Losing patience and hope...any successful swayers here who took 6 mon plus to get pg?

[missmegrn]

I am awaiting af now and trudging on to cycle #8 ttc. I am not trying to be dramatic, but I am starting to lose patience and hope of ever getting a son. I have no clue why it is taking so long to get pg. My obgyn won't send me to an r.e. until I hit a year of consecutive months of ttc. I have been ttc since dec 2012, but there were three months this year when ttc was impossible and to her those months don't count ( I technically don't count them in my cycle count either). DD1 took us a year to conceive but my cycles were all wonky until a few months before I got pg with her. DD2 happened the first month we tried. I am 28 and DH is 29, we both are in decent health. However DH is on antidepressants and narcolepsy meds (which he needs). Neither of us drink or smoke (he quit chewing tobacco a few months ago). I have hypothyroidism but that is controlled, just had that checked last week.

I guess I am just looking for some reassurance that this happens with successful results (either gender). I am to the point where I just want another baby and this wait is making me crazy. Each month that passes, the more depressed I get about it. Hopefully there's a few ladies out there who can offer me some reassurance.

TIA

[lovemy2blessings]

I'm sorry missmegrn I have been TTC since end of July so I understand :( I can't imagine how it feels to be on month 8. I'm also depressed, frustrated, sad and stresses at the fact that I'm either not ovulating or just having super looong cycles. I wish I could help, I just wish I could get my bfp soon. HUgs mommy :hug2:

[Trishy74]

I can't say I've been trying as long as you but in the past before I got preggo with my DS, I was trying for 10 mos. I was 36 at the time. My dr. sent me for tests on day 21 of progesterone and did a sperm analysis on my hubby. My hubby had a kidney transplant so I was sure he was the problem b/c he's on so many meds. However all of that came back normal. I then went to a fertility clinic and they tested my blood only to find my prolactin levels were high and my body thought it was preggo. Turned out a drug called Verapamil (beta blocker) which I was taking as a preventative for my migraines, was causing my prolactin levels to go high. I stopped the med right away and got preggo that month. Now it's 3 years later and I'm 39 years of age. I started ttc at the end of July and no positive yet. I too am getting worried b/c of my age. So I can relate to how you feel. I personally don't have 8 mos to wait to ttc without any testing due to my experience 3 years ago. I'm actually getting blood work done this weekend for my day 21 and am hoping either I'm turn up preggo this month or they find something wrong with me b/c my husband doesn't want to go through a sperm analysis again. I feel your pain..you are so lucky you have your young age though. Really, that is a benefit. I hope you get your BFP next time.

[halive04]

Dear missmegrn, I had to wait for around 1.5 years for my first conception to occur, and that was after perfectly timed cycles, ovulations every month ( though I have PCOD so I had to take clomid sessions ) and finally I was able to conceive after looong wait, patience n frustration IMMEDIATELY after the HSG test, since you already have two kids, I don feel you need to lose hope as yet, it will happen for you. If you have not considered the hsg, please do it now, it was a miracle for me , although it showed everything clear it still clear that "debris" may be and cleared my way through pregnancy.
All the best !

[Adia]

I am awaiting af now and trudging on to cycle #8 ttc. I am not trying to be dramatic, but I am starting to lose patience and hope of ever getting a son. I have no clue why it is taking so long to get pg. My obgyn won't send me to an r.e. until I hit a year of consecutive months of ttc. I have been ttc since dec 2012, but there were three months this year when ttc was impossible and to her those months don't count ( I technically don't count them in my cycle count either). DD1 took us a year to conceive but my cycles were all wonky until a few months before I got pg with her. DD2 happened the first month we tried. I am 28 and DH is 29, we both are in decent health. However DH is on antidepressants and narcolepsy meds (which he needs). Neither of us drink or smoke (he quit chewing tobacco a few months ago). I have hypothyroidism but that is controlled, just had that checked last week.

I guess I am just looking for some reassurance that this happens with successful results (either gender). I am to the point where I just want another baby and this wait is making me crazy. Each month that passes, the more depressed I get about it. Hopefully there's a few ladies out there who can offer me some reassurance.

TIA

Well, I can't reassure you it will happen with happy results, but you aren't alone. My Dh takes anti-depressants too and his sperm are fantastic because of all the supplements i have him on. I went to a fertility doctor for a work up and found out I had hypothyroidism too. Taking synthroid for a few months now. Losing less hair...yipee!

If you want to go to a fertility doctor and your obgyn won't send you, maybe to to a different obgyn and tell them its been a year and don't mention the non-trying months. Because of your age they may be more strict on the "one year of trying".

Don't lose hope. You are young and although we really want this to happen on our timeline, it just doesn't. Here I am 11 months after I started swaying and no good bfp (blighted ovum Dec 2012). I have tried so hard to get pregnant before I start the nursing program at my school because having a new baby, 3 other kids, a part time job, and nursing school is a recipe for insanity.

So I finally talked to Dh and we came to the conclusion that we want one more and we have to keep trying at our age or give up. We are giving up the angst, but not the TTC. If I get pregnant and have a baby in the middle of a semester, I'll make it work, I'm good at that. I can find nursing students who want some extra cash and can sit outside my class and hold my baby until he/she is old enough to go to a home daycare. I have figured out that I work better under pressure and having a new baby is the happiest pressure I can think of right now.

