Dreaming Pink Opposites Due Winter 2013/14

[myrainbowgirl]

Ilovebagels - I completely understand wanting your brother to have a boy! For a little girl to be in your face all the time would be so hard...fx for a little boy for him, too! Hope you're starting to feel somewhat better...it took me about 2-3 weeks to really start coming out of my funk. Things are definitely getting better now, not that I am "there" yet. Hugs!

Retrolove - I followed your nub thread, and was sad for you when I saw your update. I am so sorry you didn't get your DD. I understand fully, as I am having my 4th boy...and I was SURE this one was a girl. I can honestly say that the devastation and crying will improve. At first I thought that I would be stuck feeling that way for the rest of my life. Definitely not so. Feeling better already! (I found out a little over a month ago.) Anyway, big hugs to you!!

Emmyroo - I know how you feel. My big scan is next Wednesday (at 18 weeks), and I am secretly hoping Mat21 and my nub were wrong! I know it's another boy, but I can't help but hope! I am praying his little legs are WIDE open so there's no question at all. It will kill me if his legs are crossed or too close together to get a good look. Fortunately, in the past, none of my boys have been shy, so I'm hoping this one won't be either. I just need 100% closure, you know. I want to bond with him and think of a name and decorate his nursery and all of that stuff...I'm sure I could go ahead and do it based on my Mat21 results (99.4% accurate), but I guess I just want to see the goods myself. Haha. I'm a nut! Anyway, hope in time you're able to get excited...I am not there yet either, but I think I'll get there. Hugs to you, too!

AFM - My big scan got moved to next Wed, the 25th. Doc had to reschedule. Looking forward to seeing little boy, hoping it helps me to bond with him...still feeling somewhat disconnected from this pregnancy, in part because of GD, but also since I am barely feeling any movement, due to anterior placenta.

I find myself feeling more at peace about this LO, so glad that time heals. I know he will be such a special addition to our family, and I am looking forward to see how he fits in, who he looks like, and what his personality is like. I'm also feeling more at peace about a fifth...I think big families are wonderful. I've witnessed it firsthand...my dad is from a family of 5 kids. They have so much fun together, and there is lots of love and laughter. It will be worth it for a DD! Of course, if we go natural, I know it's a possibility that it will be DS5, and not sure how I'd handle it. Right now, I just have to trust that God really is behind all the rainbows. I could of course end up deciding that my GD is what fueled all that, and that we'll need to go HT, or just pray that God does indeed want us to have a daughter and trust Him to bring her to us. We're already praying He does!

[Mabel_79]

Hi all,
Emmyroo- sorry that you didn't get a wonderful surprise at 20wk scan. I almost booked a private gender scan the other day as still clinging to the hope they were wrong, but after spending hours pouring over google images of ultrasound pics and knowing what I saw clearly with my own eyes I know it would just be a waste of money.
I am 25 weeks now and getting loads of big kicks- he's an active one for sure! I am very excited about getting to meet him and curious wondering who he will look like (ds1 is very fair like me and ds2 is dark like my husband), but not an hour, minute or second goes by when I don't find myself thinking about the daughter I will never have.

Really hoping it will get easier when he arrives but right now I am finding little point in this pregnancy. Still feel sick as a dog, can barely walk due to SPD. Not enjoying this pregnancy one little bit. Plus the regular blood tests and monitoring due to my previous ICP will start in ernest now so feel It's goin to be a long 15 weeks!!

Xx

[Dreamofpink]

Mabel, I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. Spd is a bitch, I had it with ds2. I hope you're getting support from DH. What is ICP? Good to hear that you're getting regular monitoring from the midwives.

It is exciting trying to imagine how our LO's will turn out! I do that too, but know that he'll be his own little person. I just find that bit a huge mystery, I can't work out how he'll change the dynamics of our little family yet!

