Dreaming Pink Opposites Due Winter 2013/14

[Dreamofpink]

I love Ladybugs and I have been speaking about setting up this thread for us mummies who are welcoming little blue bundles into our families in the winter of 2013/14.
Please feel free to join us and help one another overcome GD and look forward to our newest additions!

[I Love Ladybugs]

I am thrilled to see this Dreamofpink.....and hope that the others whose little men are set to make their arrival this winter join us!!

I had this pounding headache yesterday, horribly sore throat, woke up to stuffy nose.....hate being sick and not able to do much about it. It is warm outside, so my go to ginger, honey mixture sounds wrong, maybe a day or two of good sleep will make me all better!!! So if I sound crazy, tired, sick....I probably am :)

[Dreamofpink]

Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish Ladybugs! It's always worse being ill in the summer. Would an iced version of your drink help?

It's funny because now I know that I have an anterior placenta and was worried that I couldn't feel much, the movement has kicked up a gear! It feels like he's doing an Irish jig on my cervix at times! :rofl:

[I Love Ladybugs]

Dream...I was thinking along that line, but have since decided that lots more sleep sounds the best! The boys and I made banana bread for breakfast and now are going to spend some time in the sun before it gets too hot!! I hope that your day is going well.....

and other girls....where are you???????? This little boy is kicking up his mommy....gotta love the active babies!!! Irish jig....perfect description!!

[Charlee]

Dream did I miss your news??? Its a boy????

I am so thankful for this thread! I've been having a hard time in the dreaming pink dd group since the dream has since died lol!!

[Dreamofpink]

Dream did I miss your news??? Its a boy????

I am so thankful for this thread! I've been having a hard time in the dreaming pink dd group since the dream has since died lol!!

Hey Charlee, great to hear from you. Yes, it's boy number three for us too! Had a dream the night before preparing me, but the shock has still hit hard. I want to celebrate our little boys whilst supporting one another. It'd be fantastic to have you back so we can share our pg's again x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Charlee]

Awwww sorry you didn't hear pink but congrats on a healthy baby!! I know the letdown sucks, but it does get easier with time :)

I can't believe how many opposites we are having in this group!! What the heck is going on here?? lol

[I Love Ladybugs]

Charlee....I figured out one thing about my swaying and the site here, I would have gone into my third and final pregnancy all alone IRL and FB, if it was not for Genderdreaming. You girls have been the best blessing for support that I could wish for, especially when no one IRL other than hubby (and the chic who I have been buying all of her littlest boys clothes).

My pink dream is gone too....and in its place is my hopes for being the best mom to three boys possible. This includes fitness goals, household management priorities, family adventures, cuddling....and the list goes on.

We might look at adoption/fostering when our boys are 10+years old, but that means that I would be looking at 44...sounds too old!!!

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs, that sounds like a fab plan. It is hard trying to force yourself to move on from your dream & I still catch myself on sometimes. I guess we have to fake it until we make it. :)

I know that I would never be getting my fourth child (as long as giving birth doesn't go drastically wrong for me) if ds2 or 3 were girls!! I always dreamed of 4 children and wanted two of each. If ds2 was a girl dh would've point blank refused to have anymore. So ds3 is a bonus baby and if he was a girl that would've been it too. Now dh is coming round to 4 especially when ds1 & 2 are adamant that they get to use their chosen girl names then! Either that or ds3 will be Alice Sophie! They're more disappointed about not being able to use those names than having a brother. We could always take Alice Cooper's lead I guess, hahaha!!!!

Well, I officially have anywhere between 10 - 20 weeks before this LO appears going by my past track record! :eek:

Btw I got a beautiful toddler & baby knits book yesterday and am so excited to crack on & make loads of things for ds3 - so he'd better not be here in 10 weeks time!!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Dreamofpink]

Charlee, does the odds of us actually getting our DD make you break out in a cold sweat? It terrifies me, I must admit :( I know there seems to be quite a few successful sways like Thorz & Mrs P - I'll be avidly following NC BeachyGirl with her sway in the winter. The thought of that one last chance both empowers & scares the sh*te out of me. I think I have to be at peace with being a boy mum first and then focus on giving ds3 a sibling close in age. I'm also definitely buying a plan from Atomic & following it closely as I know I'd just take things too far again. Sigh!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

12479 This is going to be his coming home outfit (the Mom one) and the New Years/Christmas onsie is just shown to give you all an idea of what my little man is going to be partying in!!!

[Dreamofpink]

12479 This is going to be his coming home outfit (the Mom one) and the New Years/Christmas onsie is just shown to give you all an idea of what my little man is going to be partying in!!!

Very very cute!!! Levi's going to be one stylish little boy :D

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

Dream and Charlee....I will be stalking you both for your pink bundles...and hope and wish that this dream will come true for the two of you!!! NCBeachy's up and coming sway is on the radar as well!! I know that we are done and while it saddens me to never get to use pink and purples the way I would like to, I am freeing up myself to just savour the time with my boys and let the dream go.

Dream....Levi is my bonus baby, if DS2 was my girl, we would have never gone for a third, so I need to remind myself that I am being BLESSED by boys!!!

[I Love Ladybugs]

Very very cute!!! Levi's going to be one stylish little boy :D

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2
Thanks Dream!!! He is not going to be just stuffed into the brothers' hand-me-downs!!!! You are going to have to post pics of the items you are busy making for your little man too!!!

[Dreamofpink]

I will do. I can't believe you made those hats, they look amazing! How did you do it?

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

Dream....Thanks!!! If I would have realized how easy hat making was, I would have churned out many for both of my other boys!! I simply cut various t-shirt material into a hat shape, but with a long (penis-ish like) tail to tie into that top knot. I then insided it out, sewed it, turned it right side out and hemmed it. Working against the stretch makes the hem look better, but using the stretch means that hat will fit a little longer and better.

[3boys]

You're so clever ladybugs if I was to make a hat it would not look like yours lol.

Well as you all know I'm here in the opposites group. Sorry to hear you didn't hear girl dream, big hugs Hun.

I have moments when I feel better and then I go back down to depressed and not wanting to face the Internet. Hope I can get over this soon. Might have to do some more shopping lol.

[Dreamofpink]

You're so clever ladybugs if I was to make a hat it would not look like yours lol.

Well as you all know I'm here in the opposites group. Sorry to hear you didn't hear girl dream, big hugs Hun.

I have moments when I feel better and then I go back down to depressed and not wanting to face the Internet. Hope I can get over this soon. Might have to do some more shopping lol.

Thanks 3boys. It's good to see you back. Has everything from your NT scan resolved itself now? Been thinking of you, you've had a rough time of things :hugs:

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[3boys]

Thanks dream. We won't know for sure until the 20 week scan but the midwife and consultant were both pleased with the blood results and when I had my 15 week scan the nuchal fold had shrunk dramatically in size so its looking hopeful.

I wish I didn't feel so down about having four boys. I can't explain it but I now feel worse about my last losses. I was pregnant with a boy due in June and everyone in my family kept saying to me... Things happen for a reason.... Maybe you were destined to have a girl next! At the time I thought they were crazy but I must have subconsciously hoped they were right. If he hadn't of died he would be in my arms right now and my GD would be better. Instead I feel like I'm having a 14 month long pregnancy where the GD is slowly breaking me. I want to be happy I want to want a boy!!

[I Love Ladybugs]

Thanks dream. We won't know for sure until the 20 week scan but the midwife and consultant were both pleased with the blood results and when I had my 15 week scan the nuchal fold had shrunk dramatically in size so its looking hopeful.

I wish I didn't feel so down about having four boys. I can't explain it but I now feel worse about my last losses. I was pregnant with a boy due in June and everyone in my family kept saying to me... Things happen for a reason.... Maybe you were destined to have a girl next! At the time I thought they were crazy but I must have subconsciously hoped they were right. If he hadn't of died he would be in my arms right now and my GD would be better. Instead I feel like I'm having a 14 month long pregnancy where the GD is slowly breaking me. I want to be happy I want to want a boy!!
3boys.....I find it crazy that we both could have been holding babies in June, but our little blue bundles chose to be newborn at Christmas. I feel so much pain for you in the fact that your pregnancies have been fraught with pain and emotion......he better be one cutie who heals your heart! I don't want to wish the next 20 weeks of our lives away, but I sure wish I could send the GD to the bin where it belongs. (((hugs)))

[Dreamofpink]

Just giving this thread a little bump :-)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[EmmyRoo]

Hello ladies!

I am so pleased to find this thread exists! I'd not even looked in the due date forum cos was too scared of another loss to tempt fate, then after our NT scan last week when the sonographer showed us boy bits, I've been too depressed to see other people announcing they're getting their DG to join.

For those who haven't seen me moaning on somewhere else already, I'm Emmy, 36 (lol!), just found out I'm having DS3 due 3rd feb after swaying pink since last August. I had a pregnancy over Christmas that ended in jan when the 12 week scan showed no heartbeat. Heartbreaking, I had to have an ERPC after waiting fruitlessly for 3 weeks for the baby to come out on its own. I have no idea what the gender was and really hoped it meant I "deserved" a girl this time, but seemingly not.

I am so sad to not get my girl, I just don't know where to start getting over this. We can't afford a fourth so this really is it. My sister is due her team green second baby two days before my 20 week scan and I know it'll be her DD2 just as I'm being told I'll definitely never have even one girl. When she had her DD1, my DH told me he didn't want any more kids so her births traditionally mean heartbreak for me. I can't believe it's going to happen again.

I posted in GD that I felt I no longer belonged here cos I can't stand seeing other people's success when I've failed, and atomic suggested an opposites forum, I'm so glad it exists already and I hope we can all use it to help each other see the positives of an all boy family.

X

[Dreamofpink]

A huge hug and welcome to the thread Emmy x x

It's wonderful to have somewhere where we can celebrate our little boys but also mourn our dreams of a little girl. I hope we can help and you are very welcome here x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

Oh Emmy.....We are in the same boat. This little guy is going to be my closing chapter on the baby years and I really had hoped that I would end this portion of it clothing my baby in pink. I tease my hubby that I might just have to indulge the pink/purple desire, but really we both know it goes so much deeper than that. I never thought that I would be a mom to an all boy family.....a daughter was always part of the picture. I wish you did not have to be here...I so wanted all you longtermers and moms that have gone through loss to be given a girl automatically, that you would not have to be challenged with any lingering gender desire. (((((hugs))))

Dream...thanks for the bump!!! I think that having a safe haven for both the good and bad portion of GD is so important. No one IRL can understand or chooses to.

3boys....where are you????? Sending some hugs over to you!!!

Charlee....hope that you are healing on this week off...and that your new little man remains protected. ((((hugs))) onto you too!!!!!

AFM...today is that follow-up scan...only 4 hours away....it is such a beautiful day here, I just want to hear good news and see a cute pic of him. I will keep you all posted on the appt!!!

[MAMAOF3BOYSAND1ONWAY]

Hello boy mamas!!

I am so happy to have found this thread, thanks Emmy for sharing.
I am Katie and expecting my 4th boy in early Dec. I am kind of in denial regarding the gender of this baby. I can't really describe it. I look at the 20 week ultrasound and don't feel confident in the fact that it is a boy, not sure if it is because I so thought a girl was in my future(last babe) or this pregnancy has been different as well. I just wish I could accept and come to terms with it and move forward.
I absolutely love my boys and they bring so much joy to my life, and know this baby will as well.
I love the idea of celebrating our little boys.
I keep thinking I need to start working on the nursery or something, but then think what if it is a girl? Seriously, I can't even stand that I think that.
Thanks for being a sounding board for my craziness.
So glad there are others out there that understand GD.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Back and crying...the right kidney space is just a mess/mass of fluid and the tech called her radiologist and the images stumped him. The last time and this the baby was positioned oddly so while they think the left kidney is fine, we just don't know. I will have the proper follow-up appt next Tuesday at which point I will know when the next u/s. And you don't get to see a single image or pic....

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs, I pm'd you. My heart's breaking for you right now - I want to give you a big hug. I only hope next week's u/s gives you some proper answers and that your LO is strong and can overcome this. x x

[Dreamofpink]

Hello boy mamas!!

I am so happy to have found this thread, thanks Emmy for sharing.
I am Katie and expecting my 4th boy in early Dec. I am kind of in denial regarding the gender of this baby. I can't really describe it. I look at the 20 week ultrasound and don't feel confident in the fact that it is a boy, not sure if it is because I so thought a girl was in my future(last babe) or this pregnancy has been different as well. I just wish I could accept and come to terms with it and move forward.
I absolutely love my boys and they bring so much joy to my life, and know this baby will as well.
I love the idea of celebrating our little boys.
I keep thinking I need to start working on the nursery or something, but then think what if it is a girl? Seriously, I can't even stand that I think that.
Thanks for being a sounding board for my craziness.
So glad there are others out there that understand GD.

Welcome to the thread Katie! I hope that we can offer you some support and understanding here. What the ages of your other three boys?

[EmmyRoo]

Oh no ladybugs, I'm afraid I don't know the history here but that sounds really frightening. I hope the next scan will give you some peace. X

[EmmyRoo]

Hi Katie, glad to see you here. X

[MAMAOF3BOYSAND1ONWAY]

Hugs Ladybugs! I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will be thinking of you! Hopefully, you will get more answers next week.
Dreamingofpink, I have a 6 year old, 4.5 year old, and 2.5 year old. Here is the pic of my 19 week ultrasound.
12737

Emmy, thanks again for sharing this thread with me:)

[Rabbit0809]

Hi ladies,havent been on here in a while now,just wanted to share my excitement with u,am having a 3d/4d elective gender scan in less than 4hours,Im going crazy nervous INSANE LOL, My tummy is churning,I hope baby cooperates and spreads leggies wide open haha
Keep ur fingers crossed with me for pink ladies,I have mentioned in another post in due in dec and jan thread,that I have a strong strong vibe that my wee one is a little boy,Im 85 percent sure, well, I guess Ill know in a couple of hours ;)
Will update as soon as I can , and I posted in this thread,because I just know in my heart.that ill be jumping in and joining u in the pink opposites group xoxo

[meeks32]

Hi ladies,havent been on here in a while now,just wanted to share my excitement with u,am having a 3d/4d elective gender scan in less than 4hours,Im going crazy nervous INSANE LOL, My tummy is churning,I hope baby cooperates and spreads leggies wide open haha
Keep ur fingers crossed with me for pink ladies,I have mentioned in another post in due in dec and jan thread,that I have a strong strong vibe that my wee one is a little boy,Im 85 percent sure, well, I guess Ill know in a couple of hours ;)
Will update as soon as I can , and I posted in this thread,because I just know in my heart.that ill be jumping in and joining u in the pink opposites group xoxo

Your scan must be I half an hour!!! I am totally gate crashing here since I don't know yet (but had a boy looking potty shot recently so will also likely be joining).

Stalking!!! Keep us updated.

Ps ladies this thread is amazing. Trying not to post because I don't know yet for sure, but I'm keeping up with it and loving the support and vibe.

[Waiting4Daisy]

Oh ladybugs, that is heartbreaking. I hope all is fine with you lo's other kidney. Must be very worrying and puts everything else in perspective. Huge hugs hun xxx

[grace03]

hi girls,
loving this thread, I am expecting 4 th son in December confirmed at 16 and 20 weeks. I have been struggling big time I just want to hold him already although I am enjoying feeling kicks for the last time. I am gettmg tubes tied in the c section so I think that has made it worse.. after ds3 I was pretty bad but I still had hope of a 4 th iykwim ..

does anyone have any really good boys names yet?
I have a Jackson Charlie and a Blake and I need an awesome name for this little guy thanks in advance xx

[grace03]

Hugs Ladybugs! I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will be thinking of you! Hopefully, you will get more answers next week.
Dreamingofpink, I have a 6 year old, 4.5 year old, and 2.5 year old. Here is the pic of my 19 week ultrasound.
12737

Emmy, thanks again for sharing this thread with me:)

im really not sure about that shot, I would be getting another scan if I could . I have really clear shots and im still praying they are wrong! maybe get a 3d/4d?
big hugs to you xx

[MAMAOF3BOYSAND1ONWAY]

Rabbit, thinking of you today and hope you hear pink.

Meeks, welcome and hoping pink for you. Are you going to find out? If so, when?

Grace, glad you are on here. I just want the baby boy here already too. The kicks have just started and is making me smile as I love it.
My boys are Talon, Henry, and Charlie. I am having a heard time with names as well. My family has a lot of boys. Wanted something Irish because we conceived on St. Patty's but not sure I love any. There is a thread on here somewhere with tons of boy name ideas. I will try to find it for you:)

[Rabbit0809]

Sorry for the late update ladies,Im rejoicing over this lovely news of mine,Its a GIRL, thank u Lord for answering my prayers,I still cant believe it.
As happy and ecstatic as I am,I wish all of u ladies on this lovely thread could be celebrating pink with me.
Im keeping u all in my prayers,may GD stay far far away.
Luv u all xoxo

[MAMAOF3BOYSAND1ONWAY]

Yay!! I saw this on your other post. Congrats!! What a great day!! Go buy a really cute girl outfit:)

[3boys]

Oh ladybugs I'm so so sorry to hear about your baby's kidney. Sending lots of love and hugs at what must be a terrifying time! Xx

[I Love Ladybugs]

Oh ladybugs I'm so so sorry to hear about your baby's kidney. Sending lots of love and hugs at what must be a terrifying time! Xx

Thanks!! I am just trying to keep occupied and focus on the good. He is active, there is concerns for sure, but it is am matter of taking each day at a time. This long weekend is going to be long....now to keep busy. I decided that each day I will focus on doing one positive thing like working on my boys projects/notes/rooms and keep busy!! Today I am sorting through old photos on the hard drives and organizing them according to timeline. Hopefully I can get enough good ones to print out some at Walmart or Costco!!!

[Charlee]

Keeping busy is so important... nerves will only make you crazy! Take it from someone who is totally crazy right now LOL...

I replied on the other thread but thought I would chime in here too :)

I am feeling so much more optimistic about my new little boy lately... I can't wait to meet him now. I hardly care about gender right now, and it's such a freeing feeling! Sure, I get a twinge every now and then, especially when I hear about people getting their girl, but they aren't me... and I love my little guy. :) I just feel so blessed to still be pregnant and having a baby... ANY BABY! Gotta stay thankful ... that's the key for me!

[I Love Ladybugs]

Hey crazy lady....lol, Charlee....I entirely understand that feeling!! My entire plan for the weekend is spending time focusing on the good and in so doing, hope to avoid the dwelling on what I can't control. I think that I may always wish that I had a daughter as well, but at this point, I choose to move forward with my boys and just savour them when they are tiny.
I must post a few pix of them.....I saw one this am that melted me in every way! It is my DS2 and a "photo" shoot that we did in the summer that he was just over a year old....lol...not professional in every way, but it perfectly captured why I call him my sonshine!!!

12781

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs, ds2 is gorgeous! I can totally understand how he'd make your heart melt just looking at him. You certainly make handsome boys! How did you get on with sorting through your photos? It's a job that's forever on my 'to do' list.

Charlee, have you got any follow-up appointments for you and your baby after the crash? I hope that you are healing well and out of pain now. I love your attitude! I've come round to that feeling now that it's not me getting a girl and it's my girl that I'd like not anyone else's. It is kind of freeing and I am getting excited about meeting ds3 too. I just wish that I could find a name I really love! Have you got any yet?

I think I've worked out why my sway didn't work this time. I'm sure that my feeling of total determination that it WOULD WORK and the feeling that I could control my destiny was no good for my sway. I'm sure that I never let go of that control-freak side of me, where if I work at something hard enough & long enough it'd work. It hit me this afternoon when I realised that I couldn't just casually stroll into the chemists & pick up a repeat prescription of Clomid for my next sway with ease like I thought I could. I do have a few packets left but they expire next October. Considering I don't get my PPAF back until about 8 months after, it's cutting it rather fine.

Instead of obsessing about my next sway, which I admit I have been doing since my bfp, I have decided that the only way forward (& the path to happiness) is to focus on acceptance and thankfulness for what I do have. I am going to try and find peace with the thought of being a boy mum and that dc4 will likely be a boy too. I'd love a sibling close in age for ds3 the way that ds1 & ds2 are, I will sway but I'm going to just do what I can and not try to control every little thing. It does feel freeing to try and practice this peace with what I have and I hope that I can fake it until I make it! Do I sound like a nutter to you all?!! Lol! :wink:

[Dreamofpink]

Oh, I forgot that I wanted to share my bonkers pg dream with you all! Last night, I dreamt that I'd got home from the hospital where I realised that as it'd been 12 hours since the birth, I'd obviously managed a vbac as I was walking no problem. Anyway, the problem was that DS3 wasn't asleep in our wardrobe where I'd put him and I couldn't find him anywhere. I knew that he hadn't been bf at all but also hadn't cried. (disturbing now, when I think about it but he was fine in my dream, just quiet!) I eventually found him in my doll's moses basket on our bed, which was wrapped in a bin bag :omg:

DS1 & DS2 are really into playing with my dolls and in my defense the moses basket is usually kept in the attic in a bin bag with my 28 year old doll inside :) DS1 has been keeping the basket & my doll beside his bed though for the last month! He's determined to be well-practised for when ds3 arrives! Love him...

