Does HT seem incongruous to natural parenting?

[gossie]

Sometimes, when I think about doing HT, it just doesn't seem "me". I try to limit our exposure to unnecessary medications/chemicals, had 2 natural births avoiding all possible medical interventions, and generally try to promote a very "natural" (whatever that means) lifestyle for me and my children.

I guess I struggle sometimes with the fact that doing HT seems incongruous with all that. Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way...

...Of course, on the other hand, I have always been goal-oriented, driven, the type of person who WILL find a way to get what I want/need in life, or at least give it my very all. So maybe it is quite "me" after all LOL.

[lindi]

You sound a lot like me! I do everything possible to avoid drugs and chemicals and anything that might compromise my or my family's health, and yet I have systematically injected myself with synthetic hormones, some of which have some legitimate concerns in terms of health- just google "lupron" and you'll see I have been injecting myself on and off over 3 months with something many consider a poison.
However, my dream was very, very strong. I did not want another child unless it was a girl. Its hard to type that, but that's the reality for the women on the HT board (or boy). And I DID very much want another child. So my only option was HT. I looked into swaying because I just - I want what I want. I also didn't think I was really going to do something so "unlike" me. But after studying swaying, this was definitely more "me" than leaving it to a sway.
I justified doing this with the fact that my life IS pretty clean. I really eat only organic food whenever possible. I keep my house very chemical free, organic beds, air purifiers, water purifiers, you name it. Our lawn is gardened by an organic gardener. And so this is hopefully only a small blip in my health.
In terms of natural parenting in the larger sense, I have many many friends who have done IVF for infertility, and they also parent in a similar fashion, so the idea that my child was conceived in a petri dish is a no stigma attached thing for me.
There is a woman who has a theory that women with high testosterone are "meant" to be mothers to boys, and the other way around with girls. She has what feels like pretty interesting and compelling scientific evidence for this, and when I looked at friends body types and personalities, it does kind of make some sense who has boys and girls. But not ALL the time. not in every case. every woman is capable of having both genders. I believe this with every ounce of my being. If it is "unnatural" for me to have a girl for some reason, sorry I'm just not buying it. I don't believe in "my body should make x or y" and that's the most "natural" thing.

[gossie]

I don't believe that either, lindi. I just feel that 3 children is my limit so I want to ensure that the next child is a girl. I do believe there is potential for me to have a girl "naturally" but I wouldn't chance it since this is my last shot.

I was referring more to the things you mentioned earlier in your post, but you make a good point about it being a "blip" as far as lifestyle/health choices. You also make a good point about IVF - I would, without a doubt, have pursued IVF had we not been able to conceive without help. So really this isn't so different just because it is elective.

[Betty Draper]

I do think it is ironic to be vehement about all the "natural" stuff and then go IVF, not for infertility, but for gender - in other words, totally elective. Dr. B even called it ironic when I told him about my past drug free births and then my choice to go the complete opposite direction to get my girl(s). I think it shows how we all justify our behaviors to fit what we want. All natural parenting choices are rife with hypocrisy - I use disposable diapers, drive a car, and so forth, but I won't let a non-organic strawberry touch the lips of my children. So to create an embryo in a dish, BIOPSY it, shoot myself up with hormones, it makes the strawberry seem pointless! But, I am so glad I did do HT, and I still try my best to do natural parenting in this gas guzzling suburb - not a drop of formula for my twins, even if it means breastfeeding 8 hours per day, I am part of a CSA organic farm for all produce, even though it is quite a challenge to clean/store/prepare a giant box of greens every week with four kids four and under, and so forth.

[nuthinbutpink]

It just shows how far we are willing to go to get what we want and yes, sometimes our principles go out the window. Call it what you want, but it is a desperation that we are willing to endure shots, surgery and potential health risks to get what we want. It is not natural at all but what comes at the end, if you are successful, is a beautiful happening of nature that is impossible to regret. THAT, I can say without a doubt.

[atomic sagebrush]

Well on the other hand though, if you look at it in the terms of what is best for the Earth and the environment in the long term, it may be a better, wiser, more natural thing to do to have only 2 children rather than trying to Duggar-it-out. So it may very well be the case that you will reduce your carbon footprint so much that you are living a much more all-natural, Earth-friendly lifestyle, than someone who doesn't go HT and has more kids.

I mean honestly, if we want to be all-natural and eschew technology consistently, we would have to give up the wheel, plumbing, and soap, KWIM?? Technology isn't necessarily bad if it gets us what we want in the end.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh and lindi I know we already talked about this but for those who I haven't talked to about it, the evidence points very strongly AGAINST the idea that some women are "meant" to have boys or girls.

[gossie]

I am totally sitting here laughing at "Duggar it out"!

That was actually part of what made the money aspect of HT an easier pill to swallow - the cost of HT and just one more child vs. the cost of one more child...and then maybe one more if we had a third boy.

[kacbmh]

Hi- I see that this thread was from the summer, but if any of you are still on this site, I just want to say how comforting I found your answers! I was hysterically laughing about the strawberries... I am exactly the same way. The fact that I am even thinking of this HT stuff is very weird... but I pray every day for a daughter, I honestly cannot imagine my life without one.

[purplepoet20]

From the Natural Organic Views... No matter what you do to have a baby the rest of it is natural. Yes you have to take drugs and do all kinds of things to get a baby but it the end it will be the same as if you swayed. Monitoring, ph testing, supps, LE diet, and all kinds of other things. You are just upping the chance for a girl.

Once your preg you can be as natural as possible for the rest of your life knowing that you have a girl!

[girlmom]

i wanted to do ht. i begged my dh for it. i called several places and made a budget so we could start setting aside money. but instead we used the money for a vacation. it was a good thing. we made wonderful memories for my daughters instead of failed ht cycles full of tears. a tiny part of me still wanted the ht when we came home from vacation but i wouldn't trade my girls for a million boys so maybe i was meant to have all these girls for a reason. if you believe in a God maybe he didn't want me to have a boy until i had 7 daughters and 3 miscarriages.
still you have to decied how many attempts of ht will you do? it usually doesn't work until your 3rd attempt from what i read. i just don't have that kind of money laying around.

[envisioned]

If I had the money and it was legal in Canada, I'd be making an appt right now to get started. And I am very nervous about the idea of a mix up more than I am about flying out and spending the cash. Right now all my logic isn't doing so good. I keep thinking I need to be more proactive in this with the help of modern science so I can move past this part of my life.