Gender Disappointment at 13 Weeks - Am I crazy?

[tiffanyclyne]

Hi ladies,

I'm new to this group, but I need some help. Last Thursday, I had my NT scan. I was 12 weeks, 5 days. The tech and the perinatologist guessed boy, 70%, by a potty shot. This is my fourth baby and I have NEVER had a doctor or tech guess this early. ESPECIALLY from a potty shot. I have wanted a girl SO BADLY - DH and I did everything we could to increase our odds of having a girl. Diet, timing, positions - every frickin' wives tale out there damn it! (sorry) This entire time I have thought it was a girl. I have been TERRIBLY sick every single day, which only happened with my first, which was a girl. My two after were boys and I was never sick, not once.

I know this may seem like denial and just gender disappointment speaking, but I can't help but feel it may be wrong. They didn't check the angle of the dangle, and I only got a BRIEF look at it and it looked parallel to the spine to me. I could be wrong - obviously I am no tech. But the tech I saw two weeks before said the only way to really guess at this stage is by the angle of the dangle, because ALL babies have a dangle. Everything happened so fast, I didn't have a chance to ask questions or get any clarification. Has this ever happened to you? Were you told boy at 13 weeks and it turned out to be a girl? Or am I just in denial and need to find a way to get over my gender disappointment?

I appreciate non-judgmental comments please. I already feel badly enough about my disappointment. Thanks in advance ladies.

Tiffany

[Petal]

Don't feel disappointed, we've all been there!! for a potty shot at 12 weeks all babies look the same! you need a nub shot at that gestation. For a potty shot id say 14/15 weeks is the earliest for any accuracy! don't give up hope, it may well be a girl, good luck x

[nuthinbutpink]

We have an entire site dedicated to people tgat feel like you. No judgement here. 13 weeks is too early for any certainty though.

[tiffanyclyne]

Petal - Thank you for your kind words. I guess I am just going so crazy right now because I never imagined it would be another boy. Which is so silly of me because obviously it's a 50/50 shot! I just feel like it's too early for a shot like that! I asked the doc and she said it's pretty obvious at this point, but I really don't feel like it is!

[HopefulMonster]

70% still means 3 out of 10 would be girls, and I don't think you can be even that certain when you're not even 13 weeks yet. I will cross my fingers for you Hun xxx

[sbowman]

My friend got a potty shot at 13 weeks and I think 4 days, that turned out to be accurate. But I think 12 weeks would be too early. There's many great guessers here that could tell you, if you have a picture.


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[tiffanyclyne]

I can't tell you how happy I am that I found this site. It has been so reassuring to find other women who feel the way I do about gender disappointment. SO MANY women keep this subject silent because they feel its taboo and makes them a bad parent. That they should say all they want is a healthy baby - which EVERY MOTHER DOES. That goes without being said. But healthy baby and wanting a specific gender are two very different things, and wanting one does not cancel out the other. I wish more women felt comfortable talking about it. Again, thank you so much for your insight!

[Petal]

I was disappointed when we found out ds3 was a boy, really disappointed, I went through weeks and weeks of crying and upset, even wished I hadn't bothered trying for a 3rd, but as the weeks went on I started to feel a connection, and the more people that said 'oh I hope its a girl for you' (I didn't tell anyone I knew the sex) the more angry I got, like they'd be gutted for me it was a boy, so I felt like it was me and my little boy against them all lol. When he was born I felt this instant surge of love, more so than my first 2 boys, our bond was so strong and still is 2 years on. He's my little buddy and I love him more than life, you will too I promise :-) x

[trifecta]

I think 13 weeks is too early to know for sure with a potty shot but the angle of the dangle was accurate for both my boys. I know you wrote the dangle was parallel to the spine but does this mean pointing up toward the face or down? Both of my boys had a dangle that was clearly pointing up. Good luck, I hope you hear pink!

[tiffanyclyne]

trifecta- I do agree - I feel like looking from a potty shot is too early at 13 weeks. She didn't print me any pictures - no potty shot, no angle of the dangle. She didn't even LOOK at the angle of the dangle. When she was measuring the length of the baby, my husband and I were looking for it and we feel that it didn't angle up at all. We feel it was pretty straight forward. But we could be wrong. She didn't spend any time on it and we are not experts by any means. :suprise: I have an elective ultrasound scheduled for Nov 7th. I will be 16 weeks so we should have our answer then. HOPEFULLY! :pray:

[3littleladies]

GD really stinks & I wish it never existed, but in saying that it is real and so many of us go through it, but like you said we just keep it quiet.

You're probably worrying for nothing, because you probably do have a little wee lady in there.

[tiffanyclyne]

GD really stinks & I wish it never existed, but in saying that it is real and so many of us go through it, but like you said we just keep it quiet.

You're probably worrying for nothing, because you probably do have a little wee lady in there.

My husband is in the same boat as you. He agrees that there is probably a girl in there. I don't know - I guess I feel like it will never happen because I want it so badly so it's hard to believe.

And you are right. GD does exist. I wish more women spoke up about it so it wasn't so taboo. I had to explain it to my mom in a way she could understand. I told her to imagine that she fell in love with a house, pictured her life there with her family, she did everything she could to get the house, put in an offer, and it was denied. HOWEVER, she got her second favorite house. She's still SO HAPPY she has the house, but now she has to deal with the disappoint and let go of the idea of having the house she really wanted the most. I don't understand why it's so hard to understand or why people equate being disappointed with not being happy or thankful for the pregnancy. They are two different things. Human beings are so incredibly multifaceted that we can feel more than one thing at a time.

[The Anchor]

12 weeks is too early for a potty shot. Even a nub shot is JUST A GUESS, don't give up hope, this may be your little girl. And everyone "gets it" here...these forums were built on the concept! Good luck to you :)

[Waiting4Daisy]

Far too early to judge by potty shot. Lots of ladies here received an early boy guess from a potty shot so early and ended up having a girl. I wouldn't put any stock in a guess from someone who thinks a potty shot do early could be accurate.

[Funkyfry]

Tiffany it is very early! I hope you have your baby girl cooking in there x

[monkeysnuffer]

Did you ever find out? Hope you got your girl