I just woke up happy that I'd managed a vbac in my dream! DH thinks I'm off my rocker & fully blames me for the nightmares that ds1 has suffered for years as he says he has my over-active imagination. That wasn't a particularly weird dream for me though....:rofl:

DS3 is partying away in my tum at the moment. I love watching it popping away and feeling him move :heart:

[I Love Ladybugs]

Someone here just suggested that he was not getting his snip for 2-3 years..plenty of time for an opps!!!! Lol, I cracked up.....now girls, how does an opps happen?????? I am sort of serious..could I join you all with a fourth?

Dream..I have been organizing photos as my "fun" of the day...the crazy thing is that I was able to show my boys the pix of DS#2 urgent C-section and all you see is peaceful. Of course, their favourite thing was seeing the first pic of his bum!!

Sorry....I should send this message and get my hubby sent to work....lol, then I get my quiet...at least a little of it!!

[grace03]

Someone here just suggested that he was not getting his snip for 2-3 years..plenty of time for an opps!!!! Lol, I cracked up.....now girls, how does an opps happen?????? I am sort of serious..could I join you all with a fourth?

Dream..I have been organizing photos as my "fun" of the day...the crazy thing is that I was able to show my boys the pix of DS#2 urgent C-section and all you see is peaceful. Of course, their favourite thing was seeing the first pic of his bum!!

Sorry....I should send this message and get my hubby sent to work....lol, then I get my quiet...at least a little of it!!

this one was an 'oops' we were discussing the snip as we thought it was too risky rolling the dice with how much I wanted a girl , we were very careful but I must have ovulated late! he must have really wanted to join our crazy family lol :)

[I Love Ladybugs]

this one was an 'oops' we were discussing the snip as we thought it was too risky rolling the dice with how much I wanted a girl , we were very careful but I must have ovulated late! he must have really wanted to join our crazy family lol :)

I know that my hubby would like a daughter as well, but he (and I) both know that 3 boys is going to stretch us....and that it would really be a surprise baby for us!!! Grace03...I have to think that your newest little man really wanted to join and be a fantastic addition to your family!!!!!

Dream..excellent dream of your VBAC!!! Except for how he was in the bin bag....makes sense though especially seeing the moses basket in action. Your DS1 is going to be such an amazing helper....he sounds like such a doll himself!!! My boy was looking through the cloth diapers with me and telling me he could put those on the baby himself....guess I will find out in 4 months time!!

As for sways...I have to believe in my heart of hearts that our precious boys are all meant to enrich our lives despite how good our sways were! This little guy that I have in my belly has been working on teaching me so much already...I am blessed!!!!

[3boys]

Count me in for an oooops. I must be crazy contemplating five. But I don't feel done yet! Talked to DH about it and he agrees. I do worry what people will say about me. But it's not like we don't work and pay for them ourselves so surely its only our business if we want five children.

[grace03]

I'm getting my tubes tied during my section however if I ever won the lottery I would be straight to America and do pgd ivf for a baby girl as I'm only 30 however I'm not willing to try a 5 th time naturally so this is the last oops for me . ( first one was an oops at 20 ! )

[I Love Ladybugs]

We have never had an opps..... always thought that it would be a girl if we did, but I know my sister's two daughters were planned pregnancies...so I doubt that generalization of opps=girl is not true for our family. That is why I had hoped that swaying would work :)
My hubby and I were briefly talking this am about a fourth.....I think that we won't go for it, but he has not ruled it out. It most likely means I would have to come up with another awesome boy's name!!

Grace....I would do the same if $$$ was the option, we had talked about HT once upon a time and it can't be denied that our second son might not have existed if we would have made the journey then. I feel that I am not to choose to spend our current funds towards a HT daughter...but my selfish little heart thinks about it! It would be wonderful if you won the lotto and had your little girl with some of the winnings!!!

3boys....go with your heart....don't feel any judgement from others. Lol, I feel like a hypocrite saying that, because it is fear of what others would say of a fourth that is holding me back, fear of myself/hubby resenting the other if we did have a fourth boy, fear of feeling guilt for not wanting a fourth son, and then I cry. A fourth lad would be a blessing...I can see it for you and Grace that your newest little boys are going to bring love and healing and why would I deny that for myself?

For the moment, I have to believe that our third and final child will make our family complete. I am testing the waters that when I hold my boy for the first time, I will feel wholeness over gender desire. My heart's desire has always been to raise both genders....what does my future hold?

[EmmyRoo]

3boys you should have four if you want, to hell with what people think, it's none of their business! A generation or two ago having four or more was the norm, if you can afford it why not have as many as you like? I think people's comments are more about their own feelings towards large families, but just because they don't want to do that doesn't mean everyone else feels the same.

Unfortunately we can't afford to have more than three, in fact I'm stressing already about how we are going to cope financially with three. I kind of thought we can limit Childcare costs by me being on maternity leave until DS2 starts school next aug, but over and above that I'm just kind of hoping something comes long, a pay rise, promotion, modest lottery win! Lol! It's a bit scary though.

I'm loving the ways you're all working on contentment with your boy families. I had friends over this evening and the subject of the baby's gender came up, of course I admitted to wanting a girl but said its almost definitely another boy. I kind of almost convinced myself that I was ok with it! I can't stand the thought of people feeling sorry for me if they know the truth. I did say something about being one of four girls and how I imagine my boys will just be the male version of that dynamic, and I liked that thought. It's like that photo that went round Facebook of a Mum and her three sons, who recreated a family photo taken when the boys were kids as a present to their dad. The comedy and love on their faces as they all posed in similar clothes, the youngest even being held by his mum in an approximation of how she was holding him as a baby in the original pic, it was clear what fun they were having and what lovely family memories they shared. That's what I try to think of when I imagine my boys, it doesn't HAVE to mean they won't be close to me just because we can't go to spas together. Hell, maybe they'll WANT to go to spas with me! Lol! I'll try and find that pic, that would be a positive image for this thread.

X

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy, how did your friends react? I had the 'oh' when I told some the other week and nothing else! That hurt in itself and I'm dreading seeing them again next week. I really have to work on outward excitement about having another boy even when these people knew how much I wanted a girl.

I think I have boys as I'd still rather climb a big old tree (minus bump of course!) than go to a spa. I've got ants in my pants and would rather turn over rocks at the beach than sit and have my nails painted! I was always told that I should've been a boy and my Dad happily indulged me as he would've loved a son rather than 2 girls. Now he'll have 3 grandsons and he's delighted! What I'm trying to say is that boys fit who I am and who I've always been a lot better than a houseful of girls. It's just that the one huge part that I define myself by - being a Mum - I can't share with them. That's what hurts if I'm totally honest. I can share child-rearing with them, just not child-bearing and all the wonder that goes with it. There are some lovely stories on different threads from women who are very close to their MILs, including Atomic. I think the more boys we have the better the chance that we'll have at that. My mum's only really close to me as my sister is still quite self-contained and lives a good few hours drive away.

Grace, I would love to go HT and think it'd be great if we won the lottery - got to start playing it! I really understand why many do go HT and like you Ladybugs, the selfish part of me would love to save every penny for it. I know that I could only do it if money was no object.

3boys, I've thought of going to 5 as well! If our house sale goes through this time, we'd have the room in our next house. Not sure if my DH would want me committed for the thought though, lol! He stupidly said at our scan just before we found out, "no-more for us!" My silence at that comment said a whole lot more :wink: Seriously though, sod everyone else and their stupid comments. Follow your heart as you don't want to have any regrets when you're older and these people are long forgotten. I guess I'm used to stupid comments with the whole home-ed thing and love that we're in the minority being a family with 2 children as most have 4 or 5. In fact one lady I know of has 3 boys and is now expecting twin boys! Wowsers! That scares me a little I guess, but I'd rather have the extra love that another little boy brings than not at all. Ladybugs, your pic with the quote is something I want to try & live by!

I finally hit the shops today and loved picking out some gorgeous boys clothes in the summer sales. All the summer clothes that I have are in 0-3 months size, which this one will definitely not fit into next summer! I also bought a beautiful Winnie-The-Pooh babygro to take into hospital for him. I have taken pics to share with you, but the battery's died on my camera so I'll have to upload them tomorrow. Yes, I'll admit the girl's clothing did cause a pang or two, but I LOVE dungarees on a little boy and went a bit mad buying 3 pairs in 6-9 months size. I hope it's warm enough next summer for him to get full wear out of them! I am still knitting like mad for him too but haven't finished anything to share with you all yet as I tend to work on a few items at the same time. I will do though.

[grace03]

Big sigh of relief today even though I feel bad about it and wouldn't wish gd on anyone .. A friend of mine is pregnant due same day as me has 3 boys already even our first children have the same first name ( before we met ) anyway I was waiting for her to message me with what she was having for her oops baby as I was too afraid to ask ! She messaged and said she is having a boy how about me ?
I hope she didn't want a girl badly and is having feelings like me ( she doesn't give much away ) but its the one family in the real world that if she had a girl I would struggle to see if you know what I mean ?

Hope you don't mind the double post I posted this in the other thread but I thought it was relevant in this thread for us with all boys xx

[I Love Ladybugs]

Grace03....I am the only one who I know who is having a third boy...the only one who is going to hear the comments about being without a daughter. I get how you feel. There is something about still having the "same" as another that gives a bond....one of my closest IRL friends has just had 2 girls after having 2 boys. I thought that I would have had 1 girl and that our paths would have been similar. (((hugs))) for both you and your friend.

Dream...can't wait to see pix!!!!! We bought a few things for this boy just because, I needed a decent retail therapy session...my hubby has found 2 bags at our share shack and made me sort out the cute stuff for a tiny boy and a few things for a bigger before returning them to the dump. I don't know if that counts...he feels it was :)

Emmy......I have been thinking of you lately.....probably because as much as I would love the gamble for a fourth, three is where my hubby feels stretched with. I believe that I will be giving up my dream of ever a daughter to have what we need as a family. I will get to work part-time and raise my little boys...that is my new dream! The part I am struggling with is how my "friends" respond to new baby boys...they get a single congrats, baby girls are showered with presents, affection and comments for upwards of the first year. That probably is my biggest and bitter pill to swallow....so I will just spit it out and be careful to guard my heart when he is new on the scene!

Being surrounded here by awesome boy moms is making me feel better, stronger and more resolute in celebrating how amazing these boys are!!!!!

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs, my thoughts will be with you tomorrow. I'm hoping that everything will be okay with your little man and you can start looking forward to his arrival. He's a strong little boy and I'm sending lots of love from across the pond x x

[Lastsong]

Hi guys, EmmyRoo suggested I come over here. I had a gender scan on Saturday and was told that I'm having another son. While I'm coming to terms with it, I'm also slightly in denial because I was so certain this was our girl, so I'm hanging out for my anatomy scan in two weeks just for confirmation. This is baby number two for us and DH insists he only wants two, but I'm praying he changes his mind and am looking into HT to get an idea of costs just in case he does.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Lastsong..... ((((hugs)))) My hubby's number of kids was 2-3, mine was 2 or 4....so we always agreed that 2 was the number we would go with. When we found out DS2 was just that at the 19 week u/s, he said that he was good to try again for our daughter the fall of 2012. I know how if feels to lose out the dream......temporarily and now most likely forever. Lots of (((hugs))), but if you are able to sweet talk him into HT, I wish you a OHW for your daughter!!!

AFM...I thank you all for the hugs, support and prayers and will update ASAP after tomorrow's appt.

[Dreamofpink]

Welcome Lastsong, it's so hard when DH refuses to have anymore after ds2. As you can see I did get him to agree to more, but not without a lot of fights. He's happy now though and while he'll never be jumping with joy having more after, I think he knows how important it is to me. I really hope that your DH comes round, give him time and FX you can give your little boys a sister. FWIW, boys really need brothers. I couldn't see that when ds2 was born, but my goodness my two are so close and are best buddies! They look at us in horror if we ever suggest they have their own room, so our spare room is just a dumping room until this LO is born. Well, until we move anyway! I hope that you get to go the HT route and get your DD.

Ladybugs, your news is by far the most important today and I will be thinking of you and your little boy all day. I'm really hoping to hear a good update later on and will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and keep believing the best for this LO. ((hugs)) x x

[Dreamofpink]

Welcome Lastsong, it's so hard when DH refuses to have anymore after ds2. As you can see I did get him to agree to more, but not without a lot of fights. He's happy now though and while he'll never be jumping with joy having more after, I think he knows how important it is to me. I really hope that your DH comes round, give him time and FX you can give your little boys a sister. FWIW, boys really need brothers. I couldn't see that when ds2 was born, but my goodness my two are so close and are best buddies! They look at us in horror if we ever suggest they have their own room, so our spare room is just a dumping room until this LO is born. Well, until we move anyway! I hope that you get to go the HT route and get your DD.

Ladybugs, your news is by far the most important today and I will be thinking of you and your little boy all day. I'm really hoping to hear a good update later on and will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and keep believing the best for this LO. ((hugs)) x x

[Charlee]

Ladybug - Thinking of you and hope you have some news for us! Whatever the outcome, we are here for you. That's what friends are for :)

Dream - I am so incredibly sorry if I upset you with the failed sways comment. Not my intention! I said it because I know you and I are both thinking of rolling the dice one more time... just one more! LOL... DH would keep going until my eggs are dust HAHA... he's a nut! He says " I know what's important, and when we are gone, all the money won't be remembered... our children will be remembered, and us by them..." WOW. He's a smart man sometimes... SHHH... don't tell him I said that! haha

I ping pong back and forth between being terribly upset and being over the moon happy. Thank you hormones. haha .... but in the end, we have all GOT to know these little guys are meant to be. They just are. Is it what we wanted? Maybe not... but there is a bigger picture that we can't see right now. Maybe these little boys will change the world. Maybe we would have spoiled a girl so rotten that we would have regretted having one! Whatever the case, this is the hand we were dealt. I have to CHOOSE to embrace it, some days more than others.

I just love this group :)

[Charlee]

P.S I think I need to stay in this group for a bit... seeing others getting their girls just sends me into hysterics... UGH.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Charlee.....I just love how you and Dream are so choosing to be smitten by your new boys! It has me encouraged in a way like never before to choose joy, to select cheer instead of sad, and to be the best mom I can be because I do have a choice in that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, your hubby is articulating what my heart says to be the most true thing in life....our children are our treasure. :)

Only 2 more hours until the appt.....and I pray that I come back with good news about my little boy!! Thanks for all the loving girls...you can bet I need it when my IRL support is scant!

[Charlee]

I will be checking back all day! I am thinking about you Ladybug and sending every ounce of positive energy your way!

[Charlee]

Welcome to the group Lastsong! Sorry you are here but glad you are! (if that makes any sense whatsoever... ) :)

[Dreamofpink]

Thinking of you Ladybugs, clock-watching here! Will wait up for your good news :fx:

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

One more hour....I am being very patient :)

[Dreamofpink]

One more hour....I am being very patient :)

((Hugs)) Ladybugs x x :)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

I am in shock...and no, not over the kidney issue. I have been told from the Md today that the gender reported is a girl.....

I am still shaking...and feeling like the 18 weeks elective scan could not be wrong, but they must be at the 19 and 21 scan at the hospital one. She (if they are right about gender) has a bulging bladder, a 2mm and 6mm cyst in the right kidney which means it is a write-off, but the left kidney is working and the bladder is doing its job as there is a good level of amniotic fluid.

That is the update for now...in my head, I can't shake off that he could be a she, she could be a he. To be team green sorta???

[meeks32]

I am in shock...and no, not over the kidney issue. I have been told from the Md today that the gender reported is a girl.....

I am still shaking...and feeling like the 18 weeks elective scan could not be wrong, but they must be at the 19 and 21 scan at the hospital one. She (if they are right about gender) has a bulging bladder, a 2mm and 6mm cyst in the right kidney which means it is a write-off, but the left kidney is working and the bladder is doing its job as there is a good level of amniotic fluid.

That is the update for now...in my head, I can't shake off that he could be a she, she could be a he. To be team green sorta???

Just read this. I dont often pop in here but was waiting for an update! So it seems two things, baby should be ok??? And also you are now involuntarily team green???!!!

I am SO relieved your baby seems to be happy in there and everything is safe for now. I know nothing about those issues so I hope I got that right.

I'm glad you have hope for a girl but also feel sorry for you not being able to confirm, hope can be tantalising! For what it's worth, I hope she is your she!!

[Waiting4Daisy]

Ladybugs I think if I was in your position I'd need to have another scan to confirm. Omg this might be your little girl! I hope she is healthy and I hope she is all girl and that other place were rubbish.

[Dreamofpink]

I am in shock...and no, not over the kidney issue. I have been told from the Md today that the gender reported is a girl.....

I am still shaking...and feeling like the 18 weeks elective scan could not be wrong, but they must be at the 19 and 21 scan at the hospital one. She (if they are right about gender) has a bulging bladder, a 2mm and 6mm cyst in the right kidney which means it is a write-off, but the left kidney is working and the bladder is doing its job as there is a good level of amniotic fluid.

That is the update for now...in my head, I can't shake off that he could be a she, she could be a he. To be team green sorta???

Wow! Just wow!! I'm so glad that the one kidney is working, but incredible news about it being a possible girl! You must be all over the place. Did the hospital record the gender then at your 19 & 21 week scans and not tell you?! Amazing stuff! I just hope that the docs can help your LO & give s/he the very best start in life. ((Hugs)) x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

Hi ladies just found this thread, hope u don't mind me joining?!

Ladybugs that's great news all round you must be reeling from it! Will u get the opportunity for another scan?

I am having good and bad days, it's preempting and responding to comments from others that I find difficult and upsetting. Mostly I am fine and have started to look forward to the prospect of DS3, have started to feel him move and the magic and wonder never ceases to amaze me!

[I Love Ladybugs]

I went to phone my mom to tell her of the kidney/bladder news (not telling gender stuff even) and she let me know that my brother has been rushed to the hospital an hour away for a CT scan. He fell onto his back/backside off his crane truck and is in urgent care. I have been bawling over that....I promise I will respond to all the messages soon....I have been praying my heart out for my brother.

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs you've had so much to deal with today. Huge hugs to you. Your brother is in my thoughts & I really hope you get some good news about him soon x x :hugs:

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[I Love Ladybugs]

My eyes are raw right now.....I am still waiting and praying for news of my brother. I love him so much...I might not always be the best sister, but he is important to me...and I know to his wife and kids.

AFM....I was so accepting that he was a he, that to have news otherwise, I don't know what to think. I feel odd being bumped to team green.....especially when I have little to no say in when the next scan is! It will be a fairly serious appt in Vancouver (12 driving hours away) and within the next few weeks I am told by the MD that I saw today. The hospital asks if you want to have gender assessed and is submitted to the radiographer.....but if it is less that 80%-85% certain, they will not include it in the report my MD sees. The u/s tech said 75% at the 19 week and 85% at the 21 week scan, so she is certain that this baby is a she.
All I can say to all you girls is thank-you so much for all the support!

[meeks32]

My eyes are raw right now.....I am still waiting and praying for news of my brother. I love him so much...I might not always be the best sister, but he is important to me...and I know to his wife and kids.

AFM....I was so accepting that he was a he, that to have news otherwise, I don't know what to think. I feel odd being bumped to team green.....especially when I have little to no say in when the next scan is! It will be a fairly serious appt in Vancouver (12 driving hours away) and within the next few weeks I am told by the MD that I saw today. The hospital asks if you want to have gender assessed and is submitted to the radiographer.....but if it is less that 80%-85% certain, they will not include it in the report my MD sees. The u/s tech said 75% at the 19 week and 85% at the 21 week scan, so she is certain that this baby is a she.
All I can say to all you girls is thank-you so much for all the support!

I replied on the other thread, but wanted to say we are all here and waiting and wishing health for your brother. I really hope you get some news soon.

It's good you will go to Vancouver for further tests, just knowing the right person is looking at your case can be so reassuring. I understand the distance is such a challenge though. Well at least they are certain she is a she! Have they given you an action plan for what's next yet? Or just one step at a time, and next step is further investigation in Vancouver? I'm so sorry the he turning into a she has been overshadowed by the baby's health issues and all of it overshadowed by the worry of your brother's health. Life is certainly not always fair.

[I Love Ladybugs]

The time at my friend's house was dearly needed.....the concerns for my brother's life and health are of top concern to me, but it was nice that my baby was important to them to ask/talk about as well. No real update on my brother, but he was airlifted to Vancouver tonight and we will have more to go on in the am. Please keep him in your prayers and thoughts!!

