WTF is wrong with me... I'm jealous of Princess Kate now

[lemonade]

I was out grocery shopping with my 6 week old DS2, and as we were checking out, a magazine headline popped out at me: "Princess Kate Pregnant Again... It's A Girl!" in huge letters, with a picture of her looking ecstatic. I felt my heart sinking, and I actually got tears in my eyes. I held it together until I got to the car, and I started sobbing behind my sunglasses.

I don't really care about the royal family, but Princess Kate had her son around the time I found out I was having a second son. Having her in the world spotlight as a mom of a baby boy kind of helped me with my GD (although it seemed there was a ton of disappointment that he wasn't an adorable little princess.) But less than a year later, she is going to have her princess after all, and you just know this little girl will get insane amounts of press, with her adorable outfits and tiaras. You just know Kate will dress her to the nines like her little doll, and she'll be everywhere. Prince George will be shoved to the background.

I think I feel worse because we went to a little boy's 2nd birthday this weekend, and the mom was pregnant, and she congratulated me on my DS, and then said "we're having a little girl this time." As always, I felt that twinge of hurt deep inside. It's far worse when the mom has a boy first. I also tend to see far more baby girls than boys lately.

This is definitely Gender Desire, not Disappointment, because I am head over heels with DS2. He is extremely adorable with his wide eyes and blond hair, and I get compliments on him everywhere I go. And DS1 is a sweetheart. It's just that I know we're only going to have 3 kids, and if I want a guaranteed daughter like these women, it's going to be tremendously invasive and expensive, and that makes me so sad.

[GreaseMonkey]

I am sorry you are hurting but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on magazines, I highly doubt she is pregnant and also carrying a girl.

I get what you are feeling, I was this way when I had my 2nd son. It seemed like everyone around me was having girls and I was having another boy after wanting to stick with only 1 kid. Only reason I had #2 was because of DH, he wanted another one. Now I am pregnant with #3 and I was SO mad!!!! I hated it, wanted it to be over and when I thought it was over and then it wasn't I kind of felt relief that the little one I thought I had miscarried was still alive and thriving. This is it for me, boy or girl this baby is going to be my last and I find out gender in a couple of weeks.
Don't lose hope, your #3 might be a girl :)

[hotdogz&boyz]

I think Gender Desire/Disappointment can hit at weird times. When you expect it, it can be mysteriously absent. And when you don't, it can hit you really strongly.

I am quite sure that Kate is not "pregnant and expecting a girl." The royal palace would have put out a press release if she were expecting. And I highly doubt they would announce gender at the same time...or even at all, given they didn't find out with George. She would be rather early to find out even if she were expecting. And I doubt she would have the testing, given her age and health. It seems to be a "thing" with the media lately...talking obsessively about her "being pregnant." I've seen it 2-3 times since October or so. Who knows if she even wants another at this stage. I do, however, feel bad for her. Everyone seems to be focused on her getting a princess, I bet that is a lot of pressure and could fuel some GD of her own.

But your feelings are entirely valid. No different, really, than your boy-mom friend who suddenly gets a girl. It feels like they won't understand anymore (although, I assure you, I do remember very well how it feels). And envy creeps in. You may be that person who other folks are envious of when number three turns out to be a girl. Don't count yourself out!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I read a TON of things saying she was having a girl with the first one, so I wouldn't put any stock into that.

it does getcha sometimes though. Even though I have my daughter, my sister and all her friends have b-g pairs without even trying (they are way younger than me so although I have been popping out boys for 20 years they are all just now starting their families). It's like oh of course everyone else it just happens for easily and without effort and now they get to relax and enjoy every precious second, whereas I have to give birth 5 times and raise kids for 45 years and do years of exhaustive research and invent a whole freaking diet to get one little girl! :s Not my most shining moment!!

[Dreamofpink]

Yes but in doing so Atomic, you've changed so many women's lives around the world! :D You're incredible! :heart:

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[Rosie85]

Yes but in doing so Atomic, you've changed so many women's lives around the world! :D You're incredible! :heart:

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What she said! You are changing so many peoples lives, making their dreams a possibility!!

[Rosie85]

Lemonade I too saw the same magazine and INSTANTLY felt extremely jealous. I went home and looked it up because I was skeptical it was even true and sure enough it's fake but still! The feelings I had were real and I get them all the time. Why everyone but me? What did I do to not deserve a baby girl...my dream? It literally hurts my heart so badly I think it truly skips beats. Hopefully this is my time and your time too whenever you have your next!

[trifecta]

I saw that magazine and had the same feelings some of you did but I doubt she's pregnant again so soon. As others pointed out all the tabloids were keen on her having a girl the first time but she had a boy; there's no way they would know the sex if she was pregnant. I was dreading George's birth because I thought based on how bad her morning sickness was that it would be a girl and I would be jealous. Now I hope they have another boy so George won't be lonely and so people might start to see single-sex families as something that could be desirable instead of as an aberration.

