View Full Version : Sad :(

February 6th, 2014, 06:29 PM
I got all but 1 girl guesses then a dear friend sends me a message asking me not to go out and buy pink and that she was concerned that everyone was 100% positive that I am having a girl and were telling me to go shopping and was worried about getting my feelings hurt. I am guessing she thinks I still have a chance of having a boy since the nub is still angled and not straight forward. I knew all that but seeing her telling me that some of the guesses might not be from people who know what tey are really looking :(

I'm regretting putting pictures up :(

February 6th, 2014, 07:01 PM
I hate the nub phase b/c nothing is ever concrete. We have all seen girl nubs turn into boys and vise versa. It causes so much stress...especially when we have so many emotions riding on it! Your friend probably was just trying to remind you of that. I know when someone says something like that, it just deflates you. Try to remain grounded and prepare for either scenario that could happen and you will be fine!!!

February 6th, 2014, 07:03 PM
not at all. Do not regret it!
I saw your nub and it ALL girl to me!! That said, I am not a doctor or psychic; but I can say I am pretty darn good at nub guessing and do know what I'm talking about. No one can tell you anything for certain certain at such an early stage, but based on what we've seen it does look girl.
Should you go painting the room pink - probably not -- or at least I wouldn't until you see the definite potty shot; but I think you can DEFINITELY have your hopes up that you are in fact most likely carrying a girl.
I do think your friend is just trying to protect you from getting hurt if its not a girl - she probably just didn't state her true intentions correctly. Feel good for now that what you see looks very promising, but of course remain guarded until you know for definite.
I know if I see on my u/s what your pic shows -- I would be thrilled!

February 6th, 2014, 07:17 PM
I know if I see on my u/s what your pic shows -- I would be thrilled!

Ditto this!!

February 6th, 2014, 07:29 PM
Thanks girls, I am not getting my hopes up for those reasons you both mentioned and I know her heart was in the right place! I am not upset with her, I am upset with myself because I allowed for 1 day to think that I was in fact having a girl. I have had my shields up referring to this baby as Theo (our boy name) and I wasn't going to rush out and buy pink but seeing it from another person upset me I guess lol I'm weird I know! Plus it was facebook and i know all my friends on there are wanting this so bad for me maybe they got too excited and got carried away with the possibility of this being a girl :)

February 6th, 2014, 07:31 PM
So sorry she bummed you out. Agree with everything prayforprincess said. Your friend is prob just trying to protect you but I think you are OK to feel hopeful & positive just as long as you are aware that there still is a chance it could go the other way. I know nothing about nub shots so I can't help you there but I see nothing wrong with being hopeful as long as you can handle whatever might come your way. I know I wish I had a nub shot to be hopeful about & if I were you I would be overjoyed at least for now!

February 6th, 2014, 07:49 PM
Thanks dreams :)

February 7th, 2014, 08:26 AM
I know the same feeling!! My sister scanned me and told me girl at 14 weeks.. Then 3 days before my scan at 16+4 she told me she might have seen boy parts. I was devastated! You get your hopes up (for as much as you fight not to) and when someone brings you back to the reality that it could be a boy, it hurts!! I do think there are women who guess on nub pics and don't truly know what they are talking about. I am not a good nub guesser, so I never guess!! lol like the other ladies said, your friend is just trying to protect you.. 12 weeks is early but if GOOD nub guessers are saying girl, I wouldn't stress too much!!! Fx for you!!!

February 7th, 2014, 08:32 AM
Thanks Menic, most of the friends not familiar with the nub theory did not make a guess. I love my friends dearly and I would never get upset over something like that, their love is very obvious by their action and I love them for that! As of right now I myself am 50/50! Better safe than sorry lol

February 7th, 2014, 09:35 AM
Lets be honest Grease -- most women do not know anything about nubs at all. ALL of my friends don't even know what a nub is -- and at 12 weeks when its pointing straight out (and a girl) they thy think its a penis. So you can't base your feeling on the guesses of people who really don't know what they are looking at. Those that have an idea of what they are seeing and "know nub's" thinks it looks as girly as it can looks at this point. So that is super positive.
I also have to say that an experiences doctor can make a very likely correct guess at gender at 12 weeks. Are they 100% all the time. No...but in my experience with 3 children, they have been right all 3 times at 12 weeks.
And look at it this way - once you have a nub that is obviously boy at 12 weeks there is no going back. Its not turning girl. So if your guesses were boy its cause its more obvious and if the doc told you boy well then most likely it is. But you have all girl guesses. That means it doesn't look boy at all. So please don't feel down.
That is what I am praying for. I just want it to look girl at my scan, cause I know if I start hearing boy guesses and think boy myself -- then its definitely not a girl. You are not there. You are hearing girl across the board. Be happy and excited!

February 7th, 2014, 09:51 AM
Good luck on your scan pray!!!!!!

February 7th, 2014, 09:57 AM
Oh Hun, I really do think your nub is a classic girl nubs. We can never say nubs are 100% but that looks really girly. If I had a nub shot like that I'd be letting myself think girl. I think your friend is just trying to be guarded hun, and probably she is right! We do all want you to have a girl but that isn't affecting our genuine delight to see a classic girl nub.