I will be on in the morning to reply...my heart is heavy over my brother and I know that I will need sleep.

[Charlee]

Thinking of you Ladybug!

[2lovelyboys]

Hi ladies, how are you all today? I'm feeling a bit down booooooo! My down days are thankfully becoming fewer and further between!

I have recently been thinking about going for no4 and been reading up on swaying (again!), am thinking its my way of distracting myself from my GD! Like someone already said I think I need to put swaying to one side and get my head around being a boy mum before I contemplate no4, although finding it easier said than done!

I still haven't told many people about the gender, I know they will also be disappointed for me and I'm not ready to deal with that yet, need to practice my happy face!

Sorry to be such a downer but I know you all understand!

[Dreamofpink]

Charlee, you expressed how you feel about being an opp on the longtermers thread perfectly. That's exactly how I feel. This forum has been a big part of my life for a year now & I still feel the pull. But omg it really hurts to see those with hope for pink or already know they're having a girl. I feel such a failure & like there's very little hope for next time. What really stings the most is that I even c*cked it up whilst on Clomid. That's some going! I don't know where it leaves me for next time.

I know my need to control it & get it right was my biggest mistake but I'm hopeless at just throwing caution to the wind. I heard a lady I used to go to toddlers with had her dd after 2 boys this week. I knew she would too. The irony, huh?! If I only relaxed about it all it could've been me. She was convinced she'd be having ds3 too. I feel so stupid. I'm in constant turmoil over wanting to control every aspect of my next sway & knowing it's the worst thing for me to do. I need a genuine oops! 

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2


Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Dreamofpink]

This must be my life's lesson in patience & letting go of trying to.control things. Hmmm, I'm learning the bloody hard way! 

Sorry for the pity party, really feeling down today.

2lb, huge hugs. I feel very alone irl just now and just want this one here so I can shower him with love - although not right now!!

Please don't stay away the support is so valuable on this thread. X x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2


Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

Dreamofpink u brought tears to my eyes, I totally understand how you feel! I'm very emotional 2day! A friend irl due in dec has found out she is expecting a girl, it hit me harder than I expected it to!
Don't feel a failure about your sway esp not with the clomid, I also took it (CD3-7 50mg), I think I would include it again(desperation now talking!) So i also did something drastically wrong! Arrrrgggghhhhh it's horrible feeling like this!

I feel my boy tendencies of control kicking in now 2, already thinking and planning another sway (CRAZY), it's all about the control! Maybe if I research it all now with DS3 on board I can relax with the info in front of me later? But saying that I wonder if I should take a step back and think of this little one more and concentrate on my family of 3 boys!

[I Love Ladybugs]

I don't have a lot more on my brother...the newest news gives hope that he will heal and walk...but I think that it will be long road ahead.

I don't want to intrude in on this space as I know (for the last 4 weeks) how it feels to have any comments of the opposite gender mentioned when you are most vulnerable and needing the support of moms in the same position as you. I have valued your love and support and think the world of my fellow mums!!!

Lots of (((hugs))))!!!!!

[black&gold]

Hey Ladies,
Just coming by to say Hi and see how everyone is doing! We had planned on waiting until Dec. to find out the gender but I'm starting to second guess if it's a good idea or not. I'm pretty much banking on a boy (my sway pretty much was no-existent the month I got my BFP, as the 4 months I swayed I went from being super fertile to losing O and booking an appt. with the fertility doc. I finally realized it wasn't worth it and I had to drop the diet. A month after dropping and eating healthy again I got my BFP - so lets be honest.. totally a boy!) It's been hard seeing the recent girl ultrasound updates and has made me realize that I may want to step away from this site. I feel like it's almost making things worse! I'm so alone in real life being the only person with all boys and it annoying enough already - then having to see people in the same situation as you get their girl makes you feel more alone again! I just wanted to say I fully feel the way you both are and want you to know you aren't alone! One of my biggest annoyances with all this is that I've never once been able to enjoy a pregnancy due to the looming gender factor and knowing how no one will be happy if I have a boy. If it weren't for the negative comments and peoples reactions I would be so happy with a family of all boys. I just hate the pressure that your family isn't perfect and people pity you (when I do love my life with my boys!) It all totally sucks. Anyways... thinking of you ladies! xo

[MAMAOF3BOYSAND1ONWAY]

Msblakely (and boy mamas),

Your previous post totally hits home. I just found out I am pregnant with 4th boy(last babe) a few weeks ago. It is so hard reading all the pink posts, but I am also truly happy for those who get to experience both genders and get their girl. I sometime feel as I am in denial and this babe is a girl. I do feel like I have let down family, which is very difficult. I think they however are more sad for me because they think a girl is what I really wanted(of course, yes). They just want me to be happy.
I have been racking my brain as to reasons why I was given all boys and not 1 girl...I do believe there is a reason. I thought about if I were to choose only 1 gender it would have been boys over girls. I absolutely am in love with my boys and think it is kind of unique and cool to be a mom of so many little men. Hopefully, my boys will be best friends and mama's boys for life. It is a hard pill to swallow, but I have to believe that these boys choose me and a girl did not. Maybe a girl would have thrown my family off?
We are an amazing group of women who are going to raise amazing men! I pray that I get some great daughter in laws one day and tons of granddaughters:)
Thinking of all you mamas and may we all find happiness and acceptance with what we are given(one day:)).

[Charlee]

Dream - I replied to you on the long termers thread :)

[Charlee]

MS BLAKELY - You said it perfectly! I feel like the only moments of "failure" come from others, not myself! Isn't that strange?? I have said repeatedly that I wish no one IRL knew I wanted a girl this time... maybe this pregnancy would have felt different. But EVERYONE knew I wanted a girl, so when I announced I was having another boy, everyone gave me condolences instead of congrats! I was thinking "what the ***k?" I am thrilled at having a HEALTHY BABY... there was a time when I wasn't sure that would ever happen for me.

[2lovelyboys]

I have woken in a good frame of mind 2day, I started back at my moderate exercise this week, went to the gym last night and feel much better 2day.

I do agree its other people's reactions that sting the most, your own GD is hard enough never mind dealing with everyone else! Very few people know gender of this little one, we will tell everyone after our 20 week scan on the 27th, it has/ is allowing me to come to terms with things before we tell everyone else!

[black&gold]

MS BLAKELY - You said it perfectly! I feel like the only moments of "failure" come from others, not myself! Isn't that strange?? I have said repeatedly that I wish no one IRL knew I wanted a girl this time... maybe this pregnancy would have felt different. But EVERYONE knew I wanted a girl, so when I announced I was having another boy, everyone gave me condolences instead of congrats! I was thinking "what the ***k?" I am thrilled at having a HEALTHY BABY... there was a time when I wasn't sure that would ever happen for me.

I've tried to watch what I say in the past by making it seem like from DS1 that I always wanted boys. However, there are people that know how girly I am so they have to assume I have some want for a daughter. I obviously do just to experience each gender (I'd want a boy if we had 2 girls!) but the main thing is peoples reactions and comments!!! How STUPID are people to say such a thing to you instead of giving a HUGE congrats, because all children are a blessing and if you're lucky enough to be able to have 3 healthy kids you are so beyond blessed!! Gender is the last thing that people should point out but for some reason it's always the first! A friend of mine just had a girl after 1 boy and I couldn't believe the comments on her instagram pics - seriously, sickening! "Having a girl is like being trusted with the most valuable jewel ever" - actually no, being trusted with ANY child is that! "You got your girl" "Girls are the best" "You are going to have so much fun dressing a girl, they are amazing" blah blah blah. Anyways.. there's my vent for the day.. just had to get that out LOL!

[Dreamofpink]

I've tried to watch what I say in the past by making it seem like from DS1 that I always wanted boys. However, there are people that know how girly I am so they have to assume I have some want for a daughter. I obviously do just to experience each gender (I'd want a boy if we had 2 girls!) but the main thing is peoples reactions and comments!!! How STUPID are people to say such a thing to you instead of giving a HUGE congrats, because all children are a blessing and if you're lucky enough to be able to have 3 healthy kids you are so beyond blessed!! Gender is the last thing that people should point out but for some reason it's always the first! A friend of mine just had a girl after 1 boy and I couldn't believe the comments on her instagram pics - seriously, sickening! "Having a girl is like being trusted with the most valuable jewel ever" - actually no, being trusted with ANY child is that! "You got your girl" "Girls are the best" "You are going to have so much fun dressing a girl, they are amazing" blah blah blah. Anyways.. there's my vent for the day.. just had to get that out LOL!

Urgh people like that have A LOT to learn in life & will no doubt be back again if they don't lol!! :D

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

MSBlakley, why do people write such stupid comments?! I agree that being able to conceive, carry to term and give birth to any happy healthy baby is a blessing not just if its a girl, flipping rude!!!!

[EmmyRoo]

Hi all,
Sorry I've been a bit AWOL over the last few days, we're at my parents', en route to Krakow (DH and I are having a few days away, booked a few months ago when we really needed something nice to look forward to around the time our angel was due (18th Aug)) so I've not been able to check in much.

Ladybugs I am so sorry to hear of your brother's accident, I am fervently hoping he is ok, what a terrible worry for your family. Also your wee one's kidney, I'm glad that the left one is functioning normally though, will they be able to save the right after the birth? What a shocker about the gender though?! I totally get how you must be reeling and not knowing what to think! That is the dream we all share though isn't it, to be told they made a mistake and we ARE getting our DD after all! I do hope this is the dream come true for you, although it must be taking a back seat to your stress over your brother just now. :hugs:

I've faced my first negative gender comment, and I think I responded admirably! My 90year old grandmother, who says whatever she wants to and doesn't care how it affects people, said "oh I DO hope this one is a girl", to which I replied "we'll I'd love that but we had a look at the scan and its looking very much like a boy" and I didn't choke up or anything! :bigsmile: Later she sighed (watching my two boys happily playing on her lawn) and sadly said "I hope it is a girl, three boys, oh dear" and I had to say "if he's like those two he'll be lovely!" And I really meant it! I expect these comments from her, she's always been acid-tongued, but it really beggars belief what people think is an acceptable thing to say! It's like you've all been saying, why on EARTH would anyone think anything other than joyful thoughts at a baby being confirmed as healthy??! I had a checkup on Tuesday and we got the blood results, my Down's risk is 1 in 23006 or something like that, so I am very relieved. Still worry that someone has to be that one though.... But all the tests were good, and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat, which was lovely, especially for DS1+2. It was very train-like though, there is NO chance I'm doing a Ladybugs/Thorz and having a last minute sex-change baby! :rofl:

Welcome to the newbies, I have to say I feel so much better and more positive just being a part of this thread, it's helping me so much, especially to be able to stay a part of such a lovely community of ladies. I felt so like you MrsBlakey (I think it was you?) feeling that you don't want to be here anymore, seeing others get their girl all the time. This thread is a lifesaver!

I'll try and check in while I'm away but we may be doing some serious sight-seeing and not get much chance! I'll be back next week though, hope everyone has a good weekend.

X

[Charlee]

Emmy so good to "see" you! I was wondering about you and hoping all is well :)

FWIW, my dad said the SAME exact thing to me when we saw a penis at my NT scan (I didn't even know that was possible!) ... he said "I'm sorry honey" and never even told me congrats on baby being healthy! I was shocked! But he didn't mean it that way, he was acknowledging my GD... Others don't even realize how it feels to us. They are stating the obvious, and that's fine if you don't have GD... but if you do, it's like pouring salt in the wound.

My GD is at bay today, thank god for days like this! Gives my poor heart a day to heal LOL

[Charlee]

P.S I can't wait to hold a newborn!!!! Oh my goodness, I am so excited to meet this baby!!!

[GeCon]

Do you have room for one more in here? :hide:

[Dreamofpink]

Of course we do!! But are you totally sure on that scan? My first thought was a little girl. I'm no expert though. Big hugs to you regardless x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

GeCon, how you feeling? Please don't stay away, it is I easy to do! It does help to talk things through, rant about your feelings if needed, we r all here for you and understand how you feel! Give yourself time, it's not selfish to grieve for a dream, we all spent months and months planning and swaying towards a certain outcome it hurts to be told otherwise!

Check google for boy potty shots then look at the ones on Ingender, they have loads!

DH has just informed me that a friend due with fraternal twins in Dec (has a 3 yr old DS) is expecting 2 girls! Boooooooo! The news did hit me where it hurts but the ache seems to be less, can only be a good thing?????

I don't understand what is happening with us ladies..............

[Charlee]

2LB - I know! We aren't even hitting the 50/50 mark as you would expect from anyone anywhere conceiving a baby... we are WAY over the blue mark here. I am going to pm Atomic and see what she thinks...

In the meantime we are going to give birth to some handsome young men :)

[2lovelyboys]

Charlee, that sounds like a great idea, let me know her thoughts I'd be really interested to hear! Our results are very crazy!

I'm starting to look forward to 3 little boys, hope they will be the best of friends and a great support for each other! Are you still thinking about a no4??

Keep thinking of my friend with the twins, I seem to be the only one cracking out the boys! I know my friend had been on a diet for a while and steadily losing weight (join the club) but how did she manage 2 girls???? Boooooooooo!

[2lovelyboys]

GeCcon I know your lurking, hope your alright :hugs:

[Dreamofpink]

2LB - I know! We aren't even hitting the 50/50 mark as you would expect from anyone anywhere conceiving a baby... we are WAY over the blue mark here. I am going to pm Atomic and see what she thinks...

In the meantime we are going to give birth to some handsome young men :)

I think though if you put us in with the Nov dd thread it would be as expected then :) They have an abnormally high amount of pink successes from what I can see. I haven't done the actual figures though x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Dreamofpink]

Btw, you can give birth to a handsome young man, I'll stick to a cute little baby boy. Lol!!! :rofl:

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Charlee]

Btw, you can give birth to a handsome young man, I'll stick to a cute little baby boy. Lol!!! :rofl:

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

AHAHAHAHAHA!

[Charlee]

I guess you're right about the overall stats adding in Nov, but I am going to blame the magical little particles from the moon for all the opposites. You and I O'vd right around the full moon... damn you full moon! haha

[2lovelyboys]

I think though if you put us in with the Nov dd thread it would be as expected then :) They have an abnormally high amount of pink successes from what I can see. I haven't done the actual figures though x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2


How did they manage that?

I'm with u on the cute baby rather than a man hee hee :)

[Charlee]

GeCcon I know your lurking, hope your alright :hugs:

She will be okay, just like we are all okay :) Is it disappointing at first?? SURE! But in the end we all have each other to vent, and in the end we are all massively successful because we aren't still TTC! I know this last 9 months of TTC almost did me in... I am just happy to be having ANY BABY AT ALL!

[2lovelyboys]

Do you think there is anything in the moon phases? Some people swear by them. How does it work? What dates do you put in?

[Charlee]

Re the moon phase thing: I don't know if it's really genuine, but I do know I O'd right ON the full moon this time and Dream did about 2-3 days before if I remember correctly.... many people swear by it, it's called Lunaception. Atomic thinks it's b.s but I guess who really knows for sure?

You have to know the exact day you O'd to know the moon phase for that day... there are moon phase calculators online to help. I guess it couldn't hurt but if you naturally O on a full moon then you would have to totally change your cycle ... that's difficult!

[Dreamofpink]

Re the moon phase thing: I don't know if it's really genuine, but I do know I O'd right ON the full moon this time and Dream did about 2-3 days before if I remember correctly.... many people swear by it, it's called Lunaception. Atomic thinks it's b.s but I guess who really knows for sure?

You have to know the exact day you O'd to know the moon phase for that day... there are moon phase calculators online to help. I guess it couldn't hurt but if you naturally O on a full moon then you would have to totally change your cycle ... that's difficult!

I now have no idea when I ov'd as my opk & prog test suggested cd20 but my dating scan & LMP suggests cd14!! Argh!

Let's just blame it on the sun beginning to flip it's polarity, lol!

For me I am sure it was down to control more than anything. Now I feel this is just the way it should be for me. Doesn't help that I was told I'd have a boy next then a little girl very soon after by a medium/tarot card reader last year.

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[oxox2013]

Hello ladies, I hope you all dont mind if I join you. Just found out yesterday that I am team blue again and I am not handling it well. I just feel so heartbroken. Being at work today is so much harder than I thought it would be. I keep getting the fun little comments about how sorry they all are. I dont want sorry. I just want my baby girl! I posted on my sway thread so I will try not to repeat myself, I just have no idea where to turn or what to do. How do I make myself get over this?? I have cute boys. I know I will love him. But why couldnt he be a she?? I started to get excited at the scan. I wasnt seeing anything between the legs then BAM. There is was. I just immediately felt numb. I know I am probably being overly dramatic, I just dont know how to make myself happy with what I have been given.

[GeCon]

I am okay, ladies. Trying to sort out that video, so I can upload it.

[Charlee]

Welcome oxox... sorry you have to be here but glad to see you! :)

The first couple of days are the hardest... the GD was overwhelming for me. I put on a brave face in public, and then when I went home I cried my eyes out LOL... But now that I've known for almost 2 months I am happy (most) days. I still have some hard days and always will I'm sure... but I am here to tell you the GD will get easier.

:hugs:

[mindyjean]

Hi ladies, my name is Mindy and we swayed hard for a girl but found out we are having Boy #3. Reading your posts makes me feel better, but it's hard to know how I will ever get over not having a girl.

For me, I really tend to rely on other people's words of affirmation to feel good about myself, so of course, when people have reacted negatively, I just feel like I can't handle it. I had all these dreams about announcing on facebook, family outfits we could do for pictures, painting the room pink, that when I had to face reality, there were times that I almost felt like I couldn't breathe because I was so sad. And then the guilt would set in--we are having a beautiful healthy boy when there are people out there who can't have ANY kids, or have kids with disabilities, or lose their children when they're stillborn. And here I am feeling ungrateful for the gift I've been given? I just feel like an awful person.

Last week, I had a cousin who purposely came over to talk to me at the family wedding we were all at, and she said "I just wanted you to know how EXCITED and thrilled I was for you when I found out you were having a third boy. You make the most beautiful boys and I am SO excited for you. I already went shopping and bought him clothes..." and continued on with her excitement. I was literally brought back to life, because FINALLY here is someone who is excited for the life I'm bringing into the world.

I also had a friend last night who has 2 boys, age 3 and 7 months, and she said she wants to be just like me and have a 3rd boy. Which I never thought I would hear!

So through the very dark days, I feel like there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I am SO excited to have a newborn again, and I truly love being pregnant, so this time of life is very special. Just trying to not let the cloud of GD ruin everything.

I did mention this in another thread, but the prospect of HT keeps me going most days. I know that is a LONG road, but am willing to do pretty much anything at this point.

I look forward to getting to know you all, supporting you with your GD, and seeing pictures of all our little guys born soon!

[grace03]

Hello ladies, I hope you all dont mind if I join you. Just found out yesterday that I am team blue again and I am not handling it well. I just feel so heartbroken. Being at work today is so much harder than I thought it would be. I keep getting the fun little comments about how sorry they all are. I dont want sorry. I just want my baby girl! I posted on my sway thread so I will try not to repeat myself, I just have no idea where to turn or what to do. How do I make myself get over this?? I have cute boys. I know I will love him. But why couldnt he be a she?? I started to get excited at the scan. I wasnt seeing anything between the legs then BAM. There is was. I just immediately felt numb. I know I am probably being overly dramatic, I just dont know how to make myself happy with what I have been given.
I'm sorry you didn't hear girl it definitely takes a while to feel better I found out on June 27 th about my fourth boy at my 16 week scan and still have bad days but they are getting further apart so I hope you can let yourself get all your grief ( over a daughter you thought u would have ) and start feeling better soon xx

[Charlee]

Welcome Mindy Jean :) You got your bfp the month before me and I remember being so envious that you had succeeded! LOL... I know the GD is hard.. from what I've heard from others, #3 seems to hit most like a ton of bricks. It's like 2 could be an accident, but once you have 3 of the same gender a pattern develops!

FWIW, I AM EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! A newborn of any gender is so amazing... I know what you mean about the comments from others though. The only time I get really down is when someone else says something to me about it that I view as negative. I know in my heart that if this baby had been a girl I would have gotten drastically different reactions from everyone. How sad is that?? I have to wonder if anyone will even throw me a baby shower now because I'm having a boy, but I KNOW they would have if it had been a girl. The sad part is I actually need to have one because I have ZERO baby stuff anymore. My kids are both in school now! It's been 6 years since we had a baby around.

I am so glad you decided to join our group :) The support we give (and get) is amazing!

[2lovelyboys]

Welcome oxox, mindy and Grace!

I'm looking forward to another baby in this house, looking forward to my little bundle all curdled up on my chest for cuddles. People keep saying their is something special about all boys and they have a special bond, hope that's how mine will be!

Mindy, sounds like you have had a opulent of nice comments! Very few people know gender of this little one, dreading telling people, I have put it off until I know that I am 100% and can handle the comments.

