View Full Version : IF your DH didn't want to know the gender...
monkeysnuffer
September 18th, 2013, 11:53 PM
would you not find out? If you did find out, would you tell him you were asking or just keep it a secret?
2bnaday
September 19th, 2013, 12:09 AM
I would openly have an arrangement where he KNOWS that you are finding out and will keep it a secret from him (AND from everyone else - otherwise it will sneak back to him and be disappointing to not be the surprise he wants). I feel like that doesn't lead to happy marriage scenario if you go behind his back. (says the person doing a secret pink sway when DH wants a 3rd boy - lol)...but this would be blatantly betraying something he asked for your cooperation in! Default to building trust/loyalty and being a team :)
3littleladies
September 19th, 2013, 12:39 AM
I wouldn't be able to keep that kind of a secret, besides my dh knew how much I wanted a boy, so when I couldn't stop crying I think he'd be able to guess anyway ha ha!!
My sister didn't want to know the gender but her partner did, so he asked the tech to write it down on piece of paper for him.
The Anchor
September 20th, 2013, 03:56 PM
DH did NOT want to find out, and did not want ME to find out with #2...he actually came to my u/s to make sure I wouldn't find out. I had an elective u/s at 19 weeks to find out...by myself :) I never told him I knew, and he still believes to this day that we found out the sex at his birth.
monkeysnuffer
September 20th, 2013, 05:48 PM
DH did NOT want to find out, and did not want ME to find out with #2...he actually came to my u/s to make sure I wouldn't find out. I had an elective u/s at 19 weeks to find out...by myself :) I never told him I knew, and he still believes to this day that we found out the sex at his birth.
That's awesome. I had a friend that did that. Her husband still doesn't know she found out but she told all her friends.
missmegrn
September 21st, 2013, 12:30 PM
Dh and I both wanted to know with both of our dds. The only way I would go team green is if we had a boy and a girl already so we would be prepared either way. In the future if I do get pg, if dh for some reason didn't want to know, I would have agree with him and wait. I know that if I knew and he didn't, I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret, and he would know I did something behind his back and it would cause an argument. If the shoe were on the other foot, and there was something I didn't want to do or dh to do and Dh did it, you better believe I would be livid and an argument would follow. Little secrets, don't go over so well in my house, even if it was meant as a surprise at the end of the day. Everyone's relationship with their spouse/partner is different though, so there's no real right or wrong answer I guess. I just wouldn't do it because it would be a respect and trust issue in my house.
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