EmmyRoo
July 26th, 2013, 05:52 AM
Hi everyone,
Firstly :hugs: to everyone who finds themself here, it's a hard place to be.
I had my 12 week scan yesterday and was told it's definitely another boy. As you can see from my ticker, I have 2 boys already and had a loss earlier this year. All in all I've been swaying girl for a year now, with a short pregnancy in the middle. I have been concentrating so hard on this baby being safe and healthy that I hadn't even started working on how I was going to deal with finding out it was another boy. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with this at 12 weeks.
Here's how it happened, I'd really appreciate opinions on whether this really is definite or not, and advice on how to go about accepting it if it is.
When the sonographer was scanning about, trying to get a good position to take NT measurements, I think I saw a fleeting glimpse of a boy nub (sticking up with a bobbly bit on the end). I asked her if she could get a view of the nub, to which she replied "what's that?". I expected that she wouldn't have heard of it, so I said "the genital nub" and she laughed and said "oh no, it's far too early for that".
She then went on to look at the baby's legs and things, and went underneath the body and at that point she said "well if you're wanting to know you'd have seen pretty easily there" and I said "that means it's a boy doesn't it?" and she said yes and went back to the potty shot where we could clearly see 3 little white bumps, the central one being longer, that looked obviously like miniature meat-and-two-veg.
:sad:
At the time I was just so relieved that he was alive and growing properly and the NT measurements were small that I didn't really register any disappointment. I think also, deep down I have never believed that I'd be one of the lucky ones who would get my dream.
Last night though, I started telling DH that I was a bit upset that she blurted it out like that so confidently, when really, at 12+3 there MUST be a large element of doubt still. We ended up having a massive argument because DH says there was absolutely NO doubt it was a boy. I argued that, given the sonographer didn't know what I was talking about when I said "nub", and then laughed and said it was far too early to tell, she can't have known for certain that what she was telling us was boy bits, wasn't just the nub, which could be a girl nub? DH said she just hadn't heard of the term "nub" but she obviously knows what it is because it's her job. I said loads of people on this forum have sonographers who have no idea about nubs, midwives who have no idea about swaying etc, but he just thinks it's because forums like this are a hive of people who *think* they know stuff but aren't medically qualified so can't possibly know as much as a medic. I argued that medics can't keep up to date with everything, especially when gender swaying/desire has such a taboo around it. It's not a priority for them to know about influencing gender, nor is obsessively looking for gender clues something they are really meant to encourage.
I went to bed feeling really upset and p*ssed off with him for being so brutal about it. I googled images of girl potty shots at 12 weeks and there are some that look boyish, but it seems that when 12 week guesses are wrong it's mostly where someone has been told girl but it's actually a boy. It doesn't seem to be wrong that often when someone is told boy.
Has anyone here been told boy at 12 weeks and gone on to have a girl? Am I stupid to clutch at straws? Should I just start trying to accept it? I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me, I never truly expected a girl, but to say goodbye to my lifelong dream and the planning I've been doing for 18 months seems an impossible task. :tissue: Any help or advice would be gratefully received.
x
Firstly :hugs: to everyone who finds themself here, it's a hard place to be.
I had my 12 week scan yesterday and was told it's definitely another boy. As you can see from my ticker, I have 2 boys already and had a loss earlier this year. All in all I've been swaying girl for a year now, with a short pregnancy in the middle. I have been concentrating so hard on this baby being safe and healthy that I hadn't even started working on how I was going to deal with finding out it was another boy. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with this at 12 weeks.
Here's how it happened, I'd really appreciate opinions on whether this really is definite or not, and advice on how to go about accepting it if it is.
When the sonographer was scanning about, trying to get a good position to take NT measurements, I think I saw a fleeting glimpse of a boy nub (sticking up with a bobbly bit on the end). I asked her if she could get a view of the nub, to which she replied "what's that?". I expected that she wouldn't have heard of it, so I said "the genital nub" and she laughed and said "oh no, it's far too early for that".
She then went on to look at the baby's legs and things, and went underneath the body and at that point she said "well if you're wanting to know you'd have seen pretty easily there" and I said "that means it's a boy doesn't it?" and she said yes and went back to the potty shot where we could clearly see 3 little white bumps, the central one being longer, that looked obviously like miniature meat-and-two-veg.
:sad:
At the time I was just so relieved that he was alive and growing properly and the NT measurements were small that I didn't really register any disappointment. I think also, deep down I have never believed that I'd be one of the lucky ones who would get my dream.
Last night though, I started telling DH that I was a bit upset that she blurted it out like that so confidently, when really, at 12+3 there MUST be a large element of doubt still. We ended up having a massive argument because DH says there was absolutely NO doubt it was a boy. I argued that, given the sonographer didn't know what I was talking about when I said "nub", and then laughed and said it was far too early to tell, she can't have known for certain that what she was telling us was boy bits, wasn't just the nub, which could be a girl nub? DH said she just hadn't heard of the term "nub" but she obviously knows what it is because it's her job. I said loads of people on this forum have sonographers who have no idea about nubs, midwives who have no idea about swaying etc, but he just thinks it's because forums like this are a hive of people who *think* they know stuff but aren't medically qualified so can't possibly know as much as a medic. I argued that medics can't keep up to date with everything, especially when gender swaying/desire has such a taboo around it. It's not a priority for them to know about influencing gender, nor is obsessively looking for gender clues something they are really meant to encourage.
I went to bed feeling really upset and p*ssed off with him for being so brutal about it. I googled images of girl potty shots at 12 weeks and there are some that look boyish, but it seems that when 12 week guesses are wrong it's mostly where someone has been told girl but it's actually a boy. It doesn't seem to be wrong that often when someone is told boy.
Has anyone here been told boy at 12 weeks and gone on to have a girl? Am I stupid to clutch at straws? Should I just start trying to accept it? I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me, I never truly expected a girl, but to say goodbye to my lifelong dream and the planning I've been doing for 18 months seems an impossible task. :tissue: Any help or advice would be gratefully received.
x