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DoulaMama
June 8th, 2011, 12:45 PM
Birth Story-(written about one month after his birth)

On Friday June 18th, 2010, I was having more braxton hicks than usual and some back pain with each one so I knew something was up. I was still 3 days away from my due date and my other 2 kids were 10 and 5 days late so I figured I would have another week of this. I went shopping with my mom and had a VERY short fuse with my kids(another sign of impending labour) so I ended up coming home around 4pm. I called my hubby on the way home and asked him to come home. I also had a doctors appt. for my youngest that day at 4:30pm which I called to cancel as well. The receptionist had asked if it was baby #1 on the way and I had told her it was #3...she had said to "hurry to the hospital" cause you never know how fast it'll be....LOL I giggled to myself and was relieved that I would most likely be nowhere near the hospital for this birth.

My hubby was home helping me by 6pm. I told him that it might be something but really I just wanted his company. I went out to my garden and weeded while he took care of the kids and made dinner. I ate a huge portion of dinner, as I was starving...and then I kissed my kids goodnight before heading back out to my garden.

My hubby put the kids to bed, as I had a few more things to plant and I had a feeling that this might be the last time I would sit in my garden with a baby in my belly. I cried as I thought about that. It was such a great pregnancy and I wasn't really "ready" to be done. I had all my supplies, I had read everything I could but emotionally I wasn't there yet. I knew that this might be our last and it was VERY hard to think about not being pregnant again-EVER. By this time it was 930pm and my neighbor K came over and we chatted about what was going on. I let her know that something was different and that she should put her phone by the bed, just in case. She's a very close friend and I knew that if I felt I needed extra support or someone to come over and sit with my children, she would be the one. She knew of my plans to go unassisted and she was very supportive.

At 10pm I went inside and cleaned up. The cx seemed to be getting closer and every once in awhile they would become much stronger and wrap around my tummy. The pain in my back was still there and it was starting to really annoy me so my hubby got the rebozo out and tried to jiggle the little one into a better position. I had kicks at the front of my belly and I knew by palpation that he was posterior.

(My 2nd was born OP/face presentation in 1.5hrs and the back pain I had with his birth was overwhelming- so I wanted to do everything I could to get this little one to turn)

By 1030pm I had a feeling that this was the real deal but I didn't want to get my hubby too excited. After a few strong cx's I finally told my hubby to inflate the birth pool and set up our living room for the birth. Once it was inflated we sat down with a tea and started to watch a movie. I still had some pain in my lower back so when I had a cx, every 8 minutes or so, I would press my back against the bottom of couch while I sat cross legged on the floor. I have to say that I was still in denial that I was actually in labour. My last labour had taken off like a freight train so I was expecting the same thing.

By 11pm it was getting hard to concentrate on the movie and I was also asking my hubby to press on my lower back to help relieve the pressure. The cx's were still coming 8 minutes apart and by 1130pm I was getting a bit bummed that it hadn't picked up in intensity. We decided to head to the bedroom(about 10 feet away)and try to get some rest. I walked into the room and had a very strong cx while leaning over the bed. It lasted about 30 seconds(the longest one yet)and made me close my eyes. YAY!!! I knew that things were going to pick up at this point. After it was done I went to stand up and had another one right away. I told my hubby to start filling the birth pool.

At 1145pm I called K and she made her way over. After I got off the phone with her I needed to puke. This was something I did at the 4cm mark with every birth and I knew that my labour was going to speed up very soon. K came over a few minutes later and lit candles, put plastic on the bed, set up the video camera, and made sure everything was set up for the birth. By midnight I needed my hubby to press on my back with each cx which were now coming every 3 minutes. At 12:15am I decided to strip down to my sports bra and hop into the tub to relieve my back pain...and wowsa did that work!! I still needed my hubby to press on my back with each one but it was much more manageable.I told K to turn the video camera on shortly after I got into the tub, and my hubby got into his swim shorts so he could get into the tub with me. I checked myself(my waters were intact) and I felt his head quite high up and found myself to be about halfway dilated.

At around 1230am my oldest son(4) woke up to my moans(I'm VERY loud when I labour and birth)and came downstairs to watch. He sat on the couch with K and quietly took it all in.

