Super simplify please!

[from2to3]

Hello! My husband and I always only wanted two kids...however every time we plan on doing something to make if official we chicken out, and keep thinking about a third child, though we don't know why. Long story short...we decided the only way to stop doing that is to try to have a third. We are going to try this month and if it happens, it was meant to be, if not then we are ok with two. We would desperately like a girl this time, if there wasn't a chance we probably wouldn't go for it. Both times before we conceived the first time we tried (very blessed I know). Mainly trying to pray about this one!

My dilemma is...I am getting SO MANY mixed info on how to conceive a girl. I understand the whole try 2-3 days before you ovulate, shallow, warm up the boys beforehand, etc. But the diet is so contradictory everywhere I look! What I gather, you eat as much calcium and magnesium as possible, and avoid high sodium and potassium. My problem is...I am not a nutrient reader and when people talk in mg's and cals and g and all that I lose interest quickly. I just need to know WHAT to eat not the nutrients.

So...this is what I'm doing and please tell me if this is terribly wrong. I am taking calcium/magnesium supplements. I am drinking more whole milk (anything less makes me gag, I can't choke it down), eating yogurt and greek yogurt, drinking kefir probiotic milk smoothies, choking down cranberries, drinking cranberry/apple juice (8 oz), eating strawberries, celery, almonds, lots of salad, spinach wraps, etc. I am trying this week to wait as long as I can to eat breakfast and only drinking one cup of coffee with creamer. I can't wait too long or I get shaky and weak. I am upping my cardio this week and avoiding strength training - but do I do cardio the 2-3 days before O or will all the tadpoles come out?? I am not a dieter so this is extremely hard for me. I eat a lot of food a day, otherwise I get really shaky. Luckily right now I am 5'5 and 124 lbs so I don't think weight is a huge deal for me.

What meat can I eat in moderation? We are a country family and meat is part of our everyday diet, as well as potatoes lol. I can't do douches...never have and don't want a yeast infection or something. I don't have ph strips and not ovulation predictors. To me, you have to draw the line somewhere. When we conceived our boys I was off BC for three months so this time we are trying right away to do everything opposite (just had my first reg period was a lot heavier/longer). I usually have a 31-32 day cycle - this one was 32 but on pill I was obviously consistent 28. So...we going to 'try' on days 12-15 just in case it's off a bit. (I used to try on day 18 and got it right apparently).

I get conflicting info about beer? Anyone know? The hardest thing is that when we should try is right at Thanksgiving. Thursday with one family and Sat with the other. We always have turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes..which of these is best? I am going to try to sneak in cranberries that day and eat yogurt for breakfast and take supplements....

We are older this time which I heard helps (32/30 vs 25)

Wow...this is really long! Sorry! Any help would be greatly appreciated!!! Sounds like a few of you are very knowledgeable on the subject!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

just wanted to let you know I've seen this, it's a bit longer than I have time for this am so will get back to you ASAP (please bump up if I don't make it back within the next day or so)

In my signature below there is a link to the complete index (you have to copy/paste it into your browser bar) and that has tons of essays in alphabetical order about various topics.

[from2to3]

Ok, thank you so much! I forgot to add, I am going to buy this crystal light stuff I hear about and drink that. Also, with my boys I took prenatal vitamins beforehand and am not this time. I know there is conflicting info out there about these, but don't want to take chances missing a needed vitamin/mineral for a growing baby! Does my husband follow the same thing or would it have the opposite effect on his sperm? Not that I can get him to follow a diet lol!

[The Anchor]

You're getting conflicting information because IG and GD are two gender swaying sites with different philosophies. You can't really combine the two, you have to figure out which method hangs together/makes sense to YOU.

All of the information you need to sway girl according to this site is here:
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/23588-ttc-girl-library.html
In a nutshell, there isn't any super simplifying...you have to start reading and figuring out what things you want to do for your sway. And if you find it all a little overwhelming, I would highly suggest getting a personalized plan from Atomic...we've been having a lot of success with them! GL!

[from2to3]

Yes, a little overwhelming lol. I would love a personalized plan, I'm assuming you are talking about atomic sagebrush? She said she would get back to me.

My problem is...we've fooled around so long that we only have a few days until we start trying. I also don't have a lot of time (children, work, etc) to read a lot of essays. I did read most of the FAQ one and that helped a bit.

I happen to take zyrek for allergies anyways, but have weaned off the past week because I don't want to completely hinder our chances of conceiving...esp if we are on a tight schedule and his swimmers have to survive for a few days. But this is saying I should take it?
Is Folic Acid recommended because it's good for babies or it's actually a girl sway? Since we are on a tight schedule I might have to skip a certain diet and just eat as healthy as I can, while not being such a pig :)

One more thing I thought of and I'm a little nervous about. The last two times we started trying, I got off a high dose birth control about three months ahead of time. Like I mentioned beforehand my cycles was around 30-32 days. Last year I tried a lower dose pill and when I took a month or two break (spotting issues) I started around 25-29 days. I got back on a high dose (estrogen) pill because we thought we determined we were done and I was having spotting issues. Now I got off this (for lots of issues), my first cycle was 32. Could the higher estrogen I just got off screw up my system and sway boy?

