Sex question for girl moms...ignore if TMI bothers you!

[LilithWiser1979]

Okay, I'm going to preface this by apologizing in advance for this question. It's a lot to ask of you ladies to volunteer, but it's a burning question I just HAVE to ask.

So, how often do you go for a big O (with or without DH!) I'll admit that I'm a bit of an addict, and they come easily to me, and whether or not he's in the mood, I sleep better after one, so I often go for it most days of the week. Part of the mythology of TTC a girl is that a big O, or getting them often, sways blue. Every time I've gotten pg, I've had one before and after BD, and every time I've gotten a boy. Just curious to see if this is a common theme.

[carmella_marie]

I had always heard big O messes testosterone levels and not to do it when TTC pink so I did no big O for 2 months up to my attempt but got an opposite

[maria02]

I didn't and got a girl
Wasn't swaying though.

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[Mum to three girls]

I pretty much always do and have three girls.

[Rosie85]

So is this inquiring about frequent masturbation? I am curious too.

[Mum to three girls]

I was answering about the big O during sex! I have nothing against masturbation but we have a pretty active sex life so rarely bother.

[bunnywabbit]

In general is advised to avoid the big O whenever possible, as difficult as that is!

[LilithWiser1979]

LOL, yes, I was actually asking a sex/masturbation question without using the "M" word. People tend to shy away from it, and there are actually people who think that admitting to masturbation within marriage means your sex life is unsatisfying or that your marriage isn't good. CLEARLY I am not one of them :)

So I thought this might be the best way to ask and get as many responses as possible without asking anyone to admit to their relationship with their vibrator :giggle:

[Rosie85]

oh! well I have zero censor. lol! Sorry! :oops::rofl:

[carmella_marie]

FWIW I don't think masturbation means you have a poor sex life in marriage! But, sorry TMI here, after about 6 weeks on the LE diet I was soooo dry down there had to have lots of lube and after about 8 weeks I had serious decrease in libido (lowering testosterone maybe?) and took that change as a good sign !

[odd]

I have been wondering abt this too. We have a happy marriage but my hubby has a super low libido so I am used to 'helping myself' lol. . And for the same reason coz I sleep so much better.

Vut I have noticed thay since starting saw palmetto ...I haven't had the need to or don't even feel like it. .lok

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[LilithWiser1979]

Basically, I was asking this to see if this lifestyle was a "boy-friendly" way to go. I guess it is :(

[aidansmum]

LOL love that question! I used to be a bit of an addict to playing solo when younger, I kind of calmed down a bit now. When DTD I orgasm 9 out 10 times. As for the solo thing, I quit whilst trying for a girl as I didn't want to build up testosterone, and DH and I also decreased our sexual encounters to only twice a month (!!!) - lucky he's exhausted and working 6 days a week, so it wasn't too hard - but I believe that less sex = less testosterone for both of us = my body fooled partnership is no longer stable = more chances of a baby girl. Done it on purpose and having a girl, although I'm not saying that played a part, it was just my belief. Activities returned to normal now! :rofl:

[atomic sagebrush]

I do think there is a trend in this direction where moms who have boys have a bit higher sex drive and possibly reach O easier than pink mamas do.

It's a bit of a chicken-egg kinda scenario, because the question is, do boy moms have a higher sex drive overall and it's THAT which is swaying and then coincidentally leads to more orgasms as well, or is it that the orgasms themselves are swaying somehow, or both?? And that we simply do not have the answer to.

Some research indicates that female orgasms may fulfill some biological function so I don't dismiss that they are swaying in some way. It's actually super complex system and I just finished reading (a rather unpleasant) book about the subject. Never let it be said I don't cover all bases when it comes to swaying research. :)

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/27912-o-no-orgasms-swaying.html

I did have an O when I got my DD but it was really really bad and took forever. I only did it because my husband is an a$$ when I don't. My sex drive was the lowest by far than at any point I conceived my boys.

[Rosie85]

Okay now see I had a super super low sex drive over all with the first 2 boys but during the period we got pregnant my drive was high and it was basically sex everyday. Ds3 my drive was low except around ovulation time and in current time it is pretty much the same as with ds3, maybe a little bit higher. It concerns me as far as my sway goes because I think it will hurt it. My drive is better because our relationship is better than before. That sways boy. hmphff

[Hobbermittens]

I have them a lot, and always do when DH and I DTD, and we have 2 :DS: and 2 :DD: .
When swaying for DS2, I made sure I had a big O before, during and after BD, when normally I just have one during BD (or two if it's a good night! :wink:)

Maybe you should try to hold off if you can, but I know for some of us, it isn't that easy. I'm not sure I could have sex without having one!

[Rosie85]

wow hobber, I wish I would have trouble having sex without an O. I HAVE to be on top to get one and even then it is still work sometimes. So the whole Easy O for boy moms doesn't suit me. I guess I O quick with a toy though...