I ended up hanging over the edge of the birth pool through my labour which was a great position. I felt the baby start to descend at some point after DS1 arrived(it gets a little foggy at this point). My body started to grunt and bear down slightly with each cx. I kept checking myself to see if I could feel a head but the only thing I felt was the bag of waters bulging. I know that I start to push before I'm fully dilated-about 7cms or so-but I just went with my body and it felt great.

The cx's never got that long-about 45 seconds max- but they came very close together. I had about 20 seconds between each to relax and gather myself which was a little scary as it was similar to my 2nd birth.

At about 12:45am I really started to bear down with each cx and I could feel his head just inside of me. This was when his water broke. My hubby was right behind me the entire time- rubbing my back, whispering sweet things into my ear and being a wonderful support

I had a massive cx and his head crowned. I felt his hair and kept my hand on my perineum. With the next one his head slowly emerged. I kept my hand on his head as he was born to make sure I pushed him out slowly. I felt both of his ears and his nose as they came out of me. It was an incredible moment. I whispered to my husband that his head was out.

(My hubby then asked if I "wanted him to check"....Well in the moment I had thought he meant "check to see that the head was actually out" LOL!! I just shook my head "no" and thought to myself "I'm pretty darn sure that a head just came out of my vagina...thanks though....". But what he actually meant was "check for a cord". I never did check to see that the cord wasn't wrapped but I feel that the reason I never had the urge to check was because it wasn't there in the first place. Intuition :)

K and DS1 then came and sat down beside the tub to see him being born.

I felt his shoulders turn and start to apply pressure to my perineum. About 10 seconds later I had another cx and on the second push his shoulders were born and I found his little armpits and pulled him up, out of the water. It was a beautiful moment, seeing his sweet face, smelling him, rubbing his vernixy bum, watching my oldest see his brother for the first time. I was ecstatic. I had done it!!! I layed back against the tub and soaked up the sights of my new baby. About 3 mins later I checked to see what we had....A boy!

When the water had cooled down in the tub, about 20 minutes later, I got out. I was amazed that the tub was basically as clean and clear as when I got in! I sat down outside the edge of tub holding him while the cx's for the placenta started. My hubby then called the MW and let her know that I had had the baby. She knew what our plans were and while not totally comfortable with it she had said that she would care for us in the PP period.

The cord was short and I could barely get him to my breast without bending uncomfortably, so about 35 mins after he was born I decided to cut the cord. My hubby got our supplies and tied the cord off with some braided DMC. He then cut the cord and held him while I tried to push the placenta out. 45 minutes after the birth it finally appeared. Nearly as long as it took for the labour! I then palpated my uterus and felt a lump on the right hand side. I was a bit worried but my bleeding was minimal so I just waited to see what would happen. I nursed baby as K helped with the kids(my middle boy had woken within minutes of the birth)and my hubby tidied the birth room. My MW arrived and checked out the baby and my placenta. Everything looked good to her. She then took my vitals, filled out her paperwork and then left.

Everything went smoothly for the birth and I honestly can't imagine never doing this again. I have since told my hubby that I really don't feel "done" and he has mentioned that he would be ok with another one in a few years. You have no idea how happy this makes me. I know that we will try to have a UC again and most likely a UP(unassisted pregnancy) as I know my MW would not take me on knowing full well that I would not call her for the birth again. Oh well. Oh and about that lump....About 3 days PP I had a massive cx while nursing and a 4 inch chunk of placenta came out....It was after this that my afterpains finally kicked in and my uterus started to really shrink.

Anyway, that's my story. It was such a crazy, empowering, life altering experience. I will never view birth the same way. Being a doula, it has altered the way I would "help" a woman with her birth. My hubby has since changed his mind and loves the idea of totally unhindered birth. He was so stoked after this birth- he told everyone that he tied and cut the cord, and that it was amazing.

It has also brought us closer together as a couple. I feel very in love with him and our sweet family.

Thanks for reading!

:DS:1 '06(hospital birth-natural) 7lbs 7oz
:DS:2 '08(mw home water birth)8lbs 7oz
:DS:3 '10(UC water birth)8lbs 6oz

rainbowflower
June 8th, 2011, 01:01 PM
that sounds absolutely incredible!