[The Anchor]

Yes, antihistamines dry up CM and are thought to sway pink.

FA for ANYONE who is TTC...it prevents neural tube defects. I don't think BC in and of itself sways (obviously!) but I think if you just come off of them and then TTC like the next month it sways pink. That is a BIG "I think", we are getting newer information all the time and sometimes I can't keep up! :)

[from2to3]

Thank you!! I actually have been prescribed Xyzal for allergies but had to quit taking them because they made me so sleepy during the day, even if I cut it in half. So I actually have the generic for Zyrtek that has 10 mg Certirizine HCI in it...hope this is the right stuff. From what I understand, take it until you ovulate and then stop taking it.

I got some Crystal light....didn't realize there was so many flavors! I hope flavors don't matter, I stayed away from the green tea ones but got a variety pack with lemonade, raspberry lemonade, and fruit punch.

Could someone clarify skipping breakfast and no snacks? I have been doing my best to skip breakfast though sometimes mid morning I have to have a yogurt or drink kefir, or choke down a couple cranberries. But does this mean I can't drink juice or milk also? What exactly does no breakfast and no snacks mean? Ha ha the thought is so crazy to me, I've always ate breakfast AND a mid morning snack!

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok I'm back LOL.

Yes, there is a fair bit of conflict in your post between an old-skool sway and then the stuff that I recommend based on the Trivers Willard hypothesis and Maternal Dominance hypothesis. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7507-ig-vs-gd-swaying-whats-difference-who-atomic-sagebrush-anyway.html I'm going to go over it one thing at a time, please let me know if anything is unclear.

Personally, when I read someone say something like, "i desperately want a girl" it makes me nervous for you guys to just go ahead and TTC because I don't want you to have regrets...but that is of course your call to make!

1)Timing doesn't sway and we have been getting darn good results with one attempt at positive OPK, either with or without frequency. It's possible to get pg with cutoff timing when you AREN'T swaying, but it's really hard when you're doing stuff to sway. I really don't recommend timing and you can read the reasons why here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

2)I have a different diet that is NOT based on the cal-mag stuff. You can read about that here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html We are getting good results without the cal-mag and some people who got opposites with the cal-mag (like me) have had successful sways without it.

The case against calcium and swaying is here (this is a 3-parter, read all three esp. the last one.) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/610-calcium-conundrum-controversial.html Since you've already DONE the cal-mag this is a bit like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped but I do want you to have the info.

3)It's best to have started the intense cardio and dropped strength training further in advance, more like 6-8 weeks rather than one week before. It's fine to exercise after your attempt, sperm can swim and they don't "fall out"

4)I recommend against any meat but you're so close before attempt I doubt it's going to help a whole lot to drop it at this point.

Re potatoes, I think they're perfectly fine, there are NO "boy foods or girl foods", there are just foods with more nutrients than others, and potatoes really aren't that high in nutrients when compared with a steak LOL. I ate tons of potatoes when I got my daughter.

My husband wouldn't sway so I would just make a normal meat-potatoes type of dinner and I'd just eat the potatoes or whatever other side dish I made.

5)I don't recommend douching or testing with pH strips anyway.

6)I DO recommend OPK tests because we're getting good results with one attempt at positive OPK - it's best odds of conception with one attempt and swaying. It's totally up to you of course, and since this is a bit of a "hurry up offense" here it does make some sense to proceed with your plan to try cutof ftiming, because you may not even really WANT to have a BFP this month. I really, really recommend doing one attempt though and not several like it seemed like you are thinking about.

If you don't want to do OPK, a compromise is to have an attempt every 4 days and that way you'll be in with pretty much one real attempt no matter when you ovulate.

7)Coming off the BCP may help your sway so that's all good. I really do urge you to do either hte OPK method or the every 4 day method rather than having a bunch of attempts though. We';re getting great results with one attempt.

8)I believe alcohol sways pink and I was enjoying beer when I got my DD. The people who say it sways blue have no evidence to back it up, they are only going off of claims that alcohol raises estrogen and not any actual data demonstrating anything about gender ratio. Estrogen swaying blue has never even been proven to begin with.

9)Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. When it comes to holidays, if you're strict on diet most of the time it's fine to cheat. Or, you can just eat side dishes and leave the turkey due to its high protein levels.

