Timing and tweaking?

[Coyleof7]

the more I read the more confused I get...so thought I should ask :worry:
DH has chosen to FR over abstaining. What he doesn't get is when?
My AF is ALWAYS 4days. so that would be CD 1-4. Then I always get EWCM about 10 days after that (cd 14?), which lasts for 2-3 days and then again around 4 days after that (cd 21 - 22) which lasts, normally, 24hrs. I always assume that I O at some point on first EWCM (doc says that so many days of EWCM could indicate a double O and need to be careful with the soy). I don't use OPKs as can't really justify the cost and I intend to start BBT charting when AF starts this month (should be 17th) so I'll have two months of charting from cd1 BBT.

DH asks:
But does he FR every day for 7 days prior to O (cd 4-11)?
Should he stop after 7days or just FR every day until CD 14 and then BD for the next few days (cd14 -18)?
Should he FR during AF (he'd be alone in that lol)?

I've kinda went on LE diet but find it hard to obtain the foods required (our food shopping meets kids needs over ours and (again) I can't justify the cost of buying food just for me) - but have cut out meat and started drinking tons of full-fat milk, as well as cardio 30mins a day. Have SI good to go in Sept (when we'll TTC our pink bundle) and have ordered a ton of folic acid as been told to start taking 1200mcg a day to help with sway.

[Becca.lms]

the more I read the more confused I get...so thought I should ask :worry:
DH has chosen to FR over abstaining. What he doesn't get is when?
My AF is ALWAYS 4days. so that would be CD 1-4. Then I always get EWCM about 10 days after that (cd 14?), which lasts for 2-3 days and then again around 4 days after that (cd 21 - 22) which lasts, normally, 24hrs. I always assume that I O at some point on first EWCM (doc says that so many days of EWCM could indicate a double O and need to be careful with the soy). I don't use OPKs as can't really justify the cost and I intend to start BBT charting when AF starts this month (should be 17th) so I'll have two months of charting from cd1 BBT.

DH asks:
But does he FR every day for 7 days prior to O (cd 4-11)?
Should he stop after 7days or just FR every day until CD 14 and then BD for the next few days (cd14 -18)?
Should he FR during AF (he'd be alone in that lol)?

I've kinda went on LE diet but find it hard to obtain the foods required (our food shopping meets kids needs over ours and (again) I can't justify the cost of buying food just for me) - but have cut out meat and started drinking tons of full-fat milk, as well as cardio 30mins a day. Have SI good to go in Sept (when we'll TTC our pink bundle) and have ordered a ton of folic acid as been told to start taking 1200mcg a day to help with sway.

You should drop the cardio. Anything under 60 mins you risk building muscle, raising Testosterone - swaying boy.

[sbowman]

To me it sounds like you NEED to be using OPKs because of your symptoms. You can buy them very cheaply online if you want to save some money (although they can be difficult to use). I would at least do it for one month so you know what's going on.


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[Coyleof7]

Definately won't be buying any opks - I'm highly fertile (so know I ovulate). Simply can't justify the costs, even cheap ones. We are "light swayers" as opposed to "heavy swayers". Meaning I'll try somethings, but not everything and I won't spent money on this. If we get another boy, then so be it - there'll be no disappointment - but we'd like to TRY for a girl, to even things out a bit. That's all - it's not our world, it's not getting the chance to take over - the minute, the SECOND, I spend more money (bought SI and Folic Acid) on something for this, means it's getting a priority and I can't let that happen. This is not a rant at you or anyone else - just trying to be clear on how I'd like to do this and why.

Going to try diet, drop cardio and start BBT charting (as never done that before) to try and see which of the 3 days is O day - I can't see why I really need OPKS, if temps works just as well. But does anyone have advice for DH?

[coralsky]

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?...I think if he ends up with 10-11days this is fine, but if ends up being more than 14days then that might significantly hurt your chances of conceiving (think that's the logic anyway, if I have understood it correctly!)

re OPKs - I understand what you are saying about the extra cost, esp if you would be really happy with a boy, I think the main advantage of them over temping is that they will tell you BEFORE you ovulate, when temps only really confirm once its happened.