Emmy, I'm glad to hear that your scan went well! Sorry that it's still a little boy though :( You've had quite a journey to get to this point & it must be hard to accept the outcome. :hugs: x x

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[EmmyRoo]

Mabel and myrainbow girl you both said exactly how I feel, like I'm not really connected to the pregnancy and not enjoying it like I should, and like I wanted to when I first got pregnant with this last ever baby.

I have an anterior placenta too which explains the faintness of the kicks, and when I do get little movements it always makes me smile, I know I love him and meeting him will only strengthen that, but I can't help feeling a bit "what's the point?", if that makes sense? Yesterday I just felt like I've got another 20 weeks of getting fatter, more uncomfortable and my SPD getting worse (I'm getting the first twinges now), leading to another horrifically painful labour, delivery and post-natal period, and all for what? Another boy who no-one is going to be overly excited about cos it's just more of the same, who will grow up too quickly and start wrecking my house alongside his brothers, ignoring my instructions and exhausting me just like DS1 and DS2 do now. I will feel like I've just signed myself up for another 7, 8, 9+ years of hell when I SHOULD be looking forward to the excitement of meeting my first ever DD. :tissue: Then I just HATE myself for even entertaining thoughts like that. I mean, this gorgeous baby boy is my rainbow after the loss in January which was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. He didn't ask to be conceived and I knew very well when I went into this sway that there was every chance it wouldn't work, especially after I lost the first baby (after a really strong sway) and was just too desperate to get pregnant again to sway as strongly the second time. It was the right way to go for me at the time, so I'm trying not to feel regret, but I'm just finding it really hard to see the positives in this and look to the future happily, iykwim?

DH just texted me to say his sister is 9 weeks pregnant. She has PCOS and has had about 4 miscarriages (that we know of) before and after her DD (now 2) was born. My initial reaction was nerves thinking "oh no, another person who's going to have a girl". :( What is the matter with me?? I should feel nothing but happiness for her given what she's been through! I just feel like the worst person in the world and wonder how I'll ever get through GD if I panic every time someone gets pregnant that they're going to have a girl and it'll rub my sadness in my face again. Like it's all about me?? AAAARRGH!! :hair:

x

[Mathilde]

Emmy, I could have written your post. Good luck, I hope it gets better for us both!
Mathilde

[Dreamofpink]

Mathilde, this must be so hard for you after everything you've been through already to try & get your dd. You know we're here for you whenever you need to vent over it all. I do want to congratulate you on your healthy little boy even though I know it's not what you wanted. :heart:

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[ilovebagels]

Uggggggggggggggggggghhhh my brother is having a girl. I don't know if I explained my situation. I have a dd, and wanted to give her a sister (I know, I'm greedy. It's just what I know and I know we can't help what we prefer, but I just wanted another). Actually, I just always wanted two boys or two girls (didn't care which). I grew up with two brothers and was/am always jealous of same sex siblings that are best friends. Anyway, I was coming to terms with the fact that I was never going to give my DD a sister and realized she has a cousin a little bit older, which is pretty close to a sister, right? I thought if my brother's kid is a boy, it would be a perfect opportunity to give my son a little buddy. Anyway, that's not going to happen. I guess he'll be the only boy in a family full of girls. Am I way over thinking all of this? Who's gonna bro down with my little son now? And will my DD be all upstaged by this new adorable cousin?

[Waiting4Daisy]

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[Mabel_79]

Dreamofpink- ICP stands for intraheptatic cholestasis of Pregnancy (formally known as Obstetric Cholestasis). Your liver and gall bladder don't cope we'll with the pregnancy and you get altered liver function and raised bile acids. Research is limited but seems to suggest that the raised bile acids in your blood can affect the baby and cause stillbirth. I was diagnosed with it in my last pregnancy and have been told I have 90% chance of getting it in subsequent pregnancies. They will do regular blood tests to monitor my bile acids from now on and if any results are elevated I will be started on medication and have to go in for twice weekly fetal monitoring as well as the twice weekly bloods. Pain in the arse when the local maternity unit has closed and the nearest is now an hour away. I always knew my chances of getting ICP again were high and any future pregnancies would be closely monitored but it seemed worth it for another shot at my girl so I shouldn't moan- knew what I was getting myself into from the start!

