i'm new here and i'm in despair!

[emma07]

Hi everybody!!!
I’m new to this board and I want to share my story.
I’m in despair now!
I don’t have children at all and most of all I strived for is becoming a mother. I want to feel what is it to be a mother, to have child, take care of him and know that somebody in this world needs you very much. I guess it’s pleasant feeling …
I wanted to adopt a child. I’m from Germany and wanted to adopt a child from Russia. Due to my problems with health I can’t carry out a child myself so the only two options for me are adoption or surrogacy. I was totally against the surrogacy so I decided to adopt. I was in queu for 3 years…I gathered all the documents…I even can show you the photo ofmy boy….
here is his photo ion official site Детальна� �траница ребенка - У�ыновление в Ро��ии (http://www.usynovite.ru/child/?id=7x5ci-7e04)
And what now? the forbidden foreigners to adopt their children and the three years of torture ended with no result.
I’m in despair!
My friend also had problems with health and she took part in surrogacy program in one clinic. She said that I’m stupid and should try also this program but I didn’t want to…but now I think she was right then. Her baby is more than a year now and I have nothing.
So now I also want to try this clinic. She says that it nice. Now I’m waiting for arranging the date of arriving…

[Houseofblue]

Hi Emma, big hugs!!! I'm sorry your adoption fell through. :( Something similar happened to a friend of mine but with a happy ending...she applied to adopt a little baby boy who had yet to be born and was very excited (she had gone through many miscarriages, more than 10, and was unable to carry a child). While waiting for the child to be born, she found out she was pregnant...didn't think much of it because she always miscarried....except she didn't!! Halfway through her pregnancy, the birth mom of the baby she was going to adopt changed her mind and my friend was devastated. But...my friend was halfway through her own pregnancy too and found out she was having a boy, she was going to be getting her little boy anyway. :) Sometimes bad things happen but great things happen afterwards...hang in there!
Maybe you should post on the adoption board or infertility board, they may know more about surrogacy and all that it entails. Good luck!

[Houseofblue]

Emma, check out this message board about all things surrogacy: All Things Surrogacy - BabyCenter (http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a136645/all_things_surrogacy)

I'm sure the ladies there can help put your mind at ease!! :)

[nuthinbutpink]

Surrogacy is a great option!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope it all works out happily for you.

[emma07]

Hi Emma, big hugs!!! I'm sorry your adoption fell through. :( Something similar happened to a friend of mine but with a happy ending...she applied to adopt a little baby boy who had yet to be born and was very excited (she had gone through many miscarriages, more than 10, and was unable to carry a child). While waiting for the child to be born, she found out she was pregnant...didn't think much of it because she always miscarried....except she didn't!! Halfway through her pregnancy, the birth mom of the baby she was going to adopt changed her mind and my friend was devastated. But...my friend was halfway through her own pregnancy too and found out she was having a boy, she was going to be getting her little boy anyway. :) Sometimes bad things happen but great things happen afterwards...hang in there!
Maybe you should post on the adoption board or infertility board, they may know more about surrogacy and all that it entails. Good luck!

such a story with happy end!!!wish i also could have happy end...
i'm in another situation. i can't carry bcz doctors forbid me to get pregnant...my organism just will not cope with the pregnancy and i can die...
but maybe happy end will be when i use the surrogacy as an option.
my friend used and now she has her little angel...
she suggested me to do it together but i was against.. now i regreti didn't listen to her.

thax for the information given :happy::happy:

[emma07]

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope it all works out happily for you.

thank you so much!

[emma07]

Surrogacy is a great option!

now i also think so!

[emma07]

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope it all works out happily for you.

thanx for support!i also hope:worry:

[emma07]

Surrogacy is a great option!

now i also concider it as an option!

[emma07]

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope it all works out happily for you.

Thanx for support

[emma07]

Emma, check out this message board about all things surrogacy: All Things Surrogacy - BabyCenter (http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a136645/all_things_surrogacy)

I'm sure the ladies there can help put your mind at ease!! :)

thanx for useful inf :)

[emma07]

Hi Emma, big hugs!!! I'm sorry your adoption fell through. :( Something similar happened to a friend of mine but with a happy ending...she applied to adopt a little baby boy who had yet to be born and was very excited (she had gone through many miscarriages, more than 10, and was unable to carry a child). While waiting for the child to be born, she found out she was pregnant...didn't think much of it because she always miscarried....except she didn't!! Halfway through her pregnancy, the birth mom of the baby she was going to adopt changed her mind and my friend was devastated. But...my friend was halfway through her own pregnancy too and found out she was having a boy, she was going to be getting her little boy anyway. :) Sometimes bad things happen but great things happen afterwards...hang in there!
Maybe you should post on the adoption board or infertility board, they may know more about surrogacy and all that it entails. Good luck!

thank you very much!