[Adia]

I read a TON of things saying she was having a girl with the first one, so I wouldn't put any stock into that.

it does getcha sometimes though. Even though I have my daughter, my sister and all her friends have b-g pairs without even trying (they are way younger than me so although I have been popping out boys for 20 years they are all just now starting their families). It's like oh of course everyone else it just happens for easily and without effort and now they get to relax and enjoy every precious second, whereas I have to give birth 5 times and raise kids for 45 years and do years of exhaustive research and invent a whole freaking diet to get one little girl! :s Not my most shining moment!!

While it is not a laughing matter, you make me chuckle. Some of us have gone to such crazy lengths to get our DG that it could be seen as a little nutty if you were talking to an average friend on the sidewalk....:sigh:

In all that you have changed many of our lives for the better.

And i HIGHLY doubt princess Kate is preggers or having a girl. The tabloids get desperate when the drama dies down in the winter time. She certainly didn't look anywhere near prego in her Valentine day photo from some royal errand she was on.

[dreaminginblue]

I felt envious when she had George as she had such bad morning sickness I was convinced she was having a girl. Obviously this has been found to be fake but it would be like someone else has said, all over the media if she was to have a girl. Boys are lovely but the world seems more appreciative of girls. Unless its your second one, than no-one seems interested.
IRL my friend has just found she's pregnant with her 2nd and she's had a terrible few weeks with bleeds and morning sickness so much so that those who know are saying she's having a girl and though she'd love to be, she has a boy and this will be their last, she doesn't want to get her hopes up till they know the gender. To add to the pressure, this will probably be the last baby in both their families and their siblings have all had boys! I feel sympathetic but she will fall into the smug crowd if it is, she can be quite smug when talking about DS. For her I hope it's a girl but I would be envious if she had a boy too.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes but in doing so Atomic, you've changed so many women's lives around the world! :D You're incredible! :heart:

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Thank you so much - that does give me a lot of peace of mind. That was the selfishness talking - even though it did happen for me and I am thrilled to be able to help others, I have many days where I wish it had been an easier road and I could have been able to just enjoy. When I planned on having more babies it wasn't so I could sit at the computer all day. I feel guilty for the time I did not spend with my littles because I had such a passion for this. :s

[Orchidia]

I saw that magazine and had the same feelings some of you did but I doubt she's pregnant again so soon. As others pointed out all the tabloids were keen on her having a girl the first time but she had a boy; there's no way they would know the sex if she was pregnant. I was dreading George's birth because I thought based on how bad her morning sickness was that it would be a girl and I would be jealous. Now I hope they have another boy so George won't be lonely and so people might start to see single-sex families as something that could be desirable instead of as an aberration.

Remember that Princess Diana had two boys though!

[atomic sagebrush]

Fergie also had 2 girls and of course Queen Elizabeth is one of two girls.

I honestly think this whole "you must have a pigeon pair or something is wrong with you" is a pretty recent thing!! I have talked to lots of older people and they didn't think that same sex families were in any way odd, while I do think people have always felt sympathy for moms who want daughters and dads who want sons (and vice versa), no one ever used to think it was strange for people to have 2 boys or 2 girls or that they needed to remedy it.

[hotdogz&boyz]

^^I wonder if it is because of shrinking family size and our inane desire to "balance" things. Back in older days, it wasn't uncommon to have 3-4-5-6 kids and so when someone had two kids, no one bugged them because even if they were the same gender, there was always that potential for more. Now, everyone is so steadily in the "no more than two, max of three" camp that the pressure to produce one girl and one boy is higher. And clearly the "no more than three" camp comes directly from those having two of the same. I can't tell you how many times I hear people with PP who desire a third who say people give them the serious stink-eye because they "already have one of each!" I'm not sure it's related, but it does seem that folks didn't get their panties in a wad back in the day...and often did have several of the same followed by an opposite (both my mom and dads families start with GG...followed by B...then one had G and stopped and the other had GBG and were done). Now that people can't really afford a ton of kids, I think the pressure has risen to get one of each so you get both experiences, but don't stretch your other commodities too thin. (I don't mind being stretched too thin, hence our desire for more...and the looks do occur since we have "our girl" now).

[dreaminginblue]

Now that people can't really afford a ton of kids, I think the pressure has risen to get one of each so you get both experiences, but don't stretch your other commodities too thin.

You've hit the nail on the head there hotdogz. I don't mind stretching our resources for another child, which I hope is my DG. I couldn't imagine stopping at 2 even though I am scared of adding another but I felt the same before conceiving DD2. I don't know the fascination with PP but I keep getting told I should be happy I have 2 healthy happy girls. And I am, I just don't feel like our family is done yet. I'd love to have twin boys as I keep expressing but I'll settle for one. Hubby doesn't want a fourth pregnancy due to me so far having c-section births so I'm truly hoping for a boy!

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[lisvna]

I can hear you!!! Same feelings here...defenetly gender desire and no gender disappointment. Hugs!