So hang in there and don't lose hope, you have no reason at your age to worry that something is 'wrong' with you or DH. I am sure as AS wrote somewhere on Gender Dreaming, we are just waiting for that golden egg, unfortunately we only get 12 chances a year to see if the eggs released are golden!

[atomic sagebrush]

Will they send DH before the 1 year mark??? That would be where i would look first and if he can get in sooner, then there are things that he can take to improve matters - some antidepressants are better than others.

Just between you and me, I'd start over again with another doctor and leave out the 3 months where you weren't TTC. Your doctor is sticking too slavishly to the rule of the law rather than the spirit - I'm sorry but if a person was TTC for 11 months before and then 1 month not TTC, it's ludicrous to expect that they'd then have to go thru another 12 months TTC to get one consecutive year, and that's basically what she's making you do - what she is saying is just SILLY and not sound medicine.

(Mounting soapbox) There is a not-small subset of doctors who are anti-big-family and for some reason quite a few of them become OBGYNs, and they are decidedly unhelpful to anyone who already has children. They let their personal politics affect their medical advice. And if that seems to be the case, then it may be time to move on and find another doctor.

[atomic sagebrush]

Will they send DH before the 1 year mark??? That would be where i would look first and if he can get in sooner, then there are things that he can take to improve matters - some antidepressants are better than others.

Just between you and me, I'd start over again with another doctor and leave out the 3 months where you weren't TTC. Your doctor is sticking too slavishly to the rule of the law rather than the spirit - I'm sorry but if a person was TTC for 11 months before and then 1 month not TTC, it's ludicrous to expect that they'd then have to go thru another 12 months TTC to get one consecutive year, and that's basically what she's making you do - what she is saying is just SILLY and not sound medicine.

(Mounting soapbox) There is a not-small subset of doctors who are anti-big-family and for some reason quite a few of them become OBGYNs, and they are decidedly unhelpful to anyone who already has children. They let their personal politics affect their medical advice. And if that seems to be the case, then it may be time to move on and find another doctor.

[missmegrn]

Thanks for your responses. I would be willing to have any tests done, but at this point between my age and the fact that I do have 2 other young children, my md won't refer me just yet. I really don't want to switch mds as mine has been my obgyn for 5 years now and has delivered both of my dds. I actually work as Rn on womens floor dealing with hysterectomies, fetal demises, pg under 20 wks, and just women in general. I see a lot of obgyns on my unit on a daily basis, and none really impress me enough to switch at this point. Going to another city/hospital is really out of the question since I get better benefits with my insurance and bill payment if I stay with mds who work for/with the hospital I work for. If I need to switch I am willing, but I really don't want to.

I am trying not to lose hope, it just gets harder with each month that passes by and I am still not pg. I know this is actually the case for some of us, which helps in the fact of knowing we are not alone in this, but it still sucks.

I will keep trying until I either get pg or I reach my 12 months of consecutive ttc, which is Feb/March of next year. I had thought about trying to postpone ttc but then I think about all the work I have done for it, and I just don't want to throw it all away just yet.

I know that there are other women in worse circumstances than me, so I try not to complain too much. Like I said it just gets harder as the months fly by and I expected to be pg by now and I'm not. For all I know, maybe my 2dds are all I am meant to have or maybe it's not the right time yet for another child. I guess I just have to put faith in the fact that what is meant to be will be, whether I like it or not.

Hoping that November brings good news for me and everyone else out there ttc. If it doesn't for me, I am sure I will be a crazy emotional mess yet again..lol.

[missmegrn]

DH has already talked to his md about some issues, and she doesn't want to switch meds at this point because they are working well for him with the emotional aspect of things. I plan to give it a go for Nov and Dec until I ask DH to step it up, as he has a lot on his plate (works 70 hrs a week, plus about 4hours of driving each day) so he could make more money and basically 2.5x his last salary. I am careful about what buttons I push because I don't want to ruin what time we do spend together. For all I know it could be him or it could be it just hasn't happened yet for some random reason. I am not trying to come across laid back about this, because I am not. I just want to have my ducks in a row before I start getting the train rolling faster I guess.

[missmegrn]

The problem with switching mds, is I already have a sneak peek at what is available to me and it doesn't impress me at this point. Surprisingly at least here, its a male dominated field (not that I am against male obgyns), but I am more comfortable with a woman md at this point in time. I may give it 2 more cycles and push the issue again, at least for further testing or for a referral and if she refuses to budge I will probably end up switching to male md.

[Adia]

I went to my obgyn and asked her to refer me to a fertility doctor. She wanted to take some preliminary tests and then 'sent' me to the fertility doctor. Come to find out, I didn't need a referral so long as I stay within my insurance plans 'perferred providers'. Is that the case for you too or do you need a set 'referral'?

[missmegrn]

I believe I would need a referral, but I am not 100% sure. I'll try to call tomorrow and see and what they might have open for appointments. With my luck, I'll need a referral and if I don't they probably won't have new pt appts until next year..lol. My insurance is tricky, it's a program based with my place of employment and there's usually stipulations to everything but the rates are better than most other plans and they give better discounts for using mds associated with the hospital I work for.