[Felicidad]

You can also check here is you are considering surrogacy as an option ********* - Center for Reproductive Medicine (http://*********.net/) I saw they provide such services and it seems to me the prices are acceptable.

[emma07]

thank you so much!
i think it's great clinic and the conditions and prices are also affordable.need some time to think over.

[Felicidad]

it is very important step and you should see all pros and cons of this deal. Think everything over. Probably, I wasn't in the program of surrogacy (was in ED program) but if you have questions concerning the clinic itself I'll be glad to help you.

[Willow_O'Kiff]

Hello, dear Emma. First of all, I'm really sorry about your situation. I want to say, that everyone is choosing his own way to the dream. Your friend tried surrogacy and succeed, you tried adoption and did not succeed, but it doesn't mean that your choice was wrong, it means only that your way to your dream will be a little bit longer than hers. Don't feel guilty, don't think you're stupid. If you have already decided for yourself that you are ready for surrogacy, don't change your mind, move on and everything will be ok. By the way, my best friend was on the surrogacy program in Ukraine and succeed. So, it is rather good variant

[emma07]

thank youall for support and understanding.
didn't write for long...was so busy with alll this preparation...
if to be short i decided to use surrogacy program.
and now my surrrogate mother is pregnant for 1 omth already...i'm sohappy!can't describe emotions and feelings!!!

[Leticia]

hi, emma!!!! it is so great! my congratulations for you!!! it is great news! did you use service of the clinic or found your surrogate by yourslf?

[Petal]

Aw that's amazing news Emma, good things come to those who wait!! you may have missed out on the adoption but this child has been sent to you for a reason. Enjoy the surrogacy and you'll be soon be holding your little angel also x x

[3BoysBlessed]

I am so very sorry! I wish they would allow surrogacy here in my state, as I'd be a surrogate if I were allowed. I think you should try that and research it. It could be amazing and I'm sure that the wait would be worthwhile, now. I think that would be an excellent choice for you. I think that some women are surrogates not simply for money, but because it is a joyous gift to help another woman become a mother. If you are able to choose the woman to do this, be sure to ask her why she chooses to be a surrogate. The way she answers you will be a great way to know if she's the right one.

[3BoysBlessed]

I see that you are expecting already via surrogacy and I am so happy for you! Praying for a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery of your precious baby! Wonderful!

[Willow_O'Kiff]

thank youall for support and understanding.
didn't write for long...was so busy with alll this preparation...
if to be short i decided to use surrogacy program.
and now my surrrogate mother is pregnant for 1 omth already...i'm sohappy!can't describe emotions and feelings!!!
Great news, Emma! Congratulation. How did you find a surrogate mother?

[emma07]

hi, emma!!!! it is so great! my congratulations for you!!! it is great news! did you use service of the clinic or found your surrogate by yourslf?

i used the services of the clinic. didn't want to search for surrogate myself. i trust clinic. they have a huge database of healthy surrogate mothers. they sign agreement with the surrogate thus she can't say in the end: i don't want to give you my baby!

[emma07]

Aw that's amazing news Emma, good things come to those who wait!! you may have missed out on the adoption but this child has been sent to you for a reason. Enjoy the surrogacy and you'll be soon be holding your little angel also x x
thank you for such kind of words.

[emma07]

I see that you are expecting already via surrogacy and I am so happy for you! Praying for a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery of your precious baby! Wonderful!

thanx forall your wishes!

[Willow_O'Kiff]

i used the services of the clinic. didn't want to search for surrogate myself. i trust clinic. they have a huge database of healthy surrogate mothers. they sign agreement with the surrogate thus she can't say in the end: i don't want to give you my baby! What was the clinic and how did you find it?

[Leticia]

really great. I'm glad that women our days have changes to get pregnant with a help of reproductive technologies. I'm pregnant through ivf some through surrogacy it doesn't matter bcz final variant is - motherhood!!!!)))) I'm proud for those who didn't give up and continued their way till positive result!!!)