I would love to deliver my own baby like that, but not sure I'd be brave enough to do it without MWs nearby, and in case my blood pressure rocketed again. It sounds like a fantastic experience :)

LolaInLove
June 8th, 2011, 02:15 PM
Holy Moses, DM, what am amazing birth story! I just loved reading that! I have complete faith that you will be pushing out your sweet DD sometime next year the same way! :awe:

DoulaMama
June 8th, 2011, 02:46 PM
Awe :HH: Thank you :D That is very sweet of you to say Lola. mwa!

Thanks Girls:)

Zivic-Bubac
June 8th, 2011, 03:34 PM
Beautiful story, thank you! :HH:
I don't know much about unassisted births, but your story made me want the same experience as yours lol!

I believe woman has to be brave in order to deliberately go for unassisted birth and well educated in that area too!

Roonarpia
June 8th, 2011, 04:31 PM
OMG I love your story!!! Brought me to tears! I wish I could do a UC but with a VBAC I am not sure that would be such a good idea :P

DoulaMama
June 8th, 2011, 04:53 PM
OMG I love your story!!! Brought me to tears! I wish I could do a UC but with a VBAC I am not sure that would be such a good idea :P
Thank you!! xoxo

A woman can birth however she wants to! Don't let your scar determine how you birth:) Many woman have had UBAC's and done so successfully. Not saying you should...but make sure you look at all your options! xo

There is a yahoo group just for UBAC'ing women:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/UBAC/

A UC discussion board with lots of UC stories and info:
http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/list/306/unassisted-childbirth

A discussion board devoted to UC created by the woman who wrote the first book on UC(Laura Shanley):
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/

A great UBAC birth video(and so many UC births on you tube it's crazy!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpgWgHvXdbk

A facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_2340851877&ap=1

Or type in UBAC birth stories into google :)

I never tell anyone to have a UC...I only say that all women should look at all their options before they decide how/where/with whom they birth. :D

Roonarpia
June 8th, 2011, 05:31 PM
You know you are right! I have wanted one, and those are the birth stories that I read and long for the experience. I am going to look into it! Thank you for all of the info. I would still have my doula attend right?

DoulaMama
June 8th, 2011, 05:49 PM
You know you are right! I have wanted one, and those are the birth stories that I read and long for the experience. I am going to look into it! Thank you for all of the info. I would still have my doula attend right?

I am a doula that attends UC's but I know that not all would feel comfortable doing so. Can you tell me if you are in the US? If so, does your doula have a DONA certificate? If so, she is technically not allowed to be there for you and you'd have to find a doula that is UC friendly. I attend UC's differently than I would a birth in the hospital or a mw attended birth. The difference is, is that I believe that I really am not needed unless it's fetching water, towels, helping mom into the pool, rubbing her back etc....I don't do anything medical! Even giving advice on whether or not she should get into the pool, or if she should go pee is really something I try to avoid. I do not tell a woman to change positions, try certain breathing techniques etc. A woman has to tune into her inner, primal self and listen to her intuition. No one else can interrupt. The hubby is the one that is closest and helps his wife if need be. Most mama's catch their own baby but if she is on hands and knees, the daddy catches:) It's definitely not for everyone but I feel that I need to take full responsibility for my own body, birth and baby and life has no guarantees no matter where you birth. I personally do not like all the interventions that take place in the hospital(and even my mw homebirth...but that is another story) and I feel that birth is, for the most part, as safe as life gets :) If you do look into UC, PM me:) I have lots of great info, books etc and if you're interested I can show you the video of my UC:)

*ruby*
June 8th, 2011, 11:14 PM
Wow what an amazing story and such a lovely entrance into the word for your little man. I hope to have a home birth for my next little one.

pastelpicnic
June 8th, 2011, 11:27 PM
That was such a COOL birth story!!!!! I've always been interested in a home water birth. Although I have sunny side up facing babies and HORRIBLE back labor!!!! I've needed to get an epidural now twice, so I don't think I would be able to do it with no drugs :sad:

TTC5
June 9th, 2011, 12:32 AM
What a wonderful birth!!!

DoulaMama
June 9th, 2011, 12:41 AM
That was such a COOL birth story!!!!! I've always been interested in a home water birth. Although I have sunny side up facing babies and HORRIBLE back labor!!!! I've needed to get an epidural now twice, so I don't think I would be able to do it with no drugs :sad:
Thank you!!
You'd be amazed at what a pool filled with warm water can do for back labour!! I've had back labour for 2 of my births as well(one sunny side up) and without natures epidural(birth pool) I would have been screaming for drugs! LOL
Do you labours last a long time? I found being upright in the pool really made my labour go fast so who knows! You might be able to do it...especially when there is no access to the drugs;) I find it easier to cope because I know that I HAVE to. Never say never! Waterbirth is incredible!! xo

DoulaMama
June 9th, 2011, 12:42 AM
What a wonderful birth!!!