Emmyroo- yes, I feel the same about not being bothered with this pregnancy. Told my midwife as much the others day. She didn't comment which surprised me. Was expecting some words of comfort, but she seemed to ignore my comments.

Nicest comment I have had recently is from my DS1's previous teacher. Bumped into her in the playground and she rushed over when she saw my bump to congratulate me. I told her we'd tried one last time for a girl but it was another boy and she just hugged me and said how amazing it will be to have three little boys running round together and that my eldest son is just the loveliest boy and and was an absolute joy to teach so how amazing this one will be too. Very sweet of her.

Hope everyone has a good weekend xx

[ilovebagels]

Waiting4Daisy thank you so much for the perspective. although that's kindof what i'm scared of! is your brother a nice well adjusted man today? or did all that spoiling go to his head??

[Waiting4Daisy]

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[myrainbowgirl]

Mabel - What a sweet thing for DS1's teacher to say. I hope it encouraged you! My DS1 started kindergarten this year, and they have a colored behavior chart...he has been the only kid on the highest color, and is never below expectations. While he is a challenge at home, it appears that he is doing wonderfully in school. Makes me so happy, looking forward to parent-teacher conferences to hear more specifics. It feels great when someone who spends so much time with your child thinks they're wonderful! So good job, mama! Ugh on the ICP. Hope it doesn't recur this time! And the SPD, either. I think I've had it before, but can't be sure exactly. Maybe if I had it I'd know for sure! I just know I have had some serious pelvic pain during my pregnancies...is spd where it feels like the bones around your VJ are pulling apart? Because I did have that. NOT FUN. Hope things improve!

Emmy - I can completely relate to your feelings. I only got pregnant because I wanted a girl. I (stupidly) didn't really consider that it would be another boy, and told DH that if I had known we'd have another boy, I would NOT have gotten pg at all. And yes, my DS's are challenging, and I am sure that this one will be, too. But I know that in the end, he was meant to be, and that he will bring us joy and happiness and that I will be so, so glad God brought him to us. It's just hard to imagine right now. And I understand hating yourself for feeling that way...I have, too. Like you said, our little babies did not ask to be conceived, so it certainly isn't their fault...such a weird, confusing time. I think the more we start to feel movement, the more we will connect with our little men, and begin to get excited to meet them. Hugs to you!

Dream - I am so happy you are mostly past where the rest of us are. It's comforting to know we'll get there! :) Good luck with all the packing and your upcoming move. I did it last summer, not pg, and I cannot imagine doing it now. You are brave! ;)

Mathilde - Welcome, but so sorry you have to join us. :( I was really hoping for you that your nub was wrong! I have been where you are, and the feelings can seem hopeless. But I really think you will come out of it! My DS3 is absolutely gorgeous, and I cannot imagine not having him! Time will heal your heart. Just give yourself time.

Ilovebagels - Bummer on your brother's baby. I agree with the others, though, I think your son will be the special one being the only boy! Everyone will be so happy you are bringing a little blue into the family. :) I know it's not what you wanted, and I'm sorry for that. But please know that little boys absolutely adore their mommies!!

Waiting4Daisy - Is your feeling that this is DS4 just a gut feeling, or do you have any other reason to believe that? I thought your nub was 50/50? I am in your shoes with trying for another. I initially thought we would go HT or adopt, but so far none of those options feel right. That could change, but right now, we're thinking if we have another it will be natural. I honestly can't believe I'm willing to risk it! And I may change my mind, but for now, that's where we are. I think my biggest problem was trying to control everything. And I believe that God gave me the desire for a daughter, and that HE will be the one to make it happen, not me. Talk about having to have faith!! DH really is against me swaying again, except for diet (since it actually seemed to help my fertility because of my PCOS), so I would really be leaving it up to God. Scary, but I trust Him! And if it's boy #5, then I guess we'll have a 6th. LOL!! DH actually said he was willing to keep going till we get a girl, but I am already 36. Having kids into my 40's isn't ideal, and truly, truly don't want LOADS of kids. We may decide that 4 is plenty! But we don't have to decide anything just yet, thank goodness. Would love to have an oops! That would be amazing. :)

