View Full Version : To those who got a girl or having a girl after many boys do you hear this
6bluewant1pink
April 13th, 2014, 11:51 AM
I see you finally got your girl! I heard that a few times yesterday at a festival me,dh,and the kids went to. I heard that from people I haven't seen in a while. They looked at my baby assuming he was a girl. I think cause he had a gender neutral outfit on,and he's just so pretty like that :bigsmile: lol. I had to say no it's 7 boys. Then they said y'all gonna try again, or wow. I don't know why but the comment you finally got your girl bothered me. To those who finally got a girl after many boys do you hear that?
nuthinbutpink
April 13th, 2014, 11:59 AM
I hear it with my son nearly every time we go somewhere.
I can see why it would bother some but if I am honest, I respond, Yes, we did! I did try for a boy. I did want a boy. It is what it is and it doesn't mean that I don't love my girls to the moon and back but I did want a boy.
I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that yes, I did want a boy or girl and yes, we got him or her. That's just my reality I guess.
Your son must be beautiful! Congrats!
mommymachine
April 13th, 2014, 12:51 PM
I hear it with my son nearly every time we go somewhere.
I can see why it would bother some but if I am honest, I respond, Yes, we did! I did try for a boy. I did want a boy. It is what it is and it doesn't mean that I don't love my girls to the moon and back but I did want a boy.
I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that yes, I did want a boy or girl and yes, we got him or her. That's just my reality I guess.
Your son must be beautiful! Congrats!
I agree completely. I had no trouble admitting I did want a girl and that I was thrilled when I got her. I just get a little uneasy about those comments when my boys are around, because I worry about how they will take it, but then I remember that my oldest was hoping for a girl just as much as I was, and that he was just as thrilled when she came along. However, once out of the blue, my DS2 asked me if I loved Claire more because she was a girl...which I assured him absolutely not...so I am not sure if the comments of others caused that inquiry. Its so hard to know sometimes what goes through our children's heads when people say things.
Mulberry Smurf
April 13th, 2014, 01:28 PM
I saw a family out today. 6 boys. I said to hubby wow look 6 boys! Hubby said yeh it's a good place to take them all to for food here. And that was it. No judgement. :) love seeing large families of all one gender! Finally getting your girl/boy comments are so ignorant and dismissive of the other children :( xx
snipsnsnails
April 13th, 2014, 02:56 PM
Yes, I get it all the time. We were on vacation in the Bahamas and random people would say is it finally a girl? I would smile and say yes, we are so blessed to get to experience both now. I haven't had any rude comments and do proudly say yes I wanted a girl to complete our family and try something new.
atomic sagebrush
April 13th, 2014, 03:02 PM
The only thing I really don't like is when they look right at Suzy and say "I feel sorry for YOU." That, I think is not a very nice thing to do. I also admit freely that I wanted a girl!
6bluewant1pink
April 13th, 2014, 04:23 PM
Oh the people that made the comments do know I want a girl. I guess it bother me because I knew what was gonna be said after I said its 7 boys.
aidansmum
April 13th, 2014, 06:14 PM
When I fell pregnant with DS3 I made no secret I wanted it to be a girl, but I just went about telling people 'it's a boy, don't even hope. I'm a boy making machine, I don't produce girls', and I guess that since I had that attitude right from the start no one hassled me when I told them it was indeed a BOY, so I could just say 'see? Told you so!'. You just have to keep a sense of humour and be forgiving, you hear everything and most things are well meant, even though sometimes they bother the hell out of you!
SamS_TTCPink
April 13th, 2014, 06:52 PM
When people see DS6 they always call him a girl and we get comments like that. He is always in blue or "boy" type clothes, usually with "mums little man" or something on it but he has gorgeous blonde surfy curls to his shoulders so we always get that too. When I say no his a boy, most of the time they're sorry and then I get other dumb comments and sometimes I don't correct them and just skip and say yep and walk away cause it's easier than hearing the 6 boys comments.
