why me?

[grace03]

I posted on in-gender when i found out my third was a boy 4.5 years ago and eventually had to cancel that account as i found that the more i read about gender dissapointment the worse i felt as well as feeling bad for myself i was feeling bad for others, then i would also be jealous of the people on there who did get their dg on their 3rd or 4th try. Im having my 4th boy, not planned, no sway and im still beside myself 3 days after finding out.

this website helps me as i have other people who sympathise with me however i have such a jealous personality at the moment that seeing people still having another chance because they either live in a country that you can do high tech, or they haven't had their scan yet so can still dream makes me feel worse.. yet at the same time i am drawn to this site scouring the ultrasound boards to see if my scan could be wrong and still clutching at straws that at my 20 week scan the penis has dissapeared.....

I was bullied in high school , have seperated parents, have been screwed over by friends in my adult life , this is not just a girl who has always gotten what i want and having a tantrum , my eldest is on the autism spectrum, my 3rd boy was extreme hard work and still can be.
we were looking into the snip as we though that 4 boys would be too much.

i struggled when a close friend had a girl in january and attending another friends very pink first birthday for her girl after 2 boys in feb. i was that sad and then bam pregnant in march!

saw my secret girl name everywhere and really hoped to see 3 lines at the 16 week scan .

its like the world is laughing at me, i thought my oopsie would be my girl so i could move on and not be sad at others parties etc anymore...

im stuck, i have a wonderful husband and good friends and family but found out my brothers wife is pregnant today , due 4 weeks after me. i am from 5 my husband from 3 and even though my eldest is 10 that will be the first cousin for my boys and knowing my bloody luck will be the first girl of the family!!!

i could write this and just save to the computer as i really do feel like woe is me,
but at least people here understand, even the ones who can go high tech and who do get the dg eventually at least they have been where i am at some point xxx

thanks for the vent xx

[I Love Ladybugs]

Grace03....although I can't say I am at the same place, when I was on IG often back in the day, it fed the GD dragon. I breathed green fire of jealousy at those online who just lucked out with a boy, then a girl. I felt a stab of the sadness of when my neice arrived after my brother and SIL had already had 2 boys...because in that moment, family dynamics would never be the same again. They are trying again and my oldes nephew who is going to be 5 was chatting on and on how he is going to get another baby sister!! Now...if I perchance am carrying pink, I will secretly delight in that fact for 10 weeks at last...but then I feel like I could be just bringing on the bad karma for simply wanting someone like my daughter.
The imaginary one, since I think that in 3 weeks I will be a posting here about my third son who I know that I will fall head over heels when he arrives. Ok, but back to you......
You have just found out, you need time to both adjust to the fact of 4 boys......and you will be blessed with granddaughters. There was a sweet lady who when I was preggo with DS2 that said her prayers had been for a blue eyed blond girl when she was expecting her second child.....but God only answered 2 of them....her second son was the cutest little one around! Now her first grandchild was a girl...she said that it all came full circle for her and she bought pink and pink and pink!!

[fish2012]

grace i'm so sorry, I know how you feel a bit I felt this way throu 8 months of ttc people I started with had their girl and i'd got no where. you must feel one hundred times worse

there are two ladies on the sept board expecting their 4th boys maybe pm them hun they have been on a hard journey but are now excited about their baby boys

thinking off you xxx

[retrolove1]

Im so sorry you are feeling this bad. I have terrible GD after 2 sons so I can begin to understand how you must be feeling.

The world seems so unfair. Everyone around me are having daughters or one of each, they all seem so perfect!!

I feel like that everyone is either laughing at me or thinking that I must be desperate for a daughter. Yes it's true but I don't want people thinking that!

I really hope that once he is here your GD will shrink. If you ever need to talk don't be afraid to message me! X x

[1+2+3boys]

It seems so unfair, I really feel for you. I always feel that people who have accidentical pregnacies after 3 of a kind or similar really deserve for it to be their DG! I have worried about the same thing happaning to me so I would never get a chance at swaying to see if it worked. I could not just read and run, I hope you can find peace soon in time to meet your new little guy. He will be amazing xo

[prayforprincess]

I completely feel your pain.
My brothers wife is now pregnant too and I just know it will be a girl. The 1st girl in the family too and the only granddaughter my parents will probably ever have. I really want to give my parents a granddaughter and my children a little sister -- but I am sure that won't happen.
It does, it feels like the world is laughing at us sometimes and I just dont' understand it all.
Maybe if we all start praying for another boy we will finally have our girls....

[Mommyof3boys]

Grace03 I feel your pain. I cried for nearly an entire week after I found out my 4th was a boy and still struggled up until a few minutes after he was born. I'm not going to lie I hoped right up until the last minute that they were wrong even though in my heart I knew they weren't. He hasn't even been here 2 weeks yet and I can truly say that I cannot imagine him being a girl now. It helped me to buy some boy stuff for my little guy and I worked really hard to not even think about him being a girl. We didn't pick out a girl name other than the 2 we considered before we found out he was a boy and I didn't buy a girl outfit for just in case he was a girl because I knew that it would be hard to see it in my bags. I hope you feel better about having your 4th boy soon, I know it is hard but there are many of us that know exactly how you are feeling.

[grace03]

thankyou for your kind comments, i have gone back onto my anti depressants that i was on before preg. low dose to avoid withdrawl for bub. it has helped me stop crying but i hate the zombie feeling i get, as if preg brain isnt bad enough.....
i have bought a few non blue items online, real shops are too much with their girl sections right next to the boys...
ill get there i hope i hate that i have lost excitement i hope i get it back!

for now im scouring the net for gender scan opposites lol

thanks again for replying xx

[rachel]

i really hope u can accept it and be happy in the end thats what im trying to do having my third boy trying not to be ungrateful and accepting what i cant change my thoughts r with u xx

[myrainbowgirl]

Grace, I am so sorry you feel this way. I understand. I am pg with#4, and would not at all be surprised if it's another DS. I am adding a link below for you to listen to an amazing song...I first heard it while TTC #4, and have heard it occasionally since, but literally just now on the radio as I was changing DS3. It's by Laura Story, and it's called "Blessings." (In case the link doesn't work.)

Laura Story - Blessings - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ)

Hope it gives you peace and comfort!

[grace03]

thankyou my rainbow girl its a beautiful song xx

[PlanB]

I'm sorry you are so sad :(

[Beckey]

I'm so sorry this is a sad experience for you, I completely understand as feel the same way currently, being pregnant with my 3rd boy. I think with each pregnancy the feelings just intensify as I deff didn't feel this way with my first 2 boys-I guess with them I still felt hope in my future, but with each pregnancy so does a chunk of that hope. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, least we can all be hear for each other.

[grace03]

thankyou for the replies,
i am starting to feel better more each week :)