Thank you!

Zivic-Bubac
June 9th, 2011, 07:46 AM
A woman can birth however she wants to! Don't let your scar determine how you birth:) Unfortunately, it depends on where you live.

My one and only option is hospital, lying on my back because that is how ALL the hospitals in the country are doing it. There is some "experimental" program in the capital (water birth, huge experiment, huh?) for which they charge an arm and a leg for. LOL!

Plum3
June 9th, 2011, 07:57 AM
Amazing story!

Thankyou so much for sharing :)

DoulaMama
June 9th, 2011, 10:54 AM
Unfortunately, it depends on where you live.

My one and only option is hospital, lying on my back because that is how ALL the hospitals in the country are doing it. There is some "experimental" program in the capital (water birth, huge experiment, huh?) for which they charge an arm and a leg for. LOL!

But if you really wanted to do it differently it is your RIGHT to say no. You really do have the power to birth however you want to. I wish all women knew that they could say no to certain procedures, tests, birthing positions...we think that we have to because a Dr says we do....it's just not true! If lying on your back is not what you want, it's your right to say no. If a woman with a scar walks in pushing, in the hospital, and refuses a c-section(and knows her rights and states that out loud) they cannot force that woman to have a section. (as a side note- I know that this has actually happened in the States which is disgusting!!). Anyway, I'd say it doesn't matter where you live, a woman can birth however she wants...and if she really wants to do it a certain way she should find a birth supporter to be at home with her so she can do so. Can I ask where you live? It sounds like Hungary....

pastelpicnic
June 9th, 2011, 11:42 AM
Thank you!!
You'd be amazed at what a pool filled with warm water can do for back labour!! I've had back labour for 2 of my births as well(one sunny side up) and without natures epidural(birth pool) I would have been screaming for drugs! LOL
Do you labours last a long time? I found being upright in the pool really made my labour go fast so who knows! You might be able to do it...especially when there is no access to the drugs;) I find it easier to cope because I know that I HAVE to. Never say never! Waterbirth is incredible!! xo



Thanks for being so encouraging Doula! My first labor was 16hours and my 2nd was 12hours. I talked to my DH about it last night, he seemed to think based on the kind of labors I've had that it might not be a good idea. DS2 got stuck because he was 9lbs. and had wide shoulders, he started turning blue and the MW called for the a cardiologist to come immediately. Luckily by the time the cardiologist came and after the MW and nurses palpitated my uterus, he came flying out! Anyway, maybe I will do some more research on it and have my DH do it with me too.

rainbowflower
June 9th, 2011, 12:00 PM
I think you're right about us having the option to say no to things... I think a lot of women feel pressured into doing certain things, but in reality if they lay a finger on you to try and force something on you they can be found guilty of assault (in this country, anyway). If you insist on standing up, they can't force you to lie down, they can just advise it. If you insist on being at home for the birth, they HAVE to find the MWs to cover your birth if you want them there.

That's something I learnt from my first birth - to stand up for myself because I think often my body's instinct knows best.

DoulaMama
June 9th, 2011, 12:07 PM
Thanks for being so encouraging Doula! My first labor was 16hours and my 2nd was 12hours. I talked to my DH about it last night, he seemed to think based on the kind of labors I've had that it might not be a good idea. DS2 got stuck because he was 9lbs. and had wide shoulders, he started turning blue and the MW called for the a cardiologist to come immediately. Luckily by the time the cardiologist came and after the MW and nurses palpitated my uterus, he came flying out! Anyway, maybe I will do some more research on it and have my DH do it with me too.