[atomic sagebrush]

I also think that the increase in marketing over the last several decades has a sinister effect on us. I feel like it benefits certain parties for every family to have a boy and a girl and purchase two sets of wildly dissimilar products for them and to be made like they're missing out on some magical experience. So that has been promoted and normalized and on some level it's entered our collective subconscious.

Now, I do think there is something inborn in some of us that gives us a strong gender desire esp. for our same sex offspring BUT the social pressure and that overwhelming sense of "missing out" or lacking that some of us experience when we can't go into the "wrong colored aisle", I think is a new thing.

[SamS_TTCPink]

I saw that magazine too and was equally upset until I went home and googled it and I don't think she's even pregnant (well she hasn't said she is). I also thought to myself how silly I was being but it does affect you when you have a gender desire you're trying so hard to achieve and then you read that headline and I'm sure she isn't swaying! ;)

[prayforprincess]

Princess Kate is NOT pregnant and therefore not having a bay girl. The palace confirmed this was only a rumor.
Most likely when she does become pregnant with baby #2 they will not announce the sex until birth as this is their tradition.

[Doris85]

I know exactly how you feel Lemondade. I too, had my first baby boy when Kate had George around 6 weeks later. I was a little disappointed I have to say I had a boy (even though I love him dearly and wouldn't change him at all!!) but I am so grateful for a happy healthy baby.

Chin up - Im hopeful for a girl. May be next year?? We need to get eating those cashew nuts, greens and yogarts!!

I hope you have your princess too. Its what keeps me going. One day....

x x x

[atomic sagebrush]

Doris, I have no idea why you're eating greens and cashew nuts for TTC a girl and I encourage you to follow the link in my signature below to "the Complete Index" and read my essays on "the Calcium Conundrum" because eating a ton of greens, yogurt, and cashews may make it much more likely you will conceive a BOY, not a girl.

[houseofboys]

Kate is pregant again, she did a le diet in april may june consisting of vegetables, fruits and fish. she is pregnant with s girl, I bet my last penny on that!

[trifecta]

I sure hope not. Irrationally, I got a little satisfaction from them having a boy. If they go on to have a girl we'll have to hear over and over again how a boy and a girl is the "perfect family." It would do so much more good if they had another boy.

[princessCharlotte]

there is rumors spreading that the couple know the gender already (A girl).

[Sugaree]

I also think that the increase in marketing over the last several decades has a sinister effect on us. I feel like it benefits certain parties for every family to have a boy and a girl and purchase two sets of wildly dissimilar products for them and to be made like they're missing out on some magical experience. So that has been promoted and normalized and on some level it's entered our collective subconscious.

Now, I do think there is something inborn in some of us that gives us a strong gender desire esp. for our same sex offspring BUT the social pressure and that overwhelming sense of "missing out" or lacking that some of us experience when we can't go into the "wrong colored aisle", I think is a new thing.

I agree with this. Also, the fact that we can find out the sex before birth. In the "old" days you found out at birth and you got what you got and everyone accepted it and moved on. Now everyone wants to know as early as possible and if you don't it "right" you have to deal with the comments for months.

I noticed with my team green baby that there was a lot less pressure. When I announced I said I wasn't finding out so don't bother asking. And no one did. Once he was born it was mostly good comments.

[trifecta]

there is rumors spreading that the couple know the gender already (A girl).

She's under 12 weeks so there's no way they know the sex. They say they broke the news early because of her severe morning sickness but there's speculation they did it to deflect attention from Scotland possibly becoming independent.

[emmake]

It will be a girl for them, several well known fortunetellers told this

[sweetdream]

They've got 50% chance of being right.
I remember rumours of them having a girl with prince George too, so... Wouldn't put to much weight on it

[maidentomother]

Maybe they did IVF? Considering both the prior generation were boys, maybe Kate wanted to assure herself a daughter?

I wonder if there is pressure on the couple to only have 2 kids?

[2boysJustOneGirl]

If she has a girl I will lose my mind!!!


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[1+2+3boys]

I wouldn't think the royal couple would do PGD for sex selection on only their second go. How on earth would they keep it a secret and imagine the scandle! Plus they are British and I can't imagine they would want to do such a thing over seas even though they can't at home. Don't they try to support their Country/ Commonwealth?

If she wants a girl that bad then they can afford to try as many times as they like I'd think and surely they can afford maids to help with the childcare. I'd have had another by now if I were rich. Though Charles and Dianna didn't. I always wondered why they didn't try for one more.
It would be nice to see a little Princess but also I can imagine for many that it will be a pain to have to see the picture perfect pretty pigeon pair prince and princess in the magazines all the time. lol to all those Ps. I actually don't care about celebreties that much but still hoping they have a second boy. Prince George is so cute. It would be nice for him to have a Brother like his Dad and Uncle.

[essnce629]

My best friend was saying that Kate had a miscarriage a few months ago. Has anyone else heard that? I haven't at all.

[1+2+3boys]

It's hard to know any of that kind of thing for sure. Man it must feel strange being so in the spotlight

[maidentomother]

I am sure they would do it if they had the desire. There is no doubt in my mind. I also have no doubt they could easily keep it secret.