10)Eating cranberries does not give you enough cran to accomplish anything. If you want to include cranberry it has to be the concentrated supplement form. I personally am not a super huge fan of cranberry supps for gender swaying and you can read why here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/7086-how-lower-ph-via-supps-cran-baby-aspirin-aspartame-other-techniques.html

11)Being older doesn't mean being 32. You are still in the prime of fertility and that is not going to sway pink for you.

12)Re Crystal Light, please keep to the sane levels of 2-3 12/16 oz. servings a day and no more than that. Don't do the crazy levels that they recommend on some of the other sites.

13)Husband does not need to do diet, if he were willing to give up/cut back on meat that can help but doesn't sound like that is an option. Some gals have given their husbands 450 mg licorice root 3x a day for 14 days starting the first day you get your period. You will be a little late to begin this now but even if you can get him to take it only a few days it may help. Do not have him take the LR longer than 14 days and if he has any history of high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney/liver problems, don't use the LR. You can use peppermint tea instead of LR 3 - 3 strong cups per day allowed to steep for 5 minutes before drinking.

Soymilk is also an option. But if he won't do these things that's ok, my hubby wouldn't do anything either.

14)I would NEVER EVER tell you guys to do things that I do not believe are fully safe. Be sure you are taking 1200-1600 mcg folic acid and there is a full explanation of the lack of prenatals and safety here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/24628-le-diet-faq.html

[atomic sagebrush]

15)Yes cetirizine is perfect for swaying. Stop it the day BEFORE ovulation if you can, because the egg needs good fluid to move through. Stay off it till BFP if at all possible.

16)Crystal light flavors don't matter, some people want to avoid the tea

17)Strictly speaking, in the morning, you should have NOTHING containing any sugar or carbs. So no juice, milk, yogurt, kefir, cranberries (eating cranberries does NOTHIGN for your sway and actually adds nutrients)

skipping breakfast means you can have coffee or diet drinks and other than that you just push back your first meal as long as you can. You can still eat 3 meals a day (I did), you just fit them into the rest of the day. Avoid snacks between meals.

18)I did want to add an advertisement, normally I don't go over people's sways in this level of detail unless they are Dream Members - please consider a Dream Membership, the $$ goes to support the site and also enables me to do this as a job instead of having to go to work! :) thank you!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Re higher estrogen possibly swaying boy, first of all that's never been proven. And secondly, BCP mess up the cervical crypts that produce EWCM and we believe it's the EWCM itself that is swaying and not the estrogen in and of itself. I think coming off BCP is a good pink sway tactic for at least the first month coming off them and possibly longer than that.

If you're really on a super tight schedule, I don't normally have people use antihistamine with coming off BCP and certianly not with timing...the reason I was going to let you do that was because you haven't been on diet or anything and I thought maybe it might be ok to get BFN. But if you really do need to get pg this month, leave the antihistamine out because it's going to cut odds of conception too far.

Folic acid is because unlike most of the stuff in prenatals, it is MANDATORY for baby's health and safety, and your body cannot store it in adequate quantities like it does many other nutrients. 1200-1600 mcg folic acid throughout the first trimester (once you get pg you adjust this to include the amount in a prenatal) and then after the first trimester is over, you gradually wean off of it.

[from2to3]