It does affect the kids though, my DS2 said to me "if I was a girl would you have stopped having kids?" He actually felt bad for not being a girl!! I said "of course not! We weren't even hoping for a specific gender when we had you as we had always wanted more kids anyway. And we love having all you boys so you can all play and relate to each other"
He would love a sister and he knows I'd love a daughter but I've explained that it's not at the expense of any of them. I've also spoken to him a little about swaying as he is very clued in to what I do and had many questions about the change of diet, but I did it in a very relaxed way so he doesn't realise the effort were making to try for a girl, just in case it's not! 😉
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maidentomother
April 13th, 2014, 07:12 PM
Mumofsix, every post you make convinces me you must be a fantastic mum! I love your honesty with your son. :)
SamS_TTCPink
April 13th, 2014, 07:32 PM
Aww.. Thank you maidentomother. 😊💜
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SamS_TTCPink
April 13th, 2014, 07:38 PM
My DS2 (almost 12) and I are very close. 💛
I'm probably too open and honest with him sometimes, but I think it's why he is also very open and honest with me (maybe sometimes too much when he tells me all the goss at school. Lol)
He is am amazing young man and pays close attention to me and seems to know when I need some help with dinner, or housework and just offers, and gives me a hug when he just knows I need one and he is so good with his brothers and I am so truly blessed to have him. ❤️❤️
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maidentomother
April 13th, 2014, 09:04 PM
That is what I dream of with my kids. <3
aidansmum
April 13th, 2014, 10:50 PM
I always hear about the closeness one has with her daughters but I can honestly say my boys are very open with me, specially DS2, he actually called me once for support because there was a girl throwing herself at him (he was 17!) and he was trying really hard not to cheat on his girlfriend of 3 years and needed someone to talk to to put the brakes on and the fact that he chose me shows he sees me as a big friend, not only his mum, and that is beyond special. DS1 also came to me to ask about drugs once, and I know how lucky I am to have them trust me that much. I heard that mothers and daughters tend to have a very close relationship but I can't complain that I don't already have that from my boys. DS3 is too young (only 3) but I do hope we will have that same relationship, even though I'm older now and might not be the 'cool' mum I used to be when DS1 and DS2 were younger (had them at 16 and 19 years of age, I was like a big sister I guess). I am 40 now, hopefully DS3 will still get the 'chilled' side of me :)
Rainbow baby
April 14th, 2014, 07:57 AM
I myself made the mistake of calling a set of twin girls.. boys :o... On the other side of the fence you feel absolutely terrible.. It isn't meant to be an insult at all... don't take it the wrong way seriously..these two little girls were accompanied by there big brothers and I assumed and visually was convinced they were in fact boys! They looked like little boys and near identical to there older brothers. I am not sorry at all, not long ago we used to dress the little ones up in dresses and curl their hair no matter gender!! Put any kid in a yellow suit with the same shoulder length hair as every other child honestly really who is to know if they have a hot dog or a hamburger and what's more what does it matter!
SamS_TTCPink
April 14th, 2014, 08:51 AM
I don't get upset when DS6 is mistaken for a girl, he is gorgeous with long blonde curls, it's the comments about the six boys when I correct them that drive me crazy! Or if I don't correct them the comments about how we can stop now we 'got our girl' and buy a TV. 😠😜
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atomic sagebrush
April 14th, 2014, 11:57 AM
I always hear about the closeness one has with her daughters but I can honestly say my boys are very open with me, specially DS2, he actually called me once for support because there was a girl throwing herself at him (he was 17!) and he was trying really hard not to cheat on his girlfriend of 3 years and needed someone to talk to to put the brakes on and the fact that he chose me shows he sees me as a big friend, not only his mum, and that is beyond special. DS1 also came to me to ask about drugs once, and I know how lucky I am to have them trust me that much. I heard that mothers and daughters tend to have a very close relationship but I can't complain that I don't already have that from my boys. DS3 is too young (only 3) but I do hope we will have that same relationship, even though I'm older now and might not be the 'cool' mum I used to be when DS1 and DS2 were younger (had them at 16 and 19 years of age, I was like a big sister I guess). I am 40 now, hopefully DS3 will still get the 'chilled' side of me :)
this is my experience as well where I am very close with my 22 and 18 year oldl and I am honestly a bit befuddled when people go on and on about how they will never have a close relationship with their sons.
Rosie85
April 14th, 2014, 12:27 PM
I too feel like I am going to have close relationships with my boys. We are very open and honest about everything with them and think communication is super important. You can never start too early! I love how independent boys can be but I also love how my boys need their mommy. I honestly haven't gotten many comments on having all boys. I also don't get out much though either! haha
Rosie85
April 14th, 2014, 12:28 PM
The comment I always do get however is, oh are you going to try one more time for a girl?? argh!!! Yes we want one more kid, whether it is a boy or a girl, but yes I would love it to be a girl.
6bluewant1pink
April 16th, 2014, 01:01 PM
The comment I always do get however is, oh are you going to try one more time for a girl?? argh!!! Yes we want one more kid, whether it is a boy or a girl, but yes I would love it to be a girl.
Oh yes I get that comment lots of times. Matter fact at the festival my dh cousin asked were we gonna try again first she asked me I said maybe then she had a nerve to ask my dh he said h no which he said after our first boy :wink: lol.
Leebug
April 16th, 2014, 03:22 PM
I wish people would just be nice & respectful of others.think before u speak & potentially hurt someones feelings or even worse a little kid.If u HAVE to make a comment stick to "What a beautiful family" or "What a cutie".no one gets offended-no gender screw ups & u always get a smile or a "thank u".I have gotten "wow 2 girls what a handful".A good smack across the face was first instinct but I sadly refrained.
