Leokat
November 12th, 2013, 10:00 AM
Hello everyone
I've never posted here before, but thought that I would share where I'm at. I had my first baby, a boy in December 2012. He is the love of my life! Before I found out he was a boy I had always wanted a baby girl first due to family reasons - my mother and I are extremely close since she brought me up alone since I was 10, and my 3 older brothers have been very rebellious to say the least...addictions etc which have lasted from teens till present. Anyway, when ds1 was born, DH and I decided we would like our kids close in age and started trying again in the summer. I was very keen for a girl this time so decided to try a 'light sway' by cutting out certain foods (meat, salt,potatoes etc) and we decided to try a couple of techniques such as for one month then abstain the next. Being unsucessful Iin getting pregnant I dropped the tequniques and low and behold got pregnant! I was sure this was a girl, from dreams that I'd had, to accidentally referring to it as 'she/her'... Well as you can guess at my 16 week scan 2 weeks ago I found out that it was infact a he. I cried for a week pretty much, and only DH and my mother know the sex if the baby as I'm too scared to let anyone else see/ know how I feel! I feel robbed of my daughter and I'm so scared that I'll never get that relationship... I know I will learn to get over this and learn to get excited about this pregnancy soon, but it's so hard! In the last week . I have heard of 4 baby girls being born and it sets me off ever time. I just can't help thinking that if I want something so badly then it means that it will never happen, iykwim? Im scared to try for a 3rd now too - I also think on my mum with her 3 boys and freak out! I know it's 50/50 but you have dreams if a family and it's hard when it's opposite to what you expect...
Anyway sorry for my rambling on, just thought I would let it out and you ladies seem like a lovely lot.
Xxx
I've never posted here before, but thought that I would share where I'm at. I had my first baby, a boy in December 2012. He is the love of my life! Before I found out he was a boy I had always wanted a baby girl first due to family reasons - my mother and I are extremely close since she brought me up alone since I was 10, and my 3 older brothers have been very rebellious to say the least...addictions etc which have lasted from teens till present. Anyway, when ds1 was born, DH and I decided we would like our kids close in age and started trying again in the summer. I was very keen for a girl this time so decided to try a 'light sway' by cutting out certain foods (meat, salt,potatoes etc) and we decided to try a couple of techniques such as for one month then abstain the next. Being unsucessful Iin getting pregnant I dropped the tequniques and low and behold got pregnant! I was sure this was a girl, from dreams that I'd had, to accidentally referring to it as 'she/her'... Well as you can guess at my 16 week scan 2 weeks ago I found out that it was infact a he. I cried for a week pretty much, and only DH and my mother know the sex if the baby as I'm too scared to let anyone else see/ know how I feel! I feel robbed of my daughter and I'm so scared that I'll never get that relationship... I know I will learn to get over this and learn to get excited about this pregnancy soon, but it's so hard! In the last week . I have heard of 4 baby girls being born and it sets me off ever time. I just can't help thinking that if I want something so badly then it means that it will never happen, iykwim? Im scared to try for a 3rd now too - I also think on my mum with her 3 boys and freak out! I know it's 50/50 but you have dreams if a family and it's hard when it's opposite to what you expect...
Anyway sorry for my rambling on, just thought I would let it out and you ladies seem like a lovely lot.
Xxx