[Dreamofpink]

Myrainbowgirl, did you buy a plan from Atomic? I wish I had now as, like you, I know that it was the control-freak in me that was my undoing. I swayed IG style doing a strict diet & timing for a year before finding GD. It still took me 9 months here as I was too strict on the diet, lost too much weight & had to gain to get pg. :( Thanks for the kind words, I do mostly feel at peace with my 3rd little boy although I still have my moments of woe is me. Perhaps it's because moving to a bigger house brings with it the gift of more children. DH always said if we had a big house I could fill it! We never believed we'd get lucky & be able to move like this for quite sometime though. I waited a very long time to get pg, went through all shades of GD and have realised that no matter what ds3 is our destiny & I can't wait to meet him. Both of my boys are so sweet playing with my old dolls "getting ready for the baby" - much to the consternation of DH!

Mabel, it's so wonderful to hear such a positive thought from someone re. all boy families! I wish it was more acceptable rather than making you feel like you've drawn the short straw in family make-ups.

Myrainbowgirl, you must be soooo proud of ds1! He sounds like a delightful little boy :) You are going to have one awesome quartet of boys!!

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[emmake]

Myrainbowgirl, I really liked your post, in fact I was experiencing a severe GD during my last pregnancy (I gave birth 2 months ago to my DS2), now I cannot imaging my life without him but I feel so much ashamed not willing that pregnancy. I also got pregnant only in the hope to get a girl, if my first one would have been a girl, I would not go for a second one. Now we're thinking of HT, but I am hesitant, I have PCOS thus at higher risk for OHSS, but if HT does not work for me, I really do not dare swaying as I would not be able to cope with the third son… I'm ashamed to admit but all these negative reactions from other people to 'only boys' families… My desire for a daughter is so big so I do not know what is the right thing to do...

[ilovebagels]

You're so sweet. Thanks for all the nice words. I'm just letting the universe do it's thing! And I seriously think a house full of boys is so adorable. I just realized our due dates are 4 days apart ! I really don't know how you can be team green - I'll be excited to find out right along with you!

[Waiting4Daisy]

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[mindyjean]

It's so nice to read these posts and know I'm not alone. I am trying to so hard to get excited about the last few weeks of pregnancy--I am definitely getting excited to meet DS #3, but I know deep down I would just be so much more excited if I was meeting my daughter. I force myself to not think about it during the day, but allow myself to day dream about it before I go to bed at night, that way if I cry, no one will see me. The idea of going HT is the only thing that is keeping me going.

Had a few more nice comments in the past week. 2 colleugues said "way to go, because 3 boys is easier to raise than 1 girl!" Then a few of my former students, who are now seniors in HS and had been my students with my first 2 pregnancies said "ANOTHER ONE? You need a girl, you better try for a 4th!" Makes me feel good when people think we should have another one because that means I must be doing something right! :)

[Mathilde]

Well, baby has a name:) Edward James:) knitting a rug for him in yellow:) and have got all my baby kit out to "play" with, it helps:) DH said he was sorry for being so strict about no more, he wants me to be happy and will see how things go! It will only be ht in the future though!

[Waiting4Daisy]

Mathilde I love the name and I love that DH has said maybe to HT.

[ilovebagels]

Isn't it strange how people's comments can completely affect our attitudes? Whenever I say I'm having a boy and people are excited and say things like "oh that's so cool!" I immediately get more excited.

[GeCon]

Very excited about our wee man inside now. He is very active and when we talk to him when he is awake, he responds by kicking back, it is lovely. There is nothing like feeling this little person inside you wiggle around. We think we are also settled on a name now.