I think if you have really regular as clockwork cycles, and you can have a few practice months with the temps before you start ttc, then you may be able to guess at O from temps alone with reasonable accuracy. But if you're cycles are irregular then it might be difficult.

Also are you planning on just one attempt each month?...I think this is getting good results for pink just now, and it is what I am trying first (but may re-think this if it takes me a while to get pg!)...I think if you do plan on one attempt the opks really do help with deciding when that one attempt should be in order to give you the best chance of conception (well they do for me anyway)....I got the cheapys for £7.90 for 50 of them from amazon.co.uk and always have good results from these (and obviously 50 lasts a while too!)...of course if you are set on not using them I completely understand, and not trying to "harp on" about it, just thought I would let you know the price I found, as it made a huge difference to me personally (as compared to the prices in boots, etc!)

As for diet, if you don't worry too much about sodium, its actually reasonably easy just to eat what everyone else is having minus the meat, and trying to be low fat where possible...just try and avoid snacking when you can. The only thing I would do different from what you described would be to cut out the full fat milk...I think high calcium is the IG way of doing things, and will quickly take your fat intake up on LE....however if you are sold on the calcium thing, then it would make more sense.

Good luck with your sway :)

[Coyleof7]

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?
I'm like clockwork lol that's why I'm only gonna temp for 2 months as should be able to tell when O will happen beforehand with that as I know it'll be the same for two months straight.

Also are you planning on just one attempt each month?
Planning on trying from September, hoping that baby will then be due around DH birthday or next two months will be our kids birthdays

As for diet, if you don't worry too much about sodium, its actually reasonably easy just to eat what everyone else is having minus the meat, and trying to be low fat where possible...just try and avoid snacking when you can.

Thanks for all this great advice! We weren't sure if it was 7 days up to and including O day or beforehand!! Also - my diet. I have a low sodium diet anyway, I don't use when cooking and never put it on food as I try to lead by example for my kids. I started drinking full fat milk as by cutting out meat and snacks, I'm really not getting fat from anywhere else as I'm only eating veg and some fruit as I'm not a huge fan of dairy products at the best of times (not vegan: everytime I get pregnant I crave dairy throughout, so by the time my babies have been born I'm just sick of the sight of cheese, ice cream, yoghurts etc.). I have, however, started eating a Mars bar everyday lol Oh - I've not even bothered with IG as they seem to recommend pumping yourself with clomid and on one post I read there was even a link on how to "bring it onto the country unprescribed" as some people heard it sways pink, but can't get it in the UK without a Dr and their Dr won't prescribe it unless there are fertility issues - one woman even said she faked infertility in order to try and get it....so I stopped going there as the site moderators should have been all over that.


This is great advice thanks - he's very much looking forward to "doing his bit to help" lol but we're finding it very hard to "believe" if you know what I mean? We keep getting drawn into the "what if" conversation of boys names, etc - but never with girls? Does anyone else have that mistrust? I feel guilty writing that!! I'm happy blue/pink just want to see if we can make it our way, if that makes sense. I'm not trying to be insensitive to those who have their hearts set one way or the other, but I will be pleased either way - it's actually more my kids who want the "baby" sister as my boys have a big sister "who won't play with them" and she's fed up having "just little brothers" lol

[Coyleof7]

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?

Just to clarify: He has to FR from end of AF to 4 days BEFORE EWCM (or O) so FR from CD 4 - 11?

When then do we DTD?

Obviously in September I should be able to predict O day, so I guess I'm asking (once we know):
Does he Fr til CD 10 then ABSTAIN or DTD til O?
Do we DTD before O or on O?
How many times should we DTD?

[coralsky]

Hi again

If DH is doing FR then you don't want to stop the FR then abstain, then DTD, as the abstain would then "cancel out" his FR efforts lol....I think if you only plan on one DTD attempt per cycle (this seems to be getting good results for pink) then you would want 7-10 days of FR (ie. DH releasing on his own, or with your help but not during DTD!...sorry TMI lol) then your DTD attempt, and I think the best chance of conception is to try and time your BD attempt to be the day before O if possible (I always have BD attempt the day of +opk, which is likely 24-36hrs before O)

So obviously cycle days would depend on when you ovulate...but for example if you discover after temping for a couple of cycles that you O on CD14, then you would want your one DTD attempt to be CD13, so in that case I would probably get DH to start FR around CD5-6....hope that makes sense?