Some questions....were you in bed with an epi? Stuck shoulders is seen WAY more when moms are on their backs unable to open their hips and use gravity. When you say stuck, how long was he on the perineum for? A true dystocia isn't very easy to dislodge so if he came flying out with just palpation then I would say that he was a bit sticky at the shoulders. I've talked to my midwife about babies getting stuck and out of all the true dystocias they've seen, only 2 were homebirths/natural births. All the rest were because of positioning or Dr's not letting the head turn after birth before the shoulders were born(called restitution). If it's something that you're really interested in, you need to look at why the those problems happened in the first place. Most birth issues can be traced back to the interventions that took place. I would also talk to a CPM(midwife) about your births as she'd have tons of info for you:) (There are so many amazing MW's in Cali:)

After all the issues we had with our first DS, my hubby was very hard to talk to when it came to birthing options. We did tons of research and discovered that my sons problems were caused by the hospital :( It's sometimes nicer to not know...but I'm so glad we found out about other options:) (hugs)
xo

pastelpicnic
June 12th, 2011, 01:28 PM
Some questions....were you in bed with an epi? Stuck shoulders is seen WAY more when moms are on their backs unable to open their hips and use gravity. When you say stuck, how long was he on the perineum for? A true dystocia isn't very easy to dislodge so if he came flying out with just palpation then I would say that he was a bit sticky at the shoulders. I've talked to my midwife about babies getting stuck and out of all the true dystocias they've seen, only 2 were homebirths/natural births. All the rest were because of positioning or Dr's not letting the head turn after birth before the shoulders were born(called restitution). If it's something that you're really interested in, you need to look at why the those problems happened in the first place. Most birth issues can be traced back to the interventions that took place. I would also talk to a CPM(midwife) about your births as she'd have tons of info for you:) (There are so many amazing MW's in Cali:)

After all the issues we had with our first DS, my hubby was very hard to talk to when it came to birthing options. We did tons of research and discovered that my sons problems were caused by the hospital :( It's sometimes nicer to not know...but I'm so glad we found out about other options:) (hugs)
xo

Hey Doula, sorry I'm just now getting responding to this post. I've been bumbed since I finally realized that I didn't O when I thought I did! I'm still having O symptoms and it seems that my body is having a hard time. :sad: Hate to sound like a " Debbie Downer " but I feel that I just can't catch a break! I feel like I will never be able to get my timing right! I feel like the months are just flying by. I didn't want my 2nd and 3rd kids to be far apart.

Anyhow, enough complaining, I talked to my DH about my DS2 delivery. He said that the MW did wait for is head to turn before having me continue to push. Infact he said that they had a little discussion about it. I thought this was funny because he LOVES asking questions.

Flava
June 14th, 2011, 10:26 AM
What a nice story!! thanks for sharing:happy:

Can I ask why you think Zivic story sounds like Hungary?:suprise:
In Hungary you can have a birth what ever way you like. There are birth centers , home births , water births in the hospital if you like, you can have epidural no need to schedule it ahead, or natural birth and no1 yells at you. In some hospitals they even have natural birth rooms where you can labor any way you like.Hang on rope or on jungle jim on the wall.Give birth on a birthing chair.You can bring your own music and candles and they even let you open a champagne and toast after the birth! Now where is all this here in the US??:suprise:And after a c/s they want you to have a vaginal birth and not another c/s like here in the US.They also don't automatically put you up for a c/s with twins.
My SIL is in Hungary and she got twins with natural birth in the hospital.
I guess we are the ones behind here.
Like me I had a home vbac because they just wanted to do automatic c/s after DD3. Ummm no thank you.

Ribbons
February 25th, 2012, 11:23 PM
I know it's been awhile since you've posted this, but thank you SO MUCH. I got teary-eyed several times reading it. I thought I remembered DS2's homebirth as if it was yesterday, but I realized that there are so many details that you miss... this post brought it all back, and it inspired me to write my own memories down as a result.

xoxo Doulamama, thanks!

DoulaMama
February 27th, 2012, 12:02 PM
Ribbons- :D Your post made me smile. I'm glad my story has triggered your birth memories...I can't wait to read your story, if you plan on sharing it with us;) xo

Ribbons
February 27th, 2012, 09:25 PM
Ok, here it is! :) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/birth-ultrasound-stories/8749-ribbons-homebirth.html

Elements
January 23rd, 2013, 02:21 PM
Just beautiful.

I aimed to have my 2nd (after a trumatic first birth) unassisted, but i didnt have the guts, so i went to the hospital but kicked everyone out and lied about how i was feeling so i could be alone, yet have the buzzer there to press if i needed too. Was an amazing experience.