Bought some lovely things over the last few days... you can see them here if you are interested.

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/baby-child/33763-lets-share-our-beautiful-boy-clothes-finds-3.html

[Dreamofpink]

Isn't it strange how people's comments can completely affect our attitudes? Whenever I say I'm having a boy and people are excited and say things like "oh that's so cool!" I immediately get more excited.

Yep, I totally agree. However, people rarely get excited when you already have two boys. I had a stupid comment from a smug mum of a pigeon pair yesterday. She said 'ooh, you're house will be so full of testosterone!!' then followed it up with 'well you certainly can't choose, you get what you're given!! Like that's really helpful! It's always people like that who shout that last statement the loudest, like they're special because they got what they wanted whereas the rest of us have to put up & shut up! My cousin with 2 girls is the same. :sigh:

[Dreamofpink]

Mathilde, I love your LO's name! It's so suave & sophisticated! Gecon, can you share your chosen name with us? It is absolutely wonderful to feel them move around isn't it?! although I didn't appreciate the boot to my side when I was bent over changing the sheets on ds2's toddler bed today!
I think we're fairly settled on the name Isaac and I love the middle name Amias, which means 'loved'. I think I'll have to push that name post-birth when if my fantasy comes true I'll be celebrating giving birth naturally for the first time, DH'll think I'm wonderful & let me go with that middle name! Bahaha!!

[zebaniee]

I know what you mean about other people's comments. My mil was over tonight and told me that one of the cousins is due a week after me and is having a boy and her bump is so small. The comment made me feel inadequate like I wasn't good enough because I am not pregnant with a boy and that I must be huge. Some people just don't think :(

[myrainbowgirl]

emmake - Glad you liked my post. And congrats on your sweet baby boy...they really are such sweet little blessings, huh? My DS3 is the cuddliest, sweetest little boy in the world. He just LOOOVES me! :) I need to treasure it, because I bet if I ever have a DD, she will be that way with her daddy! :)

Dream - I didn't buy a plan from Atomic. And I won't in the future...not because I don't think it would work, but DH would NOT be happy. Not because of the money (he has agreed to adoption or HT, potentially), but just because he doesn't like the idea of me controlling everything. Not that adoption or HT aren't controlling things! LOL! But anyway, if we go natural, he is totally fine with diet, as it actually seemed to help my fertility. I know while swaying pink, that is not the point, but because I did the 'PCOS safe' LE diet, it actually helped me get pg much, much faster than I ever have. So, I think for diet I will do more vegetarian, whole grains, and lower sugar. I think the other thing I will add in is intense exercise, simply because I will be exercising anyway, might as well do it pink-style! But I think that's it. No MyFitnessPal to keep track of diet and exercise, no OPK's, no temping, no antihistamines or other supps. MAYBE I will use Sylk, just because we have a giant tube of it. Gotta use it up! Haha. But that's what I'm thinking for now, if we decide to have #5. But I am really, really wanting to leave it up to God, because I really feel like He's the one who promised me a girl, and He will have to make it happen. Feels good to let go!

GeCon - Thank you so much for starting the boy clothes thread! Love, love, love what I'm seeing...everything is so adorable! And YAY that you're getting excited. Just takes time!

Zebaniee - Ugh on your MIL's comment! I'm sure you look amazing!

Mathilde - YAY for DH being willing to have another. What a relief! And love baby boy's name. Sounds like you are feeling much better, and I am SO happy for you!

Mabel - Glad you've gotten some nice comments lately. So encouraging!

Mindyjean - No doubt, you are not alone! So glad you are able to find some encouragement and relief on this thread. :)

Ilovebagels - Sounds like maybe you're feeling a little better, too? My DS3 is the cuddliest, sweetest little lover. I think you will adore having a little boy. :)

AFM - Big scan on Wednesday. Will be 18 weeks exactly. Looking forward to seeing DS4's little profile and face and getting confirmation that all is well. Not feeling much movement at all...have an anterior placenta, and it seems to really be softening anything I would normally be feeling. Had it with DS2, as well...think I didn't feel stronger movements with him till 18-19 weeks. Anyway, hoping that seeing him will help me to bond with him and get more excited about this pregnancy. Will probably start trying to think of a name in earnest and maybe even getting some of his nursery décor. Fun!