I think I am improving and getting my head round things then I spend all night dreaming about the whole thing, clearly still have big issues!

[zebaniee]

Guys it looks like I am joining you too. I swayed for a boy and am having another girl. This will be my third girl. I am beyond devastated, I even started researching termination ( ungrateful I know) I am sure I will feel better about it tomorrow but right now I feel overwhelming mourning for my son who is not meant to be. I was so sure I had an amazing sway. I feel a little bit of joy of the pregnancy has gone. I,hope I haven't brought the thread down. Tomorrow is another day. I was thinking that I should go shopping tomorrow for something for the new baby which might help me get excited and promote acceptance. But right now I just want to cry.

[Dreamofpink]

Guys it looks like I am joining you too. I swayed for a boy and am having another girl. This will be my third girl. I am beyond devastated, I even started researching termination ( ungrateful I know) I am sure I will feel better about it tomorrow but right now I feel overwhelming mourning for my son who is not meant to be. I was so sure I had an amazing sway. I feel a little bit of joy of the pregnancy has gone. I,hope I haven't brought the thread down. Tomorrow is another day. I was thinking that I should go shopping tomorrow for something for the new baby which might help me get excited and promote acceptance. But right now I just want to cry.

Oh Zebaniee I'm so sorry that you didn't get to hear boy at your scan. 3 of a kind really stings as you can't help but think that's you set for one gender now. Will you try again? You're more than welcome to join us here, it's so hard not getting the dg that you crave but we totally understand. I'm sure your dd will be extra special, she certainly is to get through your sway :) Take your time though & be kind to yourself x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Dreamofpink]

Btw Zeb shopping is a really good way to get excited about your baby, but don't worry if you don't feel like doing it immediately. I've only just gone shopping this weekend past, 2 weeks after finding out. :)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Shakti]

Can I join you guys as well? I found out a week and a half ago that we're having a boy. I thought about swaying, but as this was our first child, I decided it would be better to establish that we're fertile before trying swaying. We conceived in 1 cycle, so obviously fertility is no problem. Now, I'm really kicking myself. A girl means everything to me, and I had no idea I thought it would be this hard not having one. And I know that this is only our first child, but my husband wants 2, I said 3, but to be honest my main motivation for going for 3 is so that we'd increase our chances of ever having a girl, I could easily be happy with 2 if our 2nd is a girl. We're both in our 30s, so going over 3 really isn't doable. And now the idea of never having a girl is really slapping me in the face.

I also wonder why the universe would punish me like this. My father molested me, my brother was also an ass, I was used a lot by men in my 20s, and raped by a few more.

My husband was the first man I've ever been able to trust, we've been together for 2 years and have a beautiful relationship, I feel closer to him than I've felt with anyone in my life, friend or lover.

Still though, that's one man out of a few billion, and raising a boy is just too triggering for me the more I think about it. I know I'll probably hear "get professional help" a lot, so before anyone says that, first off, I have been to more therapists in my life than I have fingers and toes to count them on. I now practice meditation, which is helping the wounds to heal, but it still takes time. Quick fixes don't exist. And second, I moved to Holland 2 years ago to be with my husband and am still learning Dutch, so my options for therapists who can follow my English while I'm talking about some very sensitive issues are extremely limited. That, and it takes money to raise a child, so we don't have money to waste on therapists who may or may not work.

I keep hearing that boys become what you raise them to be, blah blah blah, but there's so much peer pressure out there to be a real man, be a player be a winner, etc.

Not just that, but the main reason I wanted a daughter wasn't for superficial things like pretty dresses, but rather so that I could take the life experiences I had and send a woman into the world confident and happy. That's only fair after the drama I've endured for over 30 years, and being shunned by my family because I told the truth about my father.

Now, I feel like I don't deserve to be a mother. I haven't been able to stop crying for the last week and a half. And I really hope I don't end up living in a boy's club a few years from now when we're done having children.

[oxox2013]

Wow Mindy, I really needed to read that so thank you! I am trying to get along... and thanks everyone else for the warm welcomes! I am still new here so hopefully I wont drag you guys down with my sadness. I really believed we had a girl on board. Anyway I am sorry to see that there have been so many new members added just since I posted yesterday! So crazy that there are so many people in the world feeling just as down about having a certain gender. It has already been so helpful to be able to talk about my guilt and sadness over my feelings and hopefully I will come around sooner rather than later. Funny thing is this baby has become so much more active since we learned he was a boy. Maybe his way of telling me "Hey I am here and I am not going anywhere!" Little stinker is trying to work his magic on me already.

[Mathilde]

Guys it looks like I am joining you too. I swayed for a boy and am having another girl. This will be my third girl. I am beyond devastated, I even started researching termination ( ungrateful I know) I am sure I will feel better about it tomorrow but right now I feel overwhelming mourning for my son who is not meant to be. I was so sure I had an amazing sway. I feel a little bit of joy of the pregnancy has gone. I,hope I haven't brought the thread down. Tomorrow is another day. I was thinking that I should go shopping tomorrow for something for the new baby which might help me get excited and promote acceptance. But right now I just want to cry.

In an alternative world we could swap, on a less extreme note, had we lived closer we could go shopping for each other:) I think I would be the worlds best little girl dresser;) have spent too many years looking at other people's girls clothes and hair imagining what I would dress her in if she was mine, LOL. I'm tragic aren't I? I hope for all of us it gets easier, must be strange here on this forum where the majority of us are girl-hungry, when you yourself are boy-hungry, a little like being a plant eater among a large pack of hungry lionesses:)

[mindyjean]

Charlee, I remember you TTC same time as me! No need to be envious since it turned out to be a failed sway anyways, huh? :)

Shakti, I am sorry for all of your rotten experiences with men. Maybe look at this as a way of raising a sweet, confident and trustworth little man, nothing like the others you've had in your life. I hope your DH will help you with that, too. I will be honest and say I get along with women better than men in general, and I think of that when I think of a life with no daughter. Will my boys ever talk to me when they're adult? Will they call me? Will their wives like me or turn them against me? It's all of those "what ifs."

Does anyone else feel really silly for swaying? I truly feel like I got my hopes up when swaying for this baby, and we were both so sure it would work. I mean it just made sense that since I was so healthy when I conceived my first 2 boys and then when I did everything completely different this time around, we were just like, heck yeah this is going to work. We both just felt gutted when it didn't. I almost wish I wouldn't have swayed at all because maybe the girlie sperm would have made it first, anyways.

I also think of all the women throughout all of history that have felt this way but didn't have any support. I am grateful for all of you being honest and sharing your thoughts so I don't feel so alone and crazy and silly. :)

[zebaniee]

Dream, thank you for your kind words. I always said I didn't want more than 2 children so 3 was already a stretch for me. I guess I'll see how I feel after the birth of this one :)

Mathilde, I know what you mean about swapping! I have a friend who has just had her third boy and has said the same thing :) I guess the shopping thing is hard for me too because I am not really a girly girl and like practical things but now I am surrounded by glitter, tampons and pms (well in a couple of years) so I am very envious of the ladies with sons!

I guess what threw me the most is that I thought I had convinced myself that I was ok with either gender but after this scan I realised I wasn't.

My girls have an amazing relationship with their father and I always wanted that type of relationship with my son. My daughters just expect me to feed them basically, little brats ha ha.

Well I still feel sad this morning. I have already had two crys and been waking up most of the night thinking about it. I think I am starting to come to terms with it though as I want to move all the kids into one room and I want it painted...immediately. Frigging pregnancy hormones. I sound like a crazy person!

[Shakti]

Thanks. :-) Yeah, honesty is often the best way to go in these things. I find that suppressing the feelings or denying them makes them come out so much worse.

I'm still trying to make sense of why we got a boy. The "what-ifs" drive me insane. I don't think that you can make any child be anything, and my husband is in the minority of good men and might not be our son's most important male role model. I've seen so much more of the dark side of men than the good side to the point where raising one is overwhelming.

That, and as we probably only have one more shot at a child, there's a 50% chance that my dream of having a daughter, who I could give the power I never had, is dead. I don't know what's driving me more insane, that or the what-ifs.

I haven't swayed yet but we do plan on swaying for our 2nd. I'm already scared of if it doesn't work. :-(


Charlee, I remember you TTC same time as me! No need to be envious since it turned out to be a failed sway anyways, huh? :)

Shakti, I am sorry for all of your rotten experiences with men. Maybe look at this as a way of raising a sweet, confident and trustworth little man, nothing like the others you've had in your life. I hope your DH will help you with that, too. I will be honest and say I get along with women better than men in general, and I think of that when I think of a life with no daughter. Will my boys ever talk to me when they're adult? Will they call me? Will their wives like me or turn them against me? It's all of those "what ifs."

Does anyone else feel really silly for swaying? I truly feel like I got my hopes up when swaying for this baby, and we were both so sure it would work. I mean it just made sense that since I was so healthy when I conceived my first 2 boys and then when I did everything completely different this time around, we were just like, heck yeah this is going to work. We both just felt gutted when it didn't. I almost wish I wouldn't have swayed at all because maybe the girlie sperm would have made it first, anyways.

I also think of all the women throughout all of history that have felt this way but didn't have any support. I am grateful for all of you being honest and sharing your thoughts so I don't feel so alone and crazy and silly. :)

[zebaniee]

Mindy, I think you have hit my issue on the head. I worked so hard at my sway, eating and drinking so many weird and wonderful things, put on weight because of the juice...but for what? I was so sure the sway has worked, there was no way I would get the opposite gender. I think that is what hurts the most and possibly one of the reasons I feel so bad.

[2lovelyboys]

This swaying and gender roller coaster is crazy! It unleashes some horrible emotions and thoughts that you didn't think possible!

I keep saying I'm alright with DS3 and i am coming to terms with it but then I spend hours (honestly hours!) searching for potty shots that look like mine, I also find myself dreaming about friends that have just been told girl etc I suppose it's just the start of the road to overcoming GD!

I'm wondering if my sway kinda worked, I know i am pregnant with an opposite but I feel different to when I did with my boys, certainly calmer and a few other things so I'm wondering if my sway started to lower levels but just not enough! Hmmmmmm

[Mathilde]

2lovely: I'm right there with you on all you wrote;)
Afm, went shopping and was in a stinking mood, mentally really rotten, bought a yellow and white striped body and a beautiful jump suit(which I believe was for girls..) but it was white so I bought it anyway;) DH trying his best to be really supportive, but I was being a right bit*.. Pushing him away and disagreeing on most things.. Everyone had beautiful daughters and I felt like shi*..
I don't want to ruin my marriage and life but this is so getting to me...

[2lovelyboys]

Mathilde it really can be torture! I think we can be our own worst enemies, no one can make us feel bad, i think we feel bad if we let them get to us! I know I'm terrible for this that's why no one know gender of this little one yet, wanna get my own head round things first b4 comments arise and I get hurt (again)! Saw your little outfits on the other thread, love them :) so sweet!

I know I have needlessly been torturing myself, spent hours scouring the net for 16 week potty shots like mine and as you would expect none do! I also started to question the techs judgement, there are a lot of lines on my potty shot and if the nub/willy wasn't so long I may be inclined to have hope of another outcome, why do we do it to ourselves???!!

[Lastsong]

Hi guys, haven't been in for a while, preparations for my little man's birthday party have been taking up much of my time.

I've finally come to terms with having another boy - I think the beautiful movement that I've started feeling has really helped that, I can't wait to have another newborn. Can't believe it's been over a week since I found out. DH still doesn't know (I had the gender scan in secret which I'm so glad I did because at least he doesn't have to see me at the worst of the GD, I couldn't stop crying the day I found out). He's getting excited about "finally finding out" next Wednesday at my morph scan.

Like many of you, I can't stop thinking about ways my sway failed. I think I was just too much of a control freak with the temping and OPKs - though I'd love to blame the full moon that I ovulated on as well! So if I get a next time, I won't be doing that, I'll just be taking each step as it comes. DH told me yesterday that he hasn't actually ruled out a third baby even though he's always been adamant that two is the limit, so there's a glimmer of hope for a girl in the future. I'm considering doing all the reading into another sway while pregnant to lower the stress levels next time.

2lovelyboys, I'm doing the same thing but the worst bit is that I didn't get my potty shot because I had a choice of two pictures and I was so devastated that I didn't want the reminder. So I'm going by memory. It's probably a good thing I don't have the picture, I'd be driving myself insane.

[2lovelyboys]

Last song, I'm also reading up in preparation for a potential sway, when would you be swaying if you decided to get back on this crazy train? I notice your boys will be close in age like mine. I wonder sometimes if I'm being selfish thinking about another sway, should I just leave it or Nwobhm and concentrate on this little one .......hmmmmm! Like you tho I think if I get the preparation in now then there would be less need for stress and control later .....

[Lastsong]

Oh yes, mine will be a month closer than yours. I don't think I'd start swaying again until end of 2014/start of 2015 but I just think it'd be better for the sway if I'm not stressing over it. I feel a little guilty thinking about the future so soon too but I don't want a big gap between any of my kids.

[Dreamofpink]

Hi Lastsong,
Hope your little boy's birthday went well! I'm glad that you've come to terms with your second little boy. Brother's are amazing and I'm so glad that I gave ds1 such a fantastic playmate in ds2 even though I struggled with GD when he was born & ever since. I'm planning my next sway too but as I'm hoping for a vba2c I'm just praying that nothing drastic goes wrong preventing me from conceiving in the future. I'm stuck between a rock & hard place as if I have another c-section it really limits me, whereas with a vba2c there is a tiny risk of uterine rupture around 0.9% but that's not the figure for drastic total ruptures, both those & the more minor dehiscence of the scar together. It's still a risk, but my risk of a hysterectomy is much higher with a 3rd section! So not only am I dealing with GD, but this worry too. :sigh:

Not had a great day today, ran into some friends in the library who've heard through the grapevine about ds3. One was very matter-of-fact about it and said 'well it's not dial-a-baby' and that she thought as soon as I saw him on the scan all the thoughts of a baby girl would've flown out of the window. Little does she know. I just don't want to see anyone and hear their opinions just now. If they can't be excited and positive about him then they can Foxtrot Oscar!! It just fuels my GD and makes me feel like an even bigger failure as everyone knew how much I wanted a DD. I've learned a huge lesson not to open my mouth about anything so sensitive in the future. The trouble is DH really doesn't get it and gets angry with me. He says that it's pathetic and I should be grateful for what I have, two healthy boys. It just offends him. Whether he feels a tiny bit guilty I really don't know, perhaps not, I just feel soooo alone!! If only he was in my corner, it would be a lot easier. I wonder if his attitude stems from his own mum who had 4 boys and always wanted a girl? I can understand that, but then it'd be nice if he could try to see it from my point of view instead of taking offense. I'm so glad that we're trying to move town at the moment and I can leave all the town gossips behind. I was doing really well over the last few days, but it is seeing these so-called friends and acquaintances that make me feel awful. I hate to think what they're saying behind my back, no doubt they're all having a good laugh at my expense. That cuts likes a knife as I'm sure you'll understand.

I'm also worrying that I won't be able to get my hands on Clomid again and I worry that with one failure using it I won't have any chance at all. Irrational I know as lots of other things come into play, Clomid's no magic bullet. 2LB, I'm following your exercise thread and really want to do it next time. I think it's a great asset to a sway. Lastsong, I know that my absolute bloody-mindedness & control-freak attitude was probably my biggest downfall. How do you manage to find a mid-way between that and a relaxed sway??!! Part of me feels that I should just relax next time and not try & control everything. I think that if I find peace with being a boy mum and expect ds4, maybe that'll help. Despite my sway taking ages, I still had the attitude that if I did everything completely right it would work. That only works in an exam hall!!The only trouble is the big control-freak in me panics at the thought of not doing a sway perfectly and super-strict! I know I fit Atomic's description of a 'kitchen-sink sway' perfectly. The thought of just leaving it all to chance freaks me out though! How do you find peace with all of the conflicting feelings?

[Dreamofpink]

Oh, I just wanted to share one thought of why having sons in my life always makes me smile - I can guarantee that my mum NEVER found Action Man hanging from her washing line!! She had me & my sis, btw. :wink:

[2lovelyboys]

Dream that made me chuckle, action man on your washing line :), I had Thomas the Tank Engine down the toilet last week!

I understand what you mean about your DH, mine is the same, he is also from a family of boys! He doesn't understand the need/ want of a DD I even mentioned the possibility of HT but that's a definite no no, think he thinks I'm ungrateful, how do you explain that you love your boys, would never swap them but there is this dream/desire/pull almost need of wanting a DD?

I'm enjoying the exercise at the moment, nothing strenuous, all low intensity but I think it's helping me with my GD, if I can't be a girl mum then I will be a yummy boy mum :) hee hee

[Charlee]

Ladies, take it from me.... having your DH not only understand your GD, but feel the exact same way is a double edge sword! His GD has actually fueled mine. He was talking about #4 and I was barely 4 months pregnant with this one. I just kept thinking "ARE YOU FING CRAZY!!!" I haven't even given birth to this one yet and you're planning on knocking me up again?!! haha

Seriously though, it's nice that he understands my want for a DD, but sincerely bad that he feels the same way. In a lot of ways, it made me feel like an even bigger failure that I couldn't give him what he wanted... think about that one for a bit.

[GeCon]

Charlee, totally understand where you are coming from. OH is very, very happy with another boy, but I do know that he would have loved a girl himself and I know seeing me upset for not being able to give me what I want is very hard for him to see too.

[Dreamofpink]

Thomas down the loo?! Never good....ds1 is still in love with Thomas the tank & it's been his passion since he was 18 months old! Ds2 likes Action Men but has never been passionate about any one particular thing. However he does like to hang the men by their hands alongside my washing and I must admit they do look pretty cool up there!

So glad to hear that the exercise is helping you. I thought it was just my dh who was happy with only boys, he has no interest in a dd!! I tend to see him having sons as a big gift to him to right the wrongs that his extremely inadequate Dad has made throughout his life. We have no contact with him anymore as he's a sociopathic w*nker & was trying to teach our boys that all that matters in life is money among plenty of other things too. Thankfully dh had no contact with him between the ages of 3-15 and it's only ever been as a now & again Dad anyway. Dh is nothing like his Dad & is amazing with our boys. I just hope that 3 boys to father brilliantly is enough & I get a turn next! Lol!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

Charlee, your right that is a double edged sword! At least I'm only dealing with my own disappointment, not sure how I'd cope if I was dealing with it for 2 of us!

[Dreamofpink]

Sorry Charlee & Gecon I must've been typing as you posted so missed your posts. I can see how it would be hard having to deal with dh's gd too :( I think the only benefit must be the willingness to try again, whereas it was a fight to get my dh on board with this little one! Hopefully with a new house & no commute for him, he should be more open to dc4 provided I give birth okay & am able for #4!

It's never straightforward is it? Your poor dh! X x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Charlee]

Yes I really think it works both ways... My DH is more than happy to have sons, and I'm sure would have been devastated if we hadn't had these two amazing boys, but he has said that a little girl would have balanced everything out, that a girl would have been the icing on the cake to these two rowdy boys... he has said everything I thought, but didn't say... and hearing it out loud from him has been really tough. I can brush other people off, but I can't let his comments slide. He's not meaning to hurt my feelings, but it really hits home when I know there is someone else to validate my feelings... like I'm not being irrational about wanting a daughter so much. UGH... it's so hard, isn't it?

[Dreamofpink]

We went to a new hairdresser today who had her two boys in work with her. It was wonderful when she asked if I was having a boy or girl to hear her response. She said "boys are fab aren't they?!" Music to my ears! I felt I was faking til making it by enthusing back but I really need to get there too. One step at a time! I now know what my response will be to any other boy mums in a similar situation in the future as it was lovely!!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

I had a really calm day yesterday when I felt 100% at peace with DS3, the days are getting better, still another 2 weeks until my anomaly scan so I am hoping by then I will have improved more!

Feeling baby move a lot now, love the feeling, he loves being awake though the night and is quiet during the day, typical!

How is everyone else doing?

[2lovelyboys]

Dream, I love what your hairdresser said, I may adopt that too! Picking up some great comments :)

[Charlee]

I'm in the same boat with this little one... he is quiet most of the day and awake and active all night! Needless to say I wish his schedule would be at least a little more normal! He wakes me up constantly at all hours of the night! My ds1 was the same way, and unfortunately that hasn't changed at all ... so I think this means I better catch up on sleep as much as possible now because I envision many sleepless night with this little one! I was hoping to get lucky like I did with ds2 who has been an amazing sleeper since conception... guess you cant win them all, right? haha

[2lovelyboys]

Charlee, I can sympathise I think this little one will be like his brothers, they were the same, quiet during the day kicking me all night. In fact they were both terrible sleepers until they turned 9 ish months, now they are great, can't knock them! Gonna try and get sleep where I can, recharge my very drained batteries ready for the chaos! :)

[Dreamofpink]

I hope you're both managing to get enough sleep & your LO's settle into a more sociable sleeping pattern before they're born!