Rosie85
April 16th, 2014, 04:05 PM
I have always tried to be sensitive to peoples family make-up. I never say anything I wouldn't want to hear myself. I don't even ask people I am close with if they are having more kids or not out of fear. haha
lyngostar
April 16th, 2014, 04:43 PM
I get that all the time when I'm walking down the street with the double pushchair. The most annoying thing for me is that it's the same women who says it and it's on a weekly basis. Every Tuesday I pass by her and every Tuesday she says "oh you've got ur hands full there." Grrrr. I usually reply with, no I haven't my boys are good. But if I'm in a hurry I just mumble in agreement with her since she never listens anyway.
Peebell85
April 17th, 2014, 08:58 PM
I HATE when people assume that a mothers relationship wont be as good with a boy as it would be with a girl, 3 out of my 4 best friends hate their mothers and do anything to avoid having to see them. A good relationship is just that, a relationship where any two people put in the effort to get along and love each other, despite age or gender. I cannot stand that boys are somehow second rate to girls. Dont get me wrong, I would love a little girl, but just for the experience, not because I think it will be better, or so I can dress her up... Such a simple and ignorant way to think. Every child is a blessing.
Mrsandmama
April 17th, 2014, 09:07 PM
I just found out today that I'm having a girl after two boys and the first thing I got was "are you going to try to even it out now?" really people? But I'm waiting for the other comments to flood in.
kitkat18
April 17th, 2014, 09:29 PM
Congrats mrsandmama!! X
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coocoobananas
April 17th, 2014, 09:41 PM
Lol! Mrs! It's never good enough is it??
But if you did go for 4 you'd be harassed for having sooo many children! You just can't win!
Took the boys for a haircut And got the typical '3 boys!!wow'
Yah and I'm pregnant again, take that!! Lol
motherofboys
April 18th, 2014, 08:22 AM
I haven't got there (dare I say yet?) But I get lots of "will you try again for a girl?" And I have to admit I'm not ready to say openly "yes I want a girl" I say things like "we are not sure if we will have more" or "nooo, I'm happy with boys" and even "I do want more, but hopefully another boy, complete the 5 a side football team. Every mans dream, his own football team" and "god I wouldn't know what to do with a girl, I always hear I'm lucky to have all boys so best stuck to what I know"
I feel like admitting I want a girl would be like saying I only had so many boys to get a girl. Like "oh I'd have stopped at 2 if I had one of each" and I hoped ds4 would be a girl as dh had agreed to 5 and I thought if I got a girl and then went on to have another baby it would be proof that I didn't keep having kids to get a girl. I hate the fact that people will be looking at me with pity because being a woman I obviously must be desperate for a girl. I have been laughed at and everything for having boys. And even asked if I was disappointed to be having a boy when I announced that ds1 was a boy!!
I get very defensive of boys and all boy families.
Maybe if I ever get to the place of "you finally got your girl" I can relax about it and be like "yeah, and she is super lucky to have all those big brothers to protect her"
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Myloves
April 18th, 2014, 11:20 AM
I must say, I proudly told everyone how grateful I was to get a girl after they asked me the usual 'are you happy to get a girl after two boys?'
Never saw the big deal in that comment... Then again I've had way more negative comments with DD than with any of DSs.
My baby boy (who turned 7 in Feb) is my little buddy, my adorable, charming sweetie. My oldest son has always been my hardest to raise, but lately him and I have been getting along. ;) Who says boys can't be close with their mums?
WillowsGirl
April 18th, 2014, 02:32 PM
People will say things no matter what. Seriously. My youngest gets called a girl all the time. My DH always makes a point of correcting them, in which case they will ask if we will try for another. My friend has a boy and girl and is having her third. Someone asked her why she would have a third when she already had the "perfect" family. So it really doesn't matter. People like to stick their noses in your business no matter what lol.
hotdogz&boyz
April 18th, 2014, 11:59 PM
I hear that all.the.time. I'm not sure why, it's not even like having two boys is *that many.* I guess I could see it more (although it would still be rude, don't get me wrong) if I did have six or seven sons before my daughter. But I only have two! I only rolled the dice three times, I'd say there was no "finally" about it.
I will say "Sure I'm happy we got a girl." But I also usually add "We would have been happy with a boy too." Because I do believe that is the case. Yes, I wanted a girl out of my four children. But I wasn't placing all my eggs in my #3 basket. And I certainly didn't feel it was a "finally" thing.
I'm not too offended, unless they say "At least you got your girl." That one makes me nuts. At least what?? My boys were consolation prizes? Waiting for "my girl"? I think not! I will actually come back at people who say that ridiculous comment. Usually with just "And I got my boys too!" And if they continue, I absolutely tell them that I wished for brothers and feel incredibly blessed that we got them. I just hate the implication that I was only having children to have a girl. We never planned less than four kids, no matter what we had.
And when people find out we are having another (down the line), they automatically either ask why or assume we want another girl. When, in fact, I have very little gender preference (the very slight amount I do have is more for space issues than actual desire. It *would* be more convenient to have two kids in each room, since our house is small. But we will deal either way! I like our boy name better anyway!)
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