I had think I maybe got a nub but it doesn't seem clear in my nearly 14 week scan. I thought it looked angled and therefore would mean boy (though the pros think its 50/50 and poss part of the leg) so I cut it out of my pic to put on facebook because I just didn't want well-meaning folk spoiling my team green surprise!

It is hard cos as you know I'm due any day and everyone is guessing girl because that is what they want me to have, but I'm still thinking boy lol! Facebook can be a pain for things like that!

February 7th, 2014, 10:34 AM
Hey, you are supposed to be having a baby today not commenting lol

atomic sagebrush
February 7th, 2014, 10:39 AM
By 14 weeks the "angle of the dangle" no longer applies because the nub has already risen - it should be pretty obvious by that point what the gender is, and even if a slight rise at that point it's irrelevant because it won't rise any more. If it wasn't a giant peeper (like I was telling GM in a message, one of my son's you could see it from space LOL) I would feel at least some optimism!!! :nails:

February 7th, 2014, 10:53 AM
I am atomic, I am 60/40 at this point :D

February 7th, 2014, 10:55 AM
I am letting my husband be the party pooper, he is getting annoyed with me and says I need to wait until the 25th to get my hopes up

atomic sagebrush
February 7th, 2014, 11:14 AM
I am atomic, I am 60/40 at this point :D

I should have quoted but I was actually thinking of WaitingforDaisy with her 14 week nubs. Yours is still really early days and so I think you are right to still be 50-50 or 60-40 on that. :)

February 7th, 2014, 11:21 AM
Oops, my bad lol

February 7th, 2014, 11:32 AM
at 14 weeks it was VERY obvious DS3 was a boy.


I have never had a nub like yours and that is a good sign!! :fx:

February 7th, 2014, 11:40 AM
Lol thank you atomic! There was nothing obvious. It was like a thin white line, poss too high to be a nub anyway, and although it was angled it was at the same angle to baby's spine as it had its little bum in the air! But it wasn't an obvious girl or boy nub so I guess I'm still 50/50. But I'm telling myself boy lol

February 7th, 2014, 11:41 AM
Lol and sadly baby is far too comfy in my womb! Clearly wants to preserve the surprise a bit longer!

February 7th, 2014, 04:51 PM
I just wanted to jump in and join the group! Due in August! I think unless the nub is very boyish, and I have seen some very obvious ones, I wouldn't obsess. I have only seen girly nubs on my dds and the whole angle thing is really hard. I saw a friends 12 week scan and she didn't know anything about nubs and I knew right then and there it was a boy. I think though, some boys are obvious.


February 7th, 2014, 04:54 PM
I checked out the nub and oh my, it is girly. :) I don't like nubsessing and hoping I don't need a scan around that time. :)

February 7th, 2014, 06:04 PM
Welcome Spicy and congratulations!!

Thank you, I am trying really hard not to obsess! It's a good thing that it's the weekend and usually we are so busy I don't have time for anything else :) I will know hopefully on the 25th, I will be 15 weeks then and hope it's obvious! Either way I am itching to start shopping !

February 8th, 2014, 01:46 PM
I'm trying to decide where to give birth to my first baby and have to choose this month. The options are: hospital (with epidural pain relief available) or birth center (with tubs for laboring but no drugs). I'll have a doula to help either way.

I am wondering what you mothers out there experienced during labor and delivery. Would any of you care to share your experiences?

Specifically, I'm wondering about pain relief. It is really common to get an epidural for pain relief where I live- almost expected. But I've also learned it may be healthier to avoid an epidural when possible. I've got no problems using medicine to help if the risks are low/reasonable, and I haven't done enough research yet to decide what I'm most comfortable with.

How did you mothers manage pain during childbirth? Any things you wish you had known? Regrets? Things you are glad you did? Thanks in advance for your input.

February 8th, 2014, 02:57 PM
OOOHHH BOY! Are there ever lots of opinions out there about how best to birth and labor! You opened a can of worms, LOL!

I had my first with epidural in the hospital and the only way I could ever be dragged there to birth again is if someone drugged me and I woke up there strapped to a bed and in labor. Seriously, I feel so violated by the experience that I still get angry thinking about it. No one cared about my birth plan, my baby was born blue and not breathing because a lazy nurse marked my chart that she had checked my dilation when she hadn't, and my epidural ensured that I couldn't feel that I was at 10 centimeters for god-knows-how-long, UGH! I got swollen feet and ankles from the excessive fluids forced on me, the narcotics in the epidural made me feel distant, and not care when my baby was born (seriously, I had waited for that moment my entire life, and if someone had asked me in that moment if I wanted to give him up for adoption, I'd probably have shrugged and said, "Sure, why not?") and I ended up with digestive issues because of the excessive antibiotics they gave me in my IV drip.

