho some can question THAT too). thats why i keep telling myself, go as far as you can, then pray for it! and see what happens! i will be happy with healthy children (and a boy!!) jk! but i will still try to go all the way with the sway! thats why it bothers me personally about some of the conttradtictions but then i just take it witha grain of salt and remind myself nothing is guaranteed...
ps i would never ever ever hold you or anyone responsible for a failed sway. but i can defly see how initial emotions of a failed sway could come out as 'blame.' its a normal part of grieving. nonetheless, not nice!!

:agree: I don't worry about people blaming me, but I do know that on some other sites people whose sways failed were blamed for not swaying 100% and then their sways were picked apart and that is NOT going to happen here!!! I didn't like it at all when I got yelled at when my sway failed and I just want you guys to know I will happily take the blame for every failed sway and none of you will ever get blamed even if you eat a million ice cream cones.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks Atomic!
Have had a pretty good cycle this last one (even tho not knowing 100% when I o'd I think it was close to day 14) and I am spotting this morning day 28 :)

Oh god, this is it..... lol..... eeeekkk!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! KFX and TX!!!

[TTC5]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! KFX and TX!!!

thankyou!!! Must write up my plan again for you ladies to go over with me =)

[jane]

i hear ya!
i hear ya. personally, im a perfectionist and NEED or prefer strict guidelines. some ppl work better when given freedom. im just taking into account what i THOUGHT i did with my 2 DDs (one born in june the other in feb) and doing the opposite. thats ALL the info i have on myself. i have no blood tests, minerals count, etc (i didnt sway with both dds for either gender but always wanted/thought they would be boys). i only know what i did and after reading all the stickies and IG and whatever, MOST things makes sense. *i* believe calcium = girls bc i was on calcium SUPPLEMENTS (bc i read its good to do that for bone growth in fetus), so i started earlier than when i TTCd. i believe the timing, shettles etc for ME bc i bd''d EVERY day starting from as SOON as i saw anything remotely thick and stretchy.
after studying my body hard core recently i now know that i BARELY have creamy CM (maybe 1-2 days) and have mostly EW, so why didnt i get a boy? prob bc i we dtd everyday (no chance for sperm to replenish), ate a lot of chicken (didnt i read somewhere that red meat was better for boys), cheese, yogurt, etc.

i guess what it comes down to is we can do everything hardcore sway for boy/girl but you still may get the opposite..bc like atomic has said in her stickies....boys/girls have been born thru out history without supplements, calicum pills, etc...and there are boys and girls born in every month winter or summer, etc. so i/we can just try our best and hope it works.

having said that, i STILL want a BOY!!!!!!!!!

and i love this site. i think atomic and viviene and whoever (sorry!) do a great job with it!! really APPRECIATE IT!

[TTC5]

Ok well I am CD 6 and so far we are dtd protected every 2nd day.. is this ok? Closer to O I am going to review when to cut off!!

[begonia]

TTC5 I think that is OK for DTD but I'm no expert ... my plan is similar though so if we're wrong at least we can be wrong together!

[TTC5]

Ah good!

[atomic sagebrush]

yes every two days is perfect. :agree:

[TTC5]

CD 10 today and we have decided to cut off now... what do you think Atomic?

[atomic sagebrush]

It's done now but I might have DTD one more time just to increase the odds of pregnancy.