[unwirklich]

I've found that my sex drive really varies with my mood, so kind of playing into what Rosie says, when I'm not pissy with my husband or just cranky in general it seems to affect things more than the hormones. Though on a just a thought comment, I dug this back up:

Mammals can 'choose' sex of offspring, study finds - Office of Communications & Public Affairs - Stanford University School of Medicine (http://med.stanford.edu/ism/2013/july/ratios.html)

This wasn't the article I'd read, I couldn't find it, but this one has the same info. The other had more strongly suggested that how satisfied you are with your mate could affect the gender of your children. I don't think I'd put a ton of stock into it, because there's no way every women with a girl was unhappy in her marriage/sex life, but maybe if women who are unhappy for one reason or another O less that's why they have more girls?

[Prayingpink]

With both my boys my sex drive was low and I hardly ever oed but coincidently I did o the nights I conceived them. Now my sex drive is much higher and I'm ttc girl so idk how to feel about that lol

[MIka1104]

I have a very high sex drive and very active sex life BUT I rarely get the big "O." I have 2 daughters. I did find out that I had a very friendly girl lifestyle though. I've never thought that lack of O's couldve factored in that...

[LilithWiser1979]

This is so educational! Thanks for all the contributions, ladies.

FWIW, I had a big O before and after all 3 boy BDs. Lots of other things in my life were boy friendly, as well, but thought I'd share. Always had a high sex drive, also.

[dloui128]

I have a really high sex drive and always O and I have 2 girls and a boy. I agree with Unwirklich with my sex drive does vary with my mood. The only thing I remember of sex when I was trying for DD1 was that I was trying to have a baby and it was taking a while so I didn't O when I DTD trying because it was sooooo planned out, it was like a job, we had to DTD because I wanted a baby. DD2 wasn't planned and it was one of those times that it was super spontaneous and I O'd like a million times lol

[atomic sagebrush]

wow hobber, I wish I would have trouble having sex without an O. I HAVE to be on top to get one and even then it is still work sometimes. So the whole Easy O for boy moms doesn't suit me. I guess I O quick with a toy though...

It actually does though because lots of women, est. 10-15%, never have them at all and it's the minority, 25% of the remainder, who can even have them from intercourse. (rememember - just read book about it) So if you're having orgasms from intercourse you are already more...trying to find suitable word, failing...whatever LOL, than the majority of women out there.

The evolutionary explanation in my book was that female orgasm may be kind of a litmus test to see if a guy is selfless enough willing to take the time to actually give you one. I am not sure about that because I know that a lot of guys are very jerkish when their partner doesn't have one and I don't think "selflessness" enters into the equation (did I mention that book was rather unpleasant). my husband pouts or even throws a tantrum if I'm not into it (and let me just say that has gotten really really old) so I am not at all convinced it's a test for the males since they're the ones who are into it.

Since I approach everything from the gender swaying perspective, I wonder if orgasms may have something to do with gender ratio, but at the same time I do see tons of girl moms who have them all the time so clearly it can't be any kind of magic bullet.

[atomic sagebrush]

I've found that my sex drive really varies with my mood, so kind of playing into what Rosie says, when I'm not pissy with my husband or just cranky in general it seems to affect things more than the hormones. Though on a just a thought comment, I dug this back up:

Mammals can 'choose' sex of offspring, study finds - Office of Communications & Public Affairs - Stanford University School of Medicine (http://med.stanford.edu/ism/2013/july/ratios.html)

This wasn't the article I'd read, I couldn't find it, but this one has the same info. The other had more strongly suggested that how satisfied you are with your mate could affect the gender of your children. I don't think I'd put a ton of stock into it, because there's no way every women with a girl was unhappy in her marriage/sex life, but maybe if women who are unhappy for one reason or another O less that's why they have more girls?

I totally agree that our moods play a huge part in our sex drive and so that's why I don't want anyone reading too much into sex drive and testosterone.

There are studies dating back to the time of Charles Darwin that showed single women had more daughters and while I'd never say I've been super duper happy in marriage I was def. at a low point when I conceived my daughter and my sex drive was nonexistant for me.

But don't forget that there are prob. two ways to get girls and one of them is being like Sloane, so it is entirely likely that it's both women who are very happy and women who are not so much that are likely to get girls. :)

[maidentomother]

I definitely think that men who are obsessed with female orgasm are being selfish, not selfless. In my experience it's the more controlling, arrogant types of men who feel strongly about me Oing, while the more supportive, devoted types take my word for it when I say I enjoy myself despite not Oing!

I am one of these 'O super easily from intercourse alone' types, and mostly I have g spot orgasms. I have a high sex drive usually. However I've never been much into masturbation, even when single, as I find it super boring, and it takes MUCH longer for me to O. I also don't like toys or vibration or even receiving oral, only real penis works for me. :D

Currently I do not O ever bc a medication I'm on completely prevents O and also really suppresses my sex drive, but I hope both are helping my pink sway!

I have a friend whom I consider 'super failed sway' as her lifestyle is naturally perfect for pink swaying though she has all boys. Vegetarian, low fat and low calorie diet, irregular and skipped periods, intense cardio daily via long distance running, borderline anorexic with underweight BMI, lots of stress with not much sleep, and she also has no sex drive, no interest in masturbation (she claims she has never masturbated), rarely has sex, doesn't O easily at all. I really want to know why she has boys!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes I know one of those too.