My second birth, however, was the complete opposite. If it hadn't been for my HORRIBLE extreme gender disappointment, I'd have called this a perfect birth. I was in a birth center, had a water birth 17 minutes after I walked through the door (didn't realize that "feeling yucky and crampy" all night meant I was in labor) and I was allowed to move about as I pleased. I had none of the negative side effects of my hospital birth, I was located less than 5 minutes from an emergency room if that had been necessary, and I have to say that my births were not the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life (kidney infections are a BITCH!) My pitocin-influenced contractions pre-epidural with my first birth were SO much worse than the contractions with my second.

Ultimately, it's about what you want in a birth. If you need the security of knowing the NICU is down the hall, the hospital is for you. If you need to feel honored and listened to, need your own decisions to be adhered to, go with an out-of-hospital birth.

February 8th, 2014, 04:26 PM
I chose right from the beginning I wanted to have a natural birth (in hospital). I chose this because I am stubborn, hated the thought of huge needle in my back, didn't want meds to slow labor, hate taking meds, and wanted to be able to get up right away and move.

My first boy, caught me by surprise and came at 36 1/2 weeks and of course was back labor. I was making a late supper and my back started hurting really bad. Thought maybe I was finally getting Braxton hicks but realized it was too severe and only in back. I then timed "just in case contractions" and they were only like 20 seconds apart...thought no way. Went potty had the 'show'. Went to hospital, found out I was 7 cm. Bounced on ball and did whatever to get it moving as fast as possible. Shortly after, I pushed twice and out baby came. I was glad I was in a hospital because I was really worried he came so early - luckily he was a perfectly healthy boy, ready to conquer! I got up right away and actually walked to our post-partum room!

Second boy waited until 39 weeks. Recognized symptoms right away (not back labor tho!) and hurried to hospital thinking my second might come even faster. Was only 4 cm but labor went just as fast. I am glad I delivered in a hospital (I had a great experience) and drug-free. It definitely hurts, and the saying "ring of fire" holds true but you have to expect that...you are pushing out a baby! I had hard, strong contractions with both but I knew once baby was out it would be over. It helps knowing that it won't go on forever! I also have a high pain tolerance.

I do have friends that have went natural and then epidural...and they say epidural is the way to go. They were able to rest and such, and obviously not feel the pain. Either way, it depends on the person and the labor. There is no shame no matter what you do...what matters is that in the end there is a healthy baby and mommy!!!

The best advice I can give....RELAX YOUR BODY!!! Do not tense up during contractions, try to be as relaxed as possible. Your body knows what its doing, let it do it's job!! I firmly believe that's why I had such fast labors. (That and a complete stranger prayed for me to have such) :)

February 8th, 2014, 06:05 PM
All 4 were in a hospital. 1st was with a spinal& narcotics, it was pain free but I developed a spinal headache after delivery & it was the worst most painful pain I have ever had in my life. I can also say after delivery I was completely out of it. All I wanted to do was sleep & to echo what lilithwiser said I might have let them take him if they asked. My 2nd was a C-section cause she was breech & over 9lbs. That one I had to get knocked out because after the first spinal headache I am not allowed to have a spinal or an epidural again.

Last 2 were drug free because they were vbac's & I was not allowed to have meds. #3 was forever long & contractions were horrible had a doula but she was worthless she just wanted to watch TV. #4 was an easy perfect birth. Yes it was painful & there were moments I wanted drugs & at one point I remember just telling my DR to forget it, just knock me out & take him out. But it was over fast & I was up & moving & holding my DS & sooooo happy.

It is a very personal choice. I don't think I would have ever chosen drug free on my own but I am so glad that I was forced in to it. Not gonna lie it hurts but that pain does end. For me the contractions were the worst the pushing part was never that bad & it was usually 2 pushes & they were out. I did learn from #3 if you can relax & just go with it (which is easier said than done) your body will make things progress much faster which is the best.

February 9th, 2014, 05:35 PM
Thanks for your stories. These are helpful...
If my hospital had a tub I could soak in, jacuzzi or not, I would plan to deliver there as naturally as possible with the hospital midwives and my doula. But they only have showers. I imagine a tub would really make a difference for me.

February 9th, 2014, 09:47 PM
The tub made all the difference in the world to me! I will say that some hospitals have tubs for laboring, and some that do have tubs have a "no tub after water has broken" policy, which makes no sense to me, since this is when you want to be in the tub the MOST. The tub was immediate pain relief, and that's less than 5 minutes before PUSHING!

I hope you make the decision that makes YOU the most comfortable, since it is YOUR birth and YOUR experience. I wish I had known that there were worse things in life than pain, and that NO MATTER what, you can always refuse any suggested medical intervention/procedure. Make sure that you take control of your birth and make it yours. It's not your fault that the hospital wants to get people in and out and make a profit, or that the c-section rate isn't something they concern themselves with.

February 10th, 2014, 12:28 AM
Don't put yourself down Grease, with that nub you've got every chance of it being a girl. The wait is a killer I know! I went crazy with Ramzi and then nub shots. Hours in the internet lol And my little one was upside down to make matters worse, and even though I got all girl guesses, I also knew that the upside down thing kind of voids it, as they say. You will know for sure very soon and I am keeping everything crossed they confirm it's a little girl! x