Oh my, I wasn't expecting all that! I need to explain this post first. I came across someone's post when I was doing some searching on the internet. It took me directly to someone's post and when I got back out of it, it was a forum of everyone asking questions about ttc a girl. So, that's when I wrote my post. I had no idea it was this huge website that had so many links and a wealth of information, or that you are actually the one that came up with the LE diet. I thought it was a website that just talked about everyone's options and experiences and a help place! Sorry! Some of my questions ended up getting answered later. As stated, I am pretty busy and don't get a lot of time to sit at the computer and read everything...sorry :( I really wish I would have stumbled upon this website a lot sooner! I am a person that is really big on referrals from personal experience and will be referring some ladies I know that would like to 'sway'! :) (Already have one in particular, she's very interested) And if it's not too late for me, I will become an official member (thought I was one when I 'signed' up lol) if we decide to keep trying. Either way, if we do get pregnant I will offer all my techniques and fill out that spreadsheet regardless of the sex.
Second, I would never try to conceive a child just to get a certain gender. That is why we have been so back and forth the past year or two - as per my post "To have or not to have three". We wanted to make sure we really wanted three children before we would dare proceed....it would just be awesome if that third child was a girl!
Mainly I am just trying to do everything opposite of when I had my boys. So, I'm sure to you - being more experienced and more background in all this - nothing I am doing is probably making sense ha ha! I posted in the 'how we got our boys' post to try to give any feedback. I exercised a lot before my DS1, not so much before DS2 due to knee surgery. I ate a lot of meat, and basically just have a hearty appetite. I wasn't getting a lot of milk or yogurt except the occasionally bowl of cereal or small glass of milk. I had to get blood work every year per my job and I've always had low sodium and glucose, calcium, potassium mid range. Mainly with my DS1, we abstained until I was certain I was ovulating, I layed there afterwards and then we got it on the first shot. DS2 we tried to do the 2 days before, but when I knew I was ovulating chickened out and did it again because we wanted to get pregnant. Layed there again. That is why we were thinking to do everyday or every other day and quit a couple days before.
However, since before I was off bc pills at least 3 months beforehand I knew my cycle really well. This time, I've only had one period and getting a little confused. I bought those OPKs I've heard about and you recommended to me...but now I don't know what to do. The holidays with both families and a birthday party screwed me up. We were BD every other day (got too busy for every day) I had a neg on Fri so we BD. Was going to keep BD until I got a faint line on OPK but was at family's house on Sat so couldn't test. Sunday tested and the test line was only slightly lighter than reference line - which per my test says it should be negative. So we abstained last night. I was getting some cramps, not sure if that was uterine or from increased food consumption. I also was getting feeling in breasts, can't describe it. But I shouldn't have been ovulating if the test was showing lines? I heard it will go back to negative when you really are ovulating. But this would be ovulating a lot earlier than I would expect with my natural cycle. I am pretty achy down there today, but like I said it could be bowels. ? And, my coffee is leaving a terrible after taste ?
Also, started temp, on Tues it was 96.8, W 96.8, Th - couldn't because son got up, Fri 96.3, Sat 97.8, S 97.4, today 96.9. Got freaked out b/c I heard you have a slight dip right before you O then it raises. That would have been WAY early for O. Don't think I can go by this though because OPK was Neg and Sat and S I was awake for awhile but tried to just lay there and go back to sleep. (DH finally got to sleep past 4:30 and didn't want to wake him with my loud therm).
Anyways, I'm all confused now. Just don't want to BD right at ovulation b/c that's what I did when I got my boys. If I still had swimmers up there from 2-3 days ago, wouldn't those get to the egg before the 'new' swimmers?
I have been skipping breakfast though, quite proud of myself!! Lol. I eat supper around 5:30 - 6 then nothing for the rest of night (maybe a piece of chocolate) then only have coffee with creamer about 7:30 and don't eat until 11:30 or so.
The question about swimmers 'falling out' with exercise was because exercise causes an increase in discharge - sometimes watery - and I get that. Didn't want the increased discharge to 'flush out' the sperm. :)

Goodness!

[from2to3]

I completely agree about the Folic Acid! Little nervous not being on Prenatal's this time before we get preg anyways, but am definitely taking FA. Just didn't want to take too much if it swayed boy. :)

Basically my biggest measly 'sway' attempts will have to be:

drinking crystal light (no not too much, I mainly drink just water all day so I'm proud of myself to even drink a glass of CL, or diet pop

Hot shower before BD for DH

Shallow ejac.

Jump dump

No breakfast, greatly reducing cals, upping my cal a bit

Cardio (can't do 1 hr) but burning about 200-300 cals from running 6/5 - 7 mph 15-25 minutes. No weights or calis

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey, no need to explain at all, just wanted you to understand that there is really more than one approach when it comes to swaying and the only reason things ever seem in conflict is because of the old-skool vs. new-skool differences. There is ALWAYS an explanation for everything that I recommend when it doesn't jibe with the traditional sway tactics so please just ask.

Re doing the opposite, you only need to do differently on things that were the reason why you got boys...if it's something that doesn't even sway, then trying to incorporate it into a sway so you can feel like you're doing the opposite is only going to cause you unneccesary stress and may raise your T levels more about that here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/33517-maternal-dominance-hypothesis-priviledged-daughter-hypothesis.html Sometimes you get boys not BECAUSE of things you did but IN SPITE of things you did and you would be better off just doing the same thing again in that department, and changing the stuff in other departments which was actually swaying blue for ya.

It's not true that your test will go back to negative when you're ovulating. Some people get pos OPK for hours, others for days. And they can get darker and then ligher and then darker again. OPK are tricky but once you get the hang of them they're very useful.

no, the swimmers from 2-3 days ago do not necessarily get to the egg before new swimmers do. For all you know, those first ones are all dead and gone.

Re watery discharge, sometimes that discharge is from the bladder area if you know what I'm saying LOL. while sometimes there is an increase in discharge with exercise, sperm can swim and once they're up inside (happens 15-30 min after sex) they don't come out. The "stuff" that comes out after intercourse is just empty semen and dead/dying sperm that couldn't swim good enough to get out of the VJJ. You can run the Boston Marathon the day after sex and still get pregnant.

[atomic sagebrush]

second post: more info about prenatals here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/24628-le-diet-faq.html

Please don't reduce cals below LE Diet limits - 1500-1800 for most people, 1200-1500 for people who are very petite or have a lot of weight to lose.

I personally consider that amount of exercise to be moderate and I'm not sure I would take the risk with that but it's your call to make.