Viability today for this LO. Always glad to reach this point :)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[2lovelyboys]

Dream, I agree, I always count own the weeks in terms of viability. I move from one target to another every time I reach one its like a weigh off my shoulders!

How is everyone feeling? X

[EmmyRoo]

Hi everyone, I'm back from my break and finally caught up with all the posts! So lovely/sad to see so many newbies here, welcome to you all although I wish you didn't have to be here, iykwim.

I'm having good and bad days. I really thought I was making good progress, starting to believe that this is for the best, but then I got back from hols and started reading up on the ttc pink long termers thread and there were new pink announcements and it all just came crashing down again. I think I'm going to stick to just this thread until I'm feeling better about it all. I couldn't believe how sad I felt just seeing other people's good news. It really makes me hate myself too for not simply being happy for them.

On wed I went back to work and then saw my friends for the first time in a couple of weeks, so there were lots of comments about the pregnancy and "you never know it might be a girl this time". To be fair nobody said anything upsetting and every time gender was mentioned I said "yeah a girl would be lovely but it looked like a boy at the scan" and they all jumped to say that boys are lovely, my two will love a brother etc. I'm so glad I didn't tell anyone bar one close friend IRL about swaying. I feel like everyone would pity me so much and think "poor cow, she wanted a girl so much she thought starving herself would get her one and then it didn't even work". I can't bear that thought.
So I felt by the end of the day that I'd done nothing but trot out my go-to lines about how fab three boys will be all day, and I just wasn't buying any of it.

Then I got an email from my aunt, who has two grown up boys herself. Her kids, especially the eldest, are one of the reasons I have such negative associations with having boys. They were badly behaved, insensitive, foul mouthed, selfish, money-obsessed little sh*its when they were young and my three younger sisters and I always beamed with pride at how lovely and perfect we were in comparison to them when the family would meet up as kids. I grew up with the idea that boys were just awful and my parents thought that too, which makes it really hard not to believe that they prefer my sister's daughter to my sons, even though I know it's not true. Anyway, my aunt said that when pregnant with her DS2, she prayed that if it had to be a boy, please let it be a totally different personality to DS1, and he was. He's actually lovely now. She then said, "so you never know, if this is another boy he might be quiet, well-behaved and lovely" or something to that effect!!! I haven't replied yet, but I'm so tempted to say "what are you implying about my boys?! They ARE lovely, they may be loud and wild but boys are meant to be aren't they? At least they don't know any swear words and have empathy, unlike your two horrors at that age!!!" but I don't have the nerve. Plus I know she means well. She also said my having a third boy makes her even more sure my sister will have a second girl in 6 weeks. I could just cry, I know that will happen but why does she think that would be a nice thing to say to me? I love my niece to bits but she's not my daughter, as much as I'd love a second niece, it will make me really sad, especially as my sister doesn't even have a gender preference.

Why does it have to be that people who don't care either way get both genders and we, who only want ONE of our DG, don't get any? I am really struggling with the whole "fairness" issue. I can't accept that this isn't a question of "fair" or "unfair", that no one has decided that I don't deserve a DD, it just happened that way. I really don't know how to get past that.

I'm so glad you all understand how I feel, I honestly agree with everything I read in this thread, I'm so grateful for it. Sorry for going on, felt like I had a lot to get out today.

I hope you're all doing ok and making progress.

X

[EmmyRoo]

Hi everyone, I'm back from my break and finally caught up with all the posts! So lovely/sad to see so many newbies here, welcome to you all although I wish you didn't have to be here, iykwim.

I'm having good and bad days. I really thought I was making good progress, starting to believe that this is for the best, but then I got back from hols and started reading up on the ttc pink long termers thread and there were new pink announcements and it all just came crashing down again. I think I'm going to stick to just this thread until I'm feeling better about it all. I couldn't believe how sad I felt just seeing other people's good news. It really makes me hate myself too for not simply being happy for them.

On wed I went back to work and then saw my friends for the first time in a couple of weeks, so there were lots of comments about the pregnancy and "you never know it might be a girl this time". To be fair nobody said anything upsetting and every time gender was mentioned I said "yeah a girl would be lovely but it looked like a boy at the scan" and they all jumped to say that boys are lovely, my two will love a brother etc. I'm so glad I didn't tell anyone bar one close friend IRL about swaying. I feel like everyone would pity me so much and think "poor cow, she wanted a girl so much she thought starving herself would get her one and then it didn't even work". I can't bear that thought.
So I felt by the end of the day that I'd done nothing but trot out my go-to lines about how fab three boys will be all day, and I just wasn't buying any of it.

Then I got an email from my aunt, who has two grown up boys herself. Her kids, especially the eldest, are one of the reasons I have such negative associations with having boys. They were badly behaved, insensitive, foul mouthed, selfish, money-obsessed little sh*its when they were young and my three younger sisters and I always beamed with pride at how lovely and perfect we were in comparison to them when the family would meet up as kids. I grew up with the idea that boys were just awful and my parents thought that too, which makes it really hard not to believe that they prefer my sister's daughter to my sons, even though I know it's not true. Anyway, my aunt said that when pregnant with her DS2, she prayed that if it had to be a boy, please let it be a totally different personality to DS1, and he was. He's actually lovely now. She then said, "so you never know, if this is another boy he might be quiet, well-behaved and lovely" or something to that effect!!! I haven't replied yet, but I'm so tempted to say "what are you implying about my boys?! They ARE lovely, they may be loud and wild but boys are meant to be aren't they? At least they don't know any swear words and have empathy, unlike your two horrors at that age!!!" but I don't have the nerve. Plus I know she means well. She also said my having a third boy makes her even more sure my sister will have a second girl in 6 weeks. I could just cry, I know that will happen but why does she think that would be a nice thing to say to me? I love my niece to bits but she's not my daughter, as much as I'd love a second niece, it will make me really sad, especially as my sister doesn't even have a gender preference.

Why does it have to be that people who don't care either way get both genders and we, who only want ONE of our DG, don't get any? I am really struggling with the whole "fairness" issue. I can't accept that this isn't a question of "fair" or "unfair", that no one has decided that I don't deserve a DD, it just happened that way. I really don't know how to get past that.

I'm so glad you all understand how I feel, I honestly agree with everything I read in this thread, I'm so grateful for it. Sorry for going on, felt like I had a lot to get out today.

I hope you're all doing ok and making progress.

X

[EmmyRoo]

Oops, sorry for duplicate post! X

[2lovelyboys]

Emmyroo, glad you had a good holiday! Sorry if I missed it previously, was it your scan that indicates boy? It is a real emotional roller coaster, I'm having more good days than bad now but still not 100% there yet, so glad I found out gender early! Told my ILs yesterday that this is DS3 although they said all the right things their words didn't match the reactions on their face, they are desperate for a girl in the family :( had a few comments today were people are convinced this is a girl, I keep try to tell them it maybe and is likely to be a boy, comments still get to me but are becoming easier to shrug off!

[EmmyRoo]

Yes 2LB, my NT scan at 12+3 showed really obvious boy bits, the sonographer was laughing at how obvious it was. I saw a sticking up, bobbly nub briefly too, so even though potty shots are unreliable at that stage there really is no doubt. It'll be confirmed in two weeks at my private gender scan.

I'm glad you're finding it easier as time passes, I'm hoping to be the same. I am also glad I've found out early, although it feels like I've lost some of the excitement I felt about this pregnancy. There's no good time to hear what you don't want to hear though. I'm really hoping I don't get any negative comments when we properly go public, it would make everything so much worse. I know what you mean about your ILs' reaction, its like people are saying how great it is having all boys but there's a note of consolation in their voice that they wouldn't have if it was a girl.

X

[mindyjean]

Why does it have to be that people who don't care either way get both genders and we, who only want ONE of our DG, don't get any? I am really struggling with the whole "fairness" issue. I can't accept that this isn't a question of "fair" or "unfair", that no one has decided that I don't deserve a DD, it just happened that way. I really don't know how to get past that.

I agree with the feeling of it being COMPLETELY unfair. Everyone I know, with the exception of maybe 2 people got what gender they wanted--or have one of each, or didn't care what they got, so were happy with whatever.

It has been a rough week here, too. I am a teacher, so we went back to school (just inservice days), but we had a back to school night where lots of parents stopped in to see me. Everyone asked what we were having, and all of them were surprised when I said we're having 3rd boy. One mom said "OH I feel SO SORRY for you. Boys are a different breed." (She has a daughter and 2 boys). One mom said "Oh my girls will be so disappointed (she has 3 girls that have been my students)." One of my fellow teachers said "Now, be sure you love this boy..." and I know he was completely kidding, but I was like, really?

And then today, I got my hair done (which felt great). I was dreading it because she herself is pregnant. I haven't told her the last 2 times because I just wasn't ready to talk about it. Of course it was the first thing she asked me, so when I told her she said "Oh I was wondering, because you hadn't posted anything on facebook." I said "I didn't want to deal with people's stupid comments about how they feel sorry for me, and they will pray for me, blah blah blah."

And then the whole rest of the appt, she kept talking about how she is already calling the baby "she" because she just has a "feeling" it is a girl, and when people ask her if she will be disappointed if it is a boy, she says "yes." When she said that at the end of the appointment, I just walked out and said "okay, see you later!" because I was done talking to her about it. I'm sure she'll get her girl.

[rainbowflower]

sorry to crash, but just want to say *hugs* Emmyroo, nubs aren't 100% accurate before 13 weeks, probably 80% at best so you still have a chance x

[2lovelyboys]

Rainbow flower, I agree!

Ladies hope you are all having a good weekend! I completely agree that this is sooooooooo unfair, I'm the only person I know with all one gender, everyone else has both :(. When they find out they are having their DG they are really excited! I know I've mentioned this already but my friend has a DS the same age as my DS1 and is due in Dec with twin girls, she is over the moon. How does this happen? I'm not greedy, I'd be happy with one :)

I was also at the hairdresser this weekend, talk automatically became about babies, the women were discussing whether they would have had no3 if they hadn't got their pigeon pairs! Boooooooooo

[EmmyRoo]

Hi ladies, just a quickie for the UK girls...
I've just been in M&Co (formerly MacKays) and they have some LOVELY baby boy stuff, I was actually not even looking at the girl stuff longingly, just cooing over the boy stuff and wishing it wasn't so early so I could buy some! I hope they still have it in a couple of weeks so I can get something nice for this one!
X

[2lovelyboys]

Emmyroo, they do have some nice bits on there, I bought some summer clothes for my boys in there this year! May have to go in and have another look!

How is everyone today? DS1 was poorly last week, DS2 has now been poorly for a couple of days and today I woke up feeling awful :(

[meeks32]

Hi ladies, just a quickie for the UK girls...
I've just been in M&Co (formerly MacKays) and they have some LOVELY baby boy stuff, I was actually not even looking at the girl stuff longingly, just cooing over the boy stuff and wishing it wasn't so early so I could buy some! I hope they still have it in a couple of weeks so I can get something nice for this one!
X

THANK YOU!

FYI ladies around the world, M&Co do free worldwide delivery for orders over 50 pounds. I'm stalking! They even offer currency conversion top right if you check out their website.

[Charlee]

Hi ladies... just dropping in to say a quick hello and offer hugs to those who are having bad GD days.

I am in a bad spot, and I really wish gender was my biggest concern right now. I started spotting last night :( I have a Dr appt tomorrow but might end up going today.... called her to tell her about it and she said if the spotting turns to bleeding to go straight to the ER. Placenta abrupt ion is the worry... that was her main concern after my terrible car accident awhile ago but I thought I was in the clear by now. I sincerely hope this is benign and not a sign of bigger problems ahead.

Problems like this puts GD in perspective for me.... I would rather have a beautiful baby boy than no baby at all :(

[EmmyRoo]

Oh my god Charlee how terrifying! I really hope everything is ok! It does put gender in perspective so much when things like this happen, I hope and pray your little boy hangs on in there. Let us know how you get on at the doctor when you can.
X

[meeks32]

Hi ladies... just dropping in to say a quick hello and offer hugs to those who are having bad GD days.

I am in a bad spot, and I really wish gender was my biggest concern right now. I started spotting last night :( I have a Dr appt tomorrow but might end up going today.... called her to tell her about it and she said if the spotting turns to bleeding to go straight to the ER. Placenta abrupt ion is the worry... that was her main concern after my terrible car accident awhile ago but I thought I was in the clear by now. I sincerely hope this is benign and not a sign of bigger problems ahead.

Problems like this puts GD in perspective for me.... I would rather have a beautiful baby boy than no baby at all :(

Charlee I'm so so sorry this is happening, I have everything crossed for you. Is it brown blood? Could it be spotting leftover from the crash that has finally come out? Please keep us posted, I'll be worrying quietly over here.

Sorry to barge in on this thread, I subscribe to it and usually dont keep up, but saw Charlees comment and had to jump in. xxx

[2lovelyboys]

Charlee, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, I agree that a healthy baby regardless of gender is what we ultimately want! Your Dr sounds very supportive, let us know how your appointment goes!

I've had a rubbish few days, last week DS1 was poorly, the past couple of days DS2 has been poorly, I fell on Sunday pulling my back then woke up yesterday poorly as well, yuck! Dealing with one thing at a time is fine but all at once is a killer!!

How is everyone else today? X x

[Lastsong]

Oh Charlee I hope everything is okay!

DS has been sick, then DH got it and I'm holding up the fort! Some idiots decided to put in an offer on a house and put our house on the market too, so that's been a lot of stress! Have my morph scan tomorrow though, looking forward to seeing baby and DH finally finding out the gender.

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy, hope you had a good holiday! Good to see you back, though I hope your good days begin to outnumber the bad days very soon. ((hugs))

Charlee, I replied on the other thread - what an awful worry for you. I really hope that things settle down and ds3 stays safe kicking away for another 16 weeks! Looking forward to your update.

2lovelyboys & Lastsong, so sorry to hear that you've had sickness in your houses. As is pg isn't hard enough on it's own! ((hugs)) 2LB, how's your back feeling today? Are both of your boys recovered now? Lastsong, I am very familiar with those idiots who decide to put their house on the market at such a delicate time of life :wink: I hope it goes smoothly for you, we're on our 3rd set of buyers in 3 months and really hope it goes through this time. I want to move house in 4 weeks time so that I can get the nursery ready! How's your ds & dh feeling now? Have you had a lot of viewings to prepare for? Hope your scan goes well & DH is okay with the news. Keep us posted.

Mindy, I can't believe how insensitive some people can be! I too really hate it when others say how boys are so different to girls. I've always fought hard against that misconception and think it's more to do with how parents behave towards different genders. There does tend to be an attitude of 'boys will be boys' and that they will be unruly. It's so untrue, my two are polite and calm in public. I've seen some shocking behaviour from little girls which has left my two boys looking on in bemusement! Those who have mixed gender families who demonise boys *IMHO* can't cope with their own boys and so project that feeling onto all boys.

I'm starting to actually process my feelings of gd now for the first time in over 4 years. I've been in denial since ds2 was born and now I've decided to confront it head-on. I still have plenty of sad days but I'm starting to feel cross at gd now and don't want to be feeling that way at all. I am actually embracing blue too, which I hated with ds2. It felt like it represented failure to conceive a dd, now though I want ds3 to wear blue head-to-toe and f**k the world & their opinions on my 3 little boys! Hahaha!!

[Lastsong]

Dreamofpink, glad we're not the only crazy ones! We're getting ready for the first viewing - decluttering and cleaning everything, house is looking good though. Fingers crossed it doesn't take too long. Yep the boys are much better now thank goodness!

I'm going to dress this one head to toe in blue too - I'll show everyone I'm proud to have two beautiful boys. :)

[grace03]

Hi girls , I was watching brides of Beverley hills today and a mother of four boys was renewing her vows after 25 yrs , her youngest two were there with her husband and she said her older two wouldn't come to a bridal salon but then they showed up it was so sweet and the boys were all so cute aged from 9 to 24 it just shows me that not having a daughter isn't the end of the world xxx
Hope everyone is going well and charlee hope everything is ok with you xx

[meeks32]

Dream I hate the excuse 'boys will be boys' too, its a cop out by mums that can't be bothered disciplining their boys, or by mums that favour them and let them get away with murder. Thats how we end up with men who rape women and have utter disregard for the law. No wonder male prisoners outnumber female 7-1.

HOWEVER I am a mum who is astounded by the genetic differences between boys and girls (hear me out). I am surrounded by girl mums, the vast majority of my friends have girls, except a select few I've befriended since having boys myself. This was unintentional but left me surrounded by young 0-4 aged girls often.Prior to having kids I truly believed the boy/girl divide was completely environmental... how you raise your children makes them one way or another, and if you give them gender specific toys and condition them to be more boy-ish or girl-ish in their behaviour, then of course they will be. But then I had my own and gave them gender neutral things, taught them both ways of life, and still, when a truck went past, they would flap around even as babies to lean towards it and watch it go past, where my friends girls would cry and get a fright from the noise. As toddlers, when we gave the girls snacks at the kiddie table, they would sit and eat, where mine would have a bite then get down and play. When they were given farm animals, the boys would crash them into eachother making car crash noises, which I have ALWAYS discouraged, yet the girls would set up little farms (which my boys also did but this was far less common than the crashing). It never fails to amaze me, no matter how many rules I make, eg No guns in our house, no pushing or fighting or crashing or throwing toys etc, that their natural instincts are to do exactly those things. Build a block tower up, crash it down and laugh, that sort of thing. The girls that visit us NEVER even think of doing those things until my boys do, then they watch in amazement just like I do, probably wondering what on earth caused them to think of using the toy like that!!! lol

I never, ever use it as an excuse and if anything, when we go to the park, the girl mums chat, their girls chat or play together, or if they run from the park its to roll down the hill together or pick flowers (yes, seriously, they do that). Where I chase my boys, try to keep them in the park, keep them from climbing onto the roof of the play area, keep them from throwing the mulch, or swinging backwards and upside down, or climbing the wrong way up the slide. ALL I do is chase and tell them off. I find this incredibly stressful but tell myself i'm making better boys. But I look lustfully at the relaxing girl mums and wish I could stand and chat too.

Of course, if I have a girl, I have NO DOUBT she will be exactly as rambunctious as my boys, since I was pretty hyper and tom-boyish as a girl myself, but maybe she will sit and play farm animals without crashing, or pick flowers instead of throwing mulch in kids faces? Hahaha probably not, who am I kidding?

If this one is a boy I plan to buy blue things too, with the last two I was very adamant on neutral colours which could be re-used for the next baby regardless of gender. This time this is our last, so if its a boy I plan to embrace that. Particularly as after two reflux babies, most of the 0-12 months clothes are completely stained and I have very few that are good enough to reuse a third time.

[meeks32]

omg sorry didnt realise this was in the opposites group, the new tapatalk app is so annoying not showing titles once you open a thread. SORRY I didnt mean to jump in on your space and talk gender... *running to hide*

Really, really sorry!

It must have come up in my feed because I commented on Charlee's thing yesterday.

[myrainbowgirl]

Hi everyone! May I join? Found out Friday through MaterniT21 that I am having my fourth boy (!!). I have had a rough time, but I'm *beginning* to feel a tiny bit better. I know it's only been 4 days, but I have been just completely and utterly devastated. Those of you on the other 2 due date threads know my story...I won't go into details here, but really felt that this one would be a girl. Barely considered the possibility of another boy until AFTER I was pregnant, due to my sway and feeling that God had promised me a girl. (Feel free to read my sway for an idea of what I'm talking about.)

DH is completely supportive, and also believes God promised me a girl, and is therefore willing (money is no object, according to him) to do what it takes to get our girl...adoption, HT (I think, have mentioned it to him before), or trying again on our own. Says, who is he to stand in the way of God fulfilling His promise to me? He amazes me. I am unsure of how I feel about another, as I am having a hard time managing my 3 boys at the moment...mostly because it's the end of the summer, and my DS1 doesn't start school till Sept. (new school, so they're still finishing the building). DS2 just started preschool last week, and that is helping. Also, DH is working lots of hours, and I am just DONE with the being at home with all 3 all day long. I know things will improve when both older boys are in school, but right now it's fueling my GD.

Anyway, I read through this entire thread, and I have to say it has been so encouraging! I love hearing all your stories and concerns about another boy, etc., etc. I could absolutely write some of your posts! It's encouraging to see those of you who found out awhile ago starting to feel better and having mostly good days. Looking forward to when I get there!

I told my parents tonight (they didn't even know I am pg, they live across the country). They have 9 grandkids, only 1 girl. So I KNOW they would love another granddaughter. BUT, they were amazingly supportive and encouraging. Said they are very excited to meet this little guy, and he must be so special and meant for our family! I am feeling much better after talking with them...I must have been subconsciously very worried about how they would react. Obviously shouldn't have been!