[EmmyRoo]

Hey myrainbowgirl, how did the big scan go?
X

[myrainbowgirl]

Had my big ultrasound yesterday, and he is still a HE! :) (Thanks for checking in, Emmyroo!) I truly wasn't expecting anything else, so felt completely fine about it. I had actually been a little worried that something was wrong, because I have been feeling so little movement (anterior placenta). SO, I was so happy that everything looked great, I really didn't care about gender. I was also glad that it was clear and not ambiguous...that would have been WAY worse! Got him some baby bedding in the afternoon at a gigantic consignment sale in our town, that only happens twice a year. I had never gone to one, but a friend told me I could in without paying the entrance fee and go early since I am pregnant. I was a part-time teacher, but quit my job at the end of the school year (too stressful with the kids)...so we are trying to cut back in little ways. Thought I would give the consignment sale a try...OMG, it was AWESOME!! There was tons of bedding, and I found a very cute set that looked brand new...$14 included a bumper, crib skirt, toddler pillow sham, and 3 crib sheets. Also picked up some cute maternity clothes for CHEAP, as well as some books and games for the boys for Christmas. Anyway, getting baby's bedding has helped me already start planning who's going to be in which room and how the furniture will be arranged, etc. Need to start getting serious about a name, too. Of course, that's a joint discussion with DH, so I guess we'll get around to it when we can, lol. But SO happy DS4 is healthy and I'm starting to "settle in" with this baby. I am blessed!

[EmmyRoo]

Hey rainbow, I'm so glad your scan went well and you sound so positive about your DS4! That sale sounds great too, I think it really does help to make it real to buy things for them, I can't wait to get some cash to buy some wee bits and bobs for this one, and do up his bedroom!

I'm feeling more positive about DS3 too, mainly because my sister gave birth on Friday to a baby BOY! I was absolutely dumbfounded, I read my mums text over and over expecting it to have corrected itself to "girl" but it hadn't! The background is that my sis has a DD and was expecting her second team green baby, and I was CONVINCED it would be another girl, especially as I had just had confirmation that I was having another boy right when she was due, and because she didn't care about gender and I wanted a girl so badly, it would be typical that she'd get two and I'd not even get one.

SO, as soon as I heard it was a boy it was such a huge wave of relief, and I began thinking about the reality of it and realised that having boys isn't some punishment that happens to me, it's a blessing, just like having girls, they are all gifts that we are lucky enough to be given. I'm so glad my baby will have a boy cousin to play with when he's older, as he will be 4.5 years younger than DS2 and there's the danger of him being left out of DS1 and DS2's games. My new nephew is so beautiful too, it kind of jogged my memory of how precious newborns are and made me so excited that I will have one in a few months!

On the down side though, I am now terrified of giving birth again. My sister was aiming for a second homebirth, but her DS got stuck as his head was turned the wrong way, so although the first hours of her labour were perfect, when she was in her pool pushing nothing was happening. Eventually she was rushed to hospital at 4.30am by ambulance, where she had an episiotomy and ventouse delivery. The baby's head has a huge bruise from the suction and you can see a graze on his head from where he was being squashed against my sisters pelvic bones.

So although everything worked out fine and they're both healthy and safe, she is in a lot of pain with her stitches (she only had a graze last time) and she's shuddering in horror at the memory of the birth, saying she could feel the sawing movement of them cutting her even though she was numbed for it. The whole thing is scaring the living sh*t out of me tbh!
I have been lucky to have two straightforward water births with only gas and air. DS1 got stuck and I had to push for 3 hours but otherwise they were both uneventful. DS2 was a longer labour and did me more damage, a 2nd degree tear, than DS1 which was 1st degree, but I refused stitches both times cos the thought makes my skin crawl. I keep thinking how I'm 4 years older than I was the last time I gave birth, I haven't exercised in over a year, I'm unfit, I'm really gaining weight like nothing on earth, my pelvic floor feels weak and tired already and I'm only 22 weeks, how the HELL will I get through another birth?! If my little sister can have unforeseen complications then I can too, what if that happens to me, I don't think I can deal with that kind of intervention.

