Anyone else here not having any more children?

[Mabel_79]

My DH has decided to go for the snip- think he is worried I may 'trick' him into another baby. My Dad has also said he will disown me and write me out the will if I am so silly as to have any more children.

One of the things that has kept me a bit sane these past few weeks is googling PDG and getting information from clinics. I know in my heart this was probably never really going to happen. We can't afford another child let alone the PDG treatment and my age means it would likely not be successful anyway. But it kept a bit of hope alive and that has helped me with my GD.

Now my DH has decided to go for the snip it makes it so final. I really am saying goodbye forever to my dream of having a daughter. Feeling pretty rubbish today.

Anyone else out there definitely had/having their last baby and still don't have their desired gender? Do you secretly hope there will be a chance somehow or have you really learned to move on and accept things? Wondering if I will ever be able to do that?

Bel xx

[monkeysnuffer]

I'm sorry. I can't relate as I wanted a girl and am pregnant with one, but DH said this was going to be our last so if I didn't get girl I would have to give up my dream. I know how heartbreaking it is when you think of letting it go.

Do you think you could talk your DH into one more? I think it's kind of wrong he has it in his mind you will "trick" him. But I know if I beg and plead a little with my hubby, he relents.

Again, hugs to you...

[Beckey]

I think they usually request you wait until a "healthy bub" is born before they allow the snip? Just incase something were to go wrong with the pregnancy?
It does make it very final & I'm waiting for my husband to bring up the same as prior to us knowing the sex of this baby he had said exactly that.
At first it was just "we will have another one" and I started looking into IVF and found this forum which have me people to talk to. Feel down I always knew this was my last pg, but needed something to get me through the past few months. As time has gone on I know I don't want another pg, I'm getting older & it's harder on my body & if DH brings up another I live him so much for trying to mske me happy, but know our lifestyle changes to have 4 would ? Make us unhappy for the next 20 years-and who would want that!! Deep down I guess I hope I'm carrying a girl & perhaps they got it wrong (I know they didn't). But as each week passes ill be happy for this to all be over & just want my baby in my arms. Perhaps ask DH to not rush into it while you come to terms with it, and maybe you never will-but 2 months ago I didn't think I would feel this digferently either. I still cry at times, about the DD ill never have, but know deep down all I want now is to be the best mum I can be to the 3 boys I have. Best of luck with everything xoxoxo

[RKT Mama]

I guess I am slightly further down the journey than you as I have now successfully got my baby girl but I can relate to your story. We planned on 3 kids and after DS3 we both thought we were done. I got a Mirena (DH is too much of a coward for a vasectomy) and we started living. But DH saw my ongoing GD and eventually agreed to IVF/PGD which involved travelling across the world. When I arrived to have my embies put back in, the lab had buggered up and they couldn't identify the gender of 3 of the embryos and the 2 they could were abnormal. I landed up putting back 2 unknown embryos which killed the point of the IVF. I didn't fall pregnant but after that DH was open to trying again naturally, even though he wasn't convinced on the whole swaying story.

Long story short, I swayed successfully and got my girl. My parents were horrified that we had a 4th child (just imagine it had been a boy) but at the end of the day they are not paying for or raising our kids so their opinion is just an opinion. Life is certainly harder with 4 kids but hopefully it will be worth it.

Can you not convince DH on some form of long term contraception so you can't "trick him" and give yourselves a few years to make a final decision whether to try again or go for IVF?

[missingsomeone]

I have four boys and was just told my fifth is on the way! I am done!! We are not having anymore. My DH will be getting the snip. There is no way I will try for another and have 6 boys! We are DONE! I can't say that strongly enough!

[black&gold]

I'm pregnant with #3 and it's most definitely our last. We are team green so I have no idea the gender, but even if it's a boy we are done and I won't even think about another. I don't want a girl enough to want 4 kids. We would have loved to have one part of our 3, but if it's another boy I'll be fine moving on. I think it really depends on how bad you need that daughter. For me I know that it's just a want - and I know that even if I got one life wouldn't all of a sudden feel fully complete and perfect. I'm determined to be content with what we've been blessed with and move on (we'll see how that goes once #3 arrives.. maybe easier said then done!)

[1+2+3boys]

I guess I am slightly further down the journey than you as I have now successfully got my baby girl but I can relate to your story. We planned on 3 kids and after DS3 we both thought we were done. I got a Mirena (DH is too much of a coward for a vasectomy) and we started living. But DH saw my ongoing GD and eventually agreed to IVF/PGD which involved travelling across the world. When I arrived to have my embies put back in, the lab had buggered up and they couldn't identify the gender of 3 of the embryos and the 2 they could were abnormal. I landed up putting back 2 unknown embryos which killed the point of the IVF. I didn't fall pregnant but after that DH was open to trying again naturally, even though he wasn't convinced on the whole swaying story.

Long story short, I swayed successfully and got my girl. My parents were horrified that we had a 4th child (just imagine it had been a boy) but at the end of the day they are not paying for or raising our kids so their opinion is just an opinion. Life is certainly harder with 4 kids but hopefully it will be worth it.

Can you not convince DH on some form of long term contraception so you can't "trick him" and give yourselves a few years to make a final decision whether to try again or go for IVF?

My IUD is amazing, no hormones and I do not even realise it is there and they last for 5-10 years but can be taken out anytime you want.
My Mother is adament I am not having anymore, lol. There is no point in trying to talk to her about my GD because she got both genders and I have never been able to talk to her about anything because it is so awkward. I feel like growling at her "Maybe if I were able to talk to you I wouldn't have such a strong desire to try and create my own proper Mother-daughter relationship"
That might be a bit mean though. I fully intend to have one last one but if our financial situation does not improve it is totally possible we are done. It helps not to think about that though

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

My dh had a vasectomy this morning. I have 5 kids. I was really hoping my dd would have a sister but that was not to be. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I keep pushing the thought of it out of my head. I know when my 5th celebrates his 1st birthday it will be very hard for me. Life goes on, I just need to keep telling my heart that.

[3littleladies]

My third was suppose to be the boy, I had huge gd when I found out, but not anymore, she's a true blessing, Im so grateful that I have her.

My desire for a boy is still with me & I get moments when I will get sad if I see a women with a little boy, but then I just say to myself 'oh well wasn't meant to be' I will get son in laws and maybe grandsons & Im ok with that.

We are not having anymore, three has always been my special number & my girls sure are special.