Anyone else in early PG and haven't told family??

[Houseofblue]

We usually don't tell anyone we're PG til we're 12 weeks (b/c of m/c history), but I still usually tell my mom and sister as soon as I get a bfp. Well this time I haven't told anyone except my best friend...months ago my mom found my ovulation sticks when she was babysitting and I could tell by her voice she wasn't happy we want(ed) another child (she is worried about one of our sons who is special needs not getting enough attention, believe me he gets the MOST attention!)...my mom has always been supportive in the past until now, so anyway I'm not telling her yet. Dh's parents, we never tell them until 12 weeks because they were only happy about DS1 and then with our last 2 they couldn't even force a smile (they actually said "is this a joke?").

It sucks feeling like no one is going to be happy for you. I feel like the saving grace will be if it's a girl dh's parents will change their tune (they have 4 grandsons and always made it clear they really wanted a granddaughter)...my mom doesn't care about gender (she has a granddaughter, my bro's kid, and anyway she sort of favors boys). Just had a long convo with my sister (who I'm close to) and just couldn't bring myself to tell her- she is normally one of the first to know, feeling really guilty. :( I just have so much going on right now and can't deal.

[Rosie85]

I am kind of in the same boat. I don't look forward to telling a lot of people because they won't be happy about it. I know if it ends up being a girl they would all be excited but if it's another boy..nope. My mom knows we are trying soon and she is excited and my SIL knows. I probably won't tell anyone else though, they are all debbie downers. When I start showing is when I will be forced, ha. sorry you have family that is like that, it's so sad.

[unwirklich]

I usually blab right away, I'm horrible lol My last 4 pregnancies were on facebook within 5 minutes. Though that made my loss in Nov. super hard. Everyonnne knew, and I had to explain it to everyone. I'm so waiting until after we see a HB this time.

I did experience some negativity on my last announce too, some friends that are also trying to conceive and had been trying longer than I have. Honestly, I have no intent to tell anyone who wasn't happy or at least supportive last time directly next time I am pregnant. Let them find out through the grape vine.

[SamS_TTCPink]

We don't tell anyone until we just can't hide it any longer. Our family and friends are so against us having anymore children, in fact having children in general because it's been horrible each and every time, and once we tell people life is hell!! They're always so disgusted and we're looked down on even more than usual!! It's horrible. It actually makes me physically sick when I know it's time to actually tell people. With DS6 I was over 6mths and even then I txt my parents to tell them (and they live 5mins away).

The only person who knows is DS2 because he found out yesterday. He had his suspicions but he had my phone yesterday and saw a pregnancy app I have which when opened says "welcome Sam..you are weeks/days pregnant". He walked in my room and said "soooo....you're 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant" 😜


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[sugarNspice]

I'm 20 weeks, starting to really show, and still haven't told many people yet. I have told a couple of close friends who I knew would be supportive if I had another m/c, and have been so glad that I did that, b/c it was really nice to have someone to call/text about my anxiety about ultrasounds, etc.

But we still haven't even told our kids yet, even though I think people are beginning to notice the changes in my body.
It was excruciatingly hard to tell them about my late loss, and I *really* don't want to go through the same thing again... At the same time, so many families in my neighborhood/demographic have one or two kids (so many onlies in DD1's class) that I feel like our three will be met with shock/disapproval. And I know my parents will either be critical for financial reasons, or say, "hope it's a boy" (which is pretty funny, since *we* wanted another girl). I'm so nervous and anxious after so many losses (and the fact that I'm still pregnant and that the baby is still alive seems like a total miracle and I am very grateful) that I just don't want to hear any negativity from anyone right now.

Anyway, I think it's fine to wait as long as you feel you need to wait. I'm not sure that I'm going to announce this, ever--at some point people will either notice the belly, or notice that I'm carrying around a newborn, and their feelings about this really aren't as important to me as my own needs or anxieties. I certainly do have to tell my kids--don't want the news coming from a classmate or a nosy neighbor--and I still struggle with how and when to do this. I keep thinking I'd like to wait until I'm feeling lots of movement so that I have daily reassurance that the baby is still alive (anterior placenta means I'm not feeling much yet, though some). And I guess I have to tell my parents and DH's at some point, though this again feels like a difficult decision.

But I think if you're not sure whether or not to wait, it *always* makes sense to wait--what's most important is your emotional health and the health of the baby, and these two things aren't totally unrelated.

[Houseofblue]

I just wanna give a group :hugs: to everyone....if others aren't going to be supportive or happy for us, then we can be for each other! Thank goodness for this board!! xo xo ladies

[WantingPink]

Yes I feel like I am in the same boat. I am not going to tell anyone till probably about 13 weeks. After we get the fetal DNA screening back and we know the gender and baby is healthy. Will probably tell everyone on Mothers day. I am planning a pregnancy and gender reveal all in one. I am not sure if people will be happy or not. I know everyone was over the moon with DD because there were no GDs on either side of our family. This one will probably be a boy so not sure how they will take the news??

[SamS_TTCPink]

I'm hoping we will be able to announce the pregnancy and that we're having a girl at the same time too. I think being a girl, as ridiculous as it is, that it will "lessen the blow" a little. 😕


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[unwirklich]

I think you'll get lots of "now are you going to stop?" comments. My sister has 7, I felt so bad for her, everyone like wanted to confirm she got her tubes cut after number 7. Though 6 was a premie and nearly died, on her families side it was genuine concern for the babies she was having. Her body just couldn't do it anymore. My husband's grama had 17 though, 17 completely healthy and well-adjusted kids. Mostly boys. :) I believe its 12 to 5 and 5 or 6 of those boys were in a row, so it does happen.

[mommymachine]

I tell my mom right away as I can not keep anything from her. I tell my bff right away too. she is soooo supportive. I tell my dad soon after. The rest of the family and in-laws find out about 12-13 weeks (after that first ultrasound usually) and outside family finds out after the 18-22 ultrasound. I don't get a lot of support anymore. So I wait longer and longer to tell people each time.

[SamS_TTCPink]

I think you'll get lots of "now are you going to stop?" comments. My sister has 7, I felt so bad for her, everyone like wanted to confirm she got her tubes cut after number 7. Though 6 was a premie and nearly died, on her families side it was genuine concern for the babies she was having.

Ohh, I'm going to get a lot more comments than just that!!?! 😉

My parents take it as a direct attack on them just to deliberately get to them and upset them. I get a guilt trip about how my mums not sleeping and eating and it's all my fault for getting pregnant (ummm....they're not having the baby, I am!) and also what an embarrassment and failure I am for the family and how dare I and how unfair it is on DS1!! I'll hear it all! And how DH shouldn't be so irresponsible and should keep it in his pants.

And being a December baby, I'll ruin Christmas! Oh, it's going to be so much fun telling people!! Not! 😞


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[WillowsGirl]

Oh Mumofsix my heart goes out to you. I cannot believe anyone would say such harsh things over the announcement of a baby.

I'm only on my third but will probably start getting the comments, since two seems to be the "norm."

[atomic sagebrush]

I didn't tell anyone till my ultrasound at 20 weeks.

[mt9178]

I have two ultrasounds scheduled already for the NT and then at 18 weeks for gender. I will tell the other boys after the NT scan and I plan on waiting until after we know the gender to announce it all at once to our out of state family. I already get the "you're busy" comments from parents at my sons' school so I don't plan on saying anything until the fall when I won't be able to hide it :)

[momto4boyz]

We have told close family and a few close friends. Rest of the world will wait until we know the gender. I am hoping that cuts down on the tons of "better be a girl this time" comments