Is anyone else scared to death of birth? It's like I've focused on getting pregnant and swaying for so long, I haven't really thought through the fact that I'll have to give birth again, if that makes sense?

X

[Mabel_79]

Emmyroo-I'm right with you on being terrified of giving birth.
My last labour in 2009 was a really unpleasant experience and at the end when I was only 8cm dilated my boy got into distress and they thought they were going to have to c-section me. Luckily as I'd only given birth 20 months previously I was able to 'push' my cervix open the final 2cm and deliver naturally.
Getting worried that if the same happens again it will have been over 4 years since my last labour- doubt I'd be able to do that again.

Definitely not looking forward to the whole labour thing again. Which is funny as after my first birth (a really lovely, gentle, natural labour spent mostly at home until the final hour), I was so looking forward to doing it again for no.2. Then no.2's birth terrified me!
X

[EmmyRoo]

I know what you mean Mabel! Both my births were waterbirths so fairly natural and intervention-free, but where I was excited to do it again after DS1, I just cried non-stop for about an hour after DS2 came out about how horrible birth is! I was even in tears listening to the woman in the next room howling and I'd already given birth!

I think the fact that since my last baby, my friend and now my sister have had unpleasant experiences has really knocked my confidence. After DS1 I felt like a goddess that could handle anything, and like giving birth was something I was really good at, but now I feel like it's all up in the air, anything could happen and the fact that I'm 36 (will be 37 by the time this one is born) and unfit can only work against me. I'm also scared about the birthweight thing, the idea that every baby is heavier than the last. DS2 was 8lb 11oz (3900-odd grams I think) and I just can't see my pathetic pelvic floor being able to handle a bigger baby than that! Unfortunately I can't find anything on the internet other than anecdotal evidence for babies getting bigger or not, labours getting shorter each time or not, or births being easier each time or not. *sigh* This does not help the boy-mum control freak personality!

X

[Mabel_79]

We sound similar Emmyroo! I was looking up similar things after a few well meaning 'friends' told nd their third labours were definitely their worst (don't you just love friends like that).
I had such an easy birth with DS1 (to the point that on arriving at hospital I was told I was clearly not in labour as a labouring woman wouldn't be smiling through contractions and to go home. They refused to examine me and sent DH home to get the car to take me home. He returned to find me up on the bed giving birth to everyone's surprise. I felt very smug and like I was 'good' at giving birth.
Expected DS2 to be a breeze and planned a home water birth. Then 3 weeks before due date was diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis and they induced me at 38wks. Due to the condition they wanted me flat on my back on the bed for continual monitoring which kept stopping the contractions. I ended up having all sorts of drugs, being shouted at by a consultant for not wanting an epidural and being told they needed the bed in the morning so why wouldn't I let them give me more drugs to speed up the labour. In the end I had the epidural and baby got distressed- I cried the whole labour as felt I had 'failed'. It was awful.
I've been told I have a 90% chance of getting the condition and needing to be induced again so pretty scary.

[myrainbowgirl]

Hi ladies! Hope you're all having a great weekend. We had a very fun day hiking in the mountains with friends, out to lunch, peaceful afternoon at home, kids in bed early, and now watching my college football (American football) team...woohoo!

Labor & delivery - Don't worry about 3rd births, ladies! Mine was just fine...uncomplicated, didn't need Pitocin...did happily get an epidural, however. Anyway, my guess is that yours will be quicker than your last, and hopefully that will keep drugs to the minimum! I am praying I have a good experience this time, too. I know each time it's different, but praying mine is similar! :)

AFM - Doing ok, no issues with baby...feeling a little more movement, but still not much. Grrr. Hoping it means he's laid back! God knows I need another like DS2!