If you want to increase your odds of conception then you may want to DTD more than once each cycle...I think 2 attempts still gets decent results for pink, but probably what you would want to avoid is 3-5 attempts inside your "fertile window" (from around 4days before O till O day) as this seems to sway blue.

However if you are having really regular cycles and are highly fertile, then you do have a good chance with one attempt, so if I was in your shoes I would probably try at least 2-3 cycles with one attempt first, and then maybe increase to 2 attempts after that if BFN...obviously this is a personal choice though, and also depends on how quickly you want to get pg!

Hope this helps a bit?....I am quite new to this too, so I am hoping I have explained it correctly lol!

Oh also, re diet, I think a mars bar is a great addition to your diet...nothing wrong with chocolate and sweets, as long as you have them with a meal, so as not to snack all day long!...I have become addicted to jelly beans on this diet!! (used to be haribo's but need to avoid these now cos of the gelatin :( if/when I get a BFP that will be one of the first things I treat myself to lol!)

Good luck and hope we both get our DD's x

[Coyleof7]

Thank you so much Coralsky - that makes so much sense to us now lol I have a feeling that only one attempt will be needed - our last boy was a sway opposite (Shettles - which I know realise is wrong!!), and we DTD only once during the fertile window (minus diet, FR, SI etc)...not through choice, but due to to just when we could as DH worked a lot of nights and, with 4 kids at that point, BD'ing during the day was never an option lol

I normally have a large bowl of (white) rice, with some herbs through it for flavour, with my Mars bar - not really finding the diet hard, just not easy to follow due to when I CAN eat as I'm not eating the same meals as the kids now (no potatos - chips, waffles etc, no meat, etc). I can't just take the bits I'm to avoid out as it would leave me with maybe just peas lol but if it's takeaway night I just have rice :)

FX then that we can both sway pink - I was addicted to jelly babies, jelly tots and cheese pizza when carrying my first - my daughter lol, but with my boys I only craved dairy? weird :) when are you attempting - we're waiting until September to aim for two months temping and hopefully a baby due around DH birthday x

[coralsky]

Not at all, so glad I could be of some help as this is all quite new to me too!! :)

I am at the moment in 2ww from 2nd attempt cycle actively ttc....started diet in Feb, but then decided to add the intense exercise in Mar13 (due to such good results, and me having quite a bit of weight to shift lol!)...so atomic suggested I would be best to wait a min of 6wks after starting exercise before ttc....so we had 1st attempt in May...then had to skip last cycle (long story, wont bore you with the details lol!) so now this is just my 2nd attempt last wk....I am only 7dpo (I think, or possibly only 6) so no BFP yet, but AF will be due next thur/fri so I should know for def by then....and if BFN, onto next cycle :)

I just accepted your friend request, that was really nice of you thanks....I didn't even notice you could do that!...obviously you have mastered the website much better than me, and I have been a member since Feb lol!

Anyway, good luck, and let me know if you need help deciding on anything else (I'm no expert mind, but I will certainly try & help if I can ;)) x

[Coyleof7]

Ohhh - the TWW, I always, always gave in and started testing at around 1w after lol last wee one we actually got a bfp 4 days before af was due, so we tested every day to keep "checking ", in the end DH bought a digital!!

I exercise quite a bit anyway, so not sure if that is a massive sway tactic or not - I've always been quite fit, although not a very healthy weight (never worked out how?) - but BMI is 25 now after 12weeks of exercising (lost 2stone over 8wks), before we decided even to try and sway!! So quite pleased that is part of pink sway!!