[emma07]

What was the clinic and how did you find it?

it is ukrainian clinic. my friend used its services and recommended me. i wrote the story abt how i was against surrogacy and she wanted to persuade me an wanted to come together there. but i refused tried to adopt but failed. and she succeeded. so i decided to follow her advice.

[emma07]

really great. I'm glad that women our days have changes to get pregnant with a help of reproductive technologies. I'm pregnant through ivf some through surrogacy it doesn't matter bcz final variant is - motherhood!!!!)))) I'm proud for those who didn't give up and continued their way till positive result!!!)

my congrats on your pregnancy? what is the term?

[Leticia]

it is good decision. it is better to use services which someone used already and succeed. Did you go there to sign some papers?

[Willow_O'Kiff]

it is ukrainian clinic. my friend used its services and recommended me. i wrote the story abt how i was against surrogacy and she wanted to persuade me an wanted to come together there. but i refused tried to adopt but failed. and she succeeded. so i decided to follow her advice.
Is everything legal?

[Leticia]

and is there the point that mother forced to give back the child and have no right to the baby in future?

[Willow_O'Kiff]

of course!!!
and surrogacy is also allowed in the country by the law! I know that surrogacy is unforbidden in UA. Just like Leticia, I wanted to find out whether there is a point in contract between you and your sm, according to which all rights on future child are yours

[emma07]

it is good decision. it is better to use services which someone used already and succeed. Did you go there to sign some papers?

yes. during the first visit we signed the agreement between us and the clinic.

[emma07]

Is everything legal?
of course!surrogaccy is officially allowed in Ukraine.

[emma07]

I know that surrogacy is unforbidden in UA. Just like Leticia, I wanted to find out whether there is a point in contract between you and your sm, according to which all rights on future child are yours
yes. when child is born the clinic has to prepare all necesarry documents for the child. they do birth certificate where we are the parents of the child.

[Willow_O'Kiff]

yes. when child is born the clinic has to prepare all necesarry documents for the child. they do birth certificate where we are the parents of the child. Have you met your surrogate mother personally?

[Kattie]

)

[hummingbird23]

and wahat is the proce of this program????

[Willow_O'Kiff]

It seems, that Emma was saying about a Ukrainian clinic. But what's the name of it, and where is it situated (City, St.) My bf wanted to maybe turn for help there Yes, we are discussing the Ukrainian clinic. What is the reason you decided to try surrogacy?

[emma07]

Have you met your surrogate mother personally?

no, personally not.
but i saw herprofile and analyses to be sure that she is healthy woman who will carry me a child.

[emma07]

It seems, that Emma was saying about a Ukrainian clinic. But what's the name of it, and where is it situated (City, St.) My bf wanted to maybe turn for help there
yes ukrainian clinic called *********. it is situated in Kyiv.

[emma07]

and wahat is the proce of this program????

the price for the program is 29900.

[hummingbird23]

the price for the program is 29900.

pretty good price.and have you personally used its services???

[Willow_O'Kiff]

no, personally not.
but i saw herprofile and analyses to be sure that she is healthy woman who will carry me a child. As I understood, you have chosen her among the clinic's database, right?

[Leticia]

29900 what? dollars, euros, pounds?

[emma07]

pretty good price.and have you personally used its services???

yes i did. i used surrogacy not so long ago and my surrogate is on the 7th week of pregnancy.

[Tara Januarson]

nice question Leticia ;) think it's euros, right?

[emma07]

As I understood, you have chosen her among the clinic's database, right?

yes you are right:flowerz:

[emma07]

29900 what? dollars, euros, pounds?

sorry. forgot to write currency.
euros of course.

[hummingbird23]

yes i did. i used surrogacy not so long ago and my surrogate is on the 7th week of pregnancy.

quite a big term!!!and why did you choose this clinic??did sb recommend it to you????

[Willow_O'Kiff]

yes you are right:flowerz: Is there a big database?

[Leticia]

@emma, I'm very glad for you, it is great that soon you will have your child))) how does your hubby feel with all this?

[emma07]

quite a big term!!!and why did you choose this clinic??did sb recommend it to you????

my friend took part in surrogacy program there not so long ago and she is mom already.

[emma07]

Is there a big database?

it is huge. one has anything to choose:giggle:

[emma07]

@emma, I'm very glad for you, it is great that soon you will have your child))) how does your hubby feel with all this?
he seems to be the happiest man in the world:running::running::running:

[Willow_O'Kiff]

it is huge. one has anything to choose:giggle: And how did you choose? What characteristics were the most important for you?

