Age and babies

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

It just blows my mind that at the preschool there are just so many mothers that are 40 and older and have prechoolers of ages 3 - 5 years old. One lady that I spoke to today has a baby boy who is a few months old and she has 3 girls. Her oldest DD is in college.

I want to think in the back of my head that I am 38 and if I had a baby at 40 or a little older it is fine.

I guess if I was trying naturally it would be so easy but I would probably have a 4th girl. I would never go naturally.

But with HT my age is a big factor.

I guess it just puzzles me that I see so many 40+ year olds walking around with their first child and in the HT world our chances are so low.

I do not know if this should go in HT or here?

I guess I am posting here because the women I spoke to today has 3 girls then had a boy for #4.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Maybe you'll get more answers on HT.
I think if you get pg easily, HT shouldn't be the problem? And they will make sure you Oed. You can improve your egg quality w/ FA and other boy friendly supps and improve your DH's sperm quality w/Co-Q 10 200 mg a day so IMO it will all boost your chances for succes.
Just my opinion.....

[HopingForPigtails]

I totally agree. I'm 36 but will be almost 37 if/when we do HT and I definitely feel on the old side. I have several friends, though, who tried in their 40s to get PG and it was tough - but like PP said, I think if you've already had kids prior to your 40s and you know your body can do it, you'll have a much easier time getting PG than if you were trying to conceive your first in your 40s.

BTW - I saw in your siggy that you had a VBAC after 2 Cs??? You are my hero! I've had 2 Cs and would love the idea of a VBAC on our third. Were you scared? I'm so glad there are doctors out there who allow VBACs after 2 Cs!!

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

I totally agree. I'm 36 but will be almost 37 if/when we do HT and I definitely feel on the old side. I have several friends, though, who tried in their 40s to get PG and it was tough - but like PP said, I think if you've already had kids prior to your 40s and you know your body can do it, you'll have a much easier time getting PG than if you were trying to conceive your first in your 40s.

BTW - I saw in your siggy that you had a VBAC after 2 Cs??? You are my hero! I've had 2 Cs and would love the idea of a VBAC on our third. Were you scared? I'm so glad there are doctors out there who allow VBACs after 2 Cs!!

In the High tech world though, over the age of 35 is tough for it to work with the desired gender.

In regard to the VBAC, what state are you in?

Come join at http://ican-online.org/ and the women there can help you with providers. However, now ACOG has changed it rules and regulations. A VBAC after 2 prior cesareans is allowed now.

Take a look and I am sure you can find other links also

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/725597

I had to fight and fight until I was pushing the baby out. I had a provider and when I was 34 weeks pregnant St. Vincents Hospital in Manhattan, NY was closing down. My ob would not give me a definate answer if I can still try the VBA2C. I took everything I had and I found a provider in NJ that supported me in my VBAC attempt after 2 prior c-sections. I got to the hospital at 9cm with my dh and my doula. It was brutal. If you want to know more about my vbac after 2 prior c-sections, let me know I can send you my birth story with all the details.

You can definately give it your best try. There are no guarantees, but I would try my best for a fair trail of labor.

I was torn because the gender and the birth was so equally important to me. I got my VBA2C, but now I am still obsessing majorily over not having a boy. The VBAC worked for me but HT may not. I was obesessed with giving birth vaginally just as much as I am with a boy. I find though out in the world Gender is spoken about much more than how you gave birth for some reason. My husband keeps telling me you got your dream VBAC and now you do not even appreciate it and you throw it away because of your new obsession with HT and possibly having a boy one day.

PM me and I can help you if you want or on ican they can also.

[Yuzu]

My youngest DS is six months old and was born when I was 42 and I'm 43 now and going for DD. One of the reasons I decided against HT is that they won't touch me at all if I don't use donor eggs. I have no problem with that ethically, but it is dreadfully expensive. I thought I could at least try for a daughter on my own and if I fail, well I'll look into other options then. I don't mind being an older mom; as a matter of fact I rather like it!

[Halah]

I thought I saw Dr. Potter say on IG that 40 was young in the IVF world. I'm 35 now but am planning to breastfeed for 2 years so I was worried about putting off HT, but seeing him say that was very encouraging.

[Lilian78]

I think you know your body best. 38 or 40 is old for some to have babies and not as old for others . . . but getting pregnant (no matter how you do it) is definitely harder the older you get. I think once you're 37+ there should be a good reason for delaying if you know you want a baby--a lot of people do have babies at 40, but a lot can't. And if you're going HT, since you're spending lots of $$, I think as early as possible is best.

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

I thought I saw Dr. Potter say on IG that 40 was young in the IVF world. I'm 35 now but am planning to breastfeed for 2 years so I was worried about putting off HT, but seeing him say that was very encouraging.

I would like to know if this is true? Very interesting.

[nuthinbutpink]

I thought I saw Dr. Potter say on IG that 40 was young in the IVF world. I'm 35 now but am planning to breastfeed for 2 years so I was worried about putting off HT, but seeing him say that was very encouraging.

30 maybe but not 40 for IVF. Not the same as trying naturally at all. The younger, the better your chances. www.SART.org shows the stats for success at each age group and 40 is tough for IVF. If you have the opportunity to do it earlier, I would highly recommend it.

[lindi]

Most of the women I know wait a very long time to have children, so 37-41 is average for a first baby I would say in my circle. However, much of that was IVF. If you're not cutting your odds in half by going gender selection, I have found women having a lot of success with IVF around 40. But GS is a whole different ball game.