Just nod & smile!

[SamS_TTCPink]

Aargghhh....just have to vent!

I just took my DS5 to his first friends birthday party with his preschool friends. All the mums had to stay too. So for 2 hours, I was the "mum with six boys" and the topic of conversation! They didn't even call me by my name, just the mum of six boys!

I got told "you obviously only had that many because you wanted a girl", got told "surely you're not having anymore then" and several times had to justify why we had six kids and how did we have all boys??!

Then there were 2 sets of mums with B B G and everyone was saying how lucky they were to have got their girl, and how of course they were going to get one girl out of three kids. One mum had 2 boys and was saying they're going to have a third but because they want 3 and don't care if it's another boy, and they wouldn't do it to just have a girl!!

Then there were PP and lots with 3 but with both boys and girls.

It was so hard not to just say actually I'm pregnant and we deliberate tried natural swaying techniques to try and get a girl, because yes, I'd love a daughter, but it doesn't make me love my boys any less nor is it why we had six children, but thank you all for your opinions and advice. 😠


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[3boys531]

Arhhhhh people are so dumb. Do they not have a brain or are they just naturally nasty. Hate it and hate been around smug people. Your not alone, there are some bitches out there that just love rubbing it in and they know exactly what they are doing when saying all this rubbish.

Sorry you were bombarded like that.

[MatildaMai]

It probably won't make you feel any better but I get treated like a freak show as well when I am out with our 6 and our eldest and youngest are girls. People say 'OMG are they ALL yours'. I feel like saying 'Ummm…. no I kidnapped them!' So annoying. I have on occasion been out with just the 4 boys (14,11 and 5yo twins) and I get the rudest comments 'oh my you've got your hands full there', 'FOUR boys - you poor thing'. And I always respond, 'Not really - they are impeccably behaved'. Which they are. I do get very tired of constantly being questioned and asked to explain myself and our family make up. Especially in front of my kids and in places like elevators and Dr's surgeries where I can't escape! Really people are so rude. And its so much worse in Australia as I never got bailed up the way I do here when we lived in London and Hong Kong. Actually in Asia my DH was treated as some sort of god to have had 4 boys. They all wanted to know his secret!

Big families are awesome. They are all just jealous!

[SamS_TTCPink]

I hate when it's said in front of the kids too, and the kids hate it so much that they're embarrassed to go out all together, especially the eldest 2. And yep, I get all those comments too, even if I'm out with just 3-4 of them.

I also hate the negativity towards boys, like you're unlucky to even get a one boy out of 3?!!? Let alone have six of them.

I must says though, at the party, DS5 was the nicest, politest child there. He didn't throw tantrums of "I want" he didn't refuse to do what was asked of them, and he always said please and thank you and as we were leaving said "thank you for having us".

And actually 2 of the girls there were horrid brats!! They threw things if they were given something that wasn't the colour they wanted, they sulked because they couldn't have cake the minute they walked in the door, they refused to join in the games or do what they were asked and demanded specific things and specific people to sit next to them and then one mum apologised that she didn't get her own way!!!??!? And no, it wasn't her birthday! She was one of the guests, and one of the PP there.


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[MatildaMai]

In my experience kids from bigger families (4+) do tend to be polite, better at sharing, taking turns listening, etc… I guess they get a lot of practice! So what you observed at the party doesn't surprise me in the least. I have to confess to having several smug moments where a woman who has made a rude comment about all my boys has to deal with one of her kids melting down, being a complete pain or running amok - while my brood behave beautifully. Especially in restaurants!

As for the negativity towards boys. I just don't get it either. We NEED boys and girls. And I really don't think one gender is better than the other. I know the stereotypes but really they are so inaccurate. I only have one alpha male, noisy, hyper, car loving boy out of 4 (and that's my eldest twin). I have 2 who are very studious, gentle and sweet, and the other is a Mr Popular and a bit of a comedian. People are always commenting about how great it is that we have a 16yo girl who can help with the younger kids. HA!!! I'd leave my 16mth old with my 14yo or 11yo boys before I'd leave her with the 16yo girl. The house could burn down and if its not on FB she wouldn't notice! Whereas my 14yo & 11yo are so engaged with the baby and read to her and play with her. It's gorgeous.

[Mulberry Smurf]

Sorry those ladies were being horrid to you. You aren't a freak show at all sounds like you've raised a wonderful family. Hope you get your pink bundle too. This post makes me want another child even more, hearing how nice it is to have a bigger family and the way the children are considerate towards one another. Those ignorant people will hopefully see just how wonderful your children are and learn to keep the mindless opinions To themselves. I am a mum of all boys too and always get 'you must have your hands full!' I either ignore them or say no why? Having boys is as much a blessing as girls they're all people at the end of the day! Xx

[lfc_sarah]

Wow some people are so rude!