In other news, my 94-year-old grandpa had a stroke this week, and it does not look like he's going to make it. He was married 60+ years before my grandma passed away 3 years ago...they have 5 kids and loads of grandkids and great-grandkids. Such a legacy my sweet grandpa is leaving. I got to talk to him on the phone today (he is 1700 miles away across the country), although he couldn't respond much...he did say a couple things, and I was so happy to be able to say goodbye and tell him how much I love him. Done some crying today, but I know I will see him again in heaven one day. :)

[EmmyRoo]

Oh rainbow I'm so sorry about your grandpa. My grandma died on saturday so I know how you feel. She was 90 and had been declining all year since breaking her hip in February, so it wasn't entirely unexpected but still feels like a shock when it happens.

I might be awol over the next week as I'll be away to my parents' for a week for the funeral and a holiday we planned then anyway.

It feels like everything is happening at once at the moment, my sister was rushed to hospital in an ambulance (again, 2nd time in 10 days!) with mastitis and is on IV antibiotics now. What a stressful time! I'm feeling lucky to only be exhausted and hoping that's all I have to contend with!

Sorry to rush, hope everyone is doing well.

x

[myrainbowgirl]

Emmyroo - So sorry to hear about your grandma. So sad...will be praying for your family! My grandpa is still hanging on, although he is in hospice care and not expected to recover. At this point it's a waiting game, which is hard. I live across the country, so am just waiting till he passes away to make plans to fly there for the funeral, etc. I did get a chance to say goodbye to him, and I am so grateful for that. I totally feel your pain! Hugs!!

[retrolove1]

Sorry to hear about your grandpas and grandmas :(

I'm hoping this labour will be as nice as my previous 2 but too quick because I need to sort the boys out.

Got got 20 week scan on Monday, I hope everything is ok with the little man. My sister has just found out she is expecting again (her son is only just turned 6 months) I'm thrilled for her because it was hard work for her to conceive her son with 4 years of trying and failed IVF she ended up conceiving naturally. She's only 5 weeks but has already brought some cheap gender prediction test online which has come out as girl. I don't mind if she has a girl but right now I just want my scan confirmed boy so I can move on properly. I'm not quite ready to start thinking she is having a daughter, she know I wanted a girl so badly. I feel selfish but just bit ready to discuss genders yet x

[EmmyRoo]

How did the scan go retro? It is hard knowing your sister may have a girl but then again those tests aren't 100% by any means so you never know. Conceiving within 6 months of giving birth does sway pink though...maybe you can start preparing yourself now.

How is everyone else doing?

I'm back from my parents, was a nice week despite the funeral, saw a lot of family including my sister who lives in the states, that was lovely as she's not able to come for Christmas this year. I'm getting better with the gender thing I think, a friend had a girl after a boy last week and I didn't even cry! I think my sister having a boy, meaning I'm not the only one in the family with boys, has helped a lot. I think I felt like I was "left out" of the girl-mum club (my sis and mum) and like I was a freak for not following the family trend of having all girls. Hopefully as my nephew gets older and my sister gets to see what boys are like, I'll feel less like the floundering one who needs advice from everyone all the time, and more like the knowledgeable one!

X

[AMY]

Mathilde, I love your LO's name! It's so suave & sophisticated! Gecon, can you share your chosen name with us? It is absolutely wonderful to feel them move around isn't it?! although I didn't appreciate the boot to my side when I was bent over changing the sheets on ds2's toddler bed today!
I think we're fairly settled on the name Isaac and I love the middle name Amias, which means 'loved'. I think I'll have to push that name post-birth when if my fantasy comes true I'll be celebrating giving birth naturally for the first time, DH'll think I'm wonderful & let me go with that middle name! Bahaha!!


Love the name Amias, also written Amyas sometimes. I will keep that in my head! Great choice!