[emma07]

And how did you choose? What characteristics were the most important for you?
the doc helped me. the chose according to the necessary criterias and phenotype.

[hummingbird23]

my friend took part in surrogacy program there not so long ago and she is mom already.

so happy for you friend!!!!!whom does she have a boy or a girl???

[Willow_O'Kiff]

the doc helped me. the chose according to the necessary criterias and phenotype. Even phenotype? Then database must be really huge, if they provide choosing by phenotype. So, what was your next step after choosing sm?

[emma07]

we signed all docs. chose surrogate mom and our egg donor.payed the first part of the sum and went back home.

[hummingbird23]

my friend took part in surrogacy program there not so long ago and she is mom already.
so happy for your friend!! whom does she have a boy or a girl????

[Willow_O'Kiff]

we signed all docs. chose surrogate mom and our egg donor.payed the first part of the sum and went back home. The first part? So, the sum is divided into several parts, isn't it?

[Leticia]

usually, all clinics divide the sum if it is a really big sum, of course if it is some procedure which costs 300-400 dollars you should pay it at once.

[Willow_O'Kiff]

usually, all clinics divide the sum if it is a really big sum, of course if it is some procedure which costs 300-400 dollars you should pay it at once. I think in such case the sum is rather big to pay at once

[emma07]

so happy for your friend!! whom does she have a boy or a girl????
she has a boy:)

[emma07]

The first part? So, the sum is divided into several parts, isn't it?
yes, there are 5 stages of payment depending on the term.

[hummingbird23]

it is really convenient to pay with 5 parts, you don't feel all the load of the payment in such a case

[Willow_O'Kiff]

yes, there are 5 stages of payment depending on the term. It would be not so hard to pay such a sum when it's divided into 5 parts. And how many of them have you already paid?

[emma07]

i paid already 3 parts.

[Willow_O'Kiff]

i paid already 3 parts. How exactly is the sum divided? When to pay the first parts, when - the second and so on?

[Leticia]

also prices are divided bcz on different stages can appear different problems and program can be stopped. Of course, I wish nobody to have troubles but it is important to be ready for everything.

[hummingbird23]

and if there is some problems with the pregnancy and sb already paid 2 parts, what abt those 3 parts????one must continue paying them or stop???

[emma07]

How exactly is the sum divided? When to pay the first parts, when - the second and so on?
•4,950 euro is the first installment paid during the first visit to the clinic after signing the contract.
• The next 4,950 euro is paid after the successful attempt of artificial insemination (it may take multiple
attempts).
• Payment for transfer to surrogacy 2000 euro in the day of the pick-up.
• The next 6000 euro is the third installment paid after three months of pregnancy.
• 6000 euro is to be paid after delivery of the child.
• The final installment of 6000 euro is paid after receiving the assistant passport for the child for leaving
abroad.

[Willow_O'Kiff]

•4,950 euro is the first installment paid during the first visit to the clinic after signing the contract.
• The next 4,950 euro is paid after the successful attempt of artificial insemination (it may take multiple
attempts).
• Payment for transfer to surrogacy 2000 euro in the day of the pick-up.
• The next 6000 euro is the third installment paid after three months of pregnancy.
• 6000 euro is to be paid after delivery of the child.
• The final installment of 6000 euro is paid after receiving the assistant passport for the child for leaving
abroad.

Evrtything is really comfortable and understandable. When did you receive information from your sm? Is everything ok?

[emma07]

phoned today. everything goes well.

and what abt all of you? how are your weekends?how are you all?

[hummingbird23]

that's great!!!you are on one step closer to your dream!!!

[Leticia]

Each step is very important, so you should be careful! Do you often contact with your surrogate?

[hummingbird23]

if it were me I would like to see at least her photo

[emma07]

when i want to.i phone when i want to be sure that everything is ok and pregnancy goes smoothly.
in case that sth is wrong or sth has happened the manager should immediately inf me but hope this case will never happen.

[hummingbird23]

It is great that you can phone to you manager and ask abt the process, you feel yourself involved in the carrying a baby.
so, what abt your surrogate mother??? how is she feeling????

[Leticia]

what attitude has your hubby to surrogacy service? did he vote "for" from the very beginning or you convinced him?

[emma07]

It is great that you can phone to you manager and ask abt the process, you feel yourself involved in the carrying a baby.
so, what abt your surrogate mother??? how is she feeling????

everything is ok!thanx!

