So sad, I feel like my sway is doomed :(

[Flowergirl]

Is there anyway to turn this around? I'm on day 42 of my 2nd clomid cycle. Definitely not pregnant and looking like I potentially didn't even ovulate at all on 100mg clomid :(

My doctor has prescribed 150mg for my next cycle to see if that brings on ov (and has welcomed provera to bring on AF whenever I would like it) however for very good reasons Atomic is sceptical and worried about me taking 150mg clomid without any monitoring and with the risks of OHSS and multiples etc. The risks are very real so I appreciate and value her concern.

I'm now just feeling in limbo though. I don't even want my next cycle to start because I just don't know what to do!

To make matters even more confusing I have been oddly gaining weight since starting clomid which my body may be needing to ovulate but it makes me feel like the past 7 months of being on the LE diet and supps and losing weight (that didn't really have to lose) has all been in vain.

I feel like my sway is doomed and just hanging in here by a thread. Please let me know if you have any ideas on how I can get back on track to conceiving my very longed for DD.

Thanks to anyone who replies xx

[Dreamofpink]

Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry that things have gone this way for you. Is your lack of ov purely down to being underweight?

I can totally identify with you as this happened to me last year. I too was on the LE diet for quite a while, I didn't take Atomic's advice and lost too much weight & my ov. I ended up on Clomid & failed to ov on my first round. I got pg the next cycle but had to gain 2lb in order to ov.

Obviously my over-strict sway led to ds3 - I could've done a very light sway & still been blessed with him. I have no regrets as I have learned a lot & have the most gorgeous little boy in my life now. I had more GD with ds2 so totally understand deep desire for a DD. Have you considered stepping back from ttc for a while to give yourself chance to get into a better place for swaying again? I know when I was in your shoes there was no way I could've even considered that. However with hindsight, I know that had it been my last chance ever I may've thought about it. I'm sure Atomic will have given you the very best advice, all I can say is listen to her & act on it. You'll have all the support you need here & please don't feel alone. You can guarantee that someone's been in your shoes before! BIG hugs x x

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[aidansmum]

Sorry you're feeling that way. If there's any consolation Clomid sways very strong pink, so don't worry about putting on a bit of weight. Try not to stress yourself out, that's way worse than a little weight gain. Clomid will do its thing and I pray you get a pink bfp next cycle. x

[kitkat18]

Sorry flower girl great advice from the ladies above, I would not worry too much other women have still conceived girls gaining a little weight as atomic says you have no shot at DG if you can't get pregnant thinking of you hope you get a BFP!! Come join us in Christmas babies ttc pink xxx

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[Flowergirl]

Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry that things have gone this way for you. Is your lack of ov purely down to being underweight?

I can totally identify with you as this happened to me last year. I too was on the LE diet for quite a while, I didn't take Atomic's advice and lost too much weight & my ov. I ended up on Clomid & failed to ov on my first round. I got pg the next cycle but had to gain 2lb in order to ov.

Obviously my over-strict sway led to ds3 - I could've done a very light sway & still been blessed with him. I have no regrets as I have learned a lot & have the most gorgeous little boy in my life now. I had more GD with ds2 so totally understand deep desire for a DD. Have you considered stepping back from ttc for a while to give yourself chance to get into a better place for swaying again? I know when I was in your shoes there was no way I could've even considered that. However with hindsight, I know that had it been my last chance ever I may've thought about it. I'm sure Atomic will have given you the very best advice, all I can say is listen to her & act on it. You'll have all the support you need here & please don't feel alone. You can guarantee that someone's been in your shoes before! BIG hugs x x

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Dreamofpink, your reply made me cry! In a good way, it feels so good to be understood. It's such a helpless place when you get to this point so your empathy has really meant a lot :) I do believe I probably didn't have consistent ov prior to starting my sway because I'd only just weaned DS#2 from breastfeeding for two years and only just started getting AF back so this coupled with the weightloss and dropping to a BMI of 18 I had quite quickly on LE meant I stopped ovulating (my cycle before clomid was 46 days). The frustrating this is I'd been doing the upper limits so eating 1800-2000 cals daily and no exercise so I don't know what I could have done differently. It has been for a prolonged period and I've only had about 3 or 4 cheats in that whole time so I guess I've been pretty strict.. But that's only coming from a place of deep desire.

I'm not entirely sure what Atomic wants me to do so I am a little confused as to what my next steps should be. I think she's rather I got another medical opinion about the clomid and lack of monitoring and she doesn't want me to worry about losing the weight I've gained just now but I don't really know what to do re: TTC.

