should I sway or should I go ?

[mydream]

Well here is what I am debating...
to sway or to go for one more try with IVF/PGD for a girl

I have had two failed cycles..
below is what happened

I just need opinions--PLEASE

I am 38 years old and have 2 healthy boys both conceived naturally and quickly one @ 33 and one at 35. We are trying for a girl.
I have gone through 2 failed ivf cycles.
My highest fsh is 10.2
First cycle 13 eggs retrieved- 9 mature, 7 fertilized, 5 girls, 2 boys - only 1 normal boy
2nd cycle - 6 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized, only 2 made it to biopsy- i girl, 1 by- both abnormal. Both times we did 24 chromosome testing on day 5 and once on day 6.

[nuthinbutpink]

Can you do a refund cycle?

[mydream]

Meaning if I have not transfer, I could get some money back? I am going to guess no :(

[nancy]

I would try again. At least you know if you are pregnant, you will have your daughter and know you did all that could. I seriously have no faith in swaying since I swayed and had my adorable boys (#3child and #4 child but that is just my opinion). I tried shettles, diet/extreme gender swaying). I think that anyone who gets the gender they wanted after swaying just got lucky. I know many people disagree w/this but this was my experience. I got pregnant w/my daughter on accident... I did not sway for her.

[mydream]

Thanks Nancy-- maybe I should just throw it up to a higher power....forget the sway ...or cycle again..ugh the decision is so hard. I have been through so much heartbreak :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so, so very sorry.

First of all great title, that made me LOL.

My two cents, after walking this road with a lot of wonderful women over 35, (I am 41 and have been with this group of gals for the last 4 years now) is that swaying is a better bet for those of us in this age group. I have seen SO many cycles come and go and very few succeeded. So many walked away heartbroken and without money they desperately needed because let's be honest, at this age we need to start thinking seriously about college funds and even retirement. The stats just aren't great for IVF success at this age and that may be fine for Mariah or JLo or Posh who can fund unlimited cycles but in the real world, we can't do that. I know at least one person who spent so much time on HT that she could no longer conceive naturally and then what??

What feels worse to you - walking away with no baby and no money, or walking away with an opposite?

Your odds of conceiving a baby girl naturally begin to rise at 35. Of course, this is counteracted by the truth that your odds of conceiving a baby with genetic defects also rise so that is a risk that HT can eliminate, but at the same time there are many things that can go wrong that have nothing to do with genetic defects (or at least KNOWN ones), like birth accidents or autism.

In the end, only you can know what your heart is telling you but I do want you to know that I really feel for you and wish you all the best regardless of what you decide. If I can help in any way don't hesitate. ♥♥♥

[mydream]

What feels worse to you - walking away with no baby and no money, or walking away with an opposite?
I absolutely love this line!! and it is so very true and something I have been thinking alot about lately.. I appreciate your words, your honesty, and most of all for offering me help in needed..you are so sweet. You made so many great points. I know with both my boys I did not sway AT ALL--in fact it seems I did just about everything to encourage having boys from the timing, to diet and exercise etc...so swaying could be an option.
I will certainly keep you posted and I am sure I will be asking for help.

[mydream]

atomic- one quick ?- I am now taking 75 mg of DHEA daily--will that affect a sway if I continue to take it and decide to sway instead?

[begonia]

Mydream I know Atomic will likely chime in with a more thorough answer about why, potentially, but I can tell you that several of our 35+ blue swayers are taking DHEA. Best wishes to you with your decision, and I'll toss you some of my pink dust :-)