It is because the type of person who needs to be that high in control, the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis takes over and women who are a little bit "control-freaky" have more boys. It's not just diet, it CAN'T be just diet, if it were then the entire human race would have died out the first time there was an extended famine (so pretty much every year before 1800)

[maidentomother]

Yes, that's definitely her! I so want to know how that personality type sways, that is, what's happening on a physical level that predisposes her to conceive boys despite all the other pink sway factors. I really hope we figure that out, just purely bc I'm soooo curious.

[Boysway]

Very interesting read ladies :) hmm, I think you've just explained the real reason my ex always wanted to make sure I had the big O. His controlling ways. I know when I was with my ex (3 girls to my ex) we DTD frequently as he had a high libido. My libido was slightly higher back then. I know I was under stress as my parents were trying to keep us apart for the first pregnancy. Second pregnancy, well my ex had changed by then and become not such a nice person. My confidence was waaaayyy down. Still lots of DTD though. Looking back I think it was my poor eating and feeling down and low confidence that got me my first 3 girls. With my youngest, less DTD as dh has a lower sex drive then ex had. I know I didn't have the big O when she was conceived. In fact I don't know how hubby was 'successful' lol. I had hurt my back so couldn't move much without pain yet, that was when our youngest was conceived.

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[TTCaPRINCE]

When DH and I got pregnant with DD 6 years ago we were young and I normally wouldn't have an O when we had sex. It wasn't a priority. I just wanted to have sex. So to answer your question when I got pregnant with DD I did not have an orgasm. This time around however I had and orgasm right before DH and right after DH each attempt and we are in fact having a boy.

[Princess of Pink]

I have always had a really high sex drive. Hubby used to joke when we first got together that I was the guy in our relationship trying to get in his pants 5 times a day lol. I have an O 19 times out of 20 when we DTD….O super easy (often just during foreplay before sex even starts. I also have a relationship with my vibrator and often use O to sleep. Alone I can achieve O in under 2 mins. So for me this theory doesn't work as I have 5 girls!

My girl swaying powers really seem to be diet and lifestyle related. I read all of the TTC a Girl info a few years back when I first came here and had a light bulb moment!!

[o18e]

Wow lots of responses here! I do know that I did O each time we conceived our boys. Our plan will be different this time as we try for a sweet baby girl.

[atomic sagebrush]

yes this is a great thread! I am going to link it in the Complete Index and in the Orgasm Essay (boy if I had a nickel for every time I wrote that, I would not be a millionaire! :))

[Leebug]

Hmmm.wasnt "taking care of business" myself first conception but did have a big O before with both.dd# 1 we had just got married 6 months prior so dtd lots & position for both was from behind.dd#2 was a failed sway but I do remember using the good old power tool at naptime the week of O in addition to have a big O during our attempts.lol

[Fiorefleur]

I don't "go" easy at all, so I probably didn't have much of an "oreo" (as we call it here. hahaha ) with either girls.

Helpful thread...add "oreos" to my game plan for boy sway. ;-)

[Kitty0911]

I didn't "o" when I conceived all of my boys. It just rarely happens for me :/

[ThreeLittleStars]

Always o, four girls. Yep, I beat the odds, haha.

[hopper]

This is a very interesting read!! When we conceived our first DS we were on honeymoon and, sorry for the indelicate wording lol, "at it like rabbits"!! I would have Oed super duper easily either with DH or by myself and always Oed during sex. With DS2 I was well rested and therefore my sex drive was still quite high, I find that when I'm tired the last thing on my mind is have the big O either with DH or without! We dtd every day or every second day when ttc DS2 and I Oed 9 times out of 10. Now we are approaching sway time later this year and DS2 is sleeping terribly and DTD is so not a priority! We have actually only DTD 3 times this YEAR!!!! I would often just sort DH out by other means but couldn't be bothered with him reciprocating, that would be precious sleep time wasted lol!! I think I have had the big O a handful of times this year, every time was by myself though. DH is less than impressed but my sex drive definitely seems to be linked to sleep and diet - I'm tired and slightly under nourished (compared to what I was before anyway) so fingers crossed for some pink later this year!!

[Hex]

I have never Oed during sex. I just cannot, I need a little extra help. ;-) hehe. I have always been someone to "help myself" when DH isn't around or isn't interested.
With my first son, concieved with my ex-DH, I was unsatisfied in the relationship, he was very emotionally abusive and I was always stressed and depressed. I never Oed with him because he did not take the time and I am 99% sure I did not O when I conceived my first son.
With my second son, I was 3 months into the relationship with my DH and we were happy and going at it like rabbits. He was ALWAYS taking the time to get me off and I am 99% sure I DID O with the conception of my second son.

Maybe the stress swayed blue for my first (does stress sway blue???)??

[atomic sagebrush]

It depends on the type of stress. If it's out of your control and you feel victimized, it can actually sway pink (and this is one thing we have good science backing up) but with exceptions, as you know!

None of these things are 100% anyway, we just have these threads to look for overall trends! :)