I only saw the friendship thing when I was on my profile and it said "Friend list" - I figured there must be a way lol

Oh, back to TWW...it's actually more tough isn't it - cos we still need to wait for AGES to see if the sway was a success! With our last I went for the scan at 20wks and before the sonographer could move, our wee one spun himself round and planted his butt, legs wide and all bits on display right where her hand was - she laughed and said "well, I hope you wanted to know what sex it is" ...very much a boy. I was expecting a huge wave of disappointment as I'd had my heart set on a wee girl - but I was sooo very pleased, I actually shocked myself! I had attended the scan on my own (in fact I attended all scan on my own and even ended up given birth by myself) but couldn't wait to run to the phone and tell everyone it was a boy!! Kinda hoping I'll have the same reaction if it's another boy - like I said I'm finding it hard to place 100% trust in the whole "swaying" - but I guess that's just me lol


So very, very excited for you now!!

[coralsky]

Haha yes I have been testing early too, but still BFN :( although it is still early, but I think if I don't see anything at all by say Tue, then it will likely be "on to next cycle"

OMG well done on the weight loss, that is fab!...I have lost around 2.5 stones but it has taken me around 23wks of diet + 17wks of exercising for an hour every day...2 stone in 8wks is great work!

Wow you are so brave giving birth on your own, I don't think I could ever do that, I am too much of a wimp, and want all the drugs they will give me, and DH there to hold my hand and get shouted at lol!!

Yeah I know what you mean about not believing we can get the gender we want, but I think that attitude will stand us in good stead for not being too upset if we get boys!....after finding this site, I really do believe in swaying now (wasn't convinced by IG) but I would like to think my eyes are well & truly open, as I honestly believe if DH+I had just TTC normally with no swaying I would have been 80-90% likely to have a boy (had such a boy-mum lifestyle without realising!)...so the way I am looking at it is, even if I can swing it back to 50/50 then that is at least a CHANCE at a DD, which I doubt I would have had before!...I really hope I get there in the end, or at least get pg with a healthy baby...I think I will be happy with a boy too, but it may take me a few wks to get over the disappointment of "no pink" after finding out...but I will know I tried my best and "he" was just meant to be :)

Fx for both of us x

[atomic sagebrush]

Women can have EWCM for days and days in a variety of patterns normally and it has nothing to do with double ovulation. A double ovulation would occur within a 24 hour period anyway (and usually sooner than that). It is biologically impossible for people to ovulate days and days apart because after ovulation the corpus luteum forms and generates progesterone that inhibits further eggs from being released.

People get EWCM in all different patterns and this can vary by the month. Sometimes your body just shoots out a little bit of EWCM in advance (keep in mind, people aren't "set" to bathe/shower daily and so a bit of EWCM even a week in advance of ovulation would help with conception even many days away). It's also totally possible to get some EWCM after ovulation. I had EWCM for a few days after ov. with my DD.

I do recommend you get OPK. Get the cheap ones online and they are not that much money really. There's no better way to get a heads up warning that you are about to ovulate. Temping only tells you what has happened, it can't help you predict what is going to happen.

my advice is to stick with one attempt, that's given best odds of pink. And he needs to have 7-10 attempts BEFORE that one attempt. So whatever pattern he goes with, he needs to have 7-10 releases BEFORE that attempt. All the rest of what you want me to answer depends on when you ovulate and without OPK or a chart to look at, I simply can't say when that is.

Drinking tons of full fat dairy is going to sway blue for you. Dairy can't be an unlimited free food, it has too much nutrition. If you MUST treat dairy as an unlimited food, use skim dairy.

30 min. of cardio is moderate exercise which tends to sway blue. You need to up that to 60 min. if possible, 45 at the very least.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just to clarify: He has to FR from end of AF to 4 days BEFORE EWCM (or O) so FR from CD 4 - 11?

When then do we DTD?

Obviously in September I should be able to predict O day, so I guess I'm asking (once we know):
Does he Fr til CD 10 then ABSTAIN or DTD til O?
Do we DTD before O or on O?
How many times should we DTD?

he needs to do FR 7-10 days before the earliest attempt that can possibly get you pregnant.

So, if you were doing one attempt, he needs to release 7-10 days before that attempt. If you are doing 3 attempts starting O-2, he needs to release 7-10 days before that first attempt.

It is totally impossible for any of us to give you a CD date that he should start on, because we don't know what day you ovulate on, if that makes sense