Anyway, will start doing personals very soon, but thanks for letting me introduce myself. And again, I am already encouraged by all your posts...feels great to not be so alone!

[2lovelyboys]

Meeks, no worries about gate crashing :). Your post made me chuckle! Although my little ones are still very young they are definitely boys! We have all sorts of toys in our house including push chair and doll however they boys automatically wander towards the cars/fire engines/balls and spend hours throwing, crashing making neeee nawwww noises and I spend hours telling them to stop throwing, stop crashing, play nicely ....... Oh and over the past few weeks I have found Thomas the Tank engine and a couple of cars down the toilet!!! BOYS!!! Gotta love them though :)

Rainbow girl, good to see you hear! So much easier to talk about your feelings here as everyone is in the same boat! Your DH really does sound fantastic! My DH wouldn't go for HT although I have broached the subject, he thins it should all be left to fate and what will be will be! I found your post (yesterday I think) about your possible ideas and plans to sway again, a whoopsie pregnancy, really interesting, I think that is the way I will go..... Been thinking about it a lot recently. Yours are very close in age like mine :) So glad you were able to talk to your parents, sounds like you have a lot of good support!

I am really looking forward to DS3 now, can't wait to meet him, my boys were playing soooooo nicely yesterday and I could visualise 3 of them together! Still having bad days although they are fewer and far between they seem to hit me harder than before? Hmm?

Charlee, hope you are managing to get some rest! Hope your u/s goes well, keep us posted!

[meeks32]

Meeks, no worries about gate crashing :). Your post made me chuckle! Although my little ones are still very young they are definitely boys! We have all sorts of toys in our house including push chair and doll however they boys automatically wander towards the cars/fire engines/balls and spend hours throwing, crashing making neeee nawwww noises and I spend hours telling them to stop throwing, stop crashing, play nicely ....... Oh and over the past few weeks I have found Thomas the Tank engine and a couple of cars down the toilet!!! BOYS!!! Gotta love them though :)

!

^^^ this, makes me feel SO much better after the day I've had. It was a particularity naughty whingey day today in our house and I spent almost every moment disciplining. One of those days where you feel they will never be good again and it's all a lost cause. Ds1 is a massive challenge for us. But it's winter and we can't get outside much which is his haven.

[EmmyRoo]

Meeks I'm really glad you posted this cos I am having the WORST time with my two just now. DS1 especially is being unbearable. He has just gone back to school, started his second year of primary, and I hoped that the routine would be good for his behaviour at home but he just comes home and starts kicking off. He starts by screaming at me when I tell him to change his clothes, then he will screech at his brother and hit him every time DS2 does anything remotely annoying.

DS2 just ignores me, so every time I ask him to do anything he literally just carries on like he can't hear me, but I know he can. As a result I literally spend EVERY day screaming and fighting with them. I hate to use the word respect like they owe me it for nothing, but they have no respect for me or what I say at all.

DH has had countless chats with them about behaving for me, not winding me up cos it's not good for the baby but it goes in one ear and out the other. Tonight i ended up crying in the bathroom for half an hour. It just feels so desperately unfair that I should have it so much harder than those with one or more girls. My friends who have both genders have much calmer and better behaved boys, my two seem to fuel each others wildness. My sister (girl mum) and my mum (4-girl mum) tell me all these strategies I should be using but they don't know what it's like on a day to day basis to have this constant struggle with them. I can't remember ever screaming in my mums face that I hated her at the age of 6?! I would NEVER have talked to my dad the way my boys talk to their dad. Maybe that's a good thing, they aren't frightened of us - not that I was frightened of my dad, but I had a healthy respect for him and didn't want to get into trouble. My boys don't seem to care if they get into trouble.

I tell myself all the time that this is just what boys are like, but I am so frightened that I have done this to them, I have made DS1 into a hot tempered screaming nightmare because he sees me lose my temper with him, his brother, the computer etc etc all the time and he's just learnt to copy my behaviour. I was so stressed with PND when he was born, I think he's absorbed it all and I've created this monster.

DS2 just doesn't care about his behaviour or getting into trouble at all. I am just so tired, I can't believe that I am going to have another one, who will feed off the older two and together, they'll create even more havoc than I have now. And I'll probably ruin him too. I wish I could go back to the start and have another chance at raising them without this constant anger that seems to pervade our lives all the time. If its not the boys yelling, it's DH and me. Sometimes we laugh about how loud a household we are, but tonight it just worries me terribly.

Not a good day, and it's my 9th wedding anniversary too. Happy anniversary DH - you'd have been better staying at the office! Poor guy.

Sorry to moan. Hope you're all doing ok?

Welcome myrainbowgirl, this is a great thread - when I'm not depressing everyone with my tales of woe! Lol!

Has anyone heard from Charlee? Really worried about her after her last post.

X

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy & Meeks, I'm sorry that your boys are giving you both such a hard time. I wish I could reassure you that that is just boys, but it's not in my experience :( My two are certainly no angels - they have their moments - but I do think maybe age has a role in it. Are you aware that boys go through a testosterone surge around the ages of 4 and 7? It's certainly been noticeable with ds1 as he's usually a very calm, caring quiet little boy. He'd always make his trains have big long conversations when he was little rather than 'boosh' one another. We've always joked that he should've been a girl & the way he looked so comfortable walking around with my mum's handbag on his shoulder this weekend made us all a little uneasy!

Ds2 on the other hand has always been a definite boy's boy but is a lot more openly affectionate than ds1. He prefers to 'boosh' things but is still very well behaved, generally. Neither have been to nursery or school, so I don't know if that makes any difference. I really don't think any daughter of ours would be any better behaved! We're lucky to get lots of compliments on their polite manner in public BUT equally they can be quite forward, which I think sometimes can come across as precocious!

I really really don't want to come across as a SMO-B (lol!) kids are always trying and just when you think you've got one stage in their lives sorted, they change!! We've just introduced a star chart to get them to help tidy up & behave well when we're at the supermarket. It does seem to work, but I loathe using reward charts as they need to understand what is appropriate without being rewarded for it. However, I do remember me & my sis driving my mum mad when out shopping. I guess it's just boring to kids and they naturally start to mess around.

Your kids will get easier & I am hoping that the change in family dynamics with a new addition will make a difference. I am so excited to see both of my boys bond with their new brother and can't wait to see how they all interact!

Emmy, Charlee posted on another thread - sorry, can't remember which one. I'll see if I can find it for you....x x x

[Dreamofpink]

Here's Charlee's update from earlier:

Okay back from the doctor.... she did an internal exam and found out I'm dialiated to 2 cm already, which is where the blood and mucous is most likely coming from. Since I'm already starting to dialiate, I'm now on partial bed rest. She would like for me to be on full bed rest but knows that I won't be able to do it, nor would I if I could! LOL.... stubborn as always!

Anyway, she scheduled an extensive in depth u/s at the hospital for me just to make sure baby is okay and placenta is fully attached. I should find out by tomorrow when the appt is. The needed a day to process the paperwork from my doctor before they would schedule me.

So all in all, it's better news than it could have been. Being at 2 cm this early is not a wonderful thing, but it's much better news than I could have had. I'm not contracting either so premature labor doesn't seem to be a concern. I'll know more after my u/s....

I really love that I have you ladies to talk to No one else IRL seems to fully understand the ups and downs of the joys of pregnancy LOL...

P.S. I left my doctor appt (after being told to be on partial bed rest, and took my boys to the beach... I am terrible!) haha

[Dreamofpink]

BTW, I hope you are resting plenty Charlee!! We want to see lots of gorgeous baby pictures from you.....in December..lol!!

Myrainbowgirl, welcome to the thread as much as I understand you not wanting to be here, we're happy to have you. We all wear a special badge of honour in this thread...:wink:

[myrainbowgirl]

Emmy - Some of what you wrote sounds very familiar to me. My DS1 is my challenge...he is always pushing (anyone's) buttons, bullying his brothers, trying to control (EVERYTHING), and whining about something. It makes me INSANE. On the other hand, he is such a lover. He tells me he loves me at least 3-4 times a day, and loves to hug. (Awww.) But, I can't help but struggle seeing the good in all the bad. DS2 is my sweet pea. BUT, he just turned 4, and can certainly challenge us...like your DS2, he doesn't listen well at all, and does things on his OWN time table. But, generally, he is not overly selfish, is giving, and is honestly so smart and funny. But, he and his older brother fight ALL the time. (Mainly instigated by DS1.) DS3 is just a baby (15 months), but he has recently entered a phase that is tough. Throwing food, toys, climbing on furniture and playing with the blinds and lampshades, constantly dropping things loudly onto our wood floors. He is so stinkin' adorable physically, but I certainly don't enjoy this current phase. He does love me, though...he is a cuddler and kisser, which is so cute coming from a baby.

All that being said, my DS1 is starting school a month later than he normally would, because we enrolled him at a brand-new school whose building is still being completed. He would have gone to school Aug. 5th, but instead now he won't till Sept. 3rd. I am SO over the summer and ready for him to go back! DS2 started preschool last week, and that seems to be helping add a little more structure to our days (but only 2 days a week!). I had already been thinking (before we found out boy #4 on Friday) that there was no way I could handle another boy...they were/are driving me crazy! And then, BAM, it's a fourth boy. OMG. The pain, for so many reasons (handling another boy, losing the dream of a daughter, feeling betrayed by God {I don't anymore, but did at first}, the dealing with stupid comments from others, etc.) has been terrible. I have cried so much in the last few days...you are not alone!! I am so glad to hear you ladies' honesty about the difficulties of being a boy mom. We all must be extra special to have been given the task to raise these little men! I don't think many women could handle it!

Meeks - I feel your pain, too. UGH, boys can certainly be hard, huh?? I feel like I am rarely ever "fun" with them...don't even find their funny silliness particularly enjoyable sometimes. I am praying for grace to be a better mommy to them, and to try to embrace the phase of life we are in right now.

Dream - Your boys sound so sweet! You're doing a great job, mama! :) And yes, you are right...we all deserve a special badge of honor for dealing with our crazy little monkeys!

2lovelyboys - Sounds like you are making wonderful progress in dealing with GD! So awesome that you are getting so excited for DS3! Woohoo!

Speaking of getting excited, I am hoping that getting to do lots of clothes shopping will help! My other 3 boys were (mostly) warm weather babies, and this one is most definitely not. Plus, a lot of my newborn, 3 month, and 6 month clothes are reeallly worn out and stained due to all the reflux. So, looking forward to sorting through it all and only keeping the best and throwing out the rest! Will be fun to pretty much start over. :)

[Charlee]

omg sorry didnt realise this was in the opposites group, the new tapatalk app is so annoying not showing titles once you open a thread. SORRY I didnt mean to jump in on your space and talk gender... *running to hide*

Really, really sorry!

It must have come up in my feed because I commented on Charlee's thing yesterday.

Meeks you are so funny! Its okay that you tell about gender here... that's all we ever talk about! Haha and you don't know FOR SIRE you're having a girl get, although I would bet my bottom dollar lol) But please don't feel like you can't post here... we're all in this together, remember? :)

[Charlee]

Quick update again: my u/s appt is on the 28th which was the earliest they could schedule me. In the meantime I'm trying my best to stay down... we had a busy day (we bought a new car today) so I was running around all day, I had no choice! Once I got home the cramps and co tractions were so bad that I played down and slept for 2 hrs... dh took care of the boys and dinner... everything. He's not so bad sometimes :) LOL... I'm starting to worry about all this now.... I really don't want a preemie this early :(

[myrainbowgirl]

Charlee - PLEASE rest as much as you can. Yay that your DH took care of the boys for you...hopefully he can handle it as much as possible so you can REALLY take it easy.

AFM - Looked a little more at Microsort...turns out, overall pg rates are only 12-15%, and not particularly recommended for someone who will be my age when I try again. Ugh. Don't think DH will be up for $5000 with only those odds (and I don't think I am either!) But, IVF/PGD is seriously daunting, with all the protocol, and no guarantee of a baby at the end, or how many cycles (and more $) it would take to get there. We *could* do the money, but really we don't have it just set aside for a rainy day, ya know?? While DH is willing, I am beginning to wonder if I am. At least with adoption, there's a guarantee of a baby in the end. BUT, it can actually end up being the most expensive option out there! Sooo...really beginning to ponder another sway. It is obviously SUPER risky, but I may hang around here just to see how the stats play out...and may just roll the dice again. Oh, but I just don't know if I can go through this heartbreak again. The one thing I would ABSOLUTELY change would be intense exercise. Didn't think I could do it, because I was too thin already, but obviously, I o'd just fine at a low BMI and got pg the first time. So, we'll see. An oops pg would also be a decent option, since there would be no obsessing. And of course, my final option is to accept being an all-boy mom and just choose to be happy with my 4 little blessings!

[oxox2013]

Hey everyone! I havent checked in with you all in awhile. Just caught up on the posts... looks like everyone is doing so good for the most part.

Charlee I have really been thinking about you lately. I hope you dont mind, but on days where my GD is really kicking my butt, I think of you and all of the things you have been through and how great your attitude seems to be and I strive to put on my brave face and keep my head up! You are so amazing. And now to be put on bedrest! I am thinking of you and that sweet boy of yours and hoping he stays cooking for a long time.

AFM, I think I am doing better. Still having a lot of moments of "why couldnt I just have this ONE thing??" Sadly, I have had several pity me moments. There have been a few times that I have tried to do something to get pumped about boy number 3 but I just feel so lost still. Im really hoping it gets better soon. Two weeks yesterday since we found out. I have really been looking into a fourth but I dont know if I could do it again if its going to be another boy. I have been trying to get my DH on board with HT but I dont think its super promising. I really wish I could just accept my hand and be happy with it!

[EmmyRoo]

Thanks for your replies, I am feeling a bit better today than on Wednesday! I had a chat with DS1 last night about being nicer to each other and he seemed to take it on board. It'll remain to be seen whether he actually changes his behavour much though!
I think I need to work on that thing of counting to ten before reacting, cos at the moment I just blow up instinctively at the boys and that is never good.

I think this is a big part of my GD too, I hate to think that strangers in the street are looking at me struggling to control my boys, then at my bump, and thinking "what on EARTH is she doing having a third kid when she can't deal with the two she has?!". I don't know how having a girl bump would make any difference to that, maybe just my knowledge that I would be having a totally different, calm girl this time instead of another rowdy boy.

On a more positive note though, I have to say that after reading these forums for 18 months now, and seeing the horrible comments some people have got from others re. gender, I am so pleasantly surprised at how FEW negative comments I've had. I actually think it is helping me to try to reframe my thoughts and feelings on having boys. I am someone who seems to need constant validation from others (god knows why, I really bug myself being like this) so I think having people say nice things about having all boys is acutally making me think "yeah, maybe it IS ok having all boys, maybe the world DOESN'T pity me, perhaps boys AREN'T universally thought of as an awful booby prize in the baby-gender-lottery?". I totally get how having the negative comments makes GD so much harder too. I've had them from my Grandma and my boy-mum Aunt so far, but I really do think it's THEIR own feelings on boys and experience of boys that they're referring to, rather than a comment on MY boys, iykwim?

How is everyone doing today? Hope you are all good, we'll get there!

x

[Charlee]

Hey everyone! I havent checked in with you all in awhile. Just caught up on the posts... looks like everyone is doing so good for the most part.

Charlee I have really been thinking about you lately. I hope you dont mind, but on days where my GD is really kicking my butt, I think of you and all of the things you have been through and how great your attitude seems to be and I strive to put on my brave face and keep my head up! You are so amazing. And now to be put on bedrest! I am thinking of you and that sweet boy of yours and hoping he stays cooking for a long time.

AFM, I think I am doing better. Still having a lot of moments of "why couldnt I just have this ONE thing??" Sadly, I have had several pity me moments. There have been a few times that I have tried to do something to get pumped about boy number 3 but I just feel so lost still. Im really hoping it gets better soon. Two weeks yesterday since we found out. I have really been looking into a fourth but I dont know if I could do it again if its going to be another boy. I have been trying to get my DH on board with HT but I dont think its super promising. I really wish I could just accept my hand and be happy with it!

That is so sweet! Of course I don't mind... and I'm glad that I can help in any possible way to sort out your GD feelings. I had some VERY rough days too, and I still feel it's a tad bit unfair that I didn't get my way (LOL!) but in the end I started this journey to have another child.... a sweet, precious baby. A girl would have been the icing on the cake, but I keep coming back to the thought that this baby was meant to be!

And maybe, just maybe, one day I will have a little girl (Although I might just have to steal one at this rate! hahaha) :)

[Charlee]

Emmy and myrainbowgirl - I can totally relate to your DS's driving you crazy at the moment... My boys don't start school until Sept 3rd and I'm literally counting the hours! They are fighting so badly since they have been together so much this summer... I have the utmost respect for people who homeschool because I know for a fact I could never do it... I don't have the patience!!! They are saints in my book :)

[myrainbowgirl]

oxox - I feel your pain. Last night, we were at DS1's school's grand opening (he's going to a brand-new school this year)...they were running around on the field, and I couldn't help but look around at all the families, almost all with mixed gender, of course, and think...I just wanted one. Just ONE girl. Nope, four boys. Ugh, so sad. I am just feeling sorry for myself, though, I understand that I am so blessed...just need to change my attitude!

Charlee - How's baby doing?? Sorry to hear your DS's are driving you nuts, too. Sept. 3rd, Sept. 3rd, Sept. 3rd...LOL!! :)

Emmy - So glad people are being nice! I am so dreading announcing. Maybe I need to give people more credit! I just know all the stupid comments I've gotten in the past, so I guess I am just bracing myself for it. I had a very sweet friend e-mail me yesterday to say she was thinking about me...wondering about my gender results, etc., etc. I e-mailed her back to tell her and told her how much I was struggling. This morning she came by my house and dropped off a cute little cupcake (along with a sweet note) from a fancy cupcake shop! Love her! So yeah, I guess people aren't so bad. :)

AFM - Am starting to warm up to the thought of IVF/PGD. Seems to be the best bet for my age. Pretty much have ruled out Microsort. Am also pondering another sway, but I am nervous that DH's sperm may be the culprit (at least in part). I have read Atomic's essay on all men making 50/50 sperm, and I totally agree, but she does state that doesn't mean that there aren't other biological or environmental factors that could have an affect on the x or y sperm, potentially making one type always more likely to win the race. If I wasn't worried about that, I might be more likely to try another sway in order to avoid spending all that money. I guess we'll see.

[Mabel_79]

Hi, can I join your group please?
Sorry I haven't taken time to read all the 19 pages of posts yet- I will get round to it!
I have taken myself off Facebook and InGender as all the girls I know who are pregnant or who I swayed with are having girls and while I'm happy for them, I am so sad I'm not. Actually, that's a lie- I'm not really happy for them- feeling so bitter right now that I wish they were having boys and I was having the girl.
So, it would be nice to join a group of other Mums who are having boys but wanted girls.

It took me 4 years to convince/bully my husband into trying for no.3 as I was so desperate for a daughter. But he will never agree to 4 so this is my last chance gone. Starting to come to terms with it and don't feel so sad during the day ant more, but can't stop dreaming every single night about gender related things (last night it was that the sonographer had got wrong and it was a girl after all), so I guess it must be on my mind a lot.

A few people on the Gender Dissapointment thread recommended that I 'named' the baby in order to try and feel better about it but I am totally stuck for names. Husband and I have only ever had one name we agree on and it's a girls name! We ended up naming our other sons a bit randomly and more than a week after they were born as we just couldn't think of any we both liked. So wondered if you would be willing to share any baby boy names you are thinking of calling your Christmas babies. Or names of your other boys.
Xx

[EmmyRoo]

Welcome Mabel and huge :hugs: to you. It looks from your signature that we're in similar positions. This is my last chance baby too, it's not a nice place to be, trying to accept there are no more chances. This is a good and supportive thread though, I hope we'll all come to be happy with our lot in the end.

X

[myrainbowgirl]

Mabel - Welcome! I am having my 4th boy. It has been such a heartbreak...I have actually been quite shocked at how horrible I've felt, as I really thought I was ok with another boy. About a week and a half after finding out, I can tell you that I am beginning to feel better. Yes, trying to think of names here, too, and finding it difficult. My DH and I had a perfect girl name picked out, too, and hadn't given another boy name a single thought. So I feel your pain! I have a Jonathan Henry, Joshua Maxwell, and Benjamin Joseph. Right now, leaning towards William David (to honor our dads) for this little guy. But not settled yet. We have chosen very strong/classic/Biblical names, and I really love them. Not sure what your name "style" is, but there are mine! :) GL choosing, and congrats on sweet boy #3!

[Mabel_79]

Thanks ladies- love your names myrainbowgirl. I currently have a Rowan Joseph and an Alexander Louis. We are seriously stuck for names this time though!! Xx

[2lovelyboys]

Welcome Mabel! Choosing names is sooooooo difficult, we like traditional names, I'm thinking Andrew Thomas for this little one after DH but he isn't as keen!