If I listen to my heart (and God) I do agree that it's time to step away for a little bit and allow myself some time without this sway being in the background of my thoughts throughout each day. It's so hard to listen to that instinct though after investing SO much over 28 long weeks of missing Christmas feasts, New Year's Eve drinks, your children's birthday cakes etc. I've really put everything I could into this and to walk away without a BFP to show for it is hard.. To have a DD is my most deepest wish though and I don't want to compromise that so if taking a break gives me more of a chance for this dream to be realised then I think I'm prepared to do that.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your experience. I'm tearing up again just thinking about how you know this place and that I'm not totally alone. Thank you xx

[Flowergirl]

Sorry you're feeling that way. If there's any consolation Clomid sways very strong pink, so don't worry about putting on a bit of weight. Try not to stress yourself out, that's way worse than a little weight gain. Clomid will do its thing and I pray you get a pink bfp next cycle. x

Thank you Aidansmum. I so appreciate your uplifting words.. You are right. I'm sure me stressing over all this isn't a good thing and I should feel a little more confident considering I am taking clomid. I guess I'm just thinking if I'm not ovulating on 100mg clomid and Atomic (rightly) would prefer I didn't take 150mg then I don't really have any chance to fall pregnant anyway. I did have a read online and it looks like weight gain on clomid isn't unusual at all and this could be purely what's happening to me (I wonder if this kind of weight gain is read by your body differently to weight gained by eating healthy fats and higher cals?).. I think I just feel really in limbo and unsure on where to go from here to have the best chance of conceiving pink. Going to try to lose the stress though, whatever that takes! Thank you for the reminder I so needed xx

[Flowergirl]

Sorry flower girl great advice from the ladies above, I would not worry too much other women have still conceived girls gaining a little weight as atomic says you have no shot at DG if you can't get pregnant thinking of you hope you get a BFP!! Come join us in Christmas babies ttc pink xxx

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I want to kitkat but it looks like I'm potentially not even ovulating on clomid so not sure I can pretend to myself I have a chance of TTC :( I think my next step is to either have a break from swaying & TTC for a bit and get a fresh start later down the track or see if I can be monitored on 100mg clomid to double check I'm really not ovulating on that dose. My BBT chart and the fact that I'm on day 42 now would lead my doctor (and me) to believe that it's not happening but I've not had any monitoring via blood tests or ultrasound so we don't really know how it's affecting me and if taking 150mg is the answer. If it wasn't a health risk I'd just try the 150mg my doctor had prescribed but I trust Atomics insight and advice so don't want to just jump into it. Anyway honey, I'll keep you posted and pop my head in to see you you're going with your pink journey :) xx

[kitkat18]

Okay flower girl sorry this has happened to you!! Hope you get your pink bundle you really deserve it :) after getting your body sorted and taking a break to ovulate xxxx

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[Mulberry Smurf]

Do you weigh enough to ovulate naturally do you think? When I had an ed my periods went away just wondering if the diet has caused you to stop ovulating? I don't know if things are 'that simple' but just a thought? Good luck with everything I so hope that you get your dd. You really deserve her xx

[Flowergirl]

Do you weigh enough to ovulate naturally do you think? When I had an ed my periods went away just wondering if the diet has caused you to stop ovulating? I don't know if things are 'that simple' but just a thought? Good luck with everything I so hope that you get your dd. You really deserve her xx

Aww thank you Mulberry Smurf, I really hope I do too.

No, I would have no hope of ovulating naturally at the moment purely based on my weight and prolonged swaying. Without a doubt it's been due to my change of diet, supp's and now having an underweight BMI (which is now creeping up again potentially due to clomid). I guess the difficult thing is that the way for me to increase my fertility now is to reverse some of the swaying I've done all this time so I feel like I would be convincing my body that times are now good for a boy. I distinctly remember having to gain a little before conceiving both of my sons so that is hard for me to overlook.

What is an 'ed' that stopped you from getting your period MS? x

[Mulberry Smurf]

Eating disorder. I didn't eat anything other than pot noodles or crisps when I was a teenager for a year or so due to being depressed about a family situation and that caused my periods to stop I believe. Although I haven't officially been diagnosed with that.

I reckon it may be worth allowing the clomid to help yu regain some weight as it does still heavily sway pink. If that helps you ovulate then maybe you still have a chance of your dg xx

[Dreamofpink]

Bumping for Atomic :)

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[Flowergirl]

Thank you Dreamofpink, any bit of Atomic insight is so welcomed! xx

Wow Mulberry Smurf, it goes to show that good and varied nutrition is so important for maintaining ov & AF.

The more I think about it the more I do feel like its a bloated and fluid retention type of weight gain and most probably from the clomid. Particularly because the weight gain isn't actually helping me get more fertile so it's not making me "healthier" IYKWIM?

Day 44 today. I collected my prescription for "progesterone therapy" yesterday and started the tablets to bring on AF.. My husband will support me either way but I can see he'd really rather I didn't give up TTC after all these months so I think I'm going to just keep eating LE and try another cycle on 100mg clomid and just see what happens. xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I know we talked about this already but just wanted to send (((hugs))) your way and as much pink dust as I got!

[Flowergirl]

Thank you Atomic! I'm on day 52 now and my last day of the ten days of taking primolut N (progesterone) so we'll see if AF arrives. I've now gained 4.5kg since starting clomid & primolut N so only 2 kilos lower then when I started :( I feel like this weight gain on the meds is getting so out of control - never ever in my whole life have I gained so much weight so quickly. I'm still doing LE the same I was before when I was maintaining but that just feels like lost cause now.. Do I even bother??

It's the worst knowing you need these hormone therapies but at the same time feeling like they're totally undoing your entire sway :(

[Flowergirl]

Thank you Cherrim, I needed to hear that xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

LE Diet still sways pink even without the weight loss aspect. It's just one thing that may help, but we've seen people get girls even on HE Diet with weight gain! It is not a dealbreaker and the Clomid does sway pink all on its own.