age of DH and abstaining?

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

My DH is 42...is abstaining 5-7 days not good?

[Mulberry Smurf]

Atomic doesn't recommend it after 35 xx

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

well crap...LoL SO...since that's not a good idea...what's my best option for DTD?

[aidansmum]

Not advisable BUT that's what we did, but my DH is 46 (!!), we abstained for 6 days but DH was on folic acid to improve quality of sperm for 2 months before trying. There's always a risk and definitely not a good idea, just thought I should mention it worked for us, we are having a baby girl.

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

Thanks all. DH is not on board with this, so telling him "oh we have to do it now and now and now..." well that's just not going to work. That is the reason I asked about abstaining....I feel like that is how it will end up happening. We'll have not done it for a week or so and then he'll be ready :/ LOL, Men!

[kitkat18]

Hey mum3beautifulboys my hubby does not know about my swaying either.....he is 41 and I am 35 so we are dtd every 4 days I tell him it improves sperm quality ...check with atomic but its very non stress xx

Sent from my Windows Phone 8S by HTC using Tapatalk

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

I honestly am not sure he'll want to DTD 4 days in a row. I'm not sure what route to take now, though. We might have sex once a week, if I'm lucky. :/

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

Well...he doesn't really "help" himself ... and since he is not on board with this (at all), I'm not sure I can convince him to do this for me without him completely refusing. He feels like this is "dumb." So, therein lies my issue. I might can get him to DTD two days in a row...I don't know how that would factor in to the sway, but that might be all I can get out of him :hair:

[purpledream]

Me, too, ladies, we are doing our first attempt the first week of May.

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

Can he be bribed into doing what you want? Just saw your in Texas. Yay! I am too.

Yep!! Way down South! The bribery part made me laugh :) I'm not sure that would work either. I guess what I need to find out is...since he's not willing to help...what would be my best "DTD" option. Like I said, I can probably get two DTD days out of him, but I don't know if that is boy territory or girl territory and since this is my last shot, I don't want to mess up.

[purpledream]

Yes, 2. We are DTD every 4th day like most, but we'll see if O falls when it should next month. Hubby is turning 42 next week and I'm 38...been on the diet since January and doing cardio 6 days out of the week, I'm also vegetarian.

[purpledream]

No, I wasn't.

[atomic sagebrush]

I wouldn't and here is the reason why http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/8801-articles-studies-about-why-abstain-not-good-males-over-35-a.html

5 days is ok but that is a long as I would take it. it is not going to sway at that point and instead would be more of a regular release time frame.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks all. DH is not on board with this, so telling him "oh we have to do it now and now and now..." well that's just not going to work. That is the reason I asked about abstaining....I feel like that is how it will end up happening. We'll have not done it for a week or so and then he'll be ready :/ LOL, Men!

What I would do then is just have protected sex whenever he is in the mood to, trying to avoid long abstains. Then go for one unprotected attempt at pos OPK or the day before ovulation. This is what I did with an unwillling hubby and it worked for me, I got a DD.

[atomic sagebrush]

I honestly am not sure he'll want to DTD 4 days in a row. I'm not sure what route to take now, though. We might have sex once a week, if I'm lucky. :/

It's not 4 days in a row, it's every 4 days or so.

[atomic sagebrush]

Did you read about compressed frequent release in the essay or will that not work for you either?

I find CFR to be the most difficult method for husbands and so if you have a reluctant husband this would not be my recommendation

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

So every four days is a girl sway thing? I'm still confused on some things. THank you for answers, I appreciate them tremendously!

[atomic sagebrush]

It's not a girl sway thing, it's probably more neutral to even possibly boy friendly for some people (such as if you were doing nothing else to sway and were highly fertile). But it's an issue of practicality - if your husband will not do anything to sway, and you can't abstain, and you need to placate him to some extent, that way you ensure you have one attempt in the fertile microwindow no matter what. And one attempt has gotten way way better results than any of the frequency patterns have. So it is a bit of a compromise solution for anyone who is not able to do the other techniques.

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

Is a better option to BD for the three or so days up to pos OPK? Once pos, stop?

[atomic sagebrush]

No, it is a much much worse option. 3 BD in the fertile window has resulted in overwhelmingly boys.

I strongly recommend sticking with one attempt in fertile window as long as possible...I believe you guys should drop all other sway tactics save diet and exercise before giving up that one attempt.

[aidansmum]

I honestly am not sure he'll want to DTD 4 days in a row. I'm not sure what route to take now, though. We might have sex once a week, if I'm lucky. :/

My DH was the same, he's too tired from work to be releasing frequently or doing it every 2-3 days, it doesn't work, if I want to get pregnant it's with abstaining. He will do if asked but he will whine about it (working 6 days/week, 12 hour/day will do that to you I suppose). :)