I'm having a bad day 2day, got my anomaly scan this afternoon, although I've known gender for 4 weeks now we haven't old anyone, they all know we will be finding out 2day (text messages have started already) I've been happy keeping gender to myself, have needed the time to adjust, don't feel ready for everyone else to know. I know the scan is for the health of my baby and that should be my primary concern but I'm so nervous, scared generally crazy and not sure why?!

Sorry to be a moaning minnie especially when everyone is doing so well!!

[zebaniee]

Mabel, if I ever have a boy it will be Samuel William. I also love christopher and Nicholas.

I am having my third girl and also feel a bit stuck with names. I already used all the good ones with my first two :)

[oxox2013]

Welcome Mabel! I am sorry that you didnt hear girl either :( there are so many more of us on this thread than there should be! BOO to failed girl sways. I wonder what the deal is? Especially with the boys swayers doing so well??

Anyway naming this boy has been on the top of my to do list in order to help me feel more connected to him. I have been hoping that naming him would help me move forward with planning and what not. The problem is, my DH doesnt see how dumb his ideas are and how great mine are! LOL!! No but really we just have different tastes in boy names so it is proving quite the battle. And like others, we have the perfect girls name picked out. No bickering or arguing over that one.. it was just suggested and felt right to us both immediately!

[myrainbowgirl]

Welcome Mabel! Choosing names is sooooooo difficult, we like traditional names, I'm thinking Andrew Thomas for this little one after DH but he isn't as keen!

I'm having a bad day 2day, got my anomaly scan this afternoon, although I've known gender for 4 weeks now we haven't old anyone, they all know we will be finding out 2day (text messages have started already) I've been happy keeping gender to myself, have needed the time to adjust, don't feel ready for everyone else to know. I know the scan is for the health of my baby and that should be my primary concern but I'm so nervous, scared generally crazy and not sure why?!

Sorry to be a moaning minnie especially when everyone is doing so well!!

I'm so sorry, 2lovely. I totally hear you on not wanting others to find out. I just cringe, knowing even well-intentioned people will say things that really make it worse. Ugh. I have a girls' night this week and know I will have to tell then...not excited about it. I need to pretend like I'm super excited, then maybe people won't feel sorry for me or won't know how to respond (so maybe won't say anything at all)!

[Mabel_79]

We were away all week camping at our sailing club for its annual social week and I had to tell everyone that it was another boy. In the end I decided to be honest and say- well, was hoping it was a girl but hey ho, then make all the jokes about my house being destroyed and being eaten out of house and home and how I'd be on first name terms with the A&E nurses- before they could get any in. The fact I was able to make these 'jokes' with a big smile on my face made me feel happier and 'think' it showed that while I wanted a girl I was fine with another boy. Anyway, think I did some good 'faking' it that week and definitely starting to feel more positive- like if you say something enough you can start to believe I yourself.
2lovely- hope all went well at the abnomaly scan today.
Myrainbowgirl - hope the girls night goes well. Xx

[Mabel_79]

Oxox2013- just seen your signature ticker- we are due almost at the same time! Xx

[EmmyRoo]

Mabel that's exactly what I'm doing, saying I'd have loved a girl but it's a boy, but hey, at least I've got all the clothes already etc etc. Lol re. Knowing all the A+E nurses names - my DS2 is THE most accident prone child I've ever known so we know A+E well! But yeah, that kind of response I think makes people say similar things in reply, they tend to say "yeah and you know what to do with boys" or "yeah and it's lovely for boys to have brothers". I can't stand the thought of being pitied, I'm so glad people seem to be buying my fake-positivity.

2lovely how was the scan? I'm right there with you, my gender scan is on Monday and although this is a secret one, it will kill off my last tiny hope that the nub, willy, balls and train-like heartbeat are all wrong. I do dread getting to my official scan on 19th, where I'll have to go properly public+will have people asking. I'm hoping by telling them now that I'm convinced it's a boy it'll lessen the comments.

Rainbow I hope the coming clean to the girls goes ok.

X

[2lovelyboys]

Hi Ladies, anomaly scan went well, all where it should be and performing as it should. In no doubt now that DS3 is on his way, had his bits on display as often as he could throughout the scan :)

Still feeling down today, I have accepted DS3 is on his way and can visualise this little man as part of our family but its the mindless comments that hurt, I know I shouldn't let them get to be but am feeling very vulnerable so it's easier said than done :(. My M & FIL are gutted, but my SILs are happy, not happy cos he is a happy healthy little boy but happy cause he is not a girl (they are both desperate for a girl)! Makes me very resentful! Feel like I am fighting for him already, want people to be happy with him for who he is ........booooo! Moan over (I hope)!

Anyway, now need to update my ticker I think :)

Hee hee on the A&E comments, never spent so much time in hospital since having my boys :)

[Mabel_79]

Glad the abnomaly scan went well 2lovelyboys. I bet that is a slight weight off your mind. I am still scared stiff that after the huge amounts of acigel and vinegar douche I used to try and 'kill off' the boy sperm that I may have in some way damaged this baby. Was thinking of maybe booking a 4D scan in a few weeks time to see if baby looked normal but not sure how much you can really see or tell fom those.
Well last night was the first night in exactly 2 weeks (since my scan), that I slept well and wasn't woken by horrible gender related 'nightmares'. So hoping the GD is subconciously easing a little.

My MIL is coming down on Sat whic I'm dreading- she has made comments right from the start about how she 'knew' I was having another boy. I was so looking forward to proving her wrong, now I will have to listen to her gloat (she is not a nice woman). My SIL is a real sweetie and has been so kind, but just doesn't 'get it' at all. Since my scan she has bombarded me with daily pictures of her bay daughter in cute outfits with captions like "even tho u are having a boy u can still buy cute clothes for me Auntie".
I know she thinks she's helping but she's really not but I don't want to say anything as she's so sweet.
Emmyroo- I will keep everything crossed for your gender scan on Monday- there is still a small chance that the early scan could be wrong and as for the heartbeat- my little lad has consistently had a hb of 160 that sounds like a galloping horse whereas my other boys were 140 and chuffing trains but the willy and balls were undeniably there at the scan!!
Right, well I'm being jumped on by two energetic boys who want to get on with their day so better go.
I am sure we will all be posting our messages of joy and love for or newborns come January so I guess it's ok to man a bit now (though my DH doesn't see it like that). Anyone elses DH not particularly supportive? Mine just says 'you can't get everything u wan in life' and even called me a spoiled brat for saying I wanted a daughter more than anything (well I'd like a bigger car and lots of money by u don't see me moping about) etc etc. I guess he will never understand, esp as he has been given sons.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Bel x

[oxox2013]

Yeah I am due one the 27th of December Mabel. Im thinking he will be here early tho. Just a feeling I have :)

[Mabel_79]

I'm due 1st Jan but had to be induced two weeks early with my last and consultant gave me 90% chance of needing it again. He actually joked with a smile "I'll see you on the 18th dec then".
Hated my induction compared to my natural labour but then again would be nice to get it out of the way before Christmas as naturally went a bit early with my first so wouldn't really be able to relax over Christmas thinking I might go into labour any minute!

[2lovelyboys]

Thank you for your support ladies you are great! Feeling much better this afternoon, had a bit of a rant to my mum about it all, weight off my shoulders!

Going to announce gender to my ILs tomorrow over dinner, planning a nice way to introduce DS3 is giving me something to get excited bout :)

I have had a few lovely texts from friends today so hoping things continue o improve! :)

How are all of you?

[Charlee]

I'm due 1st Jan but had to be induced two weeks early with my last and consultant gave me 90% chance of needing it again. He actually joked with a smile "I'll see you on the 18th dec then".
Hated my induction compared to my natural labour but then again would be nice to get it out of the way before Christmas as naturally went a bit early with my first so wouldn't really be able to relax over Christmas thinking I might go into labour any minute!

I was due with DS2 on 01/01/2008 and he was born on 12/18/07! So exactly the same circumstances :) I can tell you it was so nice to be home for Christmas... good luck! :)

[Charlee]

Ladies, so glad everyone is getting along better :) The comments about being totally honest RE "Yes, I wanted a girl but it's another boy and that's great because xyz..." are the PERFECT comments! I've found that you're reaction will speak volumes to others... sure they might think things about gender, but they will not DARE say it if you are acting upbeat. That's been my experience anyway. And stating the obvious "Yes I was hoping for a girl (or boy) but..." is great because of course you know they are thinking it when looking at your family. Of course we all wanted to experience both genders.... but your attitude about it will dictate what others SAY to you... and for me at least, that's what all I need at this point.

Come winter we will be posting pics of our new babies and none of this will matter.. trust me!

[myrainbowgirl]

Emmyroo - I agree, NT scans are not 100% (at ALL)...you may end up hearing pink! BUT, assuming your first scan was right, you are prepared and can enjoy seeing sweet DS again!

Mabel - Boo for your MIL's comments. Soooo insensitive. Other people just DON'T get it at all!! I know people are generally well-intentioned, but they many times just do not think before opening their mouths. Hope the visit goes well anyway!

2lovely - Sorry things have been a little rough lately. But so happy little man looks great! Ugh on your SIL's. So unfair. I just SO wish we had all heard pink and had gotten what we worked so hard for. Maybe that was our problem? Working too hard for it? I think you are the one who's mentioned all your obsessing in your sway, and I agree 100% that was MY biggest problem, too. Should we both have a little oopsie baby?? Maybe that will be the key! :)

AFM - Think I've been feeling a little movement the last couple days. YAY!! I was told at my 11-wk scan that placenta was "right in front"...so I'm assuming she meant anterior. Had the same thing with DS2, and barely felt movement till 18 weeks...so hoping maybe this time placenta is slightly off dead in the front so that I can feel things sooner. Hoping what I've felt the last day or two is the real thing!

[2lovelyboys]

Hi ladies, just had a lovely message from a friend and wanted to share!

My friend is one of four girls (her parents openly admit they wanted a boy), she has 2 girls, 1 boy herself. Just told her I am expecting DS3, she was very very excited for me, told me how extremely lucky i was 2 have 3 boys (!!!!!) and I have to agree after the lovely messages I have received today I am starting to feel very lucky and privileged to be expecting DS3 (just hope it continues!)

[Charlee]

LOVE the attitude 2LB! That's right! We are just lucky to be having babies... HEALTHY babies! And having all of the same gender is kinda cool... it's different than other families with a mix. We are known as boy or girl moms and that's something different than "Oh she has 2 girls and a boy" or whatever... NO. It's "oh you know, that woman with ALL BOYS".... haha... okay maybe I'm stretching but I'm trying to keep the positivity going here!! :)

[Mabel_79]

My main worry at the moment is what people think when they see my struggling with my boys.
My first is lovely, normal, high spirited boy. My second (hence the 4yr age gap this time) has been a challenge. It almost put me off having any more. He has been difficult since around 9 months. The amount of times he has just sat down in the road on the school run and refused to move, making DS1 late for school, just because someone has looked at him the wrong way, or I poured the milk on his cereal before he said I could or something. I end up carrying him kicking/screaming/scratchy/biting me all the way to school.
That's if he hasn't decided to run off in the other direction.
I know other parents look at me and think I can't cope with what I have so why on Earth am I having more. Thought a nice quiet girl would be different, but what if this boy is like my second. I might seriously end up in the loony bin.

Starting to get a bit worried about how life with 3 very boisterous boys is going to be.

I got chatting to a friends mother who had 4 boys in her quest for a girl before giving up. They are all grown men now, but I asked her how she coped. She said by ruling with an iron fist. She was very, very strict with them.
My parenting style has always been quite relaxed but think it's time to really toughen up. Hope I haven't left it too late to start being the disciplinarian Mummy!
Hope u are all having good days xx

P.s. Just won an ebay auction for the cutest bright turquoise chunky knitted cardigan/ hat and mittens set for new baby. Have started putting a bag together of a few new clothes for the new baby and have found some lovely, individual things that aren't the standard blues and greys you find in shops. Getting quite excited that I can dress this little one up in some cute outfits after all- you just need to look a bit harder to find things! Xx

[GeCon]

Just commented on another thread. Something that might seem trivial to others, but has been bugging me since I started buying things for DS1 and to be honest this is one of the things that keeps reminding me that I would have really liked a a little girl too.


Totally agree. Had an email from a well-known shop today: beautiful girly dress and some boys clothes in dark camouflage.

Just because I have a boy I do not want to dress him in dark, dull colours or camouflage.

*Argh*

So I was wondering, should we start a thread or maybe even do it in here if everyone is okay with it to share our cute and lovely boy shopping finds to show each other that there are nice boy clothes (and other things) around, it is just harder to find them?

Just a thought, let me know what you think...

[myrainbowgirl]

GeCon - YES!! I will have to go shopping this time, because my 1st three were warm-weather babies, and this one will be a winter baby! Very little I have from the first 2 years will work for this one...and a lot of what I have is stained and worn out anyway. So, yes, would love to see places to get cute boy clothes!

Mabel - I understand how you feel. My DS1 is my challenge. I totally ranted to DH last night about how awful his behavior is and how tough it is for me to cope with him. I find it hard being affectionate with him because of how difficult he can be. The other two are easy to love...DS2 is very easygoing and unselfish, sweet, funny, and so smart. DS3 is still a baby, is physically gorgeous, and is such a cuddler and kisser. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade DS1 for the world, and I love him to pieces, but he is HARD. I worry about what others think of my ability to handle another as well. Because, well...it IS a lot to handle. And boys ARE hard to manage when they're little. So I feel your pain!! I so wish things had been different for all of us, but I am trying my hardest to accept God's plan and move forward. It's tough, though! I can already say that I am MILES away from where I was when I first found out, though. I take comfort in that, knowing I will adore this little boy as soon as I lay eyes on him!

[EmmyRoo]

GeCon - brilliant idea! I'd suggest a separate thread though maybe, as this is kind of a general opposites thread, rather than a failed pink sway thread, so we have a few ladies who are having another DD after swaying for a DS, it might be hard for them to see pics of lovely boy clothes.

I get so annoyed in shops when there are 2 rails of boy things and then about 30 rails of girl things! I know girls have dresses and skirts as well as trousers, dungarees, shorts etc that boys also have, but come on, they don't need THAT much more space! I am so over blue as well. I think I'll need to get a few new things too cos a lot of my baby stuff is stained or worn out, and I think I'm going to set myself the challenge of trying to find things that aren't blue! It'd be great to see photos of other people's boy purchases though, it'll help us all get a bit more excited I think.

Mabel and Myrainbowgirl you are SPOT on with how I feel about handling my boys. They can be ok on their own, but together they are a nightmare, winding each other up and being naughty, so that when I'm out with them both I just feel like everyone is looking at me thinking "OMG, look at her, she's having another kid and she can't even control the ones she's got!". I am so reluctant to yell at/threaten/discipline them in public, cos I'm scared of other people's attitudes and how awful it can look, but that means I spend all my time hissing angrily at them and trying to drag them about without looking like I'm dragging them about, iykwim?!
The thing is though that yes, our boys are very hard work just now, they are (in my case) 6 and almost-4 years old, OF COURSE they're going to be hard work! They are balls of energy who are still learning how to be decent human beings, it's hard for them to behave ALL the time! I don't think people who tut or criticise see the longer-term picture, they won't be 6 and almost-4 forever, one day, sooner than we think or want, they will be young men and with luck, by then they'll be really nice, decent, good, kind young men who everyone will envy us for having produced! Lol!
One of my dealing-with-GD strategies is to focus on how my troubles with behaviour etc should be over in a few years, whereas those with girls AND boys will also have troublesome boy toddlers, but just when their boys are growing out of that phase, their girls will start hitting puberty (which is ALOT sooner now than it was when I was a teenager!) and they'll be into a whole new world of trouble. We just have to sit tight ladies and one day the hard stuff will be over and we can reap the reward of our lovely boys.

x

[GeCon]

EmmyRoo, you are right, I just took it from the title of this thread, but there are TTC Blue Opposites on here too now, so another thread would probably be better.

Any suggestions where to put it?

[2lovelyboys]

I soooooo hear you ladies both on the discipline and the clothes.

I have always been strict with DS1 (2.5yrs old), DS2 (13 months) is now starting to get cheeky so I'm having to guide/steer him away from naughty things but he thinks its all funny and a game, while this is fine as he I still young the problem I'm having is DS1 then joins in the game, is difficult to discipline then both but age appropriately, I don't want DS1 to think DS2 is getting off lightly, need to work it out before DS3 arrives or it may be a circus with my boys running riot! :)

I'm going to start buying new bits for DS3, the boys aisles are very depressing, inspiration is a good idea!

[2lovelyboys]

I soooooo hear you ladies both on the discipline and the clothes.

I have always been strict with DS1 (2.5yrs old), DS2 (13 months) is now starting to get cheeky so I'm having to guide/steer him away from naughty things but he thinks its all funny and a game, while this is fine as he I still young the problem I'm having is DS1 then joins in the game, is difficult to discipline then both but age appropriately, I don't want DS1 to think DS2 is getting off lightly, need to work it out before DS3 arrives or it may be a circus with my boys running riot! :)

I'm going to start buying new bits for DS3, the boys aisles are very depressing, inspiration is a good idea!

[Dreamofpink]

Gecon, I did set up this thread for dreaming pink opposites as there was quite a few of us at that point. However, I've no problem with TTC blue opps joining as I doubt there's a thread and there just aren't as many blue swayers as pink swayers it seems. Your idea for sharing clothing ideas is great though! I really hate how the girl aisles dominate the whole clothing sections in shops too :( However, there are some very cute boys clothes around.

Mabel, welcome to our thread :wave: Sorry to hear that your ds2 has been playing up for you. I've met some pretty horrendously-behaved little girls too, so I don't like to class boys as naturally naughty - high-spirited, yes! He'll grow out of it and it does get easier. My ds2 is 6 months older than yours and can be very contrary at times! Are you in the UK too? Is this your last baby for definite? The little cardi set sounds so cute, have you got any pics of it to share?! I love babies in knitted cardi's, hats, bootees etc!

2lb, that's a lovely attitude to encounter! You're very lucky. You can't help but be excited then, when someone else is for you! Your friend sounds like a very special person. I'm glad your anomaly scan went well. How's the exercise going?

Charlee, I'm sooooo glad that your scan went well too & your miraculous little boy is doing so well in there. Have you finished with your studies yet?

Myrainbowgirl, great to hear that you're coping a lot better now. I couldn't imagine ever being at peace with the news & getting excited to meet him when I first found out, but I'm pretty much there now after 6 weeks. It's as if it was meant to be now & just couldn't be any other way - literally, I know that's the case, but hopefully you know what I mean! It'll be strange having winter babies don't you think? I've been having fun buying lots of gorgeous little summer outfits in the sales as my two were born in April & May so nothing summery will fit this one come next year. I love knowing that I will need lots of snuggly warm clothes for this LO and am knitting like mad!

AFM, we're REALLY hoping that this is third time lucky with our house buyers now as we've had two agreed sales fall through in the last 3 months. We've just got to get past Monday's survey for the buyers mortgage & it should all go ahead fine. We had such a bad experience with our last buyers as the DH didn't want our house but his DW did. Instead of sorting it out between themselves before putting an offer in, they led us down a merry path doing a full-on survey then totally ripped apart everything that had been highlighted. The house is fine, in pretty good shape for one that's 50+ years old but they wanted us to give it to them at a ridiculous knock-down price & do work too! Urgh, people! Anyway, hopefully this survey will get a more realistic reaction & the couple buying will be quite happy, after all the work that needs to be done is only minor maintenance. As you can imagine, I've had my head up my arse over the whole move & am so fed up with it all. I'm desperate for us to move into our new house & get the nursery ready! Hopefully, we'll move around 24th Sept so there's lots of packing to be done! Is anyone else getting lots of BH? They're horrid when I'm driving & trying to change gear or brake!

[Dreamofpink]

Ooh Mabel, I meant to add names for ideas. I just love Rowan, great choice. Do you prefer slightly uncommon names? We tend to be like that & so far have Christopher Alexander - ds1 & Ethan James -ds2. In our defence we named Ethan before the huge popularity explosion afterwards! I'm blaming Danni Minogue who had her Ethan a year after us. :wink:

For this one we really like Isaac but can't agree on a middle name. I love Amias which means 'loved' but DH prefers Thomas. I love Thomas too especially as ds1 still loves the little tank engine - Thomas has been the number one toy in our house for almost 5 years! We'll wait & see what fits this LO. Anymore names ladies? I really like your suggestion 2LB, very distinguished!

[2lovelyboys]

Dream, house moves are one of the most stressful things someone can do and doing it while pregnant then trying to nest all within a time frame must be awful! Keeping my fingers crossed for 3rd time lucky! How you feeling?