Mines a different situation because we only have the one but even though I'm 26, I look quite young. I get the whole you don't look old enough to have a 5 year old blah blah. Just shut up and concentrate on your own lives! O


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[SamS_TTCPink]

I get that too lfc_sarah! We were 18 when we had our eldest and we look younger than we are too! When they say "you're not old enough to have a 15yr old, or 6 kids etc" I always say "well that's funny, cause I do". 😜


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[lfc_sarah]

Haha I might start replying with that! I just don't understand judgemental people at all! Why they feel the need to say anything at all! xxx


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[mama3boys]

I get those comments too. I try to respond nicely but I'd love to be rude just once. I don't understand how people don't think those comments are rude. Or hurtful.

[SamS_TTCPink]

I say it nicely mama3boys! 😉


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[Petal]

Gosh some people really are clueless arnt they, please don't take any notice, im sure you are a wonderful mum and your boys are a credit to you and your husband. People like that really wind me up, when I was over 20 wks pg with ds3 I asked a friend what I should get my dh for his birthday, she replied 'a baby girl', she meant it as a joke but I didn't take it that way and was so so upset for my boy. Weve only just started talking again after almost 3 years ;-)

[Kittybear]

I genuinely think people are generally just stupid and inconsiderate; that is why they say such thoughtless, hurtful things and more than likely don't even realise that they are stupid and hurtful. They will pass this negativity/ hurtful thoughtlessness onto their kids, and then they will be surprised when their kids act like little brats. It sounds like your boy is a credit to you and showed off how good his mama's parenting skills are. Just ignore them Hun, they clearly don't have enough going on in their own lives to be so fascinated by yours ;) xx

[foxymrsg]

Urgh people can be so vile! Keep your chin up hun you are obviously a fanastic mummy to have such well behaved big family. Good for you. I'd bet you any money those people are unhappy as when you truly happy inside you don't go out of your way to make othes feel bad! I so hope you are getting your pink bundle this time :)

[girliedreamz]

I've only got the 3 boys, but I get that too. I live in an area where large families are very rare. The worst is when I take the three grocery shopping... and people see what a huge cart of food it takes to feed our family for a week. Everyone has a comment about so many boys then.

[WantingPink]

I really don't understand why anyone would think it is their place to comment on your family. You all are much nicer than I will be when the comments come. I am sure if your kids are around then you need to be a little nicer. We need to start a thread called "Smart ass answers to smart ass comments". Like when someone says "you have your hands full"... "I would rather have my hands full than empty". Or when people say "you have 6 kids certainly you aren't going to have anymore" to which I would say "yes actually, we are planning to having 6 girls next". People can be so rude... calling you the Mom of 6 boys like you don't have a name??

[flowerlily]

Lol WantingPink!
That's a really nice thought and just made my day!:D

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[stephk]

Totally agree with what has already been said and I admire you for being able to stay calm and polite (not sure if I would be able to), and also having a large family. It is a wonderful thing and I bet your boys are all beautiful and so well behaved. Not like the ignorant bigots who had such pathetic sad lives tht they had to be so disrespectful, rude and downright mean.

Wantingpink- sounds like a brilliant idea to me!

[atomic sagebrush]

Wow that was totally out of order.

I honestly think that some people think we are given lots of boys as some sort of punishment and they are more deserving if they have a PP.

[Kelissi]

I get comments a lot on the way I parent my children, particularly breastfeeding, and a lot of the time I just smile and let my awesome kids speak for themselves. However, having some replies in your back pocket can be pretty fun - for me, "When is he going to wean?" is a frequent question. My answer is usually, "Well, I hope before he goes to college, or he'd better choose somewhere close to home!"

My best friend is currently trying for baby number seven. I am so, so glad that she is putting seven healthy, happy humans in the world. I come from a very judgmental family, though, and have come to see judgmental people for what I think they often are - trying desperately to justify the decisions they've made by making themselves feel "better" than someone else. All it shows is bitterness, to me. The people I know who are truly happy don't need to prove it to themselves by making others unhappy.

Sounds to me like you have a pretty good grasp on all of this (and your skin probably got pretty thick around Baby #4, I bet - that seems to be when the "Oh my gosh, are they ALL yours?!" comments start rearing their head for most of the mommas I know). Smiling, nodding, and letting them keep their pettiness for themselves while you let your family shower you and that growing babe with love shows what a lovely person you are - and, as far as I'm concerned, we need way more lovely people in this world, so keep at it, Momma. <3

[aidansmum]

Some people are really hopeless and don't know how to be silent when there've got nothing good to say! Sorry you had to hear that. I find big families beautiful and if they're all boys and all girls, it doesn't make any difference to me, some people just want to have lots of kids regardless of gender and people shouldn't just assume you have a big family because you're trying for a girl, it's rude, specially if it's said in front of the boys, then it's just senseless. But, we've all been there, I got 3 boys and I already had my fill of these 'comments', I can imagine how you feel! x

[wonder woman73]

Bet you have a wonderful, beautiful family!! I sometimes get dumb comments too! My favorite come back to" You have your hands full." I say back, "Yeah full of love and I wouldn't have it any other way!"

[SamS_TTCPink]

I'll have to use that comeback one day wonder woman73! 😊


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