[emma07]

what attitude has your hubby to surrogacy service? did he vote "for" from the very beginning or you convinced him?
he knows that i can't conceive how much i want it.
it was the only chance. so he wasn't against it.

[hummingbird23]

he knows that i can't conceive how much i want it.
it was the only chance. so he wasn't against it.

it is really great to have husband's support, it helps much

[emma07]

it is really great to have husband's support, it helps much

don't know what would be without his help and support!!!
i couldn't bear it all...

[Leticia]

I'm glad you have good person by your side) it is really important! I also appreciate that my hubby always supports me, he even likes it)

[emma07]

I'm glad you have good person by your side) it is really important! I also appreciate that my hubby always supports me, he even likes it)

what do you mean saying that he likes it?

[Leticia]

) likes to take care about his pregnant wife) something like cooking breakfast, buy healthy products in the supermarket, says me "get dressed warmer") foot massage)

[ann5]

) likes to take care about his pregnant wife) something like cooking breakfast, buy healthy products in the supermarket, says me "get dressed warmer") foot massage)

it's fantastic!!!
value him!
he is wonderful!

[Leticia]

yes he is))) thinking about names) any suggestions?

[hummingbird23]

morning breakfast from a lovely husband-it is so nice::)))

[Leticia]

yes, you are right) he didn't do like this before so often as now)

[ann5]

yes he is))) thinking about names) any suggestions?
and what names have you already thought of?

[hummingbird23]

Yes, choosing a name is a very exciting process. The most important to pick the name which will satisfy everyone

[Leticia]

I bought book with names and its meanings to make this process easier)

[ann5]

I bought book with names and its meanings to make this process easier)

do you believe that the fate of the child depends on the given name?

[Leticia]

not at all) I think that it has no great influence to the child's life..maximum funny words which can rhyme with a name and which children can use at school, think nothing more.

[hummingbird23]

I think that there should be a name which will sound well with the last name. You know, bcz sometimes it sounds so funny that provokes different nicknames at school

[Leticia]

yes, I agree with you, it should sound good. I mostly read the book and choose nothing(((

[ann5]

no variants at all?

[hummingbird23]

try to open the page randomly and you will find this name!!:3kids::highfive::running:

[Leticia]

randomly it was girl's name Holly)) probably, we liked it. will be as a variant) But need 3 more, 1 more for girl and 2 for boys, other random ones we didn't like))))))

[hummingbird23]

randomly it was girl's name Holly)) probably, we liked it. will be as a variant) But need 3 more, 1 more for girl and 2 for boys, other random ones we didn't like))))))

trace back into the names history of your family, maybe you'll find some interesting and peculiar ones:pregnant::running:

[ann5]

i heard that it is bad to name your child after one of your relatives!!!!!!don't do this!

[Leticia]

hm...i don't know, parents often give names to their child of their parents or grandparents...why do you think it is bad idea?

[ann5]

it is said that when you name your child after some of your relative it he or she will share the same destiny with that relative.

[hummingbird23]

give the child a name which will sound well with the last name

[Leticia]

probably, I don't believe in such things like somebody's destiny bcz of the name....there are a lot of ppl with one and the same name all over the world and all of them are different and have different lives, so....we decided to take a break for a while, we have enough time to think about names before children's birth. And how are you all?

[ann5]

maybe you are right abt destiny.
i'm fine thanx a lot.

[Leticia]

we should use our mind and reality but not some mythical fairy tails :0)

[ann5]

but sometimes these fairytails come true!maybe it's only coincidence...who knows!?

[Leticia]

I don't believe in coincidence I believe in own strength and logic)

[ann5]

maybe you are right!
but sometimes it is so great to believe in fairytails!

[Leticia]

of course, all of us can believe in fairytails but important thing is not to forget about reality)

[hummingbird23]

the name is very important for every person and I believe that it is already decided which name your child will have. The point that you don't know it yet, it's not time.... but soon this moment will approach and you will certainly understand - here it is, what we were looking for:)):kissy::3kids::cheer:

[Leticia]

yes, you are right, we decided for girls already it is Holly and Silvia what do you think? and with boy's names we still have troubles)

[ann5]

think a bit and you will find the anmes for boys too.
or wate for ultrasound to be sure that you need these names:cool:

[hummingbird23]

My mother's name is Holly, how pretty:)))