Exercise is going well, trying to go 2/3 times a week, low intensity, no resistance but an hour of cardio at a time. I am feeling great for it :). I was starting to jog and hoped to maintain it throughout pregnancy but this little one is lying very low and the impact on the treadmill doesn't feel good so today I walked for 20 mins on treadmill, 20 mins no resistance on xtrainer and 20 mins no resistance on the bike while reading my book :)

[Dreamofpink]

Wow 2lb!! :bowdown: Your exercise regime sounds amazing! :D

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[GeCon]

I have started the thread here:

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/baby-child/33763-lets-share-our-beautiful-boy-clothes-finds.html#post461410

Looking forward to seeing your finds. :)

[Dreamofpink]

I'll be adding my recent purchases asap! Great idea Gecon :D

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[GeCon]

For this one we really like Isaac but can't agree on a middle name.

We both love Isaac and would have loved to name this one Isaac, but we already gave it to our DS1 as a middle name, so have decided to keep looking for another name for DS2.

[myrainbowgirl]

Emmyroo - Ah, yes, teenage girl drama! We will be avoiding that, thank goodness! My sis has 3 boys (aged 15, 12, & 8), but they have lots of girls in their neighborhood, and she says they all drive her nuts!! It's hard to imagine being in that place, where I'm truly GLAD I didn't have girls, but it will come, I'm sure! I think the hard work with boys is in the early years, which is probably why we all want little girls! :) (No offense to any of you ladies with girls, I'm sure our teenage boys will give us a run for our money in their own ways!)

2lovely - Awesome exercise plan!! Great for you! I'm sure it will help with all the pregnancy aches and pains and also with weight gain.

Dream - FX for the sale of your house!!

Mabel, GeCon, Charlee, & others - Hi!

Do you UK ladies have a store called Carter's (for babies and kids)? Their clothes are excellent quality and truly adorable (even for boys). (At least the boy baby and toddler stuff is.) I always shop there and leave happy! I will probably not shop much until I see the boy bits for myself, even though 2 very reliable tests (nub and MaterniT21) say boy...may pick up something here and there before then, and will post pics if I do, but probably won't buy much till after my next scan (Sept. 30th). I will enjoy looking at all your purchases!!

I'll explain on this thread (probably not on the others) why I even have the tiniest sliver of hope that the tests could be wrong. (And I REALLY doubt that they are, but here goes.) They found a subchorionic hemorrhage on my 11-wk scan. Read somewhere recently that many times a SCH is left from a vanishing twin. At the beginning of the pregnancy, I wondered if I might be pg with twins...here are my reasons. I had o pains on the left on what I consider to be o day, but then had them on the right the next day...and I remember thinking that maybe I didn't ovulate the day before. But my temps supported that I did O the first day. Thinking I may have o'd again the following day. Anyway, that's the first thing. Next, when I got my initial progesterone and hcg numbers back, my doubling time was really fast, higher than it's ever been (31 hours) and my progesterone was double what it was with my others (49ish). I was SO wiped out at first, I really needed to take a nap most days. (And I'm a pretty high energy person.) My belly popped out by 6 weeks. Both DH and I were REALLY wondering if there might be 2 in there. At 8-wk checkup, doc didn't see another baby, but I asked her could there be another, and she said it was possible the baby was hiding, but she didn't see anything. Fast forward to my 11-wk scan...there's the SCH. At first I didn't think anything about it, till I read that online post about SCH sometimes being caused by a vanishing twin. After I read that, I looked at my scan pics...and there is something IN the black area they are calling the SCH! (Looks like a small sac, with something white in it.) I plan to take the pic to my next checkup to see if my doc thinks it could be the remains of a vanishing twin. Oh, and btw, I looked up vanishing twins also, and apparently, twins can be missed quite commonly on early scans. SO, all that to say, a vanishing twin can skew the results of MaterniT21, as it can pick up DNA from the twin that didn't make it. However, baby's nub shots are definitely more boyish, and MaterniT21 detected a Y chromosome...so even if it was twins (which we may NEVER know for sure), it is much more likely that the baby that made it is a boy. But a teeny, weeny chance it's not. Again, TEENY WEENY. I wanted to share here, because I really don't want to say it on the other threads...I know people will think I'm crazy! I am still fully preparing for boy, and expecting it. I would be completely shocked if it was anything but. In the meantime, however, I think I'll just wait to buy stuff till I see his goods. :)

I am actually having a very tough day today. Have improved so much in the last 2 weeks, I don't know where it came from. GD has really been kicking my butt today. I had another rant to DH and a big cry...can't say it made me feel much better, though. Ugh. Tomorrow's a new day, praying it will be better. Gotta trust that God's plan is best!

[Mabel_79]

Hi, myrainbowgirl - sorry you are having a bad day. Don't want to give you false hope but also don't count your chickens yet. Everyone said mine was the girliest 'nub' they had ever seen. Combined with how I'm carrying, the fact I'm still so sick which I wasn't with my boys etc- everyone said I was having a girl- but those boy bits at the 20 wk scan were very clear. So nubs can b wrong. Although I hear the materni21 is generally quite accurate.

I spent the morning with MIL and SIL and her very cute baby girl. It has always annoyed me how much she does/buys/dotes on the baby girl while almost ignoring the boys. She accually says things like how she hates boy clothes and was so glad she got a daughter after two boys. But then I thought- do you know what. I am lucky I don't have a girl- because then I would have this foul woman who I can't stand, drooling all over my little girl. Instead my sweet SIL (we are married to identical twin brothers), has to have her foul MIL come and stay at her house all the time. (She doesn't like her either). I actually avoid it!

Annoyingly my husband told his whole family at the gathering today how badly I was coping and how dissapointed I was- even tho I told him NOT too, he thought it would be nice for me to have their support. The very last thing I wanted was their pity- I've been trying to act so upbeat infrint of everyone as I'm generally a really smiley person and hate showing my emotions. Grrrr. Why do husbands think they know best.


I have actually spent far too much money in the last week cheering myself up with some cute boy clothes purchases, I will put links up on the other thread later.

Xx

[EmmyRoo]

Hi ladies, sorry for lack of personals, will hopefully catchup later. Just wanted to say T-1.5 hours till gender scan and final crushing of my dream! I'm half terrified of finding something wrong, half excited to see him again and struggling with that infernal glimmer of hope that he's changed gender! Argh! I'll update ASAP after. :nails:

X

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy, I'll be thinking of you. Hope everything goes well & you enjoy seeing your sweet little baby again! X x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[EmmyRoo]

Thanks dream!

Well I'm back and it's.....110% boy! Not at all surprised and not overly upset yet, I get so nervous about everything being ok at scans now that the relief that all his bits are in the right place seems to eclipse the gender disappointment. I dare say I'll have a few wobbly days to come but at the moment I'm just glad he's ok.

One good thing is that I get to stay on this lovely forum with all of you, and I get to go to M&Co and buy those gorgeous boy clothes I spotted a couple of weeks ago!

X

[myrainbowgirl]

Congrats, Emyroo! So happy he's healthy! You sound like you're doing great...good job, mama!

[EmmyRoo]

Thanks rainbow! Here he is...

13715

13716

[myrainbowgirl]

Aww, Emmy, he's gorgeous! I gotta say that my DS3 is seriously gorgeous, too. It's funny, because literally when they laid him on my chest, I said to DH, "Ooohhh...just look at him. He's beautiful!" And babies are so wrinkly and funny-looking when they're first born! But he really was. And still is. :) I'm sure it will be the same for your DS3. :) Congrats again!

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy I'm so glad everything's fine with your darling little boy! He's so adorable in the pictures, I bet you can't wait to meet him now. It will no doubt take time getting used to the idea of another little boy but you'll get there & we're here to help every step of the way!

You're a very special Mummy to be entrusted with three beautiful boys and indulge all you can in the M&Co clothes - they're totally gorgeous! We lived in Scotland when ds1 was born & we had an M&Co in town. It was fatal especially when the sales were on as I just couldn't resist the fab little outfits. They last very well too & I can't wait to dress this little boy in the dungaree sets that I still have!

Have you told your boys about their little brother? I still have a pang of guilt about the tears I had when telling my two & my Mum (who was baby-sitting) when DH & I got back from the scan. Thankfully, ds1 totally mis-understood my tears and asked if I was so happy that I was crying. I shamefully said "yes, of course. I'm so happy that the baby's okay!" He's only just begun to get the concept this year that people can be very happy & cry too. Phew!

[Mabel_79]

Emmyroo, so glad baby was happy and healthy at the scan. A weight off your mind no doubt. Really sorry it confirmed that this is not your little daughter. I'm sure you will probably have some good and some pretty bad days now, but three weeks on from my confirmation that I was having DS3 I can actually say it's getting better.
I have started putting together a box of cute outfits for him- even a couple of really nice things. My first two were just dressed in Tesco own stuff as I worry about money, but then I thought what the heck. Seeing as I'm going to be saving money on clothes and toys by not having to buy girls stuff I would get a few nice things. Have got a cute Hatley babygro and a knitted cream one from Gap which will look so scummy around Christmas time.

Told 3 random people in shops today with a huge smile on my face that after trying one last time for a girl I'm having another boy. Seems the more times I can smile and say it the more normal it seems and the more I feel fine about it.

Still stumped with names though. The only one DH and I have warmed to, my MIL said she loved. Now she's said that I feel I need to hate it on principal!

Hope everyone is having an ok day xx

[myrainbowgirl]

Mabel - I love what you're doing...telling others you're happy, because I honestly think if you keep doing it, you'll believe it. Because, ya know what? It really IS great! It's rare to have children of all one gender, but it's special! We mamas will be the queen of our castles, and all our little princes will (hopefully) treat us that way! :)

AFM - Had an extremely tough weekend last weekend, but once again, DH was amazing and had just the right words to say. Oh so thankful for him! Trying to let go of my dreams at this point, and just trust God's perfect plan for our family. I know in my heart it's what's best. I know it will be a process to get over GD, but I am confident I'll get there.

Totally went shopping today! Unfortunately didn't have much time, but got a few cute little things, and am glad I am having my first winter baby so I actually NEED to shop! Woohoo!

[mindyjean]

It's been very nice and comforting to read everyone's posts and your experiences as we try to navigate through our feelings. I've had a few more negative responses from people finding out our gender, but have also had a lot of people think that 3 boys is pretty cool--so I just cherish those responses and those people and try to stay positive.

I mean, having a healthy baby boy is such a blessing when I see parents out there who can't conceive a child at ALL, or baby is born sick, ect. I have a friend currently with a child with cancer, so I can't even begin to feel sorry for myself when she's going through that.

I had a dream the other night: I dreamt about going through labor with this baby, and he was born a girl. The feelings in the dream were so wonderful--both DH and I were so happy in the dream, our 2 boys just loved her and were so surprised that it was a girl, people kept bringing us gifts of girl clothes since we hadn't bought any, and I kept showing her off to people in the hospital.................when I woke up, I just felt SO HAPPY, but then slowly started to wake up and realized it was a dream. I was so sad again. I am still sad when I think of this dream, and how much I want it to be true. :(

[zebaniee]

Hugs mindyjean. I understand how you feel, I am holding a glimmer of hope that this baby will be born a boy even though. Have had two scans that said girl.

I feel sad that my partner and I never got to feel the elation of finally having a son. I have already started thinking about going for a fourth baby but my partner has said no. The only reason he agreed to try for #3 in the first place was that I was so sure the sway would work...for a lot it did, but not me :(

[EmmyRoo]

It is so hard. I think the wondering why did it work for others and not me question is the hardest to work through. I can't see myself ever truly managing to get rid of this GD. Other people will always be having babies, whether they're my friends, my younger sisters, my kids, my grand kids etc etc, I will have to face people having girls for the rest of my life. I just hope that once this LO is born I feel that I am done with this stage of my life and am happy to move on to the next phase, a huge part of why we went for no. 3 was that I just didn't feel finished having babies yet. I just want to feel content and move past this onto feeling at peace with my family and able to enjoy our life together.
X

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy that's totally how I feel too. I don't want to be 70 years old & still feeling that pain of not having my own daughter. Grand-daughters would be great but just not the same.

I had a hard day on Monday when out on a home-ed day. There were loads of families there, the vast majority were mixed gender families. A lot we hadn't met before as it was a cross-county thing. Two families that I kind of know but haven't seen for a couple of years were there. Both were 3 boy families last time I saw them. One family has added ds4 & the other have twin boys due next month! So not only did I feel the petulant child that GD can be shouting "it's not fair!!" at me all day, but any hope I had was extinguished by seeing those families. They are lovely families and it's nice seeing their great boys, but it's not my dream IYKWIM!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[Dreamofpink]

Btw DH was joking about going on Ebay & buying a baby girl earlier. I said that all we needed was a trip to California! That will never happen as it's way out of our reach. The sensible me would feel like I had to pay off some of our mortgage if we ever had that sort of money. I just couldn't land us in debt for my dream. I'd rather keep going & fill our house with love & kids! Once this ridiculous house sale (on buyers #3 now) finally goes through we'll have a house with room for 6 kids if they shared 2 to a room but the challenge is my vba2c. I don't want 6 c-sections!! :) DH won't want 6 kids though lol!

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[myrainbowgirl]

Hi ladies,
Yes, it's so discouraging seeing other families. MOST families have both genders, and that will always be in my face. Almost all my friends have both genders as well. I am lucky that my sister has 3 boys (and they are done), so I don't have that screaming at me all the time. BUT, in the world around me, I will constantly be exposed to little girls, and the pain of not having one. It's so sad! But DH has basically said we'll just keep going till we have a girl...I cannot imagine, as this is boy #4 and I am 36. I really don't want more kids, but am happy that it's a possibility. Just not sure I want to. I am trying to find peace with all boys, would love to just be content with that. We've also talked about adoption and HT, but neither option really feels right at the moment. That could change...we'll see. Arrrgh. Just wish it had worked out THIS time.

I'm starting to tell more people, and honestly haven't really gotten any negative responses. The most common one was "Were you/are you hoping for a girl?" It's not negative, and honestly think it's not intended to be hurtful. The only reason it is is because it's a reminder of what I didn't get. So, I can't fault people for saying that!

For the most part, I am doing better, although I still have my moments. Got to hear baby boy's heartbeat yesterday at my 16-week check. A sweet sound, no doubt! My doc told me I was so blessed to have 4 boys, and I know she's right. :)

[Mabel_79]

Hi all.
Yesterday I had a really bad day. It's my niece's first birthday soon and my SIL has asked for cute clothes. Shopping for cute girls clothes is possibly the most torturous activity I think u could put someone with GD through. Came home feeling so sad.
But today I had an amazing day! My eldest was sick last night after one of his migranes so I let him have a day off school today (school 48hr rule for sickness and all that).
By mid morning it was clear we needed to get out the house as the boys were bouncing off the walls so took them to the local farm park.
It was deserted as most kids in school so we had the run of the place. They were amazing. So well behaved and watching these two brothers playing together was totally fab. Can't wait for their little brother to arrive and be part of it all.

In terms of all the 'were u hoping for a girl' comments, I now say as soon as I talk to people (with big smile on face) "we tried one last time for a girl, but it's another boy! It's going to be wonderful chaos in my home!"
Not much anyone can really say to that so not getting any negative comments any more (although one lady who is a mother of three boys and no girls herself just burst out laughing when I told her it was another boy)! ; )

[GeCon]

I had some pretty random stranger asking me if we knew what we were having, I replied not yet as I didn't really think it was any of her business. So she goes on how nice a little girl would be and I say with a smile: "yeah, it would be nice, but another little boy would be just as great." And she says: "Oh, but a girl would be so much nicer!" :hair: I was too baffled to respond anything more than "I don't think so."

[Dreamofpink]

Crikey Gecon, some people really need to engage brain before opening their mouths! Stupid woman. I think you responded very admirably & with dignity. I had one lady I didn't know rave on about how great my boys were in a pub play area, then when they told her they were having another brother she started to say how I'd HAVE to try for a girl again etc. She couldn't argue when I threw her words back at her saying that if this one is like his big brothers I'm one very lucky lady!

Mabel, it's really special having time with your boys like that. We love having places to ourselves & find holiday times a bit much sometimes! Sorry to hear ds1 suffers like that, poor thing :( I still have times when it hits me but I can't wait to meet this LO. I'm on a steep learning curve just now having to hand control over to DH & my parents who are helping us with our house move. We have a provisional date of 11th Oct when I'll be 32 weeks! We then need to decorate each bedroom before moving in. Nevermind I'm less than a fortnight off the time when we got to meet ds1 :eek: Ds2 was on time but I just don't know with this one. I thought he'd be late but with how active I am with packing etc he may come a bit earlier. I'm going to make a start on washing all the clothes & packing them in a suitcase kind of like a portable wardrobe for now. :)

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[myrainbowgirl]

GeCon - GRRRRR. That comment makes me so angry!! Why do people assume that boys are just so terrible? My DS1 & 3 are just the cuddliest, loving little boys, and my DS2 is the funniest, smartest little boy! They all bring so much joy! I'm sure my DS4 will, too, and it will be fun to see how much he adds to our family. Your DS2 will be such a blessing to your family...don't let idiots like that woman steal your happiness.

Mabel - So sorry you had a rough day yesterday. I have overall been better, but I am sure those bad days will happen on occasion. But YAY for your great day today!! Looking forward to those days myself! Starting to come out of my funk, and think I will probably start getting excited soon. :) Happy for you!!

AFM - Not much to report. Feeling more movement now, although still pretty subtle, since I have an anterior placenta. Asked my doc last week if she thought my SCH could have been left by a vanishing twin, and she really didn't think so. I had a feeling she'd say that! Anyway, all was good at my appointment, and my next one is the 30th, my big ultrasound. Those are always nerve-wracking! Not that I'm worried...but, you all have BTDT, so you know how it is!

[GeCon]

I think another thing that gets to me is this "society pressure" that when you have more than one child you automatically should aim for a set of one of each. Gender desire for a girl aside, even if I hadn't hoped for a girl, it would still annoy me that people just assume that when having more than one child, it "should" be of the other gender and having a child of the same gender is like second best. *argh*

[ilovebagels]

Thank you all so much for inviting me to this conversation!! I found out at a 14w emergency scan (everything is fine) that it's "most likely" a boy and it will be confirmed next Monday. I'm so glad I'm not alone.

[Dreamofpink]

No problem! I hope we can offer you some support & comfort at this weird, difficult time when your head says you should be happy you're having a healthy baby boy but your heart cries out for a girl. :heart: Glad your scan showed everything was well with your LO. Hugs x x

Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2

[ilovebagels]

I know this shouldn't be a factor but my brother is due at the same time as me and I am keeping everything crossed that they're having a boy, too (They don't seem to have a prefernece). I think this would help me a lot because It would be awesome for my little guy to have a boy bud to grow up with. So I'll be back to update in a week with happy smiley faces or some venting.

But I feel like all my hoping for them having a boy will clearly result in it being a girl!

[retrolove1]

Hi everyone

Thank you for inviting me :)

Thought I would introduce myself. I have two boys aged 7 and turned 5. Found out yesterday this is another boy.

He's healthy which is the main thing but at the moment I keep crying, a lot. Trying to hide it from OH and the boys though. I didn't tell anyone about the gender scan and not sure if I want to now. I can't at the moment without crying so will wait.

I will have to read through and get to know you all after work.
Xx

[myrainbowgirl]

Just wanted to say welcome, bagels & retrolove! I will come back with more later...please just know you are not alone, your feelings are normal, and it will get better. BIG hugs!!!

[EmmyRoo]

Hi ladies,
Sorry I've been MIA recently, it's been DS2's birthday so there has been the party, endless baking etc etc taking up all my time!

Welcome to the newbies, hopefully you'll find some comfort here as we all try to find our way together towards being happy as all-boy families. I'm at work and in a rush so this is just a quickie, I'll try and come back later for personals.

Just wanted to let you know that my 20 week scan is in 1hr 10 mins - not that I'm counting down or anything! Maddeningly, my stupid hopes are clinging to the completely impossible idea that the baby's willy has dropped off since the 18 week scan where the sonographer said "I'm not allowed to say 100%, but that is 100% a boy". WHY do I allow myself to do this time and again?? I'm setting myself up for a fall AGAIN, and I'm going to end up feeling GD throughout this last ever pregnancy AND at the birth when my hopes are FINALLY crushed when I see that he's a he. :hair: Sometimes I drive myself mental!

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing ok, I'll update after the scan. I'm not religious but would appreciate any prayers for a foetal sex-change please! :bigsmile:

x

[EmmyRoo]

Well I'm back and... DS3 is definitely on his way. *sigh*
He is perfect and healthy though so I shouldn't ask for more and I am delighted that he seems to be fine after last time. I'm just not quite there yet with the all-boy family/never having a daughter thing, hopefully I'll get there though. We got to see so much detail it was quite amazing, the lenses of the eyes and everything! It does help to know that he is healthy, I definitely still have an anterior placenta too which explains the lack of big kicks. Hoping he gets stronger soon so I can feel him all the time!

x