Welcome to Gender Desire...

[Lissa]

Welcome to the Gender Desire Board on Gender Dreaming!

Although it can be difficult to admit to friends or family, the truth is -- many would like a certain gendered child. Gender Desire (GDe) is for those who are wishing for a son or a daughter to add to their family. Although you are quite happy with either gender and love your children immensely, it doesn't stop your desire to have your next pregnancy produce a little boy or a little girl.

So, thank you for joining us here -- please feel free to share anything related to your GDe journey and offer support and advice to others!

We are so glad to have you here!

[ELP]

Great idea for a gender desire section, now theres a place where we don't have to feel guilty for wanting another of our dg!!

[Vinter]

This is a great idea! I wish there would have been something like this when I was TTC.

[grasshopper]

This describes perfectly what I have...gender desire. I always had a hard time with the term gender dissapointment as it's just not how I feel. I didn't ever prefer one gender over the other...have just always wanted them both. Great idea separating the two...I will actually be able to talk about it now.

[babydust]

this is a great idea! Wish there was something around like this when I was waiting to ttc for my DG. Describes what I was feeling exactly.

[pinksapphire]

I've always felt this way so I'm very happy to see this forum! :)

[chachamama]

I've always felt this way so I'm very happy to see this forum! :)

Me too!!

[Jennyb0125]

Thanks for the welcome!! I am glad to have a place to express my fears & excitement about gender desire! I am hoping & praying this baby is for team :DS:!!

[cherryswirl]

Hi. This is how i like to think of my feelings too. Ive never been disappointed that my second son was another boy, but when i learned he was a boy my desire for a future girl really ramped up. Probably because number three will most likely be the final chance for us. I'd so love to have a daughter as well as my perfect princes! x

[Doris85]

Im in agony and I feel like the most selfish, ungrateful human being in the world.

My relationship with my Mother is complex and far from right, which I have deeply missed. I have a 10 month old son who I love dearly but I am grieving for the girl I didn't have and secretly wished for. I am only 28, so I guess I still have time, but I am so anxious about having 5 boys and being 'daughterless'. I am such a girly girl and I cannot wait to be a mother to a daughter and have that relationship that I crave. I have spoken to my husband but he doesn't really understand and thinks Im mad. He's alright - he has his boy. I just feel sick at the thought of going to football matches, going to kung-fu lessons and cleaning dirty muddy clothes for the next 15 years. I know I sound selfish but I cannot help the way I feel and I just want to cry most of the time. No one except my husband knows how I feel.

Im craving for my little Princess. I would dote on her, as much as I dote on my son. But I feel I would have more in common doing all the girly things. I have a name already and I cant wait to start for number 2 - but the thought of them telling me its another boy would crush me. My husband is also worried about what it would do to my state of mind.

Another point also - Im at that age when lots of friends are having babies. I feel a sickening feeling in the stomach when they say they are expecting/given birth to a girl and they have such pretty names. Pink blankets, pink teddies and crisp white cardies - all opposite to a boy. I'm wondering whether to keep a diary and write down how I feel.

How do other people cope with this ugly, but unhelped emotion?

Thank you for reading x

[atomic sagebrush]

Huge (((hugs))) Doris.

I just wanted to reassure you that while I know it's difficult to envision in a 10 month old you can have an AMAZING relationship with a son as well. My two oldest boys are adults and they are truly my best friends in the world. We have tons of things in common and I enjoy them to no end. As you well know, a mother daughter relationship is no guarantee of closeness; neither is a mother son relationship doomed to be about nothing more than kungfu and muddy clothing.

My personal opinion is for you NOT to keep a diary. I have found that the people who decide to focus on their emotional states constantly and going over them again and again, are the ones who have the hardest time coming back from gender disappointment. Get out, get busy, enjoy the child you have because every day that passes is one that will never come back again. Instead of focusing on what isn't here (yet, because at 28 you have all the time in the world!) focus on what you do have because it's equally lovely, even if it may be different and not what you imagined at first.

[luckyfourleafclover]

Doris - I totally understand how you feel but I have to reiterate what Atomic said about the mummy and boy relationship. My boys are 8 and 5 and I have such a close relationship with them and I wouldn't swap them for all the little girls in pink frilly dresses in the whole world.

My boys absolutely adore me, protect me & tell me I am beautiful and they love me every single day. They are so affectionate and cuddly and nothing can beat a cuddle from mummy.

It took me a while to realise that there is a huge difference between gender disappointment and gender desire.

It's ok to really want a daughter in the future but you must try and enjoy the beautiful boy you have now, and realise how blessed you are to have him.

this site will offer you lots of support so you are in the right place

[Determined